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I not only agree with Berlin Moss but enjoyed the read, very intuitive. I believe we all at times question our role male or female. When I worked for an agency how I viewed things is completely different to my thoughts and feelings now. I actually love what I do now, because I answer to no one, I run things to what makes me happy & enjoy, I've used the industry to explore my own sexuality, broaden my horizions & my personal growth. Not many know me on here but on another board I literally tell gents what I want to try , or what mood I am in that day and theres usually a couple that step up to the plate ;) As any job / career there are good & bad days. Is it morally right or wrong ? I believe the answer is with in each and everyone of us and varies. Depending on the mind set you come into it with. To harm , degrade, heal, pure sensual pleasure or commpanionship. Some its fantasy, bucklist checking others its human touch, connection there are so many varibles of why. My take , As long as ppl are respectful, not harming others or themselves, respect boundaries and both partys or all envolved are consenting adults of the event. I personally have no issues with the moral side. Legally it has come a long way. Personally I think complete legalization would make things safer for sex workers. I have laughed at my gf that was very promiscuous talking down about sex workers. She was my room mate. I asked how many guys have you had back in the last month she laughed it was lets say a few .. I asked her what she got out of it she replied half as many orgasms then men. We laughted and I replied now if you charged them you would have over 4000 in cash and called her free hoe and we laughed so hard. She totally had a different outlook since that day and we still giggle about it. Well thats my 2 cents

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My experience of compensating companions for their time has had me wrestling with ethical dilemmas. I'd like to share my thoughts and invite constructive comments. Why is Sex Work illegal? Our culture heightens sexual cravings by sexualizing people and products. We are conditioned to crave intimacy as an expression of our wholeness as human beings, and when under other stresses, a lack of healthy opportunities for intimacy can become an unmet need causing suffering and heightening the risk of mental illness and self-harming. So an argument can be made that Companions who provide such services are relieving suffering, and providing a kind of therapy. This has been my experience. I have appreciated the humanity and respect shared in my interactions as a client. But I also recognize that scratching the itch often makes it worse. Once a lonely heart take the huge risk of seeing a companion, a positive experience intensifies the craving for more, more, more. So there is an obvious parallel to other forms of addiction. Some former taboos, like the use of marijuana, have been legalized and its use is now largely benevolent. By removing the trade from the hands of illegal suppliers the acceptance of such use has also seen larger numbers of people having a net benefit; just as I will enjoy a glass of Zinfandel after this post. So if the provision of companionship can be genuinely therapeutic (relieving suffering), why does it continue to be regarded as illegal? There are many good reasons to regard sex work as an evil. Human trafficking is an evil. Getting vulnerable people hooked on hard drugs so they can be pimped out to feed their addition is an evil. Huge amounts of money are passing into the hand of criminals who thrive on hurting people by whatever means enhances their profit. So there are aspects of the industry that are and should be prosecuted as criminal. Under our present laws, selling sexual services is legal, but buying such services is illegal. For Sex Workers the legalization of providing services must be a great benefit, adding to the dignity and lessening the risk of choosing this profession. It is reasonable to criminalize those who seek their services? I would argue that because much of sex work still does involve horrific exploitation, the answer is not a simple "no." But the harms are greater because the trade is still illegal for those seeking it. Were it legal, and protected as a human right (both providing and seeking), the opportunities for criminal exploitation would lessen and the mortal outrage against such activities would become harder to sustain rationally. IMO, making sex work legal and regulated would be a positive step in the ethical evolution of our culture. Sex itself would become recognized as a healthy expression of human interactions rather than a dirty taboo, at least when paying for it. In my experience, the companions I have met have been lovely persons with their own agency, enjoying dignity and treating me with respect in my vulnerability. Thank you.

This exactly. when you receive the results they say neg or pos - not dirty or clean! we say HIV+ or Neg. Not hiv dirty ir clean. theres nothing about having any other kind of infection that makes ppl use language like dirty. We say they are sick! so why is it different for sexual health? Stigma perhaps?

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After reading this thread, I'm now addicted to reading anything Berlin Moss cares to write ! 😄

This is a great post! I struggle with the dilemma too! I am someone that fights for the underdog and have worked with the homeless, addicted, mentally unwell, and other areas of people facing disadvantages. Some women (men and others also) readily and freely choose this line of work. Others choose to do it out of a necessity to survive. And yet some are forced into it by people profiting off their backs. I hate to feel that im contributing to any negative repercussions, but I think it’s impossible not to contribute at least in some way to the negatives, if using these services. The way I’ve tried to justify it in my head: 1. These ladies are doing a great service for me. 2. Whether or not I use their services they’ll still have to do the work. 3. At least I know that while they are with me they will be treated with dignity and respect (not including the argument that it’s disrespectful in some way to be using the services to begin with). I have heard the stories about the A-holes and dangerous situations some of these ladies have been placed in and I think they at least appreciate not having to worry about these things with me. I don’t think there is an easy answer. Although some might say there is an east answer “just don’t use the services”. But some of us have a genuine need for these services IMO. All that said, if you do use these services please be good to these people. Respect them, and still ask for consent! If being rude or disrespectful somehow gets you off, talk to them up front to let them know what you’re looking for and see if it can be a mutually agreeable experience. We are all humans and we’re all dealing with something. So please be nice! “We are all in this (life) together”

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Very important post! Thank you, Sam!

Underlying my inclusion of addiction and compulsive behavior in the same Venn circle is the suggestion made by many including Dr. Gabor Mate that such learned adaptations are rooted as reactions to relieve the pain of emotional/psychological trauma. The hypothesis is that everyone has experienced intense suffering. Some of us have matured enough to not be as vulnerable to compulsive/addictive temptations, but IMO no-one is immune. Given sufficient negative stimulation (a shyte-storm) we all may find ourselves driven to seek something for relief. I am not denying the facts of physiological addition to mind-altering substances, but suggest that indulging in such substances begins as part of the same pathology. When we cannot (or are not wise enough to) access healthier forms of relief from suffering, our habitual use of a familiar (but riskier) source of relief conditions us to weakened impulse control and/or the onset of physiological addiction. If I may return to the original focus on asking if the provision of sexual services relieves or aggravates suffering, it is a complex question. Sex involves the activation of instinctual parts of our brain similar to an addiction, but has far deeper meaning to us than the numbing, distraction, or euphoria of many addictions. Sex fulfills a natural and wonderful human instinct, but is also bound up with our deepest desire for belonging, acceptance, relationship, affection, and bonding. Sexual services cannot truly be all these things, but is a surrogate for them. By seeking the surrogate does a client help themselves, or create a deeper wound because the sexual acts provided were not a genuine expression of love between two or more human beings? I had a psychiatrist once whose loving manner felt genuine, and I asked him about it. He said that as a professional he provides his services with genuine compassion -- with love, which is not the same thing as being "in love." I believe that professional companions may be able to do this as well; but it is not easy. Each is a human being with their own issues and experiences. This is why I find it so important to respect and boundaries each sets, and why intimacy like genuine kissing is uncommon. I have found that as a client when my companion welcomes my tenderness and compassion into the room, our time together is truly wonderful because I can give "with love" as well as receive.

Congratulations on your Zen mastery of summarization!

The way this thread devolved into this massive dumpster fire of drama is the perfect illustration on why Halifax is a hard place to hobby - and from the authors of the drama, it looks like both sides can share that blame. Lyla definitely doesn't help. I remember a few years back, when it was so defensive about posting critical reviews, but at the bottom of the review section you could rate the SP out of 5 stars. So one hobbyist (that is still such a silly term to me), gave one particular SP a good textual review, but a poor star rating. So, naturally, the lyla police were called, and the hobbyist was publicly taken to task. But, for what, the hobbyist argued - for using the 5 star system in the exact manner to which it was designed? Needless to say, the star rating option disappeared shortly after. One person commented above (before things got flame-y) that this board is full of single-post threads where one person asks if anyone has ever seen so-and-so, and no one responds (except sometimes GreenTeal who will patiently explain how to spot scams). Well, now you know why no one posts. Because it rarely adds value. I won't even look at lyla - to luck out and find the 1% truth in the 99%scam, is not worth my time. I come here to check those few out-of-town SPs that still post their tour schedules. Nothing against the few non-drama locals here, I've just never gone to a local SP from lyla - as someone else mentioned in a different post, I prefer exotic tastes. But to watch what this place has turned into....I wish there were more choices....

He ain't the only one! I guess the argument comes down to whether the addiction is to the behavior or the response. Either way it isn't a good place to be.

Thank you for your rich response. You name many nuances that deepen my own understanding. For now I refrain from further comment, hoping that others will engage with your observations,

Mind you, a lot of eminent people in the medical field have been accused of that lately. With disastrous consequences. I don't know enough to critique him myself, but happy to learn.

That's actually a common misconception! You can't be addicted to dopamine, or any neurotransmitter for that matter. You can develop a compulsive pattern of behaviour that triggers its release, but that is not a true addiction. Compulsion is an intense urge, whereas addiction is physical dependency. So while a compulsive behaviour can feel like an addiction, it's not. The "tolerance" you reference is largely attributed to dissociation in the individual while engaging in the compulsive behaviour.

This gunna be long, so buckle up, lol. (Summarization is not my strong suit :D) Personally, it's my opinion that sex work, on its own, is morally neutral. We know that sex is a normal and natural human behaviour. Humans are wired for connection and are naturally drawn towards physical contact with others. The reasons to purchase sexual services varies from patron to patron. Things like; stress relief, kink exploration, human contact, engaging conversation, and "mental vacation" are just some of the reasons I've heard. If there are people who are willing to provide a supply for the demand, that's not inherently exploitative just on its own. (From a worker's standpoint, I felt far more exploited while employed by a cafe for just above minimum wage than I do in sex work where I set my own rates and hours.) I would argue that while sex and human contact can have a therapeutic benefit, it is a far cry from an actual form of therapy. The key difference here being that therapy has a mindfully structured and goal-oriented treatment protocol that aligns with specific methodologies. I would encourage people to do away with the idea that sex workers are therapists. (Even if a sex worker is certified in the field, they may be a therapist, but they not your therapist.) To quote a fellow sex worker on this: We are twice as expensive and half as qualified. As far as sex addiction goes, there's a mounting body of evidence that suggests it doesn't actually exist. At least, not in the way people think. This is because "sex addiction" fails to activate the same parts of the brain that typical addictions do. It does not appear in the DSM-5 as a diagnosable mental health condition. An interesting fact is that, on average, self proclaimed "sex addicts" do not engage in sexual activities (intercourse/masturbation) more than the general population. The difference here is the internalized shame that "sex addicts" themselves have attached to the specific activity. That shame is often rooted in religious ideology that has been taught to them about sex throughout the duration of their lives. Alternatively, shame can come just from the moral code of your environmental setting as well. One of the growing pains of the present time is that our society still has a lot of contradictory views around sex and around the morality of how we engage with sex. These views are mostly left over from a more puritanical time. It really wasn't that long ago that even divorce was a whispered subject and children born out of wedlock were widely considered as products of sin. That's not to say that sexual activity can't become problematic. There are many people that engage in sex and masturbation to the point that it does interfere with their day to day life. This is more effectively treated as a symptom of a larger issue, rather than the primary issue itself. It can also be viewed as a compulsive behaviour. The importance of distinguishing between this and a true addiction is that the treatment procedures for addiction vs. lack of impulse control look very different. As far as trafficking goes, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't agree that it's a tragic evil. The fallacy with your thinking here though is that labour trafficking exists across nearly every sector. I would not say that there are good reasons to see farming, fishing, or hospitality as "evil" industries because of the trafficking that is rampant within them. Labour rights and legal policies that offer protections based in human rights are essential in actually combatting all forms of trafficking. I won't get into the "legal and regulated", because I've already written a novel here, but there is a reason sex workers advocate for a decriminalized legal framework. Legalization models sound great on paper but are often counterintuitive and only cause further harm.

Streaky brown chili cheese dog

CommandoPancakes lol!! Jk Not commando it would actually be BlackPancakes but CommandoPancakes sounds funnier

Grey Bagels... Not too bad haha

Black fettuccine

Commando Nacho 😂

Black Advil lol

Red pizza omg haha

Today, well as of right now its Black Coffee And guess what.....I really am having a black coffee A Rambling Over Cup Number One RG

Commando Strawberry 🍓 Fitting since my favourite colour is red

Gnocchi di patate blu

Blue Oatmeal

Finger licking good indeed 😋 😉 very fitting slogan @Janebondage 😝

Yum 😋🤤 I want some 😝

I am thanking the Gods for my life tonight cause my name would be. Commando Ginger! So so happy not to be the only slutty red headed lass in this city. 🥰

Green Poutine 😂

Black macaroni salad 🤢 RG

Black dick…no joke 😂

Hardwood Lydia. I wish. No, mine would be Hardwood Quiche.

Black sausage. Ha ha. That’s funny as heck.

Blue spaghetti

Pink fish and chips

Today it's "No Leftover Spaghetti" An After Supper Rambling RG

Doughnut,doughnut. I'm wearing a doughnut print underwear and just ate a doughnut.

Black Coffee Hey that's OK actually ☕ A Morning Rambling Over Cup Number One...BTW Guess What's In It ☕ RG

Black May Gardens.

Grey popcorn? That doesn't sound healthy.

Plaid pancakes

Black Perogies

Black Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Doesn't really flow does it?

(SAXX) Maple leaf Big Mac