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I have a question about the reference program that the sp's use. I am wondering what my brothers think about an sp who doesn't use it. How do you feel about that service provider?

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I have a question about the reference program that the sp's use. I am wondering what my brothers think about an sp who doesn't use it. How do you feel about that service provider?

 

I don't think it matters. Each lady does what she thinks is best for her. If the lady insists on a reference, I'm fine with that. If she doesn't see the value in doing that, I don't think it really indicates very much of anything about her. Some ladies believe in asking for references while others just don't have the time or see the value in it.

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What backrubman said. It makes no difference to me.

 

The ones who don't ask for references probably have their own methods of screening, which may or may not be obvious to the client.

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Doesn't matter to me either. If asked for a reference I provide one, no worries. I can't fault someone whom I've never met doing some research for their safety. I mean isn't that why us gentlemen use a board like this one?

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From an SP's perspective, I do not use references. As I have learned from personal experience, clients can treat one SP a certain way and then turn around and treat another SP a different way.

 

While I have gathered references in the past, it is not 100%. It is a useful tool but is never foolproof either. For those ladies who ask for them, that is their prerogative. There is no right or wrong way.

 

I prefer to use my own methods to decide whether or not I will meet a person. There are some clients my SP friends have seen several times and I've met them and chose not to see them again because they rubbed me the wrong way. No pun intended.

 

And on a funny note relating to the subject, I've had a few gentlemen use me as references with no problems but one lady asked me " So and so said he was xxxxxxx with the green shirt." As if I'm supposed to remember who he is without giving a name or number. Total waste of time. Lol. If someone is going to going to give a reference, please use your name, number and also a Lyla handle.

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Better yet, if you want to use someone as a reference, have the courtesy to drop her a line and ask first. That way she'll be expecting the inquiry when it comes, and she'll know who's being asked about...

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Better yet, if you want to use someone as a reference, have the courtesy to drop her a line and ask first. That way she'll be expecting the inquiry when it comes, and she'll know who's being asked about...

 

+ 1 as shows respect for the person from whom you are requesting a reference.

 

Additional Comments:

From an SP's perspective, I do not use references. As I have learned from personal experience, clients can treat one SP a certain way and then turn around and treat another SP a different way.

 

While I have gathered references in the past, it is not 100%. It is a useful tool but is never foolproof either. For those ladies who ask for them, that is their prerogative. There is no right or wrong way.

 

I prefer to use my own methods to decide whether or not I will meet a person. There are some clients my SP friends have seen several times and I've met them and chose not to see them again because they rubbed me the wrong way. No pun intended.

 

And on a funny note relating to the subject, I've had a few gentlemen use me as references with no problems but one lady asked me " So and so said he was xxxxxxx with the green shirt." As if I'm supposed to remember who he is without giving a name or number. Total waste of time. Lol. If someone is going to going to give a reference, please use your name, number and also a Lyla handle.

 

That's funny. Kinda like us posting a recommendation for "that SP ... you know ... the one that took her clothes off."

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Better yet, if you want to use someone as a reference, have the courtesy to drop her a line and ask first...

 

One thing that "bothers" me about the whole reference idea starts with what Phaedrus said which is exactly right, it's only polite to ask first.

 

The troublesome part is that 9 times out of 10 the subsequent query or reference request never actually occurs for whatever reason so the polite asking if it's ok to use as a reference ends up (ultimately) amounting to extraneous chatter.

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