Dms

[Cjthomas 1685]

I’ve been given some information through dms here and elsewhere from some trusted members concerning an active hobbyist who has an untreatable sti. When a dm is sent should it be assumed even when not stated  that the information being shared is not for public viewing? My dilemma is since the nature of the information is concerning should I share it?  We all become very concerned and openly speak about a provider when it is known that they have a sti. So shouldn’t the same concern and knowledge be shared when it’s a fellow hobbyist? I can understand why the sources of this information won’t share it since they could face retaliation from this person. He does appear to be that type and their business might suffer. I don’t have that issue. What to do. Ben mulling this dover and over.

[Lemmy Caution 197]

If these are credible allegations, and depending on what it is, he can be held criminally and civilly liable, if he doesn't disclose it, I'm pretty sure. That's not something to mess with.

If it's HPV, I don't know... Technically fits your description, but most people have that. HIV or HSV is bad. 

[AdamSandler 459]

I'm pretty torn. I think the mods would probably remove anything public if you tried to post it and you would likely get a warning. 
 

But as a community member it's certainly something I would like to know, especially if he's very active. I would not want to see any providers he has also seen because protection or not that raises my risk, especially if it's a gfe provider.

[Cjthomas 1685]

1 hour ago, Lemmy Caution said:

If these are credible allegations, and depending on what it is, he can be held criminally and civilly liable, if he doesn't disclose it, I'm pretty sure. That's not something to mess with.

If it's HPV, I don't know... Technically fits your description, but most people have that. HIV or HSV is bad. 

I believe they’re credible. Those who are aware are recommended providers. I’m sure they’ve either seen signs in person or have been given this info from others they trust. To my knowledge none of those saying this have bad feelings towards this person beyond their concern of him being careless with his and others health. 

[Cjthomas 1685]

8 minutes ago, AdamSandler said:

I'm pretty torn. I think the mods would probably remove anything public if you tried to post it and you would likely get a warning. 
 

But as a community member it's certainly something I would like to know, especially if he's very active. I would not want to see any providers he has also seen because protection or not that raises my risk, especially if it's a gfe provider.

Yes you may be right although I believe anything said in the past about a provider remained. But I could be wrong.

As far as you wanting to know, I’m not surprised. You seem to have a need and a want to know something about everyone. No offence meant😂

[Babygirl_brooklyn 377]

On 6/3/2026 at 9:23 AM, AdamSandler said:

I'm pretty torn. I think the mods would probably remove anything public if you tried to post it and you would likely get a warning. 
 

But as a community member it's certainly something I would like to know, especially if he's very active. I would not want to see any providers he has also seen because protection or not that raises my risk, especially if it's a gfe provider.

It’s not a secret to us long-time, local providers who you’re referring to. We have our own private areas to discuss bad dates and do share safety information amongst each other.
 

I often hear clients on here getting upset because providers are “too restrictive” or not offering “full GFE,” but incidents like this are examples as to why some of us are particular with what services we offer, and to whom. Doing everything with everyone isn’t always the safest. Just some food for thought. 
 

Getting tested regularly is of utmost importance for both clients and providers. Let this serve as a reminder. 

[GChrome 1345]

Yikes, this is extremely negligent and disgusting. 

[AdamSandler 459]

5 hours ago, Cjthomas said:

Yes you may be right although I believe anything said in the past about a provider remained. But I could be wrong.

As far as you wanting to know, I’m not surprised. You seem to have a need and a want to know something about everyone. No offence meant😂

I feel like it's reasonable to want to know so I don't end up sloppy seconds after someone knowingly visits a provider while said person has an active STI. I'd question the people who wouldn't care or wouldn't want to know 

[Jon22391 21]

Definitely not something I like hearing about for the health and wellbeing of all of us, service providers and clients. I have not gotten any service that was not safe in some time, but anything that adds risk to anyone isn't good.

[Redcap 802]

What exactly would you share?

by posting this, you’ve already let the person know the information is spreading. 
 

by doing so, they may just switch usernames or get a new burner phone, etc. 

 

I’m not sure what a post like this is meant to accomplish. 

[Lemmy Caution 197]

[Redcap 802]

7 hours ago, AdamSandler said:

I feel like it's reasonable to want to know so I don't end up sloppy seconds after someone knowingly visits a provider while said person has an active STI. I'd question the people who wouldn't care or wouldn't want to know 

Unless you’re going to hire a PI to follow the guy around, I don’t see how you’d know which providers he’s going to. 
 

At any given time, when you see an SP, you’re taking a risk, as you have no idea who they’ve seen before you. All you can do is visit reputable providers, and trust that they’ll exercise their judgement in rejecting anyone who obviously has an STI, and practice safe services. 
 

Would we want to know? Sure. Is it actually practical? Absolutely not. 

[AdamSandler 459]

23 minutes ago, Redcap said:

Unless you’re going to hire a PI to follow the guy around, I don’t see how you’d know which providers he’s going to. 
 

At any given time, when you see an SP, you’re taking a risk, as you have no idea who they’ve seen before you. All you can do is visit reputable providers, and trust that they’ll exercise their judgement in rejecting anyone who obviously has an STI, and practice safe services. 
 

Would we want to know? Sure. Is it actually practical? Absolutely not. 

You're right. But some can be tracked based on a person posting in discussion and recommendation threads. But as someone else pointed out this thread likely means the person in question might just make a new account so they can be anonymous again. 

[Cjthomas 1685]

11 hours ago, Redcap said:

What exactly would you share?

by posting this, you’ve already let the person know the information is spreading. 
 

by doing so, they may just switch usernames or get a new burner phone, etc. 

 

I’m not sure what a post like this is meant to accomplish. 

Isn’t it obvious what would be shared? This forum is used daily for sharing information. Beneficial or not, liked or not. Not every person is going to agree with every post. I ignore many. If he changes his handle I’m sure it’ll be obvious at some point and I’m also sure that he’s been aware of this information being shared for quite some time. In the future I hope you add your concern to the threads that occasionally come up when it’s mentioned that a provider has a sti. We dont want to have double standards here do we.

[Romero7 1]

Can someone at least tell us which SP to avoid. Or maybe a hint to find out whom to avoid.

[Babygirl_brooklyn 377]

2 hours ago, Romero7 said:

Can someone at least tell us which SP to avoid. Or maybe a hint to find out whom to avoid.

No one is discussing SPs at all, this is about a frequent flyer here on Lyla.. 

 

It’s not my business nor was I trying to get involved. The point I was trying to make here is, respect the safety measures we put in place, whether that be service restrictions, screening, or deposits. They exist to protect us from dangerous clients like this. 

[Cjthomas 1685]

8 hours ago, Romero7 said:

Can someone at least tell us which SP to avoid. Or maybe a hint to find out whom to avoid.

Did you not read my post? My goodness now I know why so many ladies put “please read full ad” in their ads. I’m not responding to anymore dms. To many asking what provider. I clearly stated it is a fellow hobbyist . Read! From what I’ve been told most local providers were already aware so need need to say anymore.

[addictedone 223]

On 6/3/2026 at 7:27 AM, Cjthomas said:

Ben mulling this dover and over.

Connecting the dots. Those appear to be intentional spelling mistakes 😉.

[Romero7 1]

6 hours ago, Cjthomas said:

Did you not read my post? My goodness now I know why so many ladies put “please read full ad” in their ads. I’m not responding to anymore dms. To many asking what provider. I clearly stated it is a fellow hobbyist . Read! From what I’ve been told most local providers were already aware so need need to say anymore.

Why you feeling attacked. Chill bruh. If you don't wanna answer don't answer it. Don't try to pull down someone if they misread it.