Multiples...or groups...fantasy or reality?

[frenchbrute 1090]

Hello fellow cerbites,

 

I had been pondering a question for a while now and had been wondering if it was only me. But, after a recent discussion with a group of about 20 people I used to go to high school with, the question came up. We were discussing sex and the differences between later in life and high school and then my question came up. How often or even if, besides in porn or in an escorting situation do threesomes or group sex get proposed. Of course we mentioned that most people think about it but not quite as many are game to suggest it. So the question is...how often in reality does this actually occur and as well..how often is it the woman that suggests it?

[Guest S**a*Q]

I've had a lot of group sex in the past two relationships I was in... You can't just all of a sudden say "Hey, I wanna sleep with a bunch of people" We (my SO and I) were always open and that kind of thing... I think it's me, I seem to make people be more sexual... lol.

 

But sex was always just something to do, like watching a movie or whatnot with friends. Both relationships were the same, sex was just natural for us and people/friends just joined in... Now, booze helped a lot I found, but you rarely had noontime orgies... Most of them were after the bar... I'm not implying that booze is needed, but it definitely loosened people up :D

 

Now this doesn't reflect on most relationships, as my last two were considered "open" relationships. I don't think it's something you can just throw out there and it be readily accepted.

[BownChickaBown 4829]

It may have been rare and little of my doing (other than being ready and willing and just what was around at the time for these particular ladies), but I consider myself fortunate to have had a couple of such decent non-hobby related proposals :-) (...and sometimes, just sometimes, Santa truly does reward nice guys, and not always have us finish last :D )

 

(Long story short...)

A girl I picked-up online back in 2001 whom I 'had relations' with for a couple of years tickled me one day not long ago and asked if I would like to meet her friend (supposedly her friend had been single for a while and needed a shag, while the original girl was 'not available' anymore). It was all good to me, when after the first meeting of her friend, the original girl then wanted to join-in, to which we all did one night - then another night not long after (before it all fell apart, which is a different story).

 

This was all at their proposal and they are not working girls, so I guess it can and does happen, as it luckily did for me :-)

 

Got to love the early days of the Internet!

(...and ladies, as a guy, I truly appreciate when you refer us to your lady friends for friendly-benefits ;) hehe Keep it Up! Thanks!)

[frenchbrute 1090]

Thank you Sara for your input. As always it's honest to to the point. My opinion or from what I have seen is that close to 100 percent of guys have dreamt of it or at least wouldn't say no to it being suggested by their SO, so a woman's point of view here is refreshing and interesting. In my own case however, most friends as you discussed around myself are married and some have been lifelong friends so it makes things a little different. I guess what's fun is I am still single and can do as I please. I can for sure see the alcohol thing loosening up most people as the past few weddings i've been to i've had a few people make funny statements or requests they wouldnt make sober. I'm just fiding it funny these days that the ladies talk about sex openly like that and share stories and the guys don't seem to have any or stories that are as good! The debate about group sex was definetely fun!

 

So, anybody else have different angles on this one besides myself and Sara?

[castle 38816]

Not sure if I would participate in threesomes or orgies if I was serious about my SO at the time. I've never gotten into it myself but a buddy of mine was and no matter how open with each other he and his gf were, the feelings of jealousy always inevitably arose and eventually led to their break up. Just seems to me there's too much room for complications. Now if there's a girl I'm "seeing" (read: fuck buddy) then sure, I'd definitely be open to it. But I personally wouldn't go there with a serious SO. Sure, it could be fun, but for me, personally, no amount of fun would be worth the risk to our relationship.

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[frenchbrute 1090]

Well,

 

Mr. Castle, of course for myself I wouldnt suggest it in a committed relationship unless it was something that was previously discussed and that I was aware she was into or open to the idea. I would take a stab that the most important parts of that would be honesty, trust & enjoyment and to me if those were all there for her the I would be : all-in! As for now..it's single time so it's personal choice!

[Guest S**a*Q]

Yeah, I can comment on the jealousy thing. It's not easy to watch your SO with someone else, as I'm sure it wasn't for him to watch me. I think both relationships were too immature, both in time and in trust, to have survived what we did sexually with others.

 

There was always that fairness factor. I've been the third in threesomes, as I've also been a part of the couple. It's much easier to be the third, but I make sure that I spread the love. I'm conscious about the lady in question more than the guy. *(This is obviously not when I'm with one of the ladies on the board, they know what's up ;) hehe.) Guys are easy... maybe I just know how to read people...

 

But yeah, I'd probably never do that with an SO again, too many feelings involved and not just suckyfucky feelings.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

...how often in reality does this actually occur...

 

Reality aside, here are some answers:

 

According to ABC News' "The American Sex Survey" in 2004 (random-sample telephone poll of 1,501 adults),

14% of respondents had participated in a threesome.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/images/Politics/959a1AmericanSexSurvey.pdf

 

According to Cosmopolitan's "The Great Female Survey 2010" (more than 100,000 surveyed),

"Less than 10% of women confirm they've ever had a threesome"

 

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/advice/tips/great-female-survey/threesome-statistic

 

Responses to askmen.com's "Great Male Survey 2005" (72,000 web responses): "Have you ever had a threesome?" total 16%:

 

8% Yes, I've had a FMF threesome

5% Yes, I've had a MFM threesome

3% Yes, I've had both FMF and MFM threesomes

 

http://ca.askmen.com/media_kit/survey/sexuality_dec2004.html

 

According to Elle's on-line reader survey in 2006 (77,895 respondents),

5% had engaged in a threesome during the past year.

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12410076/ns/health-sexual_health/t/what-you-said-when-we-asked-about-sex/

[Carley Chase 18985]

I have had the pleasure of a few threesomes ( MMF, FFM) Which in a few case I did suggest. Perhaps it was 1 or two many martinis, hehe. I really enjoy threesomes, its very erotic. I do not think if I was in a serious relationship I could do it. It would be hot at the moment but then after the fact, I think it would bother me. Unless it was someone you were never going to see again. If you were on a trip or something.

 

As for group, never have done it. Though I think it would be so freakin hot.. Either two couples or something a long those lines, hehe. I would not be able to inciate it. But would be game for it!

[Katherine of Halifax 113931]

I have had been involved in every sexual scenerio possible, threesomes, couple swaping to group orgies. Some have been planned and others occur in the moment of time or situation.

 

I can't say I perfer one to another, each situation presents its own unique set of circumstances and chemistry. People, alcohol, and countries involved can change each encounter, from better to better.

 

All my experiences have been fabulous so I'd be here a very long time deciding! :icon_smile::icon_smile::icon_smile:

[bcguy42 38594]

As noted in one of my previous posts, there has been a lot of multiple participant activity in my life. MMF, MFF, MFFF, MMFF, MMFFF, MMM. How many other permutations were there? Whatever, that should suffice. There was a very even split between who suggested any given encounter.

 

My first wife and I had a MMF thing going on a couple of times. Each time at her behest.

 

That being said, I do not offer forth my experiences as an example anyone should follow. It has come to me over the years that I am wired in a fairly unique fashion.