Big crush on a SP

[Guest Sno****54]

I not sure if this section is the right area to make a weird question to pooners and SPs as well: is there someone who have felt in love with a SPs or viceversa ( an Sps who felt in love with a customer)? . We knows clearly that this hobby is just a bussiness which moves between boundaries of phantasies. We play roles in an ideal and magical world where we achieve all kind of desires :aol_anal: and stravaganzas :whipping:which usually are difficult to fullfill in real world.So, when the time is done, we back to reality:icon_frown:.However, sometimes we have a special bond or chemistry with certain people, in this case with a Sp or a customer, and in spite of many fake stuff going there (names, ages, false orgasms:spermy3:, etc.) we sometimes feel there is more than monkeybusiness :hump:, especially when you become a regular with:lovers:. How do you managed that situation?

[Andee 220524]

This thread might help you with some insight:

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=98889&highlight=falling+love

[roamingguy 300291]

How do you manage...simple, you have to keep your emotional head on straight. Don't confuse the sexual intimacy found in an encounter with love. This lifestyle is about no strings attached companionship. Yes there are ladies I've come to like and consider friends (with benefits :-) ) But at no time do I kid myself that it is love, nor am I looking for that one special woman.

Likely, any feelings you have are one way. Enjoy this lifestyle for what it is, but don't go reading more into it than there is. It is poly amorous by nature. And for the ladies, it is their livelihood. It is their profession, one which requires a very special gift dealing intimately with men. But they have their emotional head on straight. If they didn't, they'd run the risk of emotional involvement with their clients. Enjoy this lifestyle for what it is. Don't read more into it though or you are setting yourself up to be hurt

My two cents

RG

[Guest Ou**or**n]

I have found this to be a very real danger. If you see a variety of ladies you are bound to have great personal chemistry with some. When this is combined with great sex then it can certainly cause an infatuation. It can be even worse because on many levels they CAN be very honest relationships where you first get to know each in a very no-bullsh--t kind of way. It does happen with the ladies as well and certainly some couples have met as client and SP.

 

However as many threads have warned this is can be a very complicated type of relationship. The first big issue would be whether you could be involved with a women who continued to be an SP for a living. Some guys can, others can't but worse some think they can but find over time they can't. As others may chime in (or point to in other threads) there is the need to respect the ladies income and the independence it gives her.

 

Second, how close are you in ages? The reality in many client-SP encounters is there is a big age gap. While this is fine in our little fantasy world it isn't ok in the real world. Family and friends of both of you will be uncomfortable if there is a big gap. How big is too big? Well it depends to an extent on culture but in our society 5 years is best and 10 years a practical max. Outside of that and there will be major incompatibility issues, especially as you age.

 

Personally I recognize I am susceptible to this type of thing and I know I'm the kind that would not be able to have a wife or girlfriend that is an SP. This is a personal feeling here and it is mine. Because I feel this way and because I would never want a lady to give up her job or independence I actually pro-actively take steps to avoid the type of infatuation you are mentioning.

 

I do this in a few ways. First while I like to repeat with a girl I never get involved exclusively with one lady. To me it just isn't emotionally healthy and is the start down this dangerous path. Secondly I work on maintaining good, honest relationships with my friends and spend time with them. Seeing an SP for social time because you are lonely is dangerous. Cultivate real world friendships, not paid ones. Of course if I'm travelling I'll see a lady for social time because I truly do get a bit lonely but that is a different situation. When I see a lady the time is mostly spent on having great sex. Finally I do see girls with a very large age difference. First, yes I like banging hot young ladies. However this also has the beneficial side-effect that a 25-year age gap is so vast that it so completely eliminates any possibility of a relationship that it never even begins to enter your head.

 

We are all different, these are my thoughts and how I deal with these things. I hope some may be helpful.

[mrgreen760 37785]

It's a service and a business transaction. Initially it can take some time to figure this out and I'll admit it did for me. Providers are supposed to make you feel special, it's part of the gig. And good ones make you feel very special.....until the times up.

 

 

Peace

MG

[2tontony 657]

Yea I'm with MrGreen here. It is a business transaction and they are a sexual practitioner whose job (and what you are paying for) is to please you. As with anybody or any situation it is always ymmv but nothing is more respected than kindness. Let the experience fill your soul and soothe your savage breast and leave it there.

[Boomer 33202]

Love, I think it's great falling in love whether it's with a professional or not.

 

But, I think you have to keep your perspective. The vast majority of people who are part of this community maintain two identities, one that you share during an encounter and the other when you're off the clock and at home. So I think it's of the utmost importance that you realize which person you're really think you know.

[Guest Sno****54]

Great comments my brothers. In my high mileage as hobbist for different continents always I consider this hobby as "the dark side of the moon". In that secret side, we play a character very different of our real personality, and the only real thing is the financial transaction: if sources end, the service is cut :pimp:. It´s very simple :capitalism in its pure esence.

In this case which I put in consideration, I really know who are the Sp and her real thoughts, and I love it. However, I will take note of those good pieces of advice which you guys gave me here. At the end of day, the most important is to live the magical moment with this phantastic lady without think about tomorrow : it, probably, never will exist in the "clear side of the moon"´. So, as 2tontony said " Let the experience fill your soul and soothe your savage breast and leave it there.":icon_cry:

 

:ThankYou:

[hengineken 110]

It happen to me and we had to quit seeing each other. Now I have to find another, but who.

[roamingguy 300291]

Great comments my brothers. In my high mileage as hobbist for different continents always I consider this hobby as "the dark side of the moon". In that secret side, we play a character very different of our real personality, and the only real thing is the financial transaction: if sources end, the service is cut :pimp:. It´s very simple :capitalism in its pure esence.

In this case which I put in consideration, I really know who are the Sp and her real thoughts, and I love it. However, I will take note of those good pieces of advice which you guys gave me here. At the end of day, the most important is to live the magical moment with this phantastic lady without think about tomorrow : it, probably, never will exist in the "clear side of the moon"´. So, as 2tontony said " Let the experience fill your soul and soothe your savage breast and leave it there.":icon_cry:

 

:ThankYou:

 

Well first, at least for me, my personality is the same, whether with family, friends, or the wonderful ladies I've met through this lifestyle.

So any ladies that meet me, are meeting the real me, not a character.

But, what I have to do is compartmentalize my life. There are things about my life everyone knows, some things my family knows, some things my friends know, some things only the ladies know, and some things only I know. About the only time, on the surface it would seem that my personality would change is at work (I become very strict, rigid, and treat matters very black and white)...but it's due to the nature of the work, and I have to put on a game face if you will, not to do so would be seen as a sign of weakness. But I digress

But speaking on another note, you say you know the SP in her real life.

Question I have, does she know you too, both in your real life and as a gentleman partaking in this lifestyle. If she only knows you in one life, she may feel she is being taken advantage of by your knowledge of two sides of her life.

Not thrown out to argue, but as food for thought

RG

[dumbass 465]

i am in this situation right now. but will never say anything as i know how this is supposed to work and i dont want to make her uncomfortable in any way. she is very sweet and treats me nice.

[Jabba 18389]

This thread invites confession. Maybe it's good for the soul. Here goes...

 

I became acquainted with a lady to whom I was powerfully, physically attracted. She & I were worlds apart both in age and interests. Yet, I felt we touched the essence for friendship. Visits were very much about fun, experimentation and a little companionship. We were both fully aware of the nature of our relationship. We silently accepted an arms-length agreement for anonymity; I kept my play name and she kept hers.

 

Two grown adults meeting, touching, trusting, enjoying, sharing sensitive experiences. Yet both of us are unwilling to give up a portion of our private lives for the sake of protecting an illusion.

 

Maybe the shield and illusion is necessary. I took an extra step and discovered my secret companion's real name. I told myself I did this for the simple intellectual challenge. I know better of course, because I really valued our intimacy and I felt I had to know the real name of my connection. I have no intentions on doing anything with, or about my knowledge. But I have to tell you I really enjoyed the illusion of togetherness. Recently, my friend is drawing-away from our get togethers. Her interests change because I understand that is her nature. Disappointing, but that's the way it goes.

 

Is that infatuation or what?

[roamingguy 300291]

This thread invites confession. Maybe it's good for the soul. Here goes...

 

I became acquainted with a lady to whom I was powerfully, physically attracted. She & I were worlds apart both in age and interests. Yet, I felt we touched the essence for friendship. Visits were very much about fun, experimentation and a little companionship. We were both fully aware of the nature of our relationship. We silently accepted an arms-length agreement for anonymity; I kept my play name and she kept hers.

 

Two grown adults meeting, touching, trusting, enjoying, sharing sensitive experiences. Yet both of us are unwilling to give up a portion of our private lives for the sake of protecting an illusion.

 

Maybe the shield and illusion is necessary. I took an extra step and discovered my secret companion's real name. I told myself I did this for the simple intellectual challenge. I know better of course, because I really valued our intimacy and I felt I had to know the real name of my connection. I have no intentions on doing anything with, or about my knowledge. But I have to tell you I really enjoyed the illusion of togetherness. Recently, my friend is drawing-away from our get togethers. Her interests change because I understand that is her nature. Disappointing, but that's the way it goes.

 

Is that infatuation or what?

 

Maybe brave to confess, but discovering the lady's real name. Really, if she wanted you to know her real name she would have told you. If she didn't want you to know, you should have respected her and her privacy. I'm sure guys would be upset if a lady breached their privacy.

When a guy sees a lady in this lifestyle, he is allowed to see what she is comfortable letting him see. It doesn't entitle him into all areas of her life, nor to snoop into it. What was done a major breach.

I really don't know what was hoped to be gained by knowing her real name. That to me is a major breech, not just of privacy, but of trust

RG

[Jabba 18389]

Maybe brave to confess, but discovering the lady's real name. Really, if she wanted you to know her real name she would have told you. If she didn't want you to know, you should have respected her and her privacy. I'm sure guys would be upset if a lady breached their privacy.

I really don't know what was hoped to be gained by knowing her real name. That to me is a major breech, not just of privacy, but of trust

RG

 

A cautionary tale to be sure. I'm friends with other SPs, and they are really pissed when guys try to find personal info on them. Apparently it happens all the time. I'm not making light of it. In fact, from other threads here, it is a risk of the business. I don't want to high-jack this thread by discussing privacy issues RG, I just wanted to introduce a POV and simply say that infatuation can take many forms even from those of us who have a lot of years in this hobby.

[Guest Sno****54]

.

Question I have, does she know you too, both in your real life and as a gentleman partaking in this lifestyle. If she only knows you in one life, she may feel she is being taken advantage of by your knowledge of two sides of her life.

Not thrown out to argue, but as food for thought

RG

Good point my friend. When I refer about character, I didn´t say different personality. I just refer to the fact of being lover for a short period of time, and usually the lady has an artistic name and we not give them our real name as well. It´s a play whith literal "happy end".

 

About knowing the lady ,I think I have more information about she than she about me. Anywyas, after reading your recommendations I have a better idea about my feelings. I just decided to refarin any intention of cross beyond of the world of phantasy.It already hurts, but I cannot be a kind of masochist going deeper in such a risky adventure to nowhere.

[Angus Podgorny 1361]

Time to seperate fantasy from fact here. "SP" stands for "service provider". Most Sps nowadays have model like bodies. (Most of the ones I see anyway). It's every guy's dream to fall in love with such a a woman. But come on.. if an SP provides "GFE", or "girlfriend experience", it's just that. That's why we pay them.... for the fantasy. It's like.... the sexy cashier at Safeway smiles at you as she hands you the receipt.... she's told by management to do so. Don't take it any further and show respect and restraint. Otherwise it borders on stalking if you take it further than that.

[Guest Sno****54]

It's like.... the sexy cashier at Safeway smiles at you as she hands you the receipt.... she's told by management to do so.

Good point Angus, however there is nothing that halts you of trying a shoot with a sexy cashier at Safeway, right? At the end of the day, Sp´s sleep with her men like any another woman of the world; and certain epic Sps as Holland develops a career until get pregnant, who knows if she known her man in this bussines? I don´t believe in spirits, but their exists for sure.

[pjrd 324]

relax you guys. i know lots of sp's real name and they know mine. If they want to tell you their name they will. i havn't had any problems with that ever. they don't start coming around making trouble for me. they are professional. I did kinda have feelings for a few of them from time to time but gave my head a shake and said "PJ you know better, You just don't go there". Not at my age anyways, lol.

[roamingguy 300291]

relax you guys. i know lots of sp's real name and they know mine. If they want to tell you their name they will. i havn't had any problems with that ever. they don't start coming around making trouble for me. they are professional. I did kinda have feelings for a few of them from time to time but gave my head a shake and said "PJ you know better, You just don't go there". Not at my age anyways, lol.

 

Quite a few SP's know my real name...I gave it to them (in most cases as part of verification, but my choice to give out)

A few (three to be exact) SP's gave me their real name (their choice btw, and no I won't name those ladies, it is private between the two of us)

But to dig around to find out a SP's real name, when they haven't given it to you is something entirely different, and a major breech of her privacy

If someone doesn't give out her (or his as the case may be) there is a reason for it. They keep their "civilian" life seperate from this "lifestyle" life and don't want the two to overlap. To dig around to find out a person's real name, you are stealing something that is theirs, and is very important to a person, their privacy, and it starts bordering, as Angus says, on stalking. And it isn't harmless, how do you think a lady would react if she found a client prying into her private life...how would a guy react if a lady started digging into his private life. Probably at least a combination of fear and anger, fear, what is he/she going to do with this information, anger at the violation of privacy. What is the next thing a person would breech after that.

RG

[billybob 20128]

It seems bragadocious to talk about obtaining the real names of SP's. I have 3 real names you have 2. What's the point?

[nphinn 100]

I have been in this scene for many years-even though new to this board. All I can say is that it happens. I got involved with a regular. I had to break it off. I was fine with what she did for a living, but, habits are another thing.

 

I begrudge nobody for choosing to get involved. Just be prepared for what you may discover about each other.

 

I have a very special lady in my life that is an SP, and we have been friends outside of work for many years now. In my opinion, that is the way to go.

 

Good luck, and make wiser choices than I!!

[billybob 20128]

roamingguy:

and who are you bragging too...anonymous board handles

 

No idea what that comment means, I don't brag about receiving personal information from SP's, it's ungentlemanly.

[roamingguy 300291]

roamingguy:

and who are you bragging too...anonymous board handles

 

No idea what that comment means, I don't brag about receiving personal information from SP's, it's ungentlemanly.

 

I was agreeing with you, you used the term bragadocious in your post. I'm just commenting that those who do get ladies' real name, if they do brag, are bragging likely to board handles which are anonymous...I mean how many of us tell our "civilian" friends about our paticipation in this lifestyle.

I certainly in the few cases where a lady has given me her name kept it between the lady and myself.

In fact most aspects of an encounter stay between a lady and myself, behind closed doors, except those in a recommendation which the lady gets to see first, and give her yay or nay to me posting.

I would have gone with a full post and explaination but I was in agreement with your post and comment line too short and gave you rep points as well. And I certainly wasn't implying you brag, if I thought you, by your post did brag, I certainly wouldn't have given rep points out.

RG

[Guest Sno****54]

This thread went to anywhere because some guys here started to be judgemental, and I just wanted to know if someone had similar experience, and how they managed that situation. For sure, there is obvious that business is business,but once on a blue moon anomalous situations occur because we are humang being. In spite of infatuation between Sp and costumer must be consider as an exception and not as a rule, emotional envolvement exists , and I´m glad for it because it means we remain as human being and not just a horny bull looking for any cow.

[Ry-ry 310]

I've been with a few SP's that have divulged what i've felt is pretty personal information--especially in a business that can be as risky as this one is. I've felt that some really have let their guard down. There's been a couple of times, at least, where I really thought that revealing that sort of info, had maybe surpassed into a realm of an attempt at something more.

 

That being said, it would be tough to know. I did meet one girl that openly said that she wouldn't have minded meeting someone through her work. Now, whether that meant "someone that can afford me so that I don't have to see all those other guys", I dunno. :) It would be difficult to be an SP, because I think that if you're too real, too honest, maybe it doesn't seem believable to some clients, and then if you're too nice, too accommodating, then certain clients start to get infatuated with something that they perceive to go beyond mere physical attraction. It's always easy to present the best of yourself, when you only have to present an hour or two here and there....that goes for clients and SP's alike.