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This is so incredibly beautiful, Jade. It truly speaks to the multifaceted nature of our relationships... I've read your post multiple times and feel like I could have said those words myself. In fact, I've often thought them but never written them down.

 

Thank you. You're wonderful.

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I know that our arrangment is as such that it is me that is here for you, an escape from your world to take you to a place of excitment and fantasy. Where you dont have to think. Where we can drown in a place of pleasure in togther. Or to seek comfort when your lonely, lost, stressed.

 

I know that given our lives we cannot always be together when you want us to be. I understand that you have responsibilities that need to be attended to. Family, work.

 

Please understand this for me as well. We live seperate lives. It is as it should be. I know this. I will always try to be here for you when you need me. Though its not always possible.

 

I know it frustrates you sometimes when you are unable to reach me. Its frustrating for me as well. This double life we both lead sometimes makes meeting difficult. Be patient love, it will get better, easier.

 

Sometimes I cannot share with you the reasons that keep me from you. That is also as it should be. In this illusion we've created unless we reach a level of trust. It does not allow me to tell you when Im hurting or sad or tired or ill.

 

You do not come to see me for those things. You come to see me for my smile, the way my eyes light up when they search your face. You come to see me to feel my lips caress yours. To feel my hands exploring your body. To feel the gentleness of my touch. To share moments of time together to laugh, to love. To explore your dreams, your fanasies. I love being able to give that to you. To share that with you.

 

I want to always give you the best of me. Anytime we speak. any time that we share that I am yours. If there is ever a time when I cannot give you the best of me. I will not. I do not want you to see me that way.

 

I hope you understand.

 

Do you realise how special it is what we share. The trust it takes in the other? The unspoken promises we've made without asking?

 

To protect each other. To keep secrets in the moments we share. To keep each other safe. I know I trust you. I have to, to be able bring you to a place that even if its not mine. Its ours for that time. I trust you to be gentle with me and not cause me pain. You trust me to keep healthy and whole. It says alot about you, and about me to be able to do that. I's amazing xo

 

I love that every time we see each other our connection grows, our trust grows. That the more we know each other. It just gets better and better.

 

I dont know how to end this letter to you except to say. Until we meet or are able to meet again. I will be thinking about you.

 

Always,

 

Jade xoxo

Such nice sentiments, you must be a very thoughtful and caring provider!

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Jade, that was poetry. You managed to beautifully express the fragile reality of our shared liaisons. Beautiful is an apt description of your post. That was beautiful insight. Thank you for sharing with us.

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Jade, thanks for sharing this.....I really appreciate hearing how and what you say. It is true that sometimes we look for a reply immediately and do forget that you have schedules and life to take care of. Food for thought as they say. S.

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