Loneliness?

[carlosage 1004]

Thanks to everyone for their words of wisdom/advice...

 

As I've said earlier, part of my reluctance concerns STIs. Could someone please recommend a thread on that issue (or better yet, send a link)?

 

Thank u!

[roamingguy 300291]

I've met a lot of people in relationships who are lonely, and some people who are single, like myself, who aren't lonely. Lonely and being alone are two different things.

But seeing SP's I'll admit is a substitute for dating for me now. But the dating game didn't work out for me. And there was a point where I gave up on dating. But I still missed the companionship of women. It took three years from my last date to seeing a SP. And seeing a professional companion provided female companionship without the strings attached in dating and a relationship. Some of the ladies have become trusted friends, friends as close as civilian friends. But at my age (53) it isn't hard to keep boundaries clear, remembering at it's very core, it still is a business relationship, albeit a very unique, intimate business relationship. But for someone younger, less life experience, it could be difficult to remember that the SP/Client relationship is at it's core a business relationship, and not a conventional date.

 

 

Thanks to everyone for their words of wisdom/advice...

 

As I've said earlier, part of my reluctance concerns STIs. Could someone please recommend a thread on that issue (or better yet, send a link)?

 

Thank u!

 

Well this topic is sort of a hijack of your original post. But that said, here goes

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=171932&highlight=STI%2FSTD%27s

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=141071&highlight=STI%2FSTD%27s

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=104685&highlight=STI%2FSTD%27s

 

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=103179&highlight=STI%2FSTD%27s

 

Just a few threads on the topic, if you use the search feature you can dig up even more threads on the subject

As for STD/STI risks, well the risk for STD/STI's comes from sex

Not from sex with escorts. And in my experience the ladies I've seen in this lifestyle are religious about safe sex.

The only way to ensure you haven't contracted any STD/STI is through regular testing. Because you only take your partner's word, and she/he may have taken other partner's word that they are safe. Testing is the only way to ensure you are STD/STI free or if not, get treated

Finally, if STD/STI's are a real concern, they can occur from sex with SP's/the girl (or guy) at the bar/dating/one night stand/extramarital affair/and given there are extramarital affairs, sex with wife/husband/SO

So if STD's/STI's a concern, really, truthfully, abstain from sex

And remember safe sex practices are risk reduction, not risk elimination

 

A rambling

 

RG

[carlosage 1004]

Thanks roamingguy!

 

My friend that I've confided in has had me a bit freaked. I do understand that SPs are not street walkers or toothless crack whores...LOL

 

Additional Comments:

I should elaborate on the previous comment by saying that I have heard that SPs are usually regularly tested. A person in the medical field told me that once for some reason...

[Ice4fun 78396]

Loneliness is kind of a funny thing.... long weekend... lots of family home...people all around and yet that is when you can feel the most lonely.... loneliness is not about the absence of people around you even if it's people you care for.... it's about that feeling of connection or about what or who is missing.

 

Just my opinion.

[carlosage 1004]

Thanks everyone!

 

I haven't contacted any SP at this point, as I was wrestling with some stuff as I mentioned in previous posts (STIs/STDs, stigma, and explaining to a future partner that I've seen as SP). I'm starting to come around to thinking that, if I do it, I am the one in control and it is my business. I am close to contacting someone for an appointment.

 

Not to go into too much detail, but at this point, what I have in mind would carry virtually no health risk, could do something I've always thought about, and could help e build more confidence with women and get my groove back...

[piano8950 32577]

Since the topic is on loneliness, I just would like to share one option for those who are feeling alone.

The Distress Centre of Ottawa

 

I'm not knocking meeting SPs as a method to combat loneliness. However, in times where an SP is not available, or money is tight, calling the distress centre is free, and always available.

 

The people who answer the phone go through rigorous training. If you are feeling overwhelmed, alone, sad, angry, or just bored, please call these people. For those outside Ottawa, there are distress centres all over Canada. You can find their number on google by searching "Distress Centre <Your town/city>".

[carlosage 1004]

Anyone care to give some words of wisdom for a guy who could very well have his first encounter with an SP in the near future?

 

I'm thinking of it not so much as a way to relieve loneliness (but it could help), but as a way to help regain my confidence with the ladies...

 

Thanks

[piano8950 32577]

I talked about this...kinda

[carlosage 1004]

piano8950

 

I just read about your experience.

 

I'm glad that you have no regrets! Good for you.

 

Part of what is holding me back right now is a seed that a good friend planted in my head. Is your experience something that you feel the need to keep to yourself? In other words, if you find a partner and have a serious relationship, is this something that you'd feel the need to tell her as part of your history OR keep it from her?

 

Thanks and good 4 u!

[Phaedrus 209521]

Part of what is holding me back right now is a seed that a good friend planted in my head. Is your experience something that you feel the need to keep to yourself? In other words, if you find a partner and have a serious relationship, is this something that you'd feel the need to tell her as part of your history OR keep it from her?

 

That would probably depend on the subsequent partner and relationship, so I don't see that there's any definitive answer anyone can give you right now.

 

But having said that... none of us here are teenagers any more. There comes a point in your life when you know that any new relationship is going to be with someone who has a past, who has done things with other people... and you many never know everything. You may well never want to know everything. Is it not enough that people have exes, and possibly kids from former relationships, and whatever else? Provided nobody's bringing a STI to the game, does it really matter whether your new partner has had only one previously, or a thousand? Or whether an envelope containing money may have been sitting on a table at any point? I don't see how it's rational to worry about these things.

 

Of course, people aren't always rational :)

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

My words of wisdom are that any potential romantic partners, if they are good for you, will look at your past encounters, relationships, flings as being in the past. If they are someone who is so judgmental as to turn on you because you used an SP for whatever reason, that gives you an idea of who they are inside. You are only responsible for yourself at this point in time, focus on the present and leave the future to work itself out.

[TheRiddlerMan 872]

Once upon a time I would have said yes, you should be honest and tell her about your past. As the years have passed though, I've come to realize that some skeletons should remain buried. Attitudes towards sex workers may be changing, but johns remain a despised group. In most cases, you'll be seen either as not much better than a sex offender and/or too pathetic to make it with a woman without paying her. I would strongly advise caution in future relationships, and keep in mind that if you tell someone and it ends badly, you've given them a weapon to hold over your head.

 

 

piano8950

 

I just read about your experience.

 

I'm glad that you have no regrets! Good for you.

 

Part of what is holding me back right now is a seed that a good friend planted in my head. Is your experience something that you feel the need to keep to yourself? In other words, if you find a partner and have a serious relationship, is this something that you'd feel the need to tell her as part of your history OR keep it from her?

 

Thanks and good 4 u!

[carlosage 1004]

Thanks again people.

 

For what it's worth, I am less concerned about STIs...Although I'd surely plan on playing it safe. To any SPs: Am I safe in thinking that SPs (for the most part) exercise similar safety measures as SPs in Nevada (where it is legal)?

 

I'm thinking that I'd be a "client" and the acts would be mutually agreed upon.

 

I'm also thinking that if I ever end up in a serious relationship, I may not have to disclose EVERYTHING. In my mind, hooking up with an SP is not much different than hooking up with a random chick in a bar. I would not want to know about every detail of my future girlfriend (or whatever) as long as protection was used.

 

To let a cat out of the bag, two ladies I'm considering contacting are Cristy Curves or Nikki Menage...I've looked @ their sites frequently over the last several months...

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

Both ladies come highly recommended. I would say to take your conversations off this thread and take them to the ladies to find out specifically if they provide what you want and need. Now that you have it narrowed down, they are the only ones who can answer your questions and reassure you of what you can expect.

 

Good luck!

[CristyCurves 169032]

First I must say thank you Carlosage, I had missed this thread and wasn't aware of your choices:) To answer your questions and speaking from a loners, woman's and companions point of view, yes we get lonely and one shouldn't be ashamed to admit it.

I believe human beings need to be nurtured, interactive, touched and feel loved most of all. To know there is someone on this planet that has their best interests at heart. Without any of that it can be a very lonely place. Interaction with another person can certainly help appease loneliness, even when and especially if, that person is a stranger. Everyone's needs are unique. Everyone's loneliness is different. For some, seeing a paid companion could most certainly help. Paid companionship can be very fulfilling, it satisfies my lonely times. My loneliness comes from a need of male attention, and a need to be very open with someone, to be able to express the side of me I feel the need to hide from those I interact with daily.

It's nice to share time with someone who wants to have fun, to meet someone new, to feel no pressures, to just let go without judgement or commitment.

For a gentleman I think it's a wonderful opportunity as many of the ladies in this profession are so nurturing, non-judgemental, giving, caring human beings, part time therapists actually:) Who truly want to make another human being feel good while in their company.

Now some may require more than this, they may need this on a continuing basis, a full time monogamous relationship, so seeing a companion may make feeling lonely, "lonelier" as they might continue to crave that attention.

Only you know if this would work for you. We all have our own answers sometimes we just aren't asking ourselves the right questions.

To answer your other question about divulging your "secret", should you fulfill it. That again is a decision only you can make. We all share what we want others to know and we all have to be our own judges as to how much that should be. Take the opinions of others lightly, listen but don't let what someone else thinks or does form yours, only you knows what is best for you. Sometimes you just have to take more time to think on it to gain your answer.

As far as worrying about contracting something, you're as likely to with any human being that you become intimate with. Being in a particular profession doesn't make someone more likely to be a carrier. It's responsible to be concerned. It's irresponsible to be judgemental, just do your research:) and be happy:) you'll know in time what is best for you.