Is this humilating prefer the answer from the ladies

[E.D. man 691]

Me and a female friend crossed the line sexually last night. She spent the night but really didn't want to. So I tried to come up with a compromise . I would walk her home. But she decide to stay.

I asked for the bill a little early as she wasn't quite done eating at breakfast She had maybe had two bites left and half a cup of coffe left.

Was I wrong asking for the bill. And is this humulating

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Well.....I personally would immediately get the hint! I would not be humiliated but I would be pretty pissed off that you couldn't wait 10 more minutes for me to finish. If she were observant, she would have felt the vibes! Perhaps she did but figured "what the heck I need to eat breakfast anyways." If you aren't planning on beginning a relationship with her than don't sweat it. If you do want to see her again, run out and buy her some flowers....Like NOW!

[Peachka 4334]

I don't really understand what the issue is here. It would likely take longer for you to get the bill & pay it than it would for her to finish. Besides, it is not like you got up & left.

[E.D. man 691]

We are havving a hard time with the relationship factor we want to be with each other, but were so use to leaning on each other about our past relationship.

She usually talks about her relationships and me mine. And I wasn't trying to get rid of her. I'm just so use to eating by myself in the past 10 years.

I want an open relationship with her but shes not sure if she wants that.

Like on the phone today after 14 years I found out what kind of movies and books she likes to read something we've never discussed before.

I do want to be with her but don't know how to handle it.

Its like she wanted sex last night, but wanted to leave after.

And thats something I don't want. If I get involved with someone and give my heart I want to wake up in the morning with the person. I don't want to feel like a hobbiest.

She wanted to leave after sex.

But I tried to compromise , by asking her if I could walk her home, but she stayed.

But I also knew if she left I wouldn't be able to be with he. I don't want to be a hobbiest in a relationship

I think were confused

 

Additional Comments:

I don't really understand what the issue is here. It would likely take longer for you to get the bill & pay it than it would for her to finish. Besides, it is not like you got up & left.

I was just paying the bill and going to stay

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Ok...I misread your intentions.

I think the only way this can move forward is with more discussion. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Ask her what she is looking for; be blunt. Inquire as to how she sees you fitting into her life. Get an answer, then you will know how to proceed. Ask if you ARE just a booty call or if she could have deeper feelings over time. Next, be 100% open and honest about what it is you expect! Explain that you want to wake up next to her in the morning. The only way people understand how another is feeling is by being completely up front. The worst that can happen is she will not want what you do....at least then you will know and can move on!

[E.D. man 691]

Ok...I misread your intentions.

I think the only way this can move forward is with more discussion. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Ask her what she is looking for; be blunt. Inquire as to how she sees you fitting into her life. Get an answer, then you will know how to proceed. Ask if you ARE just a booty call or if she could have deeper feelings over time. Next, be 100% open and honest about what it is you expect! Explain that you want to wake up next to her in the morning. The only way people understand how another is feeling is by being completely up front. The worst that can happen is she will not want what you do....at least then you will know and can move on!

Told her all that she says you know what I said and I I say you know what i want.

She says she wants a husband, i say I want a wifw, but I say i can't be a husband or romantic if I'm a secret.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

then I guess you need to choose what you want more! A wife or a secret life of visiting SP's. Only you can make that choice!

I wish you well and bid you to follow your heart, that is the only way to make sure you will be happy and satisfied with your decision.

[E.D. man 691]

then I guess you need to choose what you want more! A wife or a secret life of visiting SP's. Only you can make that choice!

I wish you well and bid you to follow your heart, that is the only way to make sure you will be happy and satisfied with your decision.

she's not an sp

[Newton 714]

Was I wrong asking for the bill. And is this humulating

 

The short answer is yes. Since you're good friends, she needs to let you know she's annoyed by it if she indeed was. A quick sorry from you should be the end of it.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I guess I am not understanding you. I did not think she was an SP. I thought that you meant you cannot commit to her if you are still seeing SP's.

Anyhow, if she did look pissed off, then apologize!

[Jackie James 215]

Humiliating??? :rolleyes:

Pfffttt, Not in the least.

 

Rude on your part?

Definitely.

[TracieGold 282]

If you allow me to say, I really think it is two different issues here.

The first one is that the relationship you and your lady have nurtured is "friendship"

The second one is that when a couple decides to become "husband and wife", friendship is NUMBER 1, with limits. One can not be courting someone and keep talking about the previous relationships...neither can one be offended or "humiliated" if you asked for the bill, unless you stood up and gave her the "looks" of "come on....don't be so slow"...which I doubt you did, right?

If your friendship is solid, as you seem to think, there is no room for petty feelings of humiliation or whatever....I would have laughed and ordered you more food for me to be able to continue eating breakfast,,,and of course both of us would have laughed.....particularly after I pushed you back in the chair if you ventured to stand up while I was munching.

 

I learned that when we care more for our own self esteem than for the other person's feelings, one is not in love....one is just looking at the wrong person.

A "loving relationship" is not an SP/client issue. If she wanted to leave after sex is because she wanted to be alone and may be noticed the effect on you and decided to stay.

Also, may be she did not feel well and did not want to tell you or worry you.

How many times we get paranoid and see tings that do not exist....? many, at least I do at times.

Dear ED, are you sure this is love???, may be is just the comfort of a good friendship?....

Best regards to you dear!!

Tracie G.:roll:

[Andee 220524]

Sounds simple to me - you want an open relationship, but after 14 years of friendship have been unable to tell her that?

 

But you're telling us she wants a more committed relationship.

 

You can't feel like a hobbyiest with her unless you paid her and since she's not an SP, then perhaps it's guilt about the fact you do want to continue hobby if you were with someone, hence the open relationship.

 

Since you both want different things, I think you need to be honest with her, and then she won't be wondering if it's a possibility.

 

Rude to ask for the bill before she's finished - I think so - it's like you're trying to hurry her up - or that's at least how I would take it.

 

As much as I am an SP and in the business of seeing attached men, I would never advocate someone starting a relationship with the intention of having a secret life on the side.

[E.D. man 691]

If you allow me to say, I really think it is two different issues here.

The first one is that the relationship you and your lady have nurtured is "friendship"

The second one is that when a couple decides to become "husband and wife", friendship is NUMBER 1, with limits. One can not be courting someone and keep talking about the previous relationships...neither can one be offended or "humiliated" if you asked for the bill, unless you stood up and gave her the "looks" of "come on....don't be so slow"...which I doubt you did, right?

If your friendship is solid, as you seem to think, there is no room for petty feelings of humiliation or whatever....I would have laughed and ordered you more food for me to be able to continue eating breakfast,,,and of course both of us would have laughed.....particularly after I pushed you back in the chair if you ventured to stand up while I was munching.

 

I learned that when we care more for our own self esteem than for the other person's feelings, one is not in love....one is just looking at the wrong person.

A "loving relationship" is not an SP/client issue. If she wanted to leave after sex is because she wanted to be alone and may be noticed the effect on you and decided to stay.

Also, may be she did not feel well and did not want to tell you or worry you.

How many times we get paranoid and see tings that do not exist....? many, at least I do at times.

Dear ED, are you sure this is love???, may be is just the comfort of a good friendship?....

Best regards to you dear!!

Tracie G.:roll:

I want to give her a 100 % committed relationship, the problem is she doesn't want an open relationship and she can't give me her all, and if I fuck up a little it becomes an issue.

But we just figured out though the only real things we have been talking about is each others past sex lives.

In my heart I don't think she ready and is putting up walls.

 

Additional Comments:

If you allow me to say, I really think it is two different issues here.

The first one is that the relationship you and your lady have nurtured is "friendship"

The second one is that when a couple decides to become "husband and wife", friendship is NUMBER 1, with limits. One can not be courting someone and keep talking about the previous relationships...neither can one be offended or "humiliated" if you asked for the bill, unless you stood up and gave her the "looks" of "come on....don't be so slow"...which I doubt you did, right?

If your friendship is solid, as you seem to think, there is no room for petty feelings of humiliation or whatever....I would have laughed and ordered you more food for me to be able to continue eating breakfast,,,and of course both of us would have laughed.....particularly after I pushed you back in the chair if you ventured to stand up while I was munching.

 

I learned that when we care more for our own self esteem than for the other person's feelings, one is not in love....one is just looking at the wrong person.

A "loving relationship" is not an SP/client issue. If she wanted to leave after sex is because she wanted to be alone and may be noticed the effect on you and decided to stay.

Also, may be she did not feel well and did not want to tell you or worry you.

How many times we get paranoid and see tings that do not exist....? many, at least I do at times.

Dear ED, are you sure this is love???, may be is just the comfort of a good friendship?....

Best regards to you dear!!

Tracie G.:roll:

I want to give her a 100 % committed relationship, the problem is she doesn't want an open relationship and she can't give me her all, and if I fuck up a little it becomes an issue.

But we just figured out though the only real things we have been talking about is each others past sex lives.

In my heart I don't think she ready and is putting up walls.