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Do you have a dirty mind?

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So from time to time I find myself saying something that just completely turns out to be dirty! Like....

 

I like my meat with the bone in!

 

or at the mechanics....

 

Is that all inclusive?

 

What have you said lately that makes you laugh on the inside while no one knows why?

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Guest *Ste***cque**

Dirty mind? Do you mean like when I ask my wife in front of the check out clerk at the grocery store "Do we have enough toilet paper for all this food?" or would you mean when we're out for dinner and I say to the waitress that my wife doesn't really care for meat but she sure likes the bone? :)

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At the lumber yard, I asked for sheets of plywood, the young girl behind the counter asked me what kind and I said "tongue and groove", and she was not aware it existed.

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I made burger meat the other day, girl asked if she could try one... I said jokingly, I would love to have my meat in her mouth.

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I was at Farm Boy getting something for lunch. The young girl asked me if I'd like a DUO !! I asked her who is the other one? She looked at me blankly then smiled !!

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Working retail and an attractive young woman walked up seeking my help:

 

"Have you got a sec?" she asked.

 

"I've got lots of secs" I replied.

 

She smiled appreciatively.

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Here is one where I work 2 cashiers share the same cash "top and bottom drawer".

 

One of the Ladies I work with said to me I like being on the top !! I looked at her I said that OK by me. She smiled !!

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asked my ex in the grocery store, She loved to eat cucumbers. So in front of some people innocently I asked her "Has that cucumber gone soft if so do you need new one" as I held up one of those long English cucumbers

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Guest D***el B***e

Ok! Here I go with another one ... Do you have a dirty mind?

 

Invagination!! ... know what that is? Aww come on now, give it a try ... think hard, I know you know it ... you're just about there ...

 

Invagination is simply the process of putting something inside something else (and in particular, a sword into a scabbard), or else is the proper name for turning something inside out. So if you say I'm going to invaginate that mother fucker, you're really referring to a sword! lol lol

 

So then what would be the opposite of invagination? You got it ... The opposite is called evagination!!!

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Guest D***el B***e

Do you have a dirty mind? If I tell you "stop jaculating"! what am I telling you? lol ... Oh stop that, you have a dirty mind ... to jaculate, is the act of throwing around or hurling suddenly, as in a dart or a javelin, lol lol gotcha!!!!

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"May I introduce you?"

 

I think that in French it is even worse: "Est-ce que je peux m'introduire?/Vous introduire?".

 

I even avoid to say these sentences...

Mia,

 

This is one of my favorite... When people use it in French such as: permet moi de t'introduire Mia.... I usually think: we'll that's gonna hurt ;)

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I had an employee that had fallen and struck her head on some ice. The next day when she came to work I asked "how's your head", to which she responded "my boy friend has never complained". I'm told that I blushed.

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At Red Lobster, the waitress was bringing plates for the waitress who took the order to the table next to us and she asked the patrons, "I have crabs", moment of silence, "who ordered crabs?".

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A little bit tongue in cheek but I once told a delivery person "You can put it anywhere you like it." Didn't really catch on to after they were gone, so I had myself a good laugh. Lol

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A female anchor on a local TV station asked the weatherman on air about some nasty weather that was supposed to come in over night. She said, "Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised last night?" Needless to say, the weatherman and the male anchor completely lost it for a few minutes and the female anchor wanted to crawl under the desk!

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