SamanthaEvans

It was cooler, with rain, today! After the first 100% rain-free July in Vancouver's recorded history, things are looking pretty dry and brittle, here. The temperatures have been good--around 23-24° most days. But much as we complain about the rain we get, we're also a little bit addicted to it, I think. High today was 19° with very light rain much of the time in my part of the city. It will be much the same tomorrow, then back to full sun on Sunday for Pride Day and the Monday holiday. Soooo much nicer than the summers I spent in the Toronto steam!

I just remembered that I wrote a longer post about cock rings awhile ago in which I describe the variety available, not including the metal ones.

 

When I wrote it, I often cleaned the silicone rings after using them, but I don't do that anymore. You can boil them or put them in the dishwasher. I decided that they weren't very expensive and that it would just be simpler to throw the used ones away. Probably bad for the environment or something, but sometimes simplicity is the best thing for me.

 

Someone recently brought a package of 3 rings that looked like the silicone ones but were actually made of gel. I don't use gel toys, ever, so I set them aside. These things are really inexpensive so I don't think there's any advantage to saving $2-3 for inferior, carcinogenic material made in a country with uncertain quality control.

I'm a serious animal lover, but I think my puppy is going to win awards for unexpected adorability. She's losing her baby teeth. Yesterday, I noticed one of them on the carpet where she'd been working on a Kong stuffed with food. I picked up the tooth and told her she was a good girl. A little while ago, she came over to me and nudged me with her nose. When I reached down to pet her, she dropped something on the floor. Another tooth! She was very proud of herself, wagging her tail and having trouble keeping all four paws on the floor because she really wanted to jump up and wiggle! So now I have two canine pre-molars on my desk. I wonder whether the Tooth Fairy might want them?

Il Re, I always keep a couple of packages of the three gel-type cock rings on hand to use with those who are interested in trying them. I start with the largest one and have the man put it on himself. I throw away the ring or rings we've used when the meeting ends. The package doesn't say that they're disposable, but I'm a zealot about cleanliness.

 

I agree with you about metal accessories. I can't imagine how those could be good!

 

There are leather ones that are adjustable. Some men prefer them.

 

I've had clients who used cock rings all the time and found that they were ideal for them.

 

However, I'm very picky about what comes in contact with my body. If a man wants to use a particular kind of cock ring, I usually suggest we go together to purchase it or that I buy it before we meet. Brand-new toys and accessories, still in the unopened package are great. But if I can't be certain where it may have been or how it may have been used before it met me, I will decline to make contact.

Anyway, I thought this discussion idea could take into account part Samantha, part mod/council, part provider and part client. Have a great night!

 

I just want to say, if it's not clear from what I've said already, that I don't consider this to be an adversarial, me vs. Mod or Council or anyone else kind of thing. I had an idea and wondered what people thought of it. The participation has been fantastic and constructive!

 

I don't know that Cerb needs to change, but we do come up against this question fairly often. Having a discussion is a good thing to do.

 

I am always concerned about credibility given to anonymous people. Always. Anons who think they can get to meet me without disclosing anything about themselves never get very far.

 

For whatever reason, companions who are younger than I am and usually new to the business contact me fairly regularly, wanting advice. I don't like to give advice too often, especially to people I don't know. But I do pay attention to the similarities in the stories I'm told.

 

I do agree with the importance of identifying the negative players on Mod's list--absolutely!

 

And I know that I and many other ladies here do encourage others to use the reporting system when they have trouble with a member. Some do. Some don't. It's hard to help people when they're not able to help themselves.

 

Anyway, I'm genuinely valuing this discussion and the many thoughtful responses.

I agree with you completely. The lack of recommendations does not indicate that you're a bad SP. From your posts, to be honest, I've always imagined you as the opposite.

 

But when I mean a long time, I meant much longer then 2 months. I'm not looking for pages of recommendations, just something that gives me a confident feeling seeing an SP. There is one that I've seen here for a while, (over a year or two based on her post history), but she has perhaps less then 10 recommendations. I honestly don't know what to make of it. She doesn't post here often, and does not have any website with additional information.

 

There might be many reasons for her low recommendation count that has nothing to do with bad experiences. But I can't be sure. I have taken a chance on a lady who had a no-review policy, but only because of her involvement online, and thankfully it did not backfire. I once saw a lady with glowing reviews, with a couple of negative feedbacks (on a different erb), and found that the experience to my disappointment was more like the latter. I gave her one more shot because it seemed based on the negative reviews I probably met her during a bad time or something. The second experience was much better.

 

I don't think there's much mystery about why there are few reviews or even recommendations for some women. Among others, women who are more than 35-40 years old, BBWs, curvy ladies who aren't quite BBWs but definitely aren't spinners, are reviewed far, far less frequently than women in their early to mid-20s. One might have the impression that we're not able to make a living or provide great experiences because of it, but it's not true. Many of us do very well, indeed, and often earn more annually than younger women who do face the pressure of enormous competition from other women with similar looks, experience and background.

 

This is one of the reasons I am ambivalent about reviews in general. While a lot of men say that they write in order to express gratitude for the time they spent with a lady, and to encourage others to meet her and perhaps enjoy a great experience, too, it's also abundantly clear that a great many men feel that having spent time with a gorgeous young woman says something about who they are, as men, and, recognizing that every companion turns away many inquirers, they want other men to know that they made the grade, her grade. Reporting that they've had a lovely evening with a woman in her 40s or 50s, no matter how stunning, cultured and educated she may be, doesn't earn those men the same boost to their reputation among other online clients, or to their own egos.

 

There is nothing easy or simple about working in our profession. I think that it is particularly trying for young women who face enormous pressure and manipulation precisely because of their youth and beauty. They are the most objectified, dehumanized women in our industry, often feeling over-valued for their looks and unappreciated for their character and personality while being preyed upon because of their inexperience. With high competition, reviews do matter because they may be the critical factor that sets one lady apart from another equally beautiful woman. Men know this and exploit it, promising stellar reviews or threatening to write bad ones in order to create some advantage for themselves.

 

A sweet and kind 24 year-old woman contacted me a couple of weeks ago, wanting someone to talk to. She was feeling panicked because, after working for a year, she's no longer viewed as a fresh, sweet young lady, but as someone who's been around awhile. It's harder for her to find the kinds of clients she prefers. She'd had one appointment in the three weeks before she wrote to me. She has a full-time day job with great advancement potential, but it's too soon to expect a fantastic income from that work. This wouldn't be a problem but her mother has terminal breast cancer, isn't sick enough to be in hospital or hospice yet needs to have someone with her full-time. She wants her mother to be comfortable and paying for her care is an enormous burden that she recognizes will end only when her mother dies. Her father is gone, she has no siblings and no other family to help. Someone had responded to an ad and was pressuring her to take a major cut in fees, promising to write a glowing review and saying that he was sure he could send other clients who would treat her well. She has so many concerns at the moment that she wasn't able to recognize that he was a pimp and not someone she should haggle with. Her new worry is that, if she turns this man away, he may write a bad review about her.

 

I've thrown out simple ideas that may or may not work. But if it does come about, I'd like a system that ladies can be comfortable with. Frankly, I'd want the system to be setup in such a way to expose those women who are putting a bad name to the profession, and highlighting those women who go above and beyond.

I appreciate your thoughts, piano. I agree that we need to do as much as possible to expose the bait-and-switch schemes and other negative practices. Directing attention to the ladies who are true professionals and valuable members of the community is also important, though it hasn't worked as well as one might hope. For example, the Member's Choice awards are no longer being offered after having been hijacked a couple of years ago. Recognition could be awarded to point out ladies with great reputations on the board or those who have been thanked many, many times, but I'm not sure that would satisfy everyone. None of the ladies in the top 10 for reputation are under 35, for example. Given how many feel about the "best body parts" threads, I would be very surprised if the ladies in general would appreciate beauty contests, either.

 

It's a worthwhile discussion.

 

Additional Comments:

@Samantha and Bianca, My take on this possibility, and don't get me wrong I'm not trying to be negative about it...

 

Here is why a possible guy's section may not fly,if we look at status of a member current standards.

 

a) He joins in August 2013 by November 2013 he could conceivably have a granted status by merely posting posts in i.e. "Song threads" "Best Bums" "Fine Lingerie" you get my understanding now where he could give really nothing back within the community/rec's other general discussions and a Sp would know very little about him. The posting can be easily done, as we see it week to week.

 

b) There is already A LOT of long time members that have been lurking, and now knowing that there might be another area for men to review, could lead as what Samantha stated above, a lady being pressured into something she does not want to do,by pressure tactics.

 

A lady that may have 1-2 rec's here is not exactly the end of the world for her, as Bianca stated some of her clients simply don't post on Cerb, in fact I know a couple of ladies that advertise on EC and have lots of clients, and they don't belong to Cerb.

 

Pete, I absolutely agree with you. Thanks for bringing this up and showing how easy it is to work the numbers, so to speak, if that's what someone wants to do.

 

I also agree that recommendations and reviews don't always mean as much as we may think. The simple fact is that most men never write them. They may lurk in the forums, looking for companionship, but after that, they keep to themselves. In addition, many, many men don't even know that review boards exist, let alone have the desire to participate in them in any major way.

 

I also agree with you about Cowboy Kenny's work exposing the scam artists and bait-and-switch operators.

Now, a few years ago I pitched the idea of a MENS area just like we have for the SP ONLY area.

 

This would be the only area where negative comments are welcome and only by qualified members (an extension to the already existing bait and switch and dangerous encounters warning area of each city).

 

If the area was PRIVATE I would make sure the general population of the site knew about it so that it gives everyone something to work for and encourage contributions.

 

My idea was instead of verified by ID or CREDIT CARD or a PAID AREA (I don't think that would fly here in canada) but they EARN the right to get into this area by contributing to the site.

 

To make it even more secure we could help the ladies and the guys both by creating a SP ONLY verification system for the guys. I would also suggest a system where the ladies who have SP ONLY access (Verified) could also VERIFY a guy (some sort of thing on his profile where if 3 or more SP's click it then his account is VERIFIED (or even a rating system like BAD CLIENT, GOOD CLIENT, GREAT CLIENT, ABSOLUTE GENTLEMAN) and only verified SP's would be able to rate and see these ratings but if the guy gets verified by so many SP's he gains access to the VERIFIED MEMBERS area with access to the bad date info too? (again the ladies are already able to do this in social groups, in the SP ONLY area and in PM's so it's just making that easier for them if it was on each guys profile).

 

For the guys to gain access we could have it as a level promotion (100 or even 500 posts and a member for at least 6 months before they graduate into that area) basically the ELITE member status or SENIOR MEMBER status this way they have time to see what cerb is all about, can't create an account here with the intention of slandering someone and also once they work that hard at building a reputation they don't want to risk loosing it by abusing this privilege. If someone was to gain access then be banned and sneak back onto the site they would need to start from scratch to earn that level back (so it's something more to loose as well so it would cut down on abuse a lot)

 

Mod, thanks for outlining your thoughts about this general topic. It's helpful to have your view of what's possible here at Cerb.

 

I really don't know if there is a best way to qualify someone to have the right to post negative reviews, here. My original idea has centered on the problem of anonymity which I do believe encourages some very negative, dangerous and destructive behaviour. While earning the right to more privileges sounds reasonable, and would be in many cases, we have had long-time members with high post-counts, some of whom had received awards from the membership, who had to be permanently banned from the site because of serious misconduct. And, time-consuming as it is, there are men who do bide their time, engage in discussions, post frequently and make a reasonable contribution to Cerb only to use their perceived status as a means of pressuring companions to provide free services or to engage in activities they didn't want to be doing.

 

Younger women and those who are new to the industry or who have recently joined Cerb are particularly susceptible to this kind of pressure, particularly if they believe that a good review is essential or that their earning capacity can be seriously damaged if they have a bad reputation circulated in the private groups here.

 

Well-established, reputable ladies are not immune to harassment, either. I've recently had a very troubling situation with someone who seemed to think that being able to frighten or hurt Samantha Evans would be an accomplishment he could be proud of.

 

We regularly see threads started by members purporting to be concerned about something that they say they experienced with a companion who, for the sake of discretion, they don't identify. I know that I'm not the only one who takes a jaundiced view of such threads. I'm certain that the original posters receive a flurry of PMs asking about the identity of the woman referred to.

 

I also have concerns about ladies being pressured to verify clients. Positive statements are never a problem, but who will be the first one to issue a warning or a cautionary note? Clients know who they've seen. Women are often reluctant to complain about even significant amounts of violence, harassment, theft and interference because of their legitimate fear of retaliation. And while it is extremely difficult to point to even a handful of cases where a paid companion has stalked a client or caused harm in his personal life or employment, unfortunately that kind of thing is so common that we ladies spend a significant amount of time supporting one another, sharing ideas and resources to help protect each other.

 

Again, where anonymity is available, people will use it to their own destructive ends.

 

Just my concerns.....

Fantastic! I have no idea how that box was unchecked, but many thanks for the help!

This is a minor matter, but I notice this morning that in the "Comments" underneath posts, I don't see the names of people who have posted Thanks or Comments, just a vertical green bar that's maybe 5px wide. I like seeing the names!

My biggest concern is that this system would essentially allow members to buy credibility. Should I offer up my information and subscription fee my word is now somehow stronger than one who doesn't? I think that might be a slippery slope.

 

For example, if I were to sign up but Old Dog or Roamingguy chose not to does my opinion somehow carry more weight than theirs?

 

Well, yes. Insofar as credibility is at least partially grounded in a person's real identity rather than a handle and an anonymous e-mail address, this system would allow members to buy credibility. The corollary is that anonymous members' credibility would decline. However much anyone will weigh the relative merits of opinions is difficult to say. History is meaningful. Good sense and a good heart are also meaningful

 

I agree with the points Nathalie brought up about screening issues, although an SP would not obligated to accept the board verified client, you will still get a small but vocal group of these paid members that will expect their subscription entitles them to skip this screening. Sadly no amount of disclaimers or terms of contract will prevent those guys from asking, pestering or annoying the ladies to avoid the screening process - for many it will be nothing more than refusal on principle. These time vampires may be very small in number but suck up a disproportionate amount of time.

 

This is true. However, such people tend to claim entitlements to real or imagined privileges already. We deal with perennial pests and irritating prospective clients all the time as it is. In the end, if a companion decides that this proposed verification is all the screening she needs to do to feel safe, that's up to her. I don't think there is a system that will guarantee that a prospective client will be able to see the companion of his choice. Our decisions about who we will entertain are as individual as we are. I have declined meetings with men who have passed my objective screening requirements without difficulty because for reasons that may be difficult for me to pinpoint I simply don't feel that we would be compatible in ways that matter to me. I've also imagined that others would be fantastic guests only to find to my dismay that they were not.

 

In terms of negative reviews, I would not want the ability to write them nor would I like to read anyone else's negative reviews. My problem with negative reviews are that they highly subjective and may still be written out of spite. Mind you if the person has registered they may not be as vulgar, rude or over the top in their negative review but an undeserved negative review is still undeserved. If negative reviews were allowed would the ladies have an opportunity to set the record straight or give their side.

 

I guess at the end of the day I like the positive atmosphere that CERB has fostered and would not like that to change.

I am NOT advocating adopting a tolerance for negative reviews. I hate them. But it may be that Cerb will need to find ways to relax its policy at some point. If that happens, how might we safeguard the tone and atmosphere many of us have worked hard to support?

 

I agree with you that a verified member might be less likely to write vulgar material. I certainly expect that the bulk of such commentary would be provided by anons who have no investment in positive atmosphere or reasoned engagement.

 

It could be that only certain kinds of negativity would be allowed. Perhaps a review may include boxes to click indicating whether the lady's photographs are real, whether her incall location is clean and private--things like that. Perhaps Cerb might continue to remove negative additional commentary. I'm not sure what would genuinely be helpful; that's something that's worth a broader conversation.

 

I do think that many people find the other *erb boards to be troubling, at best, yet they participate on them because they have a huge readership. I have met good clients from one of those boards, but I have only rarely posted anything other than ads there.

I haven't thought this through completely. There are many things that should be considered and so I think a good discussion can only be helpful if my idea has much merit at all. It may not! But it's been on my mind for quite awhile, so I thought it could be worth talking about.

 

Thank you, Samantha, for bringing up this topic. It's a topic which deserves review and thoughtful discussion.

 

You mentioned a screening benefit to SPs for those clients who request an appointment and have a verified membership. What would the benefit be, exactly? Would it potentially deter verified members from providing SPs with information they require for their own independent screening? For example, if verified members provide CERB with their real name and other verifiable personal information, perhaps they will be reluctant to provide it to an SP who may/may not be less reliable?

 

I can't imagine why board verification would replace a companion's own screening requirements. I'm sure that some verified members might think that it's better to disclose their information to the board management than to a paid companion, but that would be their right. Whether a lady would decide to see a man under those circumstances would be up to her, as well. Knowledgeable gentlemen should recognize how exceedingly rare it is for a paid companion to reveal their clients' identities to anyone. When men have been outed in the US, it's often because the police have acquired a copy of a Madam's black book, not because the SPs involved have reported them.

 

There are other websites that work like this. Perhaps some escorts who also use those websites can provide insight on this question (i.e p411). I worry because some SPs might feel pressured to see a client simply because he's paid for a verified membership and then they will have little recourse if something bad happens.

There are three major verification sites. I haven't found any references to their databases being compromised, which is reassuring. To become a member of one of those sites requires providing personal information that can be verified by the site OR references from other companions. They say that, once verified, they destroy the records. If that's true--and it probably is--all it means is that the individual gave the site information that was proven to be true and accurate. It doesn't mean that he gave accurate information to an SP.

 

I've had clients who cited membership numbers for P411 and Date Check, but they were all Americans and they also gave me personal details at the same time, which I checked out myself. I didn't feel pressured to accept them as clients, however. Their complete disclosure does matter to me, though, and I did see each of them at least once.

 

Given the above situation, you suggest the information might be disclosed if the client is proven to be dangerous. I wonder what it means, exactly, to be proven as dangerous. Would the CERB council decide this? I ask because sexual assault is such a contentious issue (i.e. what is and isn't assault, who is to 'blame', what he said versus what she said, etc.). It would be awful, absolutely awful, to be doubted in these types of circumstances. It would be equally awful to have to 'prove' to CERB that I was assaulted, or felt violated, or robbed, in order to get the necessary information I need to protect myself.

I agree! I don't think it would be up to Mod or the Council to decide whether an allegation was likely to be true or not, or what is or is not assault. However, if the lady has filed a police report and if the police lay charges, that would be significant.

 

I am however, thankful that this forum is a positive zone in an otherwise potentially negative industry.

 

The moment that cerb lets negative reviews, is the day I close my account. I can't stand seeing the crap on some sites. I weep for those that are dragged through the mud because some guy decides he wants to "make that bitch pay".

 

Meaghan, I'm not sure how much difference reviews actually make, to be honest. There are few reviews available for many of us, myself included, largely because we're older women, curvier or don't conform to the model stereotype that some review board members seem to favour. Be that as it may, it's more than possible to have a lucrative career without a slew of reviews.

 

I hate the negative stuff, too. Whether Cerb is interested in altering its policy I can't say, but if there was a way to be sure that posted reviews were written by people whose membership shows that they're genuinely willing to stand behind what they say, that could give their reviews a type of credibility that's not available anywhere else on the Internet as far as I can see. What concerns me most is when some group of anonymous board members decide to launch a vendetta against a well-reviewed lady, often in the explicit determination to ruin her reputation. I have known several cases like this where the SP had no choice but to retire her identity and start over again, building a new one from the ground up, which is, as we know, a slow and difficult process. In the situations I know about, the women had not done anything wrong. They were simply well-known and highly-reviewed and that's what made them targets. Meanwhile, there are no consequences for the anons.

My father died when I was a child and my relationship with my mother was never very good. She died seven years ago. To my great delight, after I returned to Vancouver five years ago, I became close to a married couple who are old enough to be my parents. They're vibrant, independent, creative and good, good people who have been a font of wisdom and perspective for me. I've felt as though I've had a second chance at having parents and building healthy, solid adult relationships with them.

 

Last fall, the man's father had a catastrophic fall that resulted in a serious brain injury from which she is still recovering. Her progress has been almost miraculous. From the care and attention her brother and sister-in-law have given her, I've seen that it truly is possible to love someone into wellness. Many people, lacking such dedicated family members, would not have been as fortunate.

 

This afternoon, my adopted mother called to say that she has a tumor in her breast. It's been scanned and biopsied. The doctor says that there's a 50% chance that it's cancer, but they're waiting for the lab reports in a few more days. At the very least, she will have to have surgery to have the thing removed, perhaps sometime next week or the week after that. If it's cancer, there will be a lot of decisions to make. She's 79 years old.

 

She wanted me to help her plan how to tell her children and friends. And so we talked.

 

And I was good, I think, the whole time. I'm usually able to be "the strong one."

 

But right now.... I'm not.

I just want to underscore the importance of recognizing and staying within your own boundaries. If you're not comfortable with this scenario, there's no reason for you to go through with it.

 

That said, many men come to us to explore or engage in things that just aren't available to them with other partners, or that they're nervous raising with them. Erotic play can take many, many forms but not everyone's comfort level or repertoire is the same.

It looks like this was a round-up of street-based sex workers, possibly due to neighbourhood complaints and probably also because it was fairly easy for the police to observe, and probably film, a lot of what was going on.

I'm afraid I simply don't see how asking for discounts from SPs could possibly work out to my advantage in the long run, so I'd be grateful if someone could explain how it works.

 

Phaedrus, my friend, you don't see it because your interests are very different.

 

Those who insist that it's good to haggle with or put pressure on us to cut them a special deal aren't really interested in negotiating as much as they're interested in control overall. In my experience, the question is not so much about negotiation as it is about who sets the fee? Who has the right to decide what a lady's time and intimate companionship is worth?

 

Underneath this question are a host of control issues. Who decides what is or is not acceptable; what we will or won't do; what we should or should not expect; how we're going to work, where and when; how many people we may entertain and under what conditions; what risks we should accept as unavoidable for ourselves; how much our safety and security may be risked; what we should expect from neighbours, friends, family, our community if we're discovered to be paid companions--these and many other related things are all about the rights that we women have to determine our own actions.

 

Some men don't accept that we have a right to as much autonomy and integrity of ourselves as persons as they are and so they want to control us, to limit us, to deny, dehumanize, depersonalize, degrade and demean us beginning with our essential worth as human beings.

 

Those men never make good clients. As Sandi pointed out, above, by announcing that they expect special considerations, they communicate that they expect to be the ones who control their time with us and everything that happens in it.

 

It's not about the fee. It's about our right to make choices and decisions that could result in them not getting what they want, on their terms, when they want it.

Convincing someone to leave their residence (where it's legal to see a prostitute) and go to a brothel (where it's not legal to see a prostitute) is a crime. If someone is going to commit an illegal act, he's not entitled to attempt to convince, pressure or inveigle someone else to do it, too.

 

I don't think this is the same thing as writing a recommendation on a review board.

 

Recommendations are written by anonymous individuals for many reasons. It is impossible to know whether any of the things the writer describes actually took place or whether his description of events is accurate. It's also impossible to know whether the writer actually saw the person he appears to be reviewing, or not. The review may be written by someone anxious to gain credibility on a board. On some boards, a man can be an unpaid member if and only if he contributes reviews, otherwise he has to pay a membership fee. That gives rise to an enormous number of fake reviews from men who want to save a few dollars so that they can read the rest of the content on the board.

 

That's important: readers of these reviews actively choose to find and read them. In many respects, reviews are a form of advertising that clients engage in for escorts.

 

And so, given that the writers are anonymous and often extremely difficult to trace, and given that participation in or readership of these boards is a voluntary choice, I don't think there's anything to worry about most of the time.

 

"Most of the time" excludes making threats, divulging private information and other such things that could reasonably compromise an escort's safety and well-being. I don't think it would be a good idea to try doing anything like that and expect to get away with it!

To make a general statement that there may be "working sp's known to have HIV" is to somewhat paint all providers with a pretty broad brush, and not an accurate assessment in my view.

 

I NEVER believe such things. Never. Is it at all reasonable to think that, if someone does have HIV or any other sexually transmissible infection, they would disclose it, particularly to another sex worker? How can anyone other than a person's health care team, know for certain that another person has an infection? It's just so highly unlikely as to be unbelievable.

 

That said, it is perfectly possible that any sex worker may have an STI just as it's entirely reasonable for us to consider that any client with whom we make contact may be infected. I don't expect to know anyone's health status other than my own and I know that even that is just a snapshot of my status when I was tested. Most men never get tested unless they're having unpleasant symptoms; they just assume that they're infection-free.

 

The safest thing is always to assume that another person has an infection you don't want to contract and to take appropriate measures to ensure that you don't.

 

Rumours about paid companions having infections generally come from other companions who fear the competition or from clients who are angry for some reason, such as having been turned down or having had a less-than-stellar experience. In both cases, the rumour is really an attempt to limit or eliminate the companion's opportunities to make a living. They are assaults and cannot be taken as factual statements from unbiased sources.

Bawdy houses and brothels are illegal in Canada.

 

But the laws pertaining to them may change if the Supreme Court of Canada upholds the Ontario Court of Appeal decision or, even better, endorses the Superior Court of Justice decision of Justice Himmel in October 2010.

 

If it becomes legal to operate a brothel in Canada, there's no way to be certain what those brothels will be like. In most major cities, there are sex workers who are very interested in running brothels and who have been engaged in discussions with city officials about zoning, by-laws, regulations and related matters.

 

Many people imagine brothels along the lines of the things portrayed in Old West movies or The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Others are simply interested in a number of women being able to share a house or an apartment for their work. Some people have proposed owning small apartment buildings in which sex workers would work in private suites. There are a lot of other possibilities. Most of us here would be pleased to be without the threat of prosecution while we continue to work much as we have for years.

 

Not everyone wants to work in a publicly-known brothel. Many of us are highly protective of our privacy and would not want to risk compromising it. Women who have worked as independents for a long time may not be interested in giving up any degree of control over their work, workplace and general environment. But quite a few ladies want the companionship, mutual support and enhanced safety that are likely to be part of working together.

 

Men who visit paid companions also seem to have a wide range of preferences. Some say that they would be happy to go to a publicly-known brothel. Others say that they prefer to keep their private life strictly private.

 

I think that everyone who values the safety factor that legal brothels may offer should recognize that this will probably come with a price. Security considerations are heightened anywhere people are engaging in intimate activity. Screening, including providing full identification, will surely be required of publicly-known brothels, at least initially.

I've had policies about deposits and cancellation fees for years with very few problems. It does make a difference that I'm an established professional companion: many of my guests come to see me because they know that I'm not some newbie who may not be willing to work or may not be as discrete and considerate as she should be.

 

I don't take last-minute appointments. Same-day opportunities may be available to established clients, but there's never a guarantee. A new client might get to see me in a couple of days if we establish a good rapport very quickly, but I give first priority to returning visitors and may not be available without a bit more notice. I often book anywhere from a week or two to several months in advance and most of these engagements are several hours long. If someone is coming from out of town and booking well ahead of their visit, I do ask for a deposit. I require deposits from anyone who books long engagements--perhaps they want to meet daily for 3-4 days or a weekend.

 

Plans and circumstances change and I am cheerful about refunding deposits when such things happen, although that's rare. I have had clients who needed to re-schedule and have asked me to hold a deposit to be used against a future meeting. That's not a problem.

 

If someone in the Lower Mainland schedules a meeting with me and then cancels abruptly, I don't make a fuss about it, but the next time they want to book a meeting I will ask for a deposit. I've never had a problem with this.

 

I also think that things have to be taken on a case-by-case basis, as others have said. I'm not here to complicate anyone's life. If we're planning to meet tomorrow but your child is in an accident, your mother suddenly goes into hospital or you've had a car accident, I will understand. Life happens at the most inconvenient times and I prefer to be thought of as considerate, kind and understanding.

Meaghan is right, and the link is a good one. I suggest you poke around in the legal forum and read about what's been happening recently with challenges to the prostitution laws.

 

If your MA was raided, you would be at risk of being found in a brothel. However, if she's an independent, working from a residence on her own, in most parts of the country, there's very little risk of any police or legal activity as long as she's discrete, not keeping late hours or disturbing the neighbours. If she's really part of a micro-brothel, if she or anyone else there is an immigrant or a tourist who has come to Canada to work in the sex trade, the risk is greater. These days, there's interest in making sure that no one is being trafficked and in some places there's a lot of disapproval of the mostly-Asian micro-brothels that could result in police action. If this is a concern of yours, you might consider waiting to pay a visit to this MA after the summer is over--say, mid-September or later, after students have returned to university and most of the tourist sex workers have gone home.

I'm a little concerned about all the condoms in the glove compartment, but I know that all of you know that it's not a good place to keep them because of heat damage, so I won't mention that.

 

In my glove compartment there's a tiny watercolour paint box and a little sketchbook. There's also a large, very loud jingle bell that goes on my dog's harness when she's off-leash. It's supposed to let bears know that the dog is in the area but we rarely go anywhere near bears. I use it so that I know where she is when we're in the forest. (She really doesn't like it!)

I'm in Vancouver, which is one of the most beautiful cities in the world, period. What I love most about it is the ocean. No matter what kind of weather we're having, being near the water always lifts my heart. The waves on the shore are soothing. Watching the ships and sail boats is relaxing, too. I can't afford to own a home here, unfortunately. When I retire, I plan to live in the Gulf Islands where real estate is much more reasonably priced and the small-town feeling in the off season is wonderful.