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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/16/21 in all areas

  1. 14 points
    Hello Everyone,😘 I have been MIA for about 8 months on Social Media, I'm sorry! I'm doing great, staying Virus Free, Happy, Healthly here in France. Thank you for everyone that has reached out over the months.❤️I think about everyone often! I do miss you all. I will be making an update soon. In the mean time, will be on Lyla and Twitter more. Need to catch up and clean the rust off. I am backed up on my PM's & DM's(Twitter) but I will respond back to all of you. Hope Everyone is staying happy & safe. Katie xoxo's 💋
  2. 11 points
    Happy Sunday everyone! Sundays have turned into my favourite day because it's the day I get to publish interviews with our wonderful Lyla fam! Today's is with @cassiesteele. You may have seen her recommendations on here, or wonderfully written adverts. From this interview I'm sure you'll see why her Clients keep coming back for more (pun intended). Enjoy everyone and please remember to like and comment! ❤️ Q: Hey Cassie! It’s so great to have you as part of this series - you’ve been advertising on Lyla for some time and it’s great to get to know you better. Can you tell us about yourself? A: Hi! Thank you having me chat on here, I've read all of the other interviews and am glad I can share a bit about myself. I am 25, from NB originally but lived in Alberta for 5 years. I've been back for two years, I always worked in restaurants, I thrive on social interaction. I am bilingual, travelled a lot, 15 countries solo by 23, I’m quite adventurous. I have 3 yoga teacher certifications, I’m into health and fitness, currently doing more education in the health field. I am obsessed with dogs, if you meet me you’ll hear all about my little doggy who knows 10 tricks. I love my family, my closest friends and some family know what I do. I’m easy going down to earth and love having a good time. Q: So how long ago did you start escorting? Is that the first type of sex work you did? A: I’ve been doing sex work on and off for 4 years now, I always worked in hospitality, started in introductory positions in restaurants and worked up to managing in the two longest jobs I had. In between quitting those two places I would dabble in SW… Always loving doing this, the freedom of setting my own schedule, not working for someone above me. I tried camming a little at the very first, then did some free-styling in Calgary, that was a lot of fun. Started escorting loved it, went back to a restaurant for a couple years and finally quit that for good and did this full time. I’m happy with all the experiences I’ve had and all that I’ve learned. I do onlyfans and some other online work but my forte is definitely escorting and companionship. Q: You mentioned to me in a DM that you started out Indy, then went with an agency, now you’re back to being Indy. Can you tell me about these experiences? A: When I first started I had a friend from Toronto I met in AB, we went to Saskatchewan & Manitoba when Backpage was a thing and worked together. She taught me the ropes, how to be safe, how to chat with clients, everything but also said I gotta do it myself. Not to rely on others. I came back home worked at a restaurant again, realized that wasn’t sustainable, tried my previous relationship again, working at the restaurant I loved, again wasn’t fulfilling so I worked with an agency all in Calgary as I was just nervous to work independently for safety reasons. It was good money, I felt safe for the most part, but it was mismanaged, the owner was out for a profit and not for our complete safety and interests. I quit that after an uncle passed and she wasn’t understanding, was rude about me taking two weeks off to come home to visit family. I moved home to be near family two years ago after being in Alberta for 5 years, there was an “agency” in NB who I reached out to, it was an awful experience. I liked the girl who ran it, but they were not professional, it was overall demeaning and a terrible experience. After that I figured I've had enough, I know what I'm doing I need to be 100% independent. I put up an ad, some pics, thought I’d be able to tour then the pandemic hit. Chilled for a few months, started my twitter working in Fredericton then SJ and now here I am… Will have a website in the next few days! Being independent has been the best thing for me. Q: Can you tell me pros/cons of working with an agency? A: Pros are not having to do any of the admin work, I think some people don’t realize how much qualifications sex work truly requires, or how much administrative work it really is. Marketing, time management, communication skills, etc. Agencies alleviate all of that responsibility which allows a companion to solely focus on the date. Someone constantly communicating with you between calls, advertising for you, etc. Learning the ropes if you’re new. Cons are they take a cut of your cash, they sometimes pressure you into doing things you don’t want to, they can be selfish or unorganized. Once in Calgary I went to an outcall, knocked on the wrong door because she typed the address wrong. That was embarrassing. Could’ve been dangerous. Lack of screening, agencies typically don’t screen at all… That agency sent me somewhere once, where I paid for drivers, was sent to an address that was a random health facility that it was a text app and the person stopped replying. It was a big waste of my time. Was booked once where the client was extremely intoxicated, was an unsafe situation, the agency lady tried to say he sounded fine on the phone, but she was aware of regulars that were drug users or heavy drinkers whereas independently I won’t book these types of people for safety reasons. Definitely pros and cons, it’s good to start with one to get your feet wet in the industry, then learn how to run the show the way you want to. Q: Now I know from your recommendation thread that you have won the heart of a few Clients who just keep coming back for more! How many regulars would you say you have? Any shout outs? A: Can’t say for sure how many I have but a few… I visit SJ the most so that’s probably why I have quite a few who continue to keep seeing me there. It might help the borders are closed and there aren’t as many traveling ladies so I am a continuous option for NB men. I do get requests sometime from gents asking if I recommend any and it sucks that the ladies I would recommend the most are based out of NS. I hope to catch up with those ladies when borders open, I consider a few Lyla ladies legitimate friends. I have two regulars in particular who I would shout out I won’t say their names but they know who they are, one gent is quite active on Lyla and for 4-5 months he’s seen me twice weekly. It was like an inside joke of it being a running streak and when I took some time off our streak ended. Another isn’t super active but he’s on here, he’s been a big supporter. A couple others that found me off Leolist who treat me well. Through them I’ve been able to pay off debt and progress quite a bit in life I truly enjoy our relationships. I feel like I have boyfriends who help me pay my bills. Q: Do you prefer seeing regulars over new Clients? What are the pros and cons of both? A: I do… I just find it easier we can text each other hey I’m in SJ this day, want to come this time, ok cool. Ill always accept new dates as long as they are respectful and screen. Its fun and exciting to meet someone new, big part of why I like doing this is I've always had a fetish of hooking up with someone new… Great career for me lol. You know when you go out to a bar, find someone you vibe with, then go home fuck and have the best time? Its like that but now I get paid which is also a fetish. Might be weird but it turns me on being provided for/paid. I love seeing someone I know well, but I have had some regulars who push too far, they will text non stop and get mad when I'm spending time with family, don’t reply instantly which isn’t ok ever. Also a couple have asked for a discount after a couple dates which I find insulting… Or they’ll book and cancel because they figure I know them I’ll forgive it but where I didn’t require a deposit for them but it’s happened too much recently where I’ve been cancelled on and it wastes my time, isn’t nice. Q: Do you find that you have better experiences/connections the more you see a Client? A: Yes honestly, I can have a great time with someone who wants to try me once. But yeah I had someone who said it gets better each time, “you tell me what you like and don’t like….” they say how we keep learning each others passions. I like learning about someone, I've stopped into see someone at their work (they said it was ok lol), it made their day, the more we build a connection the more we know each other. I do feel special knowing someone wants to see me again and again, build that connection. Usually gents will see me a few times, sometimes its only once. Its cool I may not be everyone's cup of tea. And not everyone has the budget to see a lady frequently. Its all good with me. Q: Customer retention is important in any career - have you got any tips to help build meaningful connections to keep them coming back? A: Just care about someone genuinely. I try to be genuine in all aspects of my life. That's what matters most is genuinity. Even waitressing, I always cared about how my guests felt during their time with me. Nurture the relationship, if someone likes you they will come back. I'm sure I've pissed some people off or I have had some guys show up, not like how I look and left. That felt bad. Don’t let anyone step overboard, sometimes someone will try to overstep your boundaries but stay firm and true to who you are and care about your relationships you’ve built. Q: What benefits are there to having regular Clients? Do you tend to get more tips and gifts from them? A: I always appreciate seeing a familiar face. I still get nervous meeting someone new, a bit of performance anxiety if you will. I appreciate the consistent support of course. I enjoy feeling valued and cared for. I have gotten some really great gifts, and recently was tipped after someone came back to see me again as they said they had such a wonderful time the first time meeting me they wanted to give me a gift to show their appreciation. Someone I've seen since summer, he was sure to send screening promptly, has been respectful, we chat often, he sends me gift cards all the time I've saved up enough to buy a new bed and for Christmas he asked me if he could put together a bag of gifts for me, it was so thoughtful, also asked him for a flannel he often wore to our dates that I will wear a lot lol. Just tonight he sent me an amazon gift card, just to be sweet. When I visited Halifax the first time he sent me some cash to take myself out to dinner and chatted with me the whole way back to my hotel making sure I was safe. Truly considerate and generous men. Around Christmas I was gifted some outfits, sweets, things that genuinely interest me and shows my gents have gotten to know what I like and that they care. Q: Where have you found regular Clients? Do they tend to come through a specific website/forum/Twitter? A: Most are from leolist, Lyla or twitter. That’s where I advertise the most currently. I have a profile on tryst and vipfavours but I haven’t seen much traffic from those sites, but maybe in other cities they’re better there. I have a website being built and I’ll be changing my business model in the near future and hope my website helps getting more attention for me. I’m not sure if twitter helps me so much in finding clients but it helps verify that I’m legitimate and show a bit into my life regularly. Q: Has having regular Clients been beneficial throughout the Pandemic? A: It has big time. I had some debt that through a couple regulars I got it completely paid off. Such a relief. I’ve found finding an apartment for a permanent incall extremely difficult since the pandemic hit. It’s also been helpful having a few regulars that I see the most as I feel a little more comfortable and safe not seeing new people all the time and having to worry about exposure to the virus. It’s been great having their support and always nice to see a familiar face. Q: Thanks so much for providing this insight, Cassie. Is there anything else you’d like to add? A: No I'm good! I think I rambled on a bit but I’m happy to put a bit of my story out there and I do recognize I’m very lucky and privileged to be in my situation. I’m grateful for everyone that I meet but especially my regulars in NB here have been special to me. If anyone has anymore questions or would like to see more of me please contact me directly, check out my twitter and watch out for my website in the next week. Thank you for allowing me to chat here.
  3. 11 points
    Life circumstances has shifted my focus onto my personal life and to be there in a time of important need. Know that you are important to me and I'll be returning when the time is right. For this reason I need to step back completely from social media and I will not be responding to email and texts. I trust that you will understand. Wishing you all the best. I will be back soon xoxoxo Until then, Kisses 💋 Sasha
  4. 11 points
    You guys... I have a huge grin as I type this. I'm delighted to share this week's interview with @Kilt Boy. You may have seen him around on Lyla, often commenting on threads about strip clubs and the dance scene. But I had no idea about his fascinating history in the industry! He's also an incredible writer, a man after my own heart, and I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Q: Hey Kilt Boy! It’s great to have you answer a few questions. When I reached out to you for an interview you said you didn’t know if it’d be relevant/interesting but I totally disagree - I’m excited to get your take on a few things. So first of all, tell me about yourself. A: My favourite topic! Sure thing. I'm in my late 50's now. I have a good, steady, straight job and a good, steady, straight relationship. My life is pretty basic. I just bought my first pair of Crocs last month. See what I mean? Pretty boring. I run a little side business making things. I can't ever focus on only one thing, so I just do whatever the hell I want and see if people like it. Kind of like my life, I guess. I make (or have made) vanilla extract, cocktail bitters, personal lubricant, whisky rocks, hardwood chopsticks, weed tins, lamps, cat beds, dog sleds, and a long list of other odds and ends. I've taken orders and done custom work as well. I'm a problem solver and a tinkerer. I work with wood, stone, glass, electronics, concrete, metal, you name it. My introduction to this site was as a reviewer of exotic dancers. There are more than a few threads started by me in the dancer group. I love women. All kinds of women. Age, ethnicity, hair, size ... that shit don't matter to me. I've seen all kinds of really impressive wang up close. It never did anything for me. Q: Hey, crocs are great! Thanks for sharing this with us - excited to hear more! So I assumed you were a regular Client but I got that wrong - you actually used to be a stripper, is that right? A: Straight out of high school, yep. My family (on both sides) is so large that I couldn't date in the community I lived in without doing a blood test first to make sure we weren't related. I moved almost immediately after graduation to the nearest large metropolitan urban centre, sleeping on a friend's friend's couch. He was the one who introduced me to where he worked. He changed my entire personality in a month. I was getting positive feedback for the first time in my life, and it felt good. He helped me with my attitude and showed me how to move and to live. I owe him everything. Q: Can you give me a bit of background on your career? What types of sex work have you done and what prompted you to get into it? A: Oh, lord. Let me see now. My roommate worked at a club and said that I'd probably do well at it. I gave it a try and was hooked right away. My expenses were pretty low, and I was making some serious money for the first time in my life. I thought I had it made. I had a brief fling with a client (my first sexual experience) and she also became my first massage client. Though never having HAD sex, I certainly had thought about it a lot. I'd bought an amazing photo book on all kinds of massage techniques (Playboy's Art of Sensual Massage or something) and had been reading it for years, hoping for the day I'd be able to use it on someone. I tried it out on her and then she introduced me to some of her friends. And so on. And so on. I'd say about 20% of the time it was straight massage: the gold package. About half of those converted to the platinum package within a few sessions. The guys at the club got me into a few bachelorette parties, which were pretty wild. It wasn't really my scene, so that didn't last. It was just a bit TOO wild. Everything you've heard about bachelorette parties is true. We had a method for keeping things under control, but we were our own security and had to be careful. I tried doing some outcall work with some patrons from the club, but though the money was more than adequate, I wasn't enamoured of this either. A lot of guys would think that having sex and getting paid for it is a dream job. It is, at times, but the emptiness of it turned me off. I was a good enough actor to not let it show, I think. Sex is what got me into sex work. I was a virgin, working in a strip club. You can imagine what it was like when that news got out. I was a fairly attractive 18 year old, showcasing a buffet in front of a starving audience. I made so much money that first month. It was intoxicating and it drew me in. I think that this is what defined my ideas of sex and how I feel about it. Yes, I know that stripping is sex work. I've just always seen it as a gateway since it isn't supposed to include a sexual element. My opinion. Q: What were your Clients like? A: As you can imagine, it wasn't all rainbows and blowjobs. Clients ran the gamut from young to old, pretty to plain, stable to wacky. It's the same as the traditional SW/client situation, but with the roles reversed. You take the work that is presented to you, and you don't make a fuss. I will say that there was probably a higher percentage of clients who just wanted to talk; just needed to feel wanted by someone in a throwaway situation.. I got very good at that, very quickly. I wasn't a clock-watcher. A date was a date and took as long as they wanted. I was being paid for my time. I worked the day shift at the club, so I had my evenings free for this. Weekend jobs were the best. I was a terrific companion; very attentive and caring. Those were the traits that I found the most effective. You can't fake those, either. If you try to fake being attentive, you end up being attentive. I only ever worked with women. I wasn't even approached for couples. It wasn't part of the scene I was involved in. Men were discouraged from coming into our club, so the women I was dealing with were used to being alone or in small groups. Q: When did you stop? And do you mind me asking what made you stop? A: I worked as a stripper/body mechanic/SP for about 4 years. It was a great time in my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My last job was the night before Christmas, 1986. I woke up the next day and had a long think about things. I took stock of my mental state, finances, and opportunities and decided that it was a good time to get out. I knew going into it that I didn't want to be defined by what I was doing. I think I was pretty good at it, but wanted to get on with my life. I wanted to go to school. I wanted a stable relationship. I wanted to get a job and a house and a car and not worry about the insecurities inherent in what I was doing at the time. I said my goodbyes, some tearful, and moved on. Sharply. I went to the club a little while later and cleaned out my closet. I had a drink with a couple of regulars and that was it. I was comfortably set financially, so that made it easy. I took some time off to travel the Earth and inventory the continents and started school the next fall. Q: What are some things you learnt from being in the industry? A: I learned so much about myself. I was so naïve and confused when I started. Believe it or not, I hadn't had sex until after I was on the stage. I grew tall early in life and always felt gangly and awkward. I didn't fit in well with groups (or girls), so was a loner and had few friends. I didn't date. I didn't know how. Moving out, I had to learn EVERYTHING about life, and fast. There were some hard lessons, obviously, and some crying. Over that time I learned how to read people really well and become detached from the work. I also promised to never use my powers for evil. Seriously. I can pretty quickly figure out how people will react long before they do. I've been a student of human nature for my entire life. I let them do things their way so they can learn. I could manipulate a situation with that knowledge, but don't. It isn't fair, which is something I strongly believe in. Women and men aren't that different. The extreme differences are baked into our heads by society and without talking about things, we'll never see all the similarities. Communication is always the key. This is the greatest thing. Q: Some fantastic life lessons learnt, thank you. That’s enough about the past, let’s focus on the present. How much are you involved in the industry now? A: A couple of years ago, I was contacted by one of my current massage clients because her daughter was into camming and needed a stunt cock to work with. Her manager told her that her numbers were slipping and needed to step up her game. She knew all about me and my past. It was good money for a couple of weeks, but I eventually decided that it wasn't really me any more. Oral doesn't count as sex, right? Other than that, I was a frequent client at the strip clubs local to me. I am well known and pretty widely respected for my attitude there. I don't just go to have a good time myself, I try to make sure that the other patrons, the wait staff, the DJ, and the girls all have a good time. I'm pretty free with my money there. I'm in a job that pays pretty well, and I like to bounce a pretty girl on my knee. Those things work pretty well together. I gave advice to anyone who asked for it. A lot of the specifics may be outdated, but the techniques and personal coping tips I gave were timeless. A couple of times someone drove over from another club just to meet with and talk to me when a friend texted to let them know I was around. Reputation is important. I've still got the hot hands, so I don't want to let them go to waste. I have a couple of massage clients who I've been seeing for years. I'm not looking for more. Every once in a while one of them will ask for something a bit off-menu and I'll oblige, but only up to a point. We all know my limits. Hey, stress is stress. Horny people are not relaxed people. Q: I know that some people think that sex work is for the hypersexual, or can make people hypersexual. Do you agree? A: I had to look that up. I honestly did. I think about sex a lot. I have detailed fantasies that I play out in my head, and they are important to me, but I can't imagine them taking over my thoughts so much that it would compromise my good sense. Maybe I'm immune to it. Having said that, I've seen it happen so many times that it was just a commonplace situation while I was working. So, I guess I CAN imagine it. Human emotions are a tricky thing. Add in easy access and guaranteed gratification and people feel that they can get whatever they want, whenever they want. That has to be an intoxicating feeling. Used incorrectly, it can be dangerous. I know I've had to have 'the talk' with a client or patron who was seeing too much in a situation. Being in the fantasy while in the situation is fine, but you have to know when to turn it off. You have to be ABLE to turn it off. One of my regular clubs has 2 levels; all of the client stalls are on the upper floor. I had often told a new dancer that the stairs were the cutoff line. Downstairs, we were drinking buddies. Upstairs, we were playing out the first 30 minutes of a fresh relationship. Setting and respecting boundaries are important steps at the begging of every relationship, no matter how long. Again, because sex has never been an overly important part of my life, it doesn't seem to have the same hold on me. People who equate sex with love are going to have a hard time. Love is the problem. I know that sounds wrong. I'm talking about the wrong kind of love. Obsessive love. Unreciprocated love. One-sided love. It's important that people in the SW industry understand this. Providers do (or should). Clients can have a harder time because they may restrict themselves to one provider and develop the wrong kind of feelings. No, not wrong. I can't tell you that your feelings are wrong. Maybe you just feel them too deeply. You don't know the number of times I've given advice to young (or not so young) women in a strip club. I'm fairly well known as an authority on this kind of subject and was always dropping knowledge like Galileo in Pisa. It's hard to be dispassionate when your entire job is to rile up the emotions of your clients. It's a delicate balance and can be a dangerous game. I guess that's where strong mental health comes in. I can't emphasize this enough. Q: I talk a lot about sex work and how it’s not always actually to do with sex. A lot of it is companionship, for escorting at least. What about stripping? Are there other elements to it than just sex? A: Of course. When I was working in a club, my clientele was almost exclusively bored housewives. There was a lot of talking. There was a lot of listening. There were a lot of drinks. It's true that a career stripper's job is about 50% dancing, and 50% analyst. Talk, talk, talk, raise your eyebrows and push the sale. I was there to make money, but you talk to the same person enough and you get to know them. We couldn't just sit at a table and play with our phones. They didn't exist. This was 35 years ago. There was no such thing as a mobile telephone or instant communication. You had to be at work all the time if you wanted to get paid. It came in spurts and if you weren't there, you missed it. That meant a lot of bored hunks cruising the room, talking to the patrons. You got to know them; their lives, their problems pretty intimately. Remember, when I was doing it, the concept of 'extras' hadn't been fully developed. What happened between you and your client, well ... it happened. There was no judgment. It was part of the job. We had rules and limits, but a very clear idea of what was permissible. There was an art to the tease, and that was what kept them coming back. The continual promise of more. There's a mental aspect to the game. Q: Getting personal now… you mentioned to me you’ve not had sex in 16 years. Is there any particular reason for that? A: Fall 2004. I was 40. I've never cheated on a life partner. I'm living with someone and we get along really well. She's 7 years older than I, nearing retirement. We've known each other forever and been together on and off until we got back together 20 years ago. Our sexual relationship just kind of faded away and we never even talk about it. She isn't interested anymore, and I don't need it so much that I feel I have to step out. I'm happy with where my moral compass points and feel no need to change. I've certainly had the opportunity. The responses to me saying no to the offer of sex is comical sometimes, painful at others. Don't get me wrong. I love sex. I love the idea of it. I love the feel/smell/taste of it. I love thinking about it and watching other people doing it. I was pretty good at it too, by all accounts. I just don't NEED it. That's pretty rare, I think. I can take care of my personal intimacy needs by myself. My desires are pretty tame and easily (if not quickly) satisfied. I blow off steam by doing massage. It's something that I've had my hand in for over 30 years. I have the experience and good, soft, strong hands. I have a couple of 'clients' I've been seeing for a long time. Well, not lately. That's been painful for me. It's the longest time since the 80's that I haven't had my hands on someone. Q: Do you think you’ll get back into the strip club scene? A: I don't think that things will go back to the same kind of feeling that it had before. I loved walking into a strip club, surveying my domain and knowing that I was The King. The Alpha Cock. It was home. I knew how everything worked and my place in it. I'll certainly try going back when it's safe again, but there will be a level of trepidation that I've never felt before. As a patron. Not as a stripper. Nobody wants that. I asked. Q: Did you find it hard unwinding from the industry? A: No. Not at all. Ask any ex-stripper and they'll tell you the same thing. A wealth of experience is to be had, some good, some bad. If you were doing it as a means to an end and you reach your goal, you get out (if you're able). That's what I did. I'm also speaking from a world of privilege. I was a young, white male in the 80's. I didn't have to be doing what I was doing. If I failed, I'd have easily survived. There was very little risk for me. I know that. I miss entertaining. I miss that, for sure. I miss dancing on the stage and enticing an audience. I don't miss the daily grind and stirring drinks with my dick. I'd like to think that I made a lot of women happy when I started dating again, and a lot of that was due to the mental hardening I had gained. I knew how to run a short-term relationship so that nobody got hurt. Some of it was therapy. Some of it was adjustment. If I seem coldly detached, that's just the way I am. I think I've explained pretty well how I got here. Q: For someone who is looking to step back from it, have you got any advice for them? A: You know, I'd love to give advice. I just can't. Everyone is different. I was never really IN it, to begin with. My experience is pretty unique. I was a provider of services, not a patron. I can't imagine anyone reading this who would find it easy to step away from having sex. I don't even recommend it. Keep having sex as long as you can. It's good for you. However, if you are really looking to get away from it, figure out what you're going to do instead first. Read a book. WRITE a book. Take up woodworking or some other hobby if you are able. Learn to cook. Start an exercise program. Talk to your friends and see if any of them have done the same. If you're a dancer and want to get out, do it. There is nothing worse than a sad dancer. How many times have I had a girl cry all over me DURING A LAP DANCE? More than a few. Both as a dancer and as a patron. It's a human reaction that can come out at any time. Still, if you need to get out and can afford it, I suggest it. When a regular tells me that she is ready to retire or is getting her shit together and needs to step away, I'm always supportive. I'll miss them when they're gone, but I'm glad to see them go. Look out for yourself first. Q: Thanks so much for your time - anything else you’d like to add? A: You made me look through my tickle trunk to see if I still had something. On my first shift, the owner tossed me a soft pitch by having a regular customer show me how things worked in the back room. It was something I'll never forget. When we worked out her bill, she had to pay me with a little bit of small change. I kept one of the coins because it had the current year on it. This is my Dance Nickel. I kept it in my wallet all this time, only putting it away a couple of years ago after doing that cam work and retiring for good. It helps me to remember one of the greatest, strangest, most strengthening times in my life. I'd never have made it as a male dancer these days. I didn't have the personality to be in that kind of amazing shape. I was tall and in pretty good trim with a great voice, hair and other attributes that made me popular, but so pale. My god, I was pale. Still am. Life is what you make of it, I guess. So, while my story is interesting for sure, I can't see it being relevant to most of the readers. It says a lot about how I came to be who I am today, but the experiences are going to be alien and quirky to most. I hope it might be of use to somebody.
  5. 9 points
    Happy Sunday sexy people! This week's interview is with @Everleigh May. You may have seen her around on Lyla as she's been here for a looong time but has recently become active again. This topic is on safety as a sex worker as it's #sexualassaultawarenessmonth. Please share your tips on staying safe in the comments. ❤️ Q: Hey @Everleigh May! First of all a big welcome back to Lyla - I know from speaking with you that you used to use this board back when it was CERB! So, tell me a bit about yourself and your career so far. A: Thanks for inviting me to do this interview! I'm Everleigh born and raised in Ottawa, Ontario. I have travelled a lot within Canada and internationally thanks to this career. I love it! Q: How many years of experience do you have so far? A: 9+ off and on Q: In that time I bet you’ve learnt a thing or two - keeping yourself safe must be one of those things. What is your screening process like? A: I've had a few hiccups on the journey for sure, but now I ask for Lyla handles, references from Providers they have seen. Of course I ask what they are looking for in our session together. Sometimes I ask for a pic of them doing something innocent to prove they are who they are. Q: What experiences have you had that have led you to adapt your screening processes or take extra precautions? A: Thank God I have never personally had to deal with a super bad situation. But talking to friends about their experiences has made me take safer precautions. Q: What are some of the safest ways to advertise? A: Honestly it depends on where you are in the world and how discreet you wanna be. Personally I find Lyla great for myself while I'm in Canada . Q: What safety tips can you share for Providers who offer incalls? A: Hire security. Always have security very close by (lobby of hotel, other bedroom, not in the room or bathroom). Always let security know how much time you will be spending with the Client, text or call security when the donation rate is provided and you feel safe. Then proceed with providing your entertainment . Q: And what about Providers visiting outcall locations? I imagine you have to be extra careful here. A: Same as the answer above. Oh, but I always have a little key chain of what looks like spray attached to my condom clutch. Q: I saw you commented on a thread saying you keep pepper spray nearby but have only had to show it to someone once. Can you tell me a bit about that experience? A: I've never been threatened or assaulted by a client. But I have had friends that have unfortunately. Me and my girl Brooklyn were in Mississauga late 2015 and she had a bad date to the point I could hear it from my room that was 2 doors down. I had a key card to get in her room of course I let myself if and he was actually pulling her by her hair away from the door and I just showed and told him I had pepper spray. He pushed Brooklyn towards me, we fell as he darted past us and out the door. Q: That sounds scary. I’m glad you were there for her and were able to make him go away. Any other precautions you take? E.g. sharing location with a friend, hiring security? A: I always tell my best friend and my second is never too far. Q: Do you ever communicate with fellow SPs to help keep each other safe? Such as warning them about red flags/bad dates? (We have a private SP area here on Lyla for exactly that if you didn’t already know) A: I have in the past yes. Q: It’s #SexualAssaultAwareness this month and I’ve been thinking about how people downplay assault to SWers because “it’s a dangerous industry”. What would you say to these people? A: Honest answer? I would tell them to go f*ck themselves. If they were someone that deserved an explanation on the subject, I would hit them with hard facts and education. But that's a rant on its own. Q: Fair! I’m all for decrim because I think SWers would be more likely to report assault/harassment to the police if it wasn’t criminalised. Do you think a lot of this goes unreported? A: I can go on for days on this subject but I won't bore you all. I will say a lot goes unreported and things need to change. Q: Agreed! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, Everleigh. I know it’s a sensitive topic but also a really important one, so I really appreciate it. Anything else you’d like to say? A: No problem; I'm an open book. Thanks again for giving me this opportunity and providing us all with this safe place to be ourselves!
  6. 9 points
    Hey everyone! My apologies that this interview is slightly late but I can assure you - it is worth the wait! A big thank you to @Clara Fonseca a Provider in Montreal, on sharing her thoughts on why she thinks the purchase of "companionship" has stigma. Q: Hey Clara! Thanks so much for taking the time to be part of our interviews with the community. First of all, can you tell me a bit about yourself? A: I am a Montreal-based provider in my early 20s. At first, I started offering companionship because I was craving a different kind of intimacy. The intimacy I get during encounters with clients seems a lot more authentic to me because they escape all societal taboos about how sex should be performed and what should or shouldn’t be done. I love the vulnerability of two unknown bodies getting to know each other in a non-judgemental atmosphere. This being said, I have to mention that I am a white / cis / thin provider which means I am privileged in the industry. I am well-aware that my reality is not that of every provider. My answers are based on my personal experience only. Q: The topic today is around shame/stigma surrounding the purchasing or selling of Companionship. Before we fully dive into the reasons behind this, can you tell me if you’ve ever experienced shame in this regard? A: I have experienced shame in many ways. From having to lie to my relatives about a job I absolutely adore to clients making remarks about how ‘’I’m such a smart girl and I could do so much better than that’’. I am extremely lucky to have some wonderful sex worker friends I can be transparent with but it can be a very lonely job due to the stigma surrounding selling sex. Q: If you did experience shame, what do you think were the reasons behind it? A: Mostly because people will listen but not hear what i say when I speak about my job. Very often I felt like the people I chose to open up to were just curious and excited about crunchy details, the possibility of gaining social capital and looking open-minded by associating with someone that belongs to a marginalized group. Other times I got reduced to ‘’the sex worker friend’’, ‘’the sexpert’’ or ‘’the slut’’ by individuals that though the universe of sex work was fascinating but still saw me as inferior. It honestly makes me sad that people would rather know how many men I slept with than hear me talk about how happy companionship makes me and how meaningful it is to me. Q: It’s funny how purchasing other intimate things such as a massage is “normal” but anything a bit more intimate is considered taboo… how much of that do you think is because of shame around sex in general? A: Even with the secularization of society, sexual intercourse are still unconsciously associated with procreation and therefore given a sacred value. As women, we are often raised under the purity paradigm. Our virginity is turned into a physical possession for the taking and girls who uphold their virginity are considered more pure. This moralistic view of sexuality is a nuisance for everyone but it affects sex workers differently because what we sell is considered inestimable and should be ‘’a genuine gift’’. Intimate services such as massages are normalized because they are not seen as connected with the act of sex and leading to sexual gratification. Often, people will be disgusted by the fact that we sell our bodies for a living while forgetting that under capitalism everyone does. Q: Another thing I find strange is how the media romanticises sex work (Pretty Woman being a classic example), yet we have such a long way to go in terms of sex workers IRL. What are your thoughts on that? A: I am pretty biased about this question. I feel like the romanisation of sex work is mostly harmful to the community as it creates false expectations about the profession. The glamourization of sex work in movies and social media can make less privileged providers feel inapt or inferior. The reason why I say I am biased though is that the representation of sex workers in the media is almost exclusively negative (human trafficking, providers getting abused and pimped, shootings in massage parlors, etc). While these realities exist and need to be talked about, movies like pretty woman (even if highly misleading) offer ‘’civvies’’ a different perspective to the job. Ideally, the media would offer sex workers a platform to speak for themselves about their experiences rather than controlling the narrative and making money off our stories/lives. Q: Let’s talk about the “whorearchy”. First of all, can you explain what that means? A: The ‘’whorearchy’’ is a hierarchal system used to classify sex workers. This system is highly arbitrary, contributes to the stigma surrounding sex work and is extremely detrimental to the community. From my understanding, sex workers are ranked according to the type of services they offer, the sexual practices they choose to engage in and what is considered most socially acceptable. So if we were to use a pyramid chart, at the base layer we would find the more marginalized full service sex workers such as street-based and brothel sex workers. In the middle layers we would have independent escorts, MPAs, strippers, dominatrix, porn stars, strippers and sugar babies. At the top of the whore pyramid we would find content creators (such as onlyfans models) as well as cam girls. Then again, it is highly arbitrary. Some full service providers will consider themselves as ‘’Elite’’ and will therefore decide that they belong at the top of the whore pyramid based on their revenue. My personal opinion is that whorearchy is rooted in classism, ableism, racism and reproduces the same social model of oppression within an already stigmatized community. Q: Can you think of some examples of things people say that supports the hierarchy? For example Only Fans models quickly clarifying they’re not *that* kind of sex worker. A: I feel like this hierarchy is highly based on the level of intimacy you choose to engage in with your clients. While procreation isn’t the main reason why people engage in intercourse nowadays, penetrative vaginal sex followed by male ejaculation is still widely seen as ‘’real sex’’ while other sexual acts like caressing a men’s genitals are seen as more acceptable even when they lead to the same finality ; ejaculation. Because some practices are more socially tolerated and less controversial, some sex workers wish to distance themselves from others in order to look more decent or respectable. There is a lot of things people say within or outside the community that support the hierarchy. A few examples would be Only Fans models define their content as art while degrading mainstream pornstars, high-end escorts looking down street-based sex workers for charging less or strippers making fun of full service providers for getting intimate with their clients. Q: Do you think that solidarity with other sex workers will help lessen shame around hiring/being an escort? A: I am not sure if it will lessen the stigma around hiring escorts but I do think it has a positive impact within the sex work community. I’m very adamant about the importance of supporting each other and lifting each other up. I have seen the industry change quite a bit in the last few years in terms of solidarity between sex workers. I feel like there is still a lot of work be done. The most vulnerable and marginalized sex worker are often the ones that are left out while the more privileged ones get easier access and recognition from the community. Q: Have you got any suggestions for people in the “vanilla world” on how they can be better allies to sex workers? A: Educate yourself. One of the things about ‘’civvies’’ is that they are often expecting us to convince them that our job is valid. Before you start interrogating a sex worker about their experience, make sure they are willing to share it with you. Some of us will be happy to engage in conversations about our job but some might not feel like it and their feelings are more valid than your curiosity. Once a sex worker chooses to open up to you, please don’t start telling them what you believe they should or should not do and PLEASE respect their privacy. Support their decisions even though these might not be decisions you would make for yourself. Lastly, speak up for us whenever you can. Because of the stigma surrounding sex work we often have to refrain from speaking up by fear of ‘’outting’’ ourselves. Q: What advice would you give to a Client feeling shame for paying for Companionship? A: I would ask them if they feel shame for compensating a lawyer or a physiotherapist for their time ? If they don’t then they should not feel ashamed to pay an escort for sex. Just like any other professionals, companions offer a service in exchange for a remuneration. Many people condemn prostitution because they believe it contributes to the oppression of women but denying a women the autonomy of choice on her body is also oppression. There is a lot of services out there being offered to meet people's mental and physical needs and i believe companionship should be seen as one of them. There is nothing wrong with wanting affection, tenderness or physical intimacy as long as both parties are consenting. Q: What advice would you give to a Companion feeling shame for selling Companionship? A: The concept of selling your body in exchange for a remuneration is one of the basic principal in capitalist societies. Under capitalism everyone sells their bodies and whether they decide to sell them to the local grocery store as a cashier or in an office as an accountant is a decision that belongs to them only. Q: Thanks for your time, Clara. Anything else you would like to add? A: I would just like to add that while i do find empowerment in companionship, sex work do not need to be empowering to be valid. It’s a job and in no other field would people even ask you that question. Clara Fonesca Montreal Twitter - https://twitter.com/theclarafonseca Website - https://theclarafonseca.wixsite.com/site/
  7. 8 points
    Another fantastic interview!! Love them... I read them cuddled up on my couch with my Sunday morning cuppa 🥰 so well written and I love the openness and sharing... can’t wait for the next one!
  8. 7 points
    Me as a blonde. Exciting to complete to all those gorgeous women selected by Notch above😎. The photo was freshly taken last night at my place in New Brunswick. Hello 😝
  9. 7 points
    What we really, really need right now is a vaccine against conspiracy theories.
  10. 6 points
    Happy National Masturbation Month, people! 😄 It's got me thinking about the many masturbation myths around. For example: Masturbation makes you blind (my eye sight is practically perfect so I am testament that this is BS) Vibrators desensitise your clit (haaa, again, can vouch that this is not true) Counteracted by some facts... According to a Harvard study, masturbation (or just "emptying") can decrease your risk of prostate cancer If you can feel your cervix with your fingers it could mean that you're about to come on your period as your cervix lowers in preparation for menstruation Leave your facts/myths - let's get educated on all things masturbation! PS - did you know in the UK we call it "wanking"? I said this to a Canadian once and they thought it was hilarious!
  11. 6 points
    Absolutely. Wendy’s fries dipped in a Frosty 👌🏻 hits it for me every time 😂 Goood taste 👅
  12. 6 points
    Such smart women, both of you! Love the questions and the answers from the younger generations. Hello! Look how articulate and smart they are. Will comment more. I'm still busy feeding my animals this morning lol
  13. 6 points
    Facts: Masturbation relieve stress, A study proved that men who ejaculate more then 21 times a month are less likely to develop prostate cancer. Release tension Enhance sleep quality Boost concentration Elevate mood Relieve menstrual cramp Alleviate pain Improve sex Myth: Blindness Hairy palms Impotence later in life Erectile dysfunction Penis shrinkage Penis curvature Low sperm count Infertility Mental illness Physical weakness
  14. 6 points
    I’m not assuming it was noticed or that I was missed... but just in case anyone is under the assumption that I have retired, have left Lyla or am particularly ignoring them, none are the case. I will say here & now, I will never ignore anyone. If I don’t reply, either something is up or in cases of texting, I may just be looking out for you, so try again. I’ve indeed been available throughout the pandemic, offering CovidSmart sessions. i also always have and always will love this wonderful community of ours. For reasons beyond anyone’s control, there was a ghost in the machine that was blocking me from gaining access to my account. Lydia and I have worked on it together and have finally resolved whatever it was that was happening. So I’m back on Lyla. I am still available in Ottawa and for those who joined btwn then & now, here’s a belated welcome from me. I hope all of u have been staying safe through this past year. I look forward to reconnecting! Sending u my love & affection, JessyCeleste xoxo xxx www.JessyCeleste.com
  15. 6 points
    This one is hot too! My butts 🤣
  16. 6 points
    I’ve tried every place. But some I won’t return to because of pushy sales tactics. For example, when owners of certain places post fake reviews or bump threads to the top of the list by putting a “.” in the thread. Not cool. So I avoid those places that do that.
  17. 5 points
    I love eating and food. But I remember long time ago when I was introduced for the first time, Switzerland's blue cheese. Ewwww.... nasty 😭. But now I like it. My tongue adjusts well ☺️
  18. 5 points
    I crush up Doritos in taco salad — I think something similar was mentioned above. But it’s definitely a game changer
  19. 5 points
  20. 5 points
    Thank you. Being truthful, caring and attentive to our clients definitely is crucial. I love you @cassiesteele already the moment you write you love dogs. How about chicken and ducks girl? We never know we can be a roomie someday lol. I'm in NB too.... hello 😋
  21. 5 points
    I also have a Vitamix and use it quite often, for me it for a mid day break. I have tried almost everything in it...it's the best blender ever. From making ice cream to soup with the same machine is incredible. It makes an awesome carrot soup and even better potato soup.
  22. 5 points
    Haha I can confirm mayo is very popular for fries in Europe! They also have vending machine burgers and fries in Holland 😆 We have something in the UK called a chip butty. Which is chunky fries in a bread roll haha. I love carbs so it's a yes from me 😛
  23. 5 points
    Love mayo on fries and poutines. Also to dip onion rings in honey and butter pizza crust.
  24. 5 points
    I saw Freddygurl this evening and she's very sweet and open minded. She happened to have dinner cooked and offered me some. I haven't met an SP who fed me before! Mind you, this was after the bedroom fun was done and my time was technically up. It goes without saying that this lady is a must see!
  25. 5 points
  26. 5 points
    What an awesome interview @lydiahardwood, I'm so glad you invited Clara for this week interview. I glanced at her website and I won't lie her pictures are amazing. I will also say that she writes very well, this lady is well educated.
  27. 5 points
    My home made chicken pot pie🥰 it's so yummy 😋
  28. 5 points
    Are they good enough 😅 Enjoy! More naughty stuff can be seen exclusively on my onlyfans
  29. 5 points
    An important thing about vaccines that most people forget is that while all the vaccines will prevent serious illness or death, you can still contract a mild case of COVID-19. It's unknown if you can transmit it though.
  30. 5 points
    MAY SCHEDULE Moncton Sunday May 2: 5pm - 9pm Monday May 3: 10:30am - 6pm Saint John Thursday May 13: 5pm - 9pm Friday May 14: 11am - 5pm Fredericton Wednesday May 19: 5pm - 9pm Thursday May 20: 11am - 5pm Later dates to be announced New clients: Please fill out my booking form at BerlinMoss.com Returning clients: Send an email with your preferred date/time/duration to [email protected]
  31. 5 points
    Hope you and Beatrix enjoy your nap! I just bought some new boxing gloves for Muay Thai
  32. 5 points
    I’m no Sherlock Holmes but I’m pretty sure it’s on Carlton. My first hunch was the title of this thread.
  33. 5 points
    Met Lily for the first time recently and wow! She is one of the prettiest lady I have ever met. Cancel that, she is the prettiest lady I have ever met. Period. I spent major portion of my time just looking at her face! Her service is what you imagine when someone says the words 'GFE'. From chat to service, it's top notch. She is a very easy going person who cares about simple things in life. Location is perfect and high end. She is here for another week. If you are in this hobby and haven't met her (like I was), you are missing out on top of the line lady. She raised the bar like few hundred feet up. We need a new rating system for her, 5 stars are not enough!
  34. 5 points
    Things are getting hairy and feel it's safe for me to go on lockdown with the rest of Ontario. I will miss you all but happy to have a closet full of toys to keep me occupied! Stay safe everyone 💋
  35. 5 points
    Name calling....I was doing doggy style with a sexy 20's girl and she turned around and said "how do you like your daughter's ass this way...Daddy !", lost my erection right away. I don't have a daughter only a son but having that image in my head was just an instant turn off. I can imagine the same with a lady if she was called "bitch", "whore", "slut" etc... she might be into it but this should be discussed between both parties before it happens.
  36. 4 points
    Ranch on spaghetti don’t come for me till you try it 😉
  37. 4 points
    Great topic! As a middle-aged man, I remember being a youngin and thinking porn was like a how-to- video. As I have aged , and gained experience, I know better! Some dudes like to be rough with sp, agreed upon or not, as though hurting a women is the turn on. I think a sp really needs to put the restrictions on the table from the get go and hopefully, weed out gents that are all but gentlemen.
  38. 4 points
    Mom you're making me well up! Love you! ❤️❤️❤️
  39. 4 points
    "I've always had a fetish of hooking up with someone new… Great career for me lol. You know when you go out to a bar, find someone you vibe with, then go home fuck and have the best time? Its like that but now I get paid which is also a fetish." I feel this incredibly and will share in that sentiment if I may. I adore your picture! It is quite tasteful 💋
  40. 4 points
    Thanks @cassiesteele for the great interview! Thanks for letting us all get to know you a little better. Its nice to hear about how supportive and rewarding the work can be, and that the human connection is part of it. Thanks as always to @lydiahardwood for her hard work and taking a special site and making it exceptional.
  41. 4 points
    For those who look at the calendar and the date everyday you will notice that today is the fourth. It's also the day before "Cinco de Mayo" for our Mexican friends. This is more reason to celebrate. So to both my Jedi friends and Mexican lets raise our glass and party !
  42. 4 points
  43. 4 points
    I answered yes only because on Tuesday (May 4) I get my first shot...yay road trip to Peterborough. Could be worse, cashier at grocery store told me she has to go all the way to Lindsay. (put in context I live close to western side of Trenton...joy's of smalltown living lol) Could have drawn short straw and had to go to Apsley or Lindsay so not complaining Anyhow back to my point...I'll be having a date this summer (all other things being equal eg lock downs etc) and making plans for another date too (including pre-payment in full) As for proof...no. As analogy we don't ask each other for proof of STD-STI testing, so why now ask for proof of covid vaccination? So I plan to see one of my favorite ladies and hopefully meet another who also becomes a favorite A Locked Up Rambling RG
  44. 4 points
    There is nothing more important right now then being vaccinated to be safe. I'm not afraid of needles but I'm afraid that the vaccine may not protect us as much as they say it would. I answered "Yes" simply because if I do end up getting the vaccine and all of my favorite ladies are as well I'll call for an orgy.... Alright maybe not an orgy but a good threesome and lots of fun for all of us. Stay safe everyone.
  45. 4 points
  46. 4 points
  47. 4 points
    I should get boxing gloves to defend myself from Beatrix's punches 😹 Beatrix says "Thank You" RG & Beatrix
  48. 4 points
    Not being into the 4/20 world and not drinking any alcohol I still respect those that do smoke or have the occasional drink. Don't get me wrong I tried smoking regular cigarettes but it was not for me. Back in college I tried smoking weed and it did nothing but made me choke, tried it again 12 years later and it made me feel really weird. I have been to many parties were everyone smoked weed and got high and many of them were good friends of mine, they respected that I didn't do it myself. Also because I was a firefighter I had to be ready at any time and that would not have worked out for me. I hope everyone had a great 4/20 yesterday.
  49. 4 points
    Such a special person @Kilt Boy this is the most honest interview to date. My fav. Thanks. I commented with one word before because I felt the depth and the sincerity of your answers. My virtual daughter @lydiahardwoodis excellent of doing this as well. You both are fab 😫
  50. 4 points
    I don't promise but most likely yes .
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