Ryan1967

Yes, the membership fees are different...BC is 5$ for a lifetime membership and I think CMJ is 70$ when you first join (technically it is 200$ and your first 30 minute session, of 130$ ivalue s included...so 200-130 = 70) and I have been told is is $10/yr thereafter.

I think the thought process is - if you see someone posting something that is nasty - instead of ignoring it, or worse, agreeing with it - do you say something? Do you call someone out if they have posted something that is potentially violent? Dangerous? Or, do you keep scrolling and do nothing? Again, I`m not referring to the comment `she wasn`t my cup of tea`. Its the comments like she`s a dog, she doesn`t deserve to be alive, she needs a shit kicking.

 

I still remember a post - someone had commented on a really attractive lady who worked in a retail store. She did not work in the industry. Enough information was made available for people to figure out where she worked. Comments were being made "yes, she is really hot, I'd bone her" etc, which meant these guys were actually going to her workplace to check her out. The thread was eventually closed, and identifying information was deleted. However, I was horrified. Her safety was put in jeopardy, and of course, because she is not part of this industry, knew nothing about the increased interest in her.

 

Of course, the ladies on the site could not comment on the thread. It was not about them, so therefore, they did not have a say in the matter. However, it did open my eyes to the ramifications of some that do not seem to understand the dangers they place others in by their inappropriate comments - and lack thereof.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply Meaghan, that makes more sense. For what it's worth, terb members will routinely call out other members for inappropriate posts, crude language, and I personally have never experienced anything violent or dangerous...but my experienece is limited to the Ottawa forums and subforums so certainly not a far reaching conclusion across the entire board.

with all due respect, this is pretty self serving. Proclaiming 'I personally do not beat my wife' does not make domestic violence go away. We all, as men - and especially as clients, really ought to step up and take some responsibility for the often shameful tone of posts on these boards. Saying 'it wasn't me' isn't terribly helpful. Let's all own up a little and think hard before we press 'send'.

While I agree with the last part of your last sentence...not sure I am completely following your logic in this post. Are you suggesting that all members of the male gender take responsibility for the actions of others? That seems a bit broad and sweeping. I strongly condemn domestic violence of any kind, but I don't take responsibility if someone beats their wife, if I am a bystander to violence I will intervene, but to help a victim, not to take responsibility for the actions of others. By your logic should all men be incarcerated because there are some wife beaters amongst us?

Went there last night as I had been curious for months and I finally had a free Friday night. They allow single guys on Friday, it was not a special night as Malika described, everyone seemed to know everyone (regulars) so for your first time and you go alone, prepare to be pretty disappointed. Not much action happening and a lot of voyeurs.

Everything said about Stacy Star is accurate, I saw her for an MA session which was toe curlingly fabulous. She is sensual, sweet and an absolute pleasure to hang out with. Her MA rates are very reasonable, highly recommended!

From a client perspective, as long as the original ad is very clear of the timeframe for the discount (e.g "special discount today, March 31st only") then totally fine to honour the ad wording and not offer the discount on a different day. If the ad does not mention anything about timeframe then I would feel that the quoted rate does not have an expiry date, even if the ad is removed it will be cached from several "scraping" sites.

Concur with this recommendation, Penny is a wonderfully sensual woman, our hour together wizzed by and I cannot wait to see her again. She is gorgeous to look and, has a perfect spinner body and conversation flowed effortlessly. She really is a gem

She is featured in Cowboy Kenny's diary today.

I wonder if this may be a good time for clients and ladies to exchange private email addresses - if privacy is not an issue of course.

Email communication will not be any safer under the new law:

This enactment amends the Criminal Code to, among other things,

(a) create an offence that prohibits purchasing sexual services or communicating in any place for that purpose;

Ryan1967, if you're concerned about HIV, Hepatitis, etc., instead of requiring her to disclose her period cycle why don't you just ask if she has these or other transmittable infections? Would you rely 100% on her answer? Should she rely 100% on the clients clean health statements and allow bbfs? Or, would it be better for us to take responsibility for our own health? Communication is good but as I said in my earlier post, do we need to start filling out some full disclosure form on both sides? To what end, since you may not know you have an STI for 100% certain and she may not know if her period could start.

I am obviously not making myself clear...blood borne pathogens are the usually the most deadly/nasty...so yes, I am concerned about those...I hope everyone is. Performing daty on a woman who is not on her cycle carries virtually no risk of contracting any of those, unless under extreme circumstances. I had (incorrectly) assumed that most providers would not work for 4 days out of 28, but as many have stated, there could be longer periods of spotting and work is often a necessity. Working during the cycle changes the risk profile from the baseline, seems pretty obvious to me.

I personally think this health concern is a red herring and this is just some guys grossed out by blood. Otherwise, how do you reconcile the above.

I disagree, it is not a red herring agree that the OP was grossed out by the blood, but the dialog has evolved into a health risk, which I think is genuine, you can choose to disagree with me.

It also smacks a bit of misogyny or shaming,

wow...conclusion jump much?

I have just been re-reading and reviewing all the literature on transmissions of STIs and actually, I don't see that an issue of blood versus an issue of vaginal fluid increases the risk. If someone has something that can be transmitted by fluid, it appears it can be equally transmitted though vaginal fluid, blood, semen or cum, pre-cum and saliva. So if she has something infectious than it can be equally transmitted through just her vaginal fluid, which is going directy into your mouth already, as it can be by the blood going into your mouth. So I am not convinced that the RISK is any higher.

Some pathogens (HIV, Hepatitis, etc.) are only transmitted by blood. For those, the risks are definitely higher for both parties during menstruation.

Therefore, if one's concern about risk outweighs their desire to perform oral, then (as Cat says) using a dental dam is the only way to go, period or no period.

It is not that black and white...Hobbiests that research risks understand the risks of daty, I have yet to see a table that shows daty both during and not during menstrual cycles and the relative risks. On top of that, there are some that feel that there should not be any disclosure of the cycle, so now the hobbiest is being asked to assume that all SP are always on their cycle. Put that altogether...I'm out of this hobby.

The new to the industry provider was obviously in a difficult position given she was seeing her first client in spite of her monthly and when the mishap occurred, the OP took her fee back then her agency didn't have the decency to back her up. To me, the prevailing attitudes and the entire situation is a travesty...

On this point...we agree! I have not commented on how the OP handled it, which I concur was not acceptable, but I think there are things to be learned, and agree or disagree...I think this thread has served a good purpose (putting the OP and the situation to the side).

I'm not saying women don't enjoy daty,

neither did I...

I'm saying that it isn't a required service in our work unless the gent indicates an interest. I also didn't say that providers don't enjoy daty in an appointment ever, I simply gave some general parameters to having that happen organically. Talk about twisting words...

I never mentioned enjoyment, you inferred that it is performed out of commercial necessity which is what I was commenting on, don't twist my words either!

Thanks Gabriella...I did not quote originally, but I was referring to Cat's post:

Daty is performed for the client, not the provider

Which I believe is where the generalization began. I am relieved to hear that some providers may actually enjoy this activity.

Again, I am commenting a little off topic but since this point is being discussed...

 

 

Ryan, I think it is important not to generalize here; not all SPs offer (unprotected) Daty because of the "market demand". Some of us actually enjoy it and enjoy it a LOT. The same can be said about other sexual activities...

Thanks for ruining daty for me... :). I am joking of course (partly), but I did not realize that most SP's have no interest in that activity whatsoever and do it mostly due to market demand, thanks for enlightening me. I do understand that you are interested in promoting the use of dental dams as I seem to remember other threads where that drum had been banged before.

As for having cake and eating it too...you are obviously entitled to your perspective, but I see it a bit differently. If risk is changed from the baseline (which you admitted that a menstrual cycle does) a provider has a choice to accept the risk and hope nothing goes wrong or disclose the situation to their clients (or of course not work on those days). I would of course prefer the latter and you seem to prefer the former. I see the latter as open and honest communcation, whereas you seem to prefer a "datyer beware" approach. As I said earlier in this thread...this has been useful and educational.

I don't feel this is about secrecy, it's just common sense which so many seem to lack when it comes to taking responsibility for their actions.

I won't comment on all of your reply since we appear to agree to disagree on most points, which is totally fine of course. But I think my point on secrecy is black and white, if a provider does not disclose her cycle and engages in vaginal activities...she is keeping it a secret, not sure how you can argue that. I agree with your preaching on the use of dental dams, but as I have been told on numerous occasions that I "most likely have had a session with an SP during her cycle", it has never been suggested "you should use a dental dam, I am having my cycle".

Agree that each party needs to manage their own risks and be responsible for their own health, which we all know can only be guaranteed by not participating in this industry. Informed clients and providers perform research and weigh the risks, they do that with the knowledge available, keeping some information from them skews the risk assessment process and yes...I see it as secretive, I think most would.

With all due respect Cat, I believe you are twisting the previous posters views out of context

...As we have had the oral sex "risk" discussion ad nauseum here and the resounding response from most hobbyists is that they will make their own decisions regarding safe oral sex all the while the actual weight of the risk is carried by the SP. Now the shoe is on the other foot the tone and response is decidedly different.

Agree the risks of performing daty have been discussed ad nauseam, but that was never in the context of performing daty while a woman was on her menstrual cycle, the poster is suggesting that disclosure would be helpful so there is consent to proceed knowing the additional risk. Without disclosure you have de facto removed to ability to have consent and have knowingly increased risk and I would be curious to see the evidence that shows that the SP bears all the risk when a man performs daty while she is menstruating, from what I have read, both parties have increased risk during this time. If a client had a condition that was known to increase risk of some activities, would you want him to disclose it? I get it that some would not disclose anyway, but ask yourself the question, would you want to know?

We already share the most intimate parts of ourselves with our clients, now it's expected we disclose our menstrual cycles as well?

The ask is only if you decided to work during this time, which is a choice, so no there is no blanket request that providers disclose their menstrual cycles.

Given the feast and famine nature of the business, there are many who can't afford to lose 20-25% of her yearly income. I'd like to see what men would do if they had to take a 25% a year pay hit for a bodily function. Especially when it never coincides with the other things we have to take time off for; like being out of work for a urinary track infection or yeast infection. Which btw is also an almost monthly occurrence for many of us due to our work and we physically can't work thru it. Or any of the other things like the flu and cold epidemics we are exposed to daily that "real" jobs have paid, legislated sick days for which we are not entitled to.

I have heard this argument before...but I don't see it as logical. I work a regular job, probably like many here, and in a 28 day cycle I have 8 days off, I don't get paid on those days, if you average out the stat holidays (which admittedly I do get paid for) I am not working 9 days in a 28 day cycle. I get the feast or famine nature of the business, and if the cycle falls during feast and there are bills to be paid then again I totally get that working is the only option, but the ask is to not imply consent but rather communicate openly and honestly. I would hope that most clients are reasonable and open to having the conversation. Hiding it under the guise of "my body my rules" simply raises the secrecy barrier between client and provider and incents the clients to do the same...which I don't think anyone really wants.

...I for one, appreciate when clients post situations like this and their reaction to it as it allows me to see who they are...

 

cat

Useful for us hobbiests also...

Mileage in the CR does seem to be what gets discussed most...since there is so much variation from club to club and dancer to dancer, that said, a lot of that is better discussed in PM's. I too appreciate when a girl sits down, flirts a little so I can make a decision about taking her to the CR or not. But make no mistake...the only reason there are sitting down and flirting is in the hope that you will take them to the CR (or to see if you would be a good client back in the CR). They really only make money when they are back there.

Finally sorted out my schedule to meet up with Sapphire at Secret Silhouettes...wow...It really was worth the wait. Sapphire is a very intelligent, attractive and extremely talented service provider. I am an incall only kind of guy and I met Sapphire at her incall location, which was clean and smoke free.

Sapphire is a sexy full figured woman, a few tasteful tattoos and gorgeous red hair and freckles. Great dfk to start the session followed by the most mind blowing oral treatment that I have ever experienced. Her skills and attitude was simply awesome. We ended up staying oral for the entire session, which was not the plan, but I was totally fine with it. She was totally into daty, so much so that her orgasm was actually one of the highlights of the session.

A wonderful hour spent with this lovely new SP!

I think belly button rings are super sexy on women of all sizes and shapes. Go for it...I am sure it will look awesome!

If I could collect a cancellation fee for each time I was stood up, had a SP no show or cancel on me I think I would be in the black on my hobbying! Cancelling and no showing is definitely a two way street. I can't imagine a provider would ever see a client that had a cancellation fee policy in place. Though I will agree on average that it is likely that more clients cancel or no show than SP's do.

I think a cancellation policy is fine. but anything beyond a 24 hour is a bit excessive in my opinion

No shows are indeed a problem in this industry, but that too goes both ways, although probably more client no shows than provider no shows. When a client no shows he can end up on a black list (I think mostly for repeat offenders) or a deposit becomes required if he attempts to re-book with the same provider that he stood up.

When a provider no shows (does not show up for an outcall or does not call to provide incall location) there is not much that can be done other than to not choose that provider again. I have experienced about 3-4 provider no shows with no cancellation and no explanation as to why there was no communication. It certainly can be frustrating in both directions.

+1 on the General and Jazzbox...there are many MA's that provide this. Most do not advertise it and I suspect that it very much a YMMV situation (same for an SP for that matter). I have only ever experienced this with Indie MA's.

I completely agree with meeting someone for the first time naked is very awkward. A couple of SP's have done this to me when I arrived at their incall and I wished I could have just left also, I found it disrespectful. Leaving is sadly not an option for a client...but I get that is is for a provider...

Not sure why providers might think that would be a turn on.

Spent a fabulous hour with Melissa Fox a few weeks back. We exchanged a few emails over a few weeks since our schedules took some time to align, she does not work very often so it was more challenging than usual to find a mutually agreeable time. It was well worth the wait...she is very intelligent, sexy, flirty, playful...very much a full gfe experience. I could tell from our email correspondence that I would enjoy spending time with her, I was right. Her photos on her website are absolutely accurate, I saw her at a cozy incall location near the Lincoln Fields area, not uber convenient for me...but not too bad. Dressed in sexy lingerie she met me at the door, loves kissing and touching and is very warm and affectionate. I had a wonderful hour and would highly recommend. As her website states, she is 33, as many of you know, I do gravitate towards the more mature providers; she is in great shape and is very attractive. I don't like to discuss menu options in my recommendations, but I will state that she was extremely enthusiastic and an amazing girlfriend experience.