kinkymtn 209 Report post Posted July 17, 2022 (edited) Hello all in Lyla land I have been an inconsistent yet avid hobbiest for years and have had the chance to meet some truly amazing people, I thank you all!!! Recently I had a life changing event and it landed me in the hospital for 2 weeks and 2 major surgeries. This was to say the least life altering. I am now on the road to recovery yet still challenges are a plenty. I had the notion and wanted to get the communities input especially from providers about there perspective on those with body changes that are not normal... I had to have a stoma.... which means a bag attached to my hip.... I guess big point here is if I chose to get back and in game and inquiry about spending sometime with lovely lady is where should one bring this up? I don't want to just have it sprung out of respect but do I lead off with something like this... Not to mentions my scars lol.... Well I will put this out into the ether and see what comes of it.... Thanks! Edited July 17, 2022 by kinkymtn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Josie Ramoan 1056 Report post Posted July 20, 2022 I've spent time with a few gentlemen who have had similar life changes and they generally let me know in the first few messages. 1 particular gentlemen sent along this article when he told me, second message. I"https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3m39k/sex-with-an-ostomy-bag-tips-and-interview-with-a-couple t's about committed partners so of course the stuff about love and long term relationship isn't applicable but it helped me understand the realities of being intimate with s stoma and some of what he is dealing with. It's up to you how much info you want to share and how early. But I think it would be good to know as early as possible if a potential SP is someone who will make you feel relaxed and comfortable, or if she's someone who won't. This line sums it up, "When one partner is not secure or comfortable with having the appliance in their lives, it reflects onto the other partner." Finding someone who won't make you feel bad is, from my POV, an important part of choosing an SP so discussing it early enough to figure that out seems like a good idea. The article also has some tips for resources and items that might make you, and her, feel more comfortable if you haven't yet started to look into that. I think bottomline, you should feel good in every possible way and how that happens is entirely up to you. Cheers 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
