Time Donations - A security Blanket

[mrrnice2 157005]

I have had several 'revelations' of late and they have caused me to try to put them in print, wondering if this is common for hobbyists or perhaps even for SP's.

 

There have been a number of threads started previously and well responded to regarding relationships between SP and client, friendships between SP and client, and for me this aspect of CERB has been the source of questions about what is real, what is not, what are the boundaries, and where are the boundaries blurred.

 

I am meeting with someone in the near future that I am terribly excited about. It will occur over a significant period of time and much of the activity will not be in a hotel bedroom - much will be like being a couple together, having a picnic, doing an extended physical outdoor activity, visiting a nice restaurant and I know there will be lots of talking about lots of things. It will be the most like a 'girlfriend' experience that I will have experienced.

 

Another SP wrote me a note recently suggesting that I need a girlfriend, and she has suggested previously to me that maybe I should not be relying on the 'pay as you go', approach as I have been doing but perhaps looking elsewhere in the 'real' world.

 

The fact is of course that for reasons of my own I do not wish to have a girlfriend or a relationship. The Catch 22 is that I REALLY enjoy personal contact - just the chance to engage in normal fun day to day sorts of things with a woman that can include anything from going out to dinner, having a walk on a nature trail , whatever, and yes of course more than that as well.

 

The more that one partakes in these sort of activities with a paid companion the more one appreciates just what wonderful people the SP's are but the more that traditional thoughts and feelings learned over a lifetime kick in. Spending longer amounts of time with women that I like does cause me to enjoy their company even more. It can bring questions to mind about what if we had met under different circumstances outside of this industry. I also cannot believe that sometimes SP's don't have the same thoughts or questions about the occasional client that they meet regularly.

 

Hence, the title of this thread, Time Donations - A Security Blanket.

 

For me, it is that time donation that I use to remind myself of what is going on and helps me to keep things in their proper perspective. The time donation is what separates the reality from the fantasy and reminds me that I am merely a patron of some fascinating women who have brought the art of being a courtesan to the level of an art form.

 

For me, money does not grow on trees and is not in unlimited supply, but I do not begrudge the costs of this. It is that very thing, the time donation, that helps me to keep this in perspective and to maintain the boundaries that could probably become very blurred if one were not careful to think this through.

 

I am just thinking aloud and wondering if in fact there are others here, men and women alike who consciously remind themselves about the role that the time donation plays, besides the obvious one of being a cost or an income.

 

Is it a security blanket for me alone?

[Reuben Sandwich 13841]

I do see a particular provider on a fairly regular basis and we have had some longer sessions spent socializing and getting to know one another. Over time we have developed a client, provider friendship that is still developing over time.

I see the Time Donation more as the foundatin of this relationship. I am not sure what we are building but it is the most fun I have had in a long time. Without that foundation I could end up like Yosemite Sam:

 

"Look at me. I got a cabin in the sky"

[Guest K****r De**xe]

Mr. Nice2 you have created a very thoughtful thread that has been nagging at the back of my head as well.

 

As an avid hobbiest I have started to developed some wonderful relationships which in other circumstances coud have gone alot further emotionally and perhaps to a deeper level..The time donation has always brought me back to reality not only with my own personal situation but also that of the SP.

 

They are all such wonderful ladies on so many different levels each with a uniqueness that makes me what to see them more often to get a greater appreciation of each.Here in lies the rub, as its easy to forget on a personal level what has brought you to their door and into some of the private lives. The boundaries can get blurred.

 

The time donation as simple as the envelope and transaction is,should also be reality check thats is perhaps required to keep evrything in perspective as you suggest.

 

This thread has been timely and yes Mr Nice 2 you are not alone in thinking about a security blanket. I have one too!

[Nathalie L 112512]

I wrote a rather lengthy reply to this thread and then re-evaluated what I wanted to include. I'm going to give it some more thought and reply again shortly, perhaps after my vacation! Definitely a good topic though, and something I grapple with frequently.

[Areez 11906]

Excellent writeup mrnice2, your comment has been a great insight for me in learning trough this community.

 

for myself, there is the time that i do ponder the what if question .. as life is, there is a lot of different people out there, some that you can relate to and other that has nothing in common with you.

 

now my question is .. shall this arise, would it be wrong to communicate these thoughts? of course i am not doing it to take any advantages of the lady, but curiousity wins in my book... to find out what the other party ever thought in the same way or if it is just part of the whole experience..

[Kubrickfan 12836]

I had the same issue Nathalie did ... I wrote a long reply and then decided if it was off topic and wasn't helpful to your issue.

 

The short answer is yes, absolutely, as it's a perfect reality check for the average guy with a limited budget for these sorts of things. It is soooooo, soooooo easy to get carried away. The money tends to bring you "back down to earth" so to speak.

 

Another thing that can do that, rather quickly, is a rude comment from someone else when you are out eating a meal or something like that. I've had that happen (the comment was actually made in French and the lady translated it for me). Hopefully that won't happen to you.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I wrote a rather lengthy reply to this thread and then re-evaluated what I wanted to include. I'm going to give it some more thought and reply again shortly, perhaps after my vacation! Definitely a good topic though, and something I grapple with frequently.

 

 

Nathalie, I read it before you re-evaluated. And I was going to comment that I couldn't have said it better. I struggled with it early as I'm sure lots do. Both parties are extremely vulnerable and emotions can and do run high. Afteral if you see someone more than a couple of times you must like something about them.

 

Balance is the key to everything and finding ones balance here is pretty crucial. Though a little confusion once in awhile has some merit.

 

Peace

MG

[AndyRew 100]

I do believe that money can be a huge issue for those who become caught up with regularly seeing SP's. I personally have never paid for a provider as I have only had one encounter and from there we only go for dinner together when she comes into town as we have developed a friendship together where it is mutually beneficial.

 

Finding that line or agreeing to put aside so much a week/month for those who can afford it and sticking to it is most likely the best way to handle your money in a reasonable manner without going overboard.