SamanthaEvans

I'm not sure what you're asking. Outcalls are when I go out to meet the client at his location. Incalls are when the client meets me where I am. Or are you asking about something else?

This topic could overlap with several others, but I think it deserves its own thread.

I have a client with a physical disability. He's paraplegic, in a wheelchair. He can stand up, but he doesn't walk. He's fully functional and a lot of fun to be with. My incall location isn't wheelchair accessible. The first time I saw him, we met in a hotel. I've seen him in his home four or five times since then. He's charming, great to talk to, empathetic and very kind. He's also a great lover.

When he first contacted me, he asked whether I catered to special needs and explained his disability. We spoke on the phone at length before we met. He seemed a bit shy, and I had the impression both that he's mostly seen paid companions since he became disabled and that many others had turned him down. He feels he needs more help than most women would be willing to offer, but that's not my experience at all. I can't imagine why he wouldn't make a fine partner for a good woman.

What are others' experiences of clients with disabilities? What helped? What would you do differently? What do you need to know before you meet with the client?

....in the years before i started working, I've never dated anyone under 35 (seriously) ...older men turn my crank....and 40 is the new 20 ;-)

Older men turn my crank too! Older men are so incredibly sexy and know how to please a woman. Why bother with a McDonald's hamburger when you can savour a t-bone steak. :-P

 

So much, in fact, that I clearly state on my website my preferred range of 40 to 65. I won't even consider seeing a client under the age of 30. My guard goes up and I am very cautious in even responding to men under 40.

I agree, emphatically! I always find it a little sad when a prospective client apologizes for his age. I'm in my 40s, myself, to begin with. But it's also true that older men are often more subtle, more nuanced in their eroticism. And, as I discovered years ago, they often last much longer... :razz:

There are different names for this gizmo. Apparently some call it a Wartenburg wheel. This is what I was referring to:

I think a Catherine Wheel is like the spikey thing on the heel of a cowboys boots, referred to as a spur. It's round and spikey and you can roll it over your body, creating painful/pleasureful sensations.....but a little too rough and you'll bleed.

Yes, that's the one. It looks a lot like a cross between a spur and a pizza cutter! Used with a delicate touch, it can be a lovely thing. A slightly heavier touch will puncture the skin. More than that and bleeding ensues.

Just wondering if any of the ladies use a buddy system where they call someone who they trust before a date starts with the duration of the date and a follow up call when the date has been completed to let the person know everything is ok.

Someone always knows my schedule. If I'm seeing a client at a hotel, they know which hotel, what time I'll be there and for how long. I always call to say I've left the place. They also know my incall schedule in general terms. No names, just that I have a client from 10:00 to 12:30 or whatever. I'm not as rigorous about this as an agency would be--that's my own judgment call. My friend does have access to a copy of my schedule in a password protected spreadsheet located in an online file storage site. It includes info about where I'm going and who I'm seeing.

I make a point of never being late without calling the client, if I'm meeting one, or calling my son, if I'm supposed to be at home. If I were to be half an hour late, my son knows who to call and what to do. If I'm an hour late, lots of things click into place. Fortunately, I've never had any occasion for this system to be deployed.

While our safety and security is unquestionably important, and while we shouldn't take needless risks, ever, I do want to point out that a woman is most likely to be harmed at home by her Significant Other or a family member. Much as I hate to say it, working inside as a paid companion is safer than, say.... marriage.

It's a tricky one, tying people up when you don't know them well. I'll happily cuff a client's hands behind his back, or tie him to the bedposts. I always use quick-release fasteners that he could get out of in a jiffy if he needed to. If there was a fire, for example, or if I keeled over from a heart attack.

Clients sometimes want to play BDSM games with me as the submissive. I'm willing, up to a point. Perhaps it's not surprising that a mouthy broad like me gets spanked a lot. :grin: I don't agree to bondage play with new clients, though, if I'm the one being bound. Even then, I need to be able to release myself withing seconds if I want or need to do it. I never agree to be blindfolded by anyone. No fireplay, no knives, no needles, no Catherine wheels, etc.

If someone wants to get into playing with someone who can really submit, I refer them to a dungeon, with a Dominant or Dominatrix. I have occasionally gone to such places myself, but that's very rare. The last Dominatrix I visited with a client has retired.

Ultimately, however much I may enjoy being submissive, I leave that to my real life, not to my working life, for my own safety and well-being. It is essential that the companion remains in control of the dynamics with the client and so real, genuine submission is usually not appropriate, I think.

I'm glad Canada's multiculturalism policy is paying off in terms of economic stimulus. :smile:

Good point! I might consider using something about stimulating the economy in an advertising campaign...

I for one would never rely on a phone # to decide who I will or won't see.

I agree absolutely. The phone number isn't the determining factor. Very few single things are deal breakers. All have to be considered in context. What's most important is to pay attention to wherever and whenever the client balks and to think as objectively as possible about why that might be.

Wonderful men who have never seen a paid companion and who will treat you like a queen will make mistakes. Some nightmares look like a playful picnic in the park. We have to pay attention to everything we've got. It's better to turn down someone who would be a teddy bear who leaves a nice tip than to invite the wrong guy to meet you in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Unfortunately, most women get into this profession because they're in dire straights. When you're facing having the hydro disconnected just before you're evicted from your home and you fear that your kids may be apprehended by social services, becoming one of us can be a legitimate career move. If you're very, very careful, if you really enjoy what you'll be doing, and if you're very good at it, this is a way out of that terror. But only if you can keep your head on straight and think clearly.

Ulixes, here on the West Coast, we really need one of those. Honest. We really, really need one. Ottawa is full of pervy stuff already. I mean, look at the House of Commons! But here in granola land, there are just far too few swings. I am centrally located in Vancouver, so of course this is the place....

One thing I find interesting is the underlying belief that calls from block numbers are somehow unsavory, less safe or more likely to waste your time. All callers have an equal chance of being good calls, or bad calls. Totally equal. The only thing you have going for you is your experience, translated to gut instinct. Spending time on the phone call, finding out what they are looking for and what they are like, cannot be replaced simply by knowing their phone #. [....] Knowing a phone number, over not knowing it, gives a false sense of security, all things considered.

I agree that we can't expect that knowing a phone number is going to guarantee safety. It won't. Of course the client can use a pay-as-you-go phone, too. But if the guy won't reveal his number, it does raise a red flag.

He's about to meet you. Most of us do incalls in our homes, so he may be coming to your house or apartment. He's going to have a wealth of information about you when he has that address and even more once he sets foot over the doorstep. As I always say: No matter who the client is, the companion is the one who is taking the greatest and most serious risks, always.

He knows that blocked and private numbers are unacceptable to nearly all of us. He's read the ads. He's spent a lot of time on CL before he contacted you, even if you're a high-end companion who doesn't advertise there. He does know the way things work. If he won't reveal his phone number he's asking for special treatment while he withholds one more way to set your mind at ease about him. For me, that's a screening fail, though YMMV.

Well, I like to believe that they are no competition for me either, but what do I do when they copy my ad almost word-by-word or even steal my name?

 

Because that happened a few months ago. A Chinese girl whose name was previously Donna started calling herself Anita and said that she was mature. She offered exactly the same service as I do, although she is a full-service sp.

 

Clear attempt to steal my business.

Oh, no! That's horrible, Anita! I'm so sorry! I guess you can complain to the owners of the advertising site. They're usually very helpful and they don't like this stuff, either. But what a headache to have to go through all of that!

Hugs,

sigh... The revolving imports and the bait and switch operations give prostitution a bad name! LOL :evil:

Seriously.... while several of my clients have said that they'd tried one or two of these, none have admitted returning.

I think the key is the kind of experience the client wants to have. I insist on spending at least an hour and a half with a new client. Most of my returning clients see me for just as long, often longer. I have very few one-hour meetings, and those are only with clients who've visited me before. We go out to lunch or dinner. We go shopping. We go to the art gallery (a great place for seductive murmuring and other lovely things while looking at the Dutch masters). No car dates, but there have been a few limousines. We spend hours in bed, too. Often. The point is: if you want a leisurely, sensual encounter, I'm a great bet. I do give a wonderful blowjob, if that's all a client wants. For some reason, that's rarely enough.

The Asian houses and the bait-and-switch folks are no competition to me. We're offering completely different things.

I wouldn't turn down a meeting like this! Watching porn isn't something I offer, but if the guy wants to watch the hockey game, as long as he understands that I'd consider it my professional responsibility to ensure that, after a certain point, he won't be able to see straight or remember which team he's cheering on (heck, he shouldn't be able to remember his own name), no problem!

I think we should bring back the courtesan as an honoured profession.

 

Love live and love the Courtesan!

Hear, hear! :lol:

I'm daydreaming here, but...

What if we did something very different for a change? Suppose we got a number of us together in, say, one of the Gulf Islands resorts--the ones with separate cabins, maybe--for a long weekend. We could invite clients to come and see us, all of us, for one, all-inclusive fee? They'd need to book in advance, and, depending on how many ladies are there, they'd need to book meetings with each of us (each man might meet with one of us on Friday evening, three on Saturday, one or two on Sunday or something). We could throw in some social time, be available for conversation and canoodling over dinner, drinks, meals, etc. And everyone could play. A lot.

It wouldn't be like a stag party or frat house event. Unless some folks wanted to do that and some of the ladies were interested in it, that is. We could make it as up-scale and exclusive or as moderate as we like. We ladies work hard doing what we do best. The clients get to spend time with more than one of us. We all get along nicely....

If it's done right, we could easily skirt any legal headaches. Swingers' clubs do this kind of thing all the time, after all.

It would be expensive. To take full advantage of it would probably require some planning for most, but still.....

What do you think?

Thanks, everyone!

ATH, I think there's something wrong with my thermostat--it got really hot in here very suddenly. Couldja take a look and see if it needs repair? :twisted:

I'm in Vancouver, too. Lately, most of my new clients have been visitors from out of town.

Judging from my clients, it's not about whether they could find a partner for an intimate encounter. They could, most of them, easily. It's more about finding the right person for the kind of experience they want to have without having to deal with the expectations and complications of having a "relationship" outside their marriages. The few single men I've seen seem not to have time for an ongoing relationship, but they do want company and very good sex without having to "audition" for it with a lot of dating or courtship-type things that they're not interested in.

Sometimes, I think it's also that older men with disposable income, whether they're single or not, are pragmatic about doing the math. As one of my regular clients likes to point out, he can spend $500-$600 with me, once a month, and know he's going to have a very satisfying experience in all ways. I'll invest a lot of time and energy in planning in our engagement. If he dates someone, he'll spend a lot more money and may get a much lower return on his investment, so to speak. If he's looking for someone to settle down with, dating or having an affair is a good way to find out what the reality of an ongoing relationship can be like. But he's not. And so I'm a very good deal! :wink:

What an interesting topic!

At some times in some cultures, courtesans were valued members of society and there was a lot of competition to be particular courtesans' patrons. Some women were considered to be quite powerful, or influential, in their own right because of the company they kept. Even so, courtesans were never entirely respectable.

Things have changed. Marriage is understood differently from the days when it was seen as an arrangement that was more about social class, property and money than today's ideal of a loving, sustaining intimate relationship.

As things stand, this industry thrives on secrecy, for good or ill. While some women may be less upset with their spouses engaging the services of paid companions than they would if they were having an affair with someone, lots of others would say that making distinctions is just splitting hairs.

Speaking as a courtesan/companion, it is hard, sometimes, not to be able to tell a close friend about an incident that encourages me to see myself, another person or life differently--the very things I may want to talk over with someone I trust. Fortunately, CERB is a big help in that respect. Even so, I can never, ever tell anyone who my clients are or have been. I think that, if one isn't comfortable with being and keeping a secret, this is a very, very difficult career.

I reach orgasm easily, but I actually prefer to wait for it a lot of the time. I can have an easy one, soon, but if things are right, I'll have a good, hard one if I can keep getting close, backing off, a little closer, slow down, just a bit more... you get the picture.

I never fake them because I don't have trouble having them. Situations where I might be tempted to fake an orgasm are with guys who really don't care whether I have one or not. No need to fake it with them!

Would you be in favor of a "One-Stop Information Section", as suggested?

 

Furthermore, perhaps the initial draft could be developed within the Providers only section. The draft could than be presented to the hobbiest for comment with the final version posted permanently for everyones benefit.

 

And if I may, further suggest, that the link be made available to Providers to add to their personal advertisement page.

I think it's a good idea, Tigerclaw. There are several ways to do it, I'm sure.

I'm taking a few days off--a real holiday for a change! I will think about this while I'm gone.

Mod's opinion is important, too, of course! What do you think, Mod?

Thank you all for your participation in and contributions to this thread. That we can have a sensible discussion about things that affect all of us is one of the very best things about CERB.

However, I must say, with all due respect, friends, that if everyone really knew the things we've pointed out here and elsewhere, a lot of the discussions I was grumbling about wouldn't happen, or perhaps wouldn't be so long and involved.

For example, with no offense meant to anyone, I'd like to point to the discussion about what a client should do with his wallet when he visits a companion. Everyone should be careful with their valuables wherever they are. That's axiomatic, I think. But the long discussion in that thread largely revolves around the false assumptions that not only is the client the one who has the most to lose and who is at greatest risk when he sees a companion, but also that companions are likely to be thieves. Unsubstantiated, anonymously-made allegations about unnamed companions are cited as evidence or proof that the concern is legitimate and pressing.

Of course, not everyone is honest. It's true that some people may not resist the temptation to take what doesn't belong to them, given the chance. It's also true that people are sometimes negligent and misplace things, even though they're sure they haven't. (I've returned a couple of watches and a cell phone in the last few weeks.)

Maybe some of the suspicion and at times thinly-veiled hostility that runs through the threads I've referred to is a product of a society that considers sex to be wrong, dirty or sinful. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that most of our clients are married men and quite a few of them feel guilty about what they're up to. It could be something else.

My point is that I'm not really preaching to the choir. These topics are under discussion because some of us need to report on the things that have happened to us, often with clients whom we've screened the best ways we know. On the other side, clients also want to report experiences they've had where they felt they didn't get what they expected. If we all had the same expectations and assumptions, our experiences would be more alike and we'd have less to complain about.