Limerick challenge

[omehgosh 736]

Dude!!! That's freakin' hilarious! You rock!!!

 

(I tried to give you some well-deserved points for that, but it said I had to spread them around... somebody give the man some more points! LOL)

 

Old Angus was a man quite well built,

He was a wonder to see in his kilt,

But Beth never thought,

That this magnificent Scot,

Had a swordlength including the hilt.

 

She frightenedly gasped,"I'm too wee!!!

Your willy's too long, three foot three!!!"

But Angus just smiled,

And said, "No, my wee child,

That's to scare off the English, you see."

 

Then Angus removed this disguise,

And revealed to Beth's waiting eyes,

The source of his pride,

That was nearly as wide,

As one of Beth's creamy white thighs!!!!

 

The sight of which, caused Beth a fright,

"You'll no get that in me tonight!"

And again Angus smiled,

And said, "No, my wee child,

It's no what you think at first sight."

 

Now Beth was beginning to think,

That Angus had a really wee dink,

But she was soon to discover,

That her new Gaelic lover,

Had an ideal sized phallus, all pink.

 

Then she wondered just what she had seen,

And came to conclusion, obscene,

She said, OH MY GOD!!!

'Twas a lamb on your rod!!!!!"

And her ivory skin turned pale green.

 

But Angus could see this upset,

And said to the lass, "Don't you fret!

What you saw 'neath my kit,

Was a wrap, freshly knit,

Cuz the weather up here's cold and wet."

 

And he quickly allayed all her fears,

Then he looked at her face, wet with tears,

And Beth said, " I'm an ass,

Please forgive this wee lass?"

And he said that he would, raising cheers.

 

When nothing was left to be said,

They forsook his tiny sized bed,

And ran nude together,

For a romp in the heather,

In a glen near his family homestead.

 

Well, they romped and they played for an hour,

And Angus did quickly lose power,

Though he came more than thrice,

The thought of this vice,

Had turned his mood really quite sour.

 

So back to his home they did walk,

With nary a word said, no talk.

Until Beth did state,

"For an hour, my rate,

Is 400 for touching your cock."

 

Old Angus paid Beth her due,

And then sadly, he bid her adieu.

But the tears in his eyes,

Were not for thoughts of her sighs,

But for the money he'd spent from his shoe.

 

Oh Old Angus will not say a peep,

But his secret we should never keep,

When you make a CERB plan,

Just be a CERB man,

Don't prepare by fucking a sheep!!!!!

[WhaWhaWha 101]

There was a Young Lady whose chin,

Resembled the point of a pin;

So she had it made sharp,

And purchased a harp,

And played several tunes with her grin

 

Additional Comments:

Linda Blair with great favour confessed,

She'd been exorcised, thus finding rest,

But her priest's payment she lacked

So her demon came back

and now the poor girl's repossessed.

 

Additional Comments:

There was a young lass from Australia

Who painted her ass like a Dahlia

The shape it was fine

And the color devine

But the aroma--well, that was a faihlia