Limerick challenge

[Guest s******ecan****]

OK all you budding poets of mirth and mayhem. Take your best shot at producing a humurous Limerick for the reading pleasure of our fine community.

 

Anyone can submit so long as you follow the 4 rules below

 

1) Must be in authentic limerick format.

2) no racist or intolerant content.

3) do not use an SP or CERB member's handle (other than your own) without permission in the limerick.

4) in a effort (albeit imperfect) to ensure "no plagiarism" you must include the word CERB somewhere in your limerick.

[antlerman 17064]

Oh...this is going to be a fun thread........:lol:

 

When the wether is hot and sticky,

tis not the time for dunking dickie,

when the frost is on the pumkin,

that is the time for dickie dunkin.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... you must include the word CERB somewhere in your limerick.

 

Review boards can be far from su-Perb;

There are boards that quite plainly per-Terb.

But for naughtily nice,

There's one board will suffice --

I recommend it without re-Cerb!

[antlerman 17064]

oopsa missed CERB......

[Guest c******n****h]

when you're looking for someone to fuck

or simply to get your dick sucked

and you live in the burb

get online with CERB

you won't end up down on your luck

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

On edge from too much masturbation?

Rejection's cruel exacerbation?

Call your true lady-love

And slip on your best glove

For soothingly safe approbation!

[VedaSloan 119179]

On edge from too much masturbation?

Rejection's cruel exacerbation?

Call your true lady-love

And slip on your best glove

For soothingly safe approbation!

 

Haha, WIT, I think I love you.

[Old Dog 179138]

I was new to the board, no one greener,

And the girl in the ad, none had seen her.

Met nude at the door,

My jaw dropped to the floor,

'Cuz her clit was as big as my wiener!

[VedaSloan 119179]

I was new to the board, no one greener,

And the girl in the ad, none had seen her.

Met nude at the door,

My jaw dropped to the floor,

'Cuz her clit was as big as my wiener!

 

I'm a fickle creature, now I must say I think I love YOU Old Dog.

 

That was fabulous! Honestly, I almost spewed iced tea everywhere.

[Old Dog 179138]

I'm a fickle creature, now I must say I think I love YOU Old Dog.

 

That was fabulous! Honestly, I almost spewed iced tea everywhere.

 

 

Erin... it was a little weak but I was under a self imposed 3 minute time limit. Oh yeah... when you read the words "the board", I spelled it in a different language... it's pronounced "CERB"

[VedaSloan 119179]

Erin... it was a little weak but I was under a self imposed 3 minute time limit.

 

Admirable. I wonder what you might come up with given a longer time limit :)

[Old Dog 179138]

I will have to go into pensive mode and create....

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I once knew lady-twins from Belgrade;

In stilettos they swayed and sashayed.

Whether Serb or Cerb-Slavs,

They did nothing by halves --

So let's all cast our votes for free trade!

 

I'm a fickle creature ...

 

Dang, I didn't know what I had 'til it was gone ...

[PistolPete 61421]

My name is Pete,

I love ladies labia meat,

It is fun and neat,

to pleasure my lady into heat,

I'm never get disturbed when

I'm licking a wonderful lady from CERB

[Cato 160314]

There was a young Cerbite named Cato

Who loved to administer DATO.

He'd lick and he'd thrust,

Till she came, 'twas a must,

Then he'd flip her over and mate-o.

[Seymour 3970]

There was a young Cerbite named Cato

Who loved to administer DATO.

He'd lick and he'd thrust,

Till she came, 'twas a must,

Then he'd flip her over and mate-o.

 

Alternate ending:

 

There was a young Cerbite named Cato

Who loved to administer DATO.

He'd lick and he'd thrust,

Till she came, 'twas a must,

Then he'd immortalize her with a reco :mrgreen:

[Cato 160314]

Most excellent, Seymour!

[antlerman 17064]

There was a young Cerbite named Cato

Who loved to administer DATO.

He'd lick and he'd thrust,

Till she came, 'twas a must,

Then he'd flip her over and mate-o.

 

Alternate ending:

 

There was a young Cerbite named Cato

Who loved to administer DATO.

He'd lick and he'd thrust,

Till she came, 'twas a must,

Then he'd immortalize her with a reco :mrgreen:

 

 

OUSTANDING!!!!!!!:grin:

 

someof the best I have ever read......:bowdown:

[ekimout 188]

There once was a man named Dick

Who thought he had quite the stick

But the women were slightly perturbed

As he would only search on CERB

Hoping to show them a trick

[Mikeyboy 27111]

There once was a boy-name of Mikey.

Whose boredom you’ve not seen the likey!

Once searched the wrong verb,

landed somehow on cerb,

And now has sex to soothe his psyche!

[VedaSloan 119179]

I once knew lady-twins from Belgrade;

In stilettos they swayed and sashayed.

Whether Serb or Cerb-Slavs,

They did nothing by halves --

So let's all cast our votes for free trade!

 

 

 

Dang, I didn't know what I had 'til it was gone ...

 

It's okay, that last one brought me back :)

[Mc Lovin 797]

'twas sitting at home feeling perverted

mine urges could not be diverted

I got up my nerve, consulted cerb,

now on my way to meet a lady, crisis averted.

[Old Dog 179138]

Amongst our fair maidens, a winner,

With a penchant for Mexican dinner,

But oh our fair Cindy,

Just a little too windy,

Is CERB?s only jet propelled spinner.

and....

With promises sweet, hot and sticky,

I booked with Notorious Nicki,

CERB rated her highly,

And now I?m quite smiley,

She did fabulous things with my dicky!

and...

There once was a man, his name Larry,

On CERB he would constantly tarry,

His only pursuit,

Were pleasures hirsute,

Oh how he loved his courtesans hairy!!!!

and last for today...

A CERB banished girl, quite a shrew,

Had filled her vagina with glue,

She said, with a grin,

?If they pay to get in,

They will pay to get out of me too!?

bwahahahahhahhah

[VedaSloan 119179]

Amongst our fair maidens, a winner,

With a penchant for Mexican dinner,

But oh our fair Cindy,

Just a little too windy,

Is CERB?s only jet propelled spinner.

and....

With promises sweet, hot and sticky,

I booked with Notorious Nicki,

CERB rated her highly,

And now I?m quite smiley,

She did fabulous things with my dicky!

and...

There once was a man, his name Larry,

On CERB he would constantly tarry,

His only pursuit,

Were pleasures hirsute,

Oh how he loved his courtesans hairy!!!!

and last for today...

A CERB banished girl, quite a shrew,

Had filled her vagina with glue,

She said, with a grin,

?If they pay to get in,

They will pay to get out of me too!?

bwahahahahhahhah

 

Those last two were quite amazing.

[Andee 220524]

Amongst our fair maidens, a winner,

With a penchant for Mexican dinner,

But oh our fair Cindy,

Just a little too windy,

Is CERB’s only jet propelled spinner.

and....

With promises sweet, hot and sticky,

I booked with Notorious Nicki,

CERB rated her highly,

And now I’m quite smiley,

She did fabulous things with my dicky!

and...

There once was a man, his name Larry,

On CERB he would constantly tarry,

His only pursuit,

Were pleasures hirsute,

Oh how he loved his courtesans hairy!!!!

and last for today...

A CERB banished girl, quite a shrew,

Had filled her vagina with glue,

She said, with a grin,

“If they pay to get in,

They will pay to get out of me too!”

bwahahahahhahhah

 

Where do you come up with these??? Remember you're not supposed to mention CERB members' names but those were priceless!

 

Additional Comments:

A madam operated a house of ill repute

It was the best in the city - no dispute

Frequented by politicians and many others

Men of reputation were found beneath the covers

Since they paid, they didn't need to be cute

 

This is harder than I thought!!!