Brad 49548 Report post Posted August 14, 2013 It's always bugged me that traditionally women are to be "protected" from sex whereas with men it's encouraged. Specifically, the stereotype of the father who protects his daughter like she's a forbidden treasure not to be spoiled but would high-five his son for his "conquests". I mean, just think how many or how many times it's the plot of a sitcom? It's pretty ingrained in most cultures. Obviously I'm not saying parents don't need to be somewhat wary or protective at all, just that there seems to be a double standard. Anyway, I thought this article on one father's perspective was very refreshing: http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/brand-dear-daughter-i-hope-you-have-awesome-sex/ 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted August 14, 2013 It's because for a very long time women WERE considered the father's property, and if she was "sullied" she'd be almost worthless in those terms. So protecting the daughter's virginal state was important -- not so much for HER sake, but for the benefit of the family that "owned" her and was counting on marrying her off profitably someday. The idea of the woman as property has been mostly (mostly!) glossed over these days, but the wedding transaction still has some of those anachronistic elements in plain sight -- the father still "gives away" the bride to her new owner after all. (Were I in that circumstance, I hope I'd tell my father to mind his own business and give myself away, thanks very much.) The conservative elements in our culture still cling to these hopeless and backward attitudes in the form of "cherished traditions". It's nice to see the dad in the article with a level head. I like his approach. Arm your children with good judgement. When it's time, have some frank and non-creepy, unashamed talks with them about sexuality, its psychological context, and its pitfalls as well as rewards. And build a relationship such that you don't constantly impose your "help" and "advice", but your kids still know they can come to you those times they decide they need it. Then they can enter relationships and sexual situations with their eyes open... and you need to trust them to use that judgement on their own behalf. Inspecting every prospective partner and presuming to bestow a "guess I'll leave the shotgun over there this time" approval will just cause a daughter to hide her boyfriends as long as she can. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
