dirkgently 1778 Report post Posted October 15, 2009 I need some advice on a personal issue, hopefully with all the experience here some one will have wisdom to share. I have fallen in love with my sister in law. For a while I though it was just a healthy dose of lust, but I'm positive I love her. Problem is I still love my wife (they are sisters) and would never do anything to ruin our relationship or hurt her (she knows I am a hobbiest and encourages it). If it was just sex, my wife may feel a bit creepy about it being her sister but would recognize it was just sex. This is different, it is actual romantic want to spend my life with you love, the same I have for my wife. On my sister in law's part, I think there is definitely attraction, but she would never even consider doing anything that would hurt her sister. But I can't stop thinking about her. I'm a grown man and I feel like a teenager. What do I do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Joepaco 100 Report post Posted October 15, 2009 Dude, what a mess....I would say that it's just lust, specially if you are still in live with your wife....plus if she knows you are a hobbyst, and allows it, that would be reason enough to stay with her. I had an attratction like that before, but in retrospective and after contriolling my urge, I feel I did the right thiing..... Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted October 15, 2009 Absolutely nothing you can do. You'll have to suffer through the wanting something phase and hopefully you can get to the appreciative having another person you can love part. I don't really see any other happy ending here. It will suck in the short term since it's obviously an all-consuming emotion right now, but you've got to think long term. There is a greater potential that you'll lose both of them if you act on your immediate feelings. My 2 cents for what it's worth... Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted October 15, 2009 I agree with bugger.....my question is at this time...is the feeling the feeling of not beraing able to have her make the "love" feeling that much stronger?....something more to think about Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jackie James 215 Report post Posted October 15, 2009 I need some advice on a personal issue, hopefully with all the experience here some one will have wisdom to share. I have fallen in love with my sister in law. For a while I though it was just a healthy dose of lust, but I'm positive I love her. Problem is I still love my wife (they are sisters) and would never do anything to ruin our relationship or hurt her (she knows I am a hobbiest and encourages it). If it was just sex, my wife may feel a bit creepy about it being her sister but would recognize it was just sex. This is different, it is actual romantic want to spend my life with you love, the same I have for my wife. On my sister in law's part, I think there is definitely attraction, but she would never even consider doing anything that would hurt her sister. But I can't stop thinking about her. I'm a grown man and I feel like a teenager. What do I do? NOTHING!!!! You'll ruin more than three lives if you pursue this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted October 15, 2009 I'm a grown man and I feel like a teenager. What do I do? It's okay to feel like a teenager. But usually it's vastly preferable NOT to act like one. My two cents. Cheers, Wrinkled Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jdstar 1065 Report post Posted October 15, 2009 Grow up. This is not the situation to explore your feelings of lust. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest s******ecan**** Report post Posted October 15, 2009 You stand at a precipice where if you act on your feelings towards your sister in law you'll be stepping into an abyss. No good can come from acting on these feelings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pjrd 324 Report post Posted October 15, 2009 you`re getting really good advice here. hopefully you pay attention to it and be strong. absolutely nothing good will come from this if you persue your desires. you already have the best of both worlds. what`s wrong with you ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest e**m***h Report post Posted October 15, 2009 I guess asking for advice at least indicates you are trying to sort this out - better than just leaping ahead. I have to agree with the others. You are in harm's way here and placing other people in emotional jeopardy too. Have you considered discussing this with somebody professionally trained - somebody who can listen in a balanced way to what you are going though and help support you and work out your emotional state so everybody stays healthy? Might be a good use of your time and money. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest C**Tra****er Report post Posted October 16, 2009 I've been in a very similar situation in the past, and as others have said, no good can come from acting on your feelings. Many years ago my GF (at the time) and I were very close friends with her best friend and her husband. My gf and her best friend had been friends since childhood and had started working together. All of us became very good friends - we always hung out together and got together several times a week just to have drinks and chat. Over the course of a summer, I helped them build their dream home, I invested as much time into this home as anyone did, it almost felt like it was mine too! Life was great, always good times and great friends. These were the friends who were always there to help without asking. What i didn't realize at that time was that I was falling in love with my gf's best friend. She had so many of the qualities that ilook for in a woman, intelligence, humor, kind and man was she gorgeous! I initially didn't have any intentions of acting on my feelings... She was married to one of my good friends, the best friend of my gf, and I wasn't single. I was torn... I thought that she might have feelings toward me, but who wants to screw up two relationships... I didn't want that guilt to carry around. After a couple if months, I broke down... We were all drinking on night in the new house, and she and I went out to the garage to get some more liquor out of the fridge.. I gave in to my desires and kissed her. As I had hoped she felt the same way! We fooled around a bit and went back into the house... No one was any the wiser. The thing that got me was the guilt.... Two of my best friends and my gf and I had betrayed them all. My gf and I broke up acouple of months later.... I think her best friend told her what happened, obviously their friendship was very strong as they are still friends now, many years later. The other couple split up a few months later, although they never said why. I didn't miss my gf, but I do miss the friendships that I lost... They were really good friends. The moral here is don't give in to infatuation, there is so much to lose if you do. As others have mentioned, talking to a professional can help too... it often help to have someone impartial to listen and bounce ideas off of. Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted October 16, 2009 Don't do it. Put her in your spank bank and move on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S***e Report post Posted October 16, 2009 I wouldn't act on this or pursue it in any way. Consider the consequences and that should be enough reason why you should keep you relationship with your wife in tact. Just think about it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted October 16, 2009 .............. Put her in your spank bank and move on. now that is advice....and a classic..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d*mm*y 887 Report post Posted October 16, 2009 Don't do it. Put her in your spank bank and move on. At least in the spank bank she is who you imagine her to be, I am 100% sure that if you were able by some miracle to make the switch that you would realize half of the feelings you had about her were the way you imagined it and the not the reality. At this point you have the puppy love thing going on, you have painted a picture of a future with this woman and have no idea if she would be in agreement, let alone the variations in your heads on how that would play out. Yes if she follows your road map everything will be great but reality will set in, you will learn she leaves the lid of the tooth paste demands that you put your razor away to make more room on the counter top for her creams and potions etc... Thanks for asking the question but I think you already knew the answer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sexnonstop724 1727 Report post Posted October 16, 2009 Personally I think you are doomed. This attraction to things you can't have is so strong, especially she is so close that you really can't run away and avoid. Take your wife and move away. Put some distance between the temptation. Otherwise, my guess is, you will act on your feelings sooner or later. Plan B, your wife seems very open minded, speak to her about this attraction, if nothing else, she deserves the truth. Maybe thru this conversation, a solution might arise. But bottling up this desire is going to eventually tear you apart from your love ones. My point is, you have to do something, inaction will not solve this problem. You have to start by bringing it out in the open. Nonstop724 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dirkgently 1778 Report post Posted October 17, 2009 I just wanted to thank everyone for the advise. With the exception of the bit of unexpected animosity it was very helpful. As was noted, I probably already knew the answer, just needed some help realizing it. Thanks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slurp 7020 Report post Posted October 17, 2009 Fuck. This reminds me of my ex-wife's hillbilly crew. Aunt Pearl (yes, her real name) dated brothers Paul and Earl .... married Paul (the nicer and more sober of the 2) and they had 5 kids and a decent life. Turns out she was screwing Earl here and there and finally tore the nice family apart when she decided to marry Earl. Mind you, Earl had been married to Elvira, had a kid, divorced her and then re-married Elvira. All this while porking his brother's wife and then marrying her after the 2nd divorce from Elvira. Oh yeah, my ex told me after our divorce how she had a crush on her cousin (who was Paul and Pearl's oldest son). I shit you not, every word of this is true ..... and since we've been divorced for 27 years there is probably a lot of updates I missed LOL Not sure how useful that was to the OP but it shows inter-family romance is pretty fucked up. Funny as hell to outsiders but yikes!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted October 18, 2009 now that is advice....and a classic..... and I totally got it from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted October 18, 2009 Don't do it. Put her in your spank bank and move on. I agree with you 100% Erin, just forget about it and move on! Not worth the disasterous trail you will leave behind you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ragnaglar 440 Report post Posted October 19, 2009 trainwreck!!!!!! all the kids were wrecked no one is married to the other and everyone required therapy! as for your relationship to your SO, that is yours to figure out. all anyone can really say is goodluck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
