The Quest to Become a Better Lover

[GHT 798]

I started out hobbying last year with 2 objectives in mind.

#1 Find the sexual adventure and intimacy missing in my life.

#2 Learn to be a better lover (ie please all women to the max).

 

Objective #1 is fulfilled in my mind. I've met lots of lovely ladies and had great and even completely mesmerizing experiences. Its been just what the doctor ordered.

 

Regarding objective #2, I'd say I've learned quite a bit, however I can't help but think I can do better, and hence this post.

 

In an effort to please the ladies I do what you would expect. I show up for the date hygienic and looking my best. Then some nice chat to hopefully put us both of us at ease. In the heat of the action I try to be very attentive. I watch for facial expressions, body language and listen for verbal queues. I make stuff happen, I don't just lie there. I know I've done a good job if the lady is smiling and resembles quivering jello at the end of the session. However that's not always the case. Here's why:

 

Sometimes if you ask what the lady likes, she says "what ever you like, I'm here to please you".

Sometimes the lady isn't into it as much as you would hope.

Some ladies are hard to read.

Sometimes we don't communicate well.

Sometimes ladies give you non-genuine feedback.

Sometimes what works for one lady may not work for another.

I've never received negative feedback (not surprising, its probably bad for business).

It seems the best relationships are the ones with the fewest issues.

 

So I'm asking myself, how do I become an even better lover. My current thinking is to simply do what I've been doing , however concentrate my efforts on the very select few ladies that I really get along with. Try to see these favorites more regularly at the expense of seeing as many new ladies. Continue to build the relationship and really work to please these particular women. Hopefully this will translate into some skills and knowhow. I know its going translate into lots of fun LOL.

 

So what do you think? Do you guys share this quest to please women? If so, what do you do to maximize your learning?

SPs, I'm sure you have valuable input on this subject. I hope to hear from you as well.

 

Have a Great Day,

 

GHT

[pjrd 324]

sounds like you`re doing it all right. Maybe stop being so critical of yourself and relax. You can`t be it all with everyone all the time that`s way too much pressure. It`s also about your pleasure you know and since you are paying maybe you should enjoy the sessions a bit more and stop trying to be the best lover in the world. That`s a very tall order.

different ladies enjoy different things and there is no generic way to please them all.

[Guest Sexy Nina Leone]

Wow!

 

I have to say how lovely it is to read this... and how much I see this kind of attitude with my clients.

 

It truly is WONDERFUL being in a profession where everyone shows up wanting to be their very best!

 

I love exploring and helping my client find new thrills and new adventures.. We are alive here for such a short time, lets make the most of it!!!

 

 

:)

xoxo

Nina

[GHT 798]

sounds like you`re doing it all right. Maybe stop being so critical of yourself and relax. You can`t be it all with everyone all the time that`s way too much pressure. It`s also about your pleasure you know and since you are paying maybe you should enjoy the sessions a bit more and stop trying to be the best lover in the world. That`s a very tall order.

different ladies enjoy different things and there is no generic way to please them all.

 

Good points.

 

Just to clarify, I don't go into sessions trying to be the best lover in the world, thats just setting an unrealistic expectation and would cause disappointment. I'm relaxed and definitely not critical of myself.

I make the best of any situation and have come out of 95% of sessions a very happy camper. Like I said, things are good.

 

I'm coming at this from an educational point of view.

Its in my geeky nature to ask questions and learn what I can.

 

GHT

[whatsup 11893]

While I consider myself as no Picasso of Love, but what I like is to have a provider that will guide me through our encounter so I can attempt to make it a great experience for the both of us.

 

To be coached in the art of love making is what I really desire and have requested such, as I don't want it to seem as a Wam, Bam Thank You Maam encounter.

 

I have communicated about learning new techniques with different providers and some have been very willing to provide that guidance which to me makes for a super encounter.

[GHT 798]

Wow!

 

I have to say how lovely it is to read this... and how much I see this kind of attitude with my clients.

 

It truly is WONDERFUL being in a profession where everyone shows up wanting to be their very best!

 

I love exploring and helping my client find new thrills and new adventures.. We are alive here for such a short time, lets make the most of it!!!

 

 

:)

xoxo

Nina

 

Well said. These adventures are a shared experience. I don't think you can have an outstanding time without both parties being at their best.

 

GHT

[TracieGold 282]

Horny Toad, you are working too hard baby!!!

This activity does not suppose to be a stressful one in where you have to prove to yourself how good you were or how good you are becoming.

Sexual encounters with different partners will provide you with enough feedback, however, EVERY ONE IS DIFFERENT....some ladies will adore you for doing this or that, and other ladies wont.....

I think you have to question yourself "why you want to become a Casanova with all the skills to please every woman?"

Are you pleasing yourself? Great, then, learn what different partners want "genuinely" to share with you about their personal satisfaction, and then learn to read the signs...nevertheless, I really think that if we SP's had to ask this question to ourselves the answer will be an impossible one, why? because the trend may be similar, but the personalities are all different like fingerprints.

I commend you for your efforts and I wish you could clarify to yourself the "why"of your search....

You are great!

Much love

Tracie:roll:

[GHT 798]

While I consider myself as no Picasso of Love, but what I like is to have a provider that will guide me through our encounter so I can attempt to make it a great experience for the both of us.

 

To be coached in the art of love making is what I really desire and have requested such, as I don't want it to seem as a Wam, Bam Thank You Maam encounter.

 

I have communicated about learning new techniques with different providers and some have been very willing to provide that guidance which to me makes for a super encounter.

 

No one likes to admit they could use coaching, ones ego would take a hit.

However I'm sure you can learn some things if you get over it.

 

I've also thought of playing games. Like - I'll be the obedient sex slave and you be the master. Some ladies I know would be right into it. Haven't done it yet since I would need to be prepared to be taken outside my comfort zone.

 

GHT

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Your on the right track. Settle down with one or two regular ladies and explore sexuality together. You also need to learn about yourself and our own sexuality to become a good lover.

 

If having the lady get off being with you is important then stick with low-volume indy's. If your the third or forth guy a lady has seen that day then I doubt the most skilled Casanova could get her off. Some of the ladies here are this low volume type.

 

Also, don't forget this is a business for the ladies and they are seeing you because you set the appointment, not necessarily because they are in the mood. They have lives, ups and downs, good days and bad.

 

Finally don't discount 'chemistry' and 'clicking' in terms of your personalities. The best sex organ is always the mind. I also find humour works wonders.

[Guest S**a*Q]

I think the important part of being a good lover, is not necessarily the physical connection, or what to do physically, but more how to read people. Everyone is different, likes different things, and will relate to something in a different manner, based on their background.

 

I consider myself a good lover, but a blow job is a blow job... I think it's what goes with that blow job, how we react to giving it and how we bond with the other person on a mental level, not just physical. I think listening and talking with the person you're with is what's important.

 

Every sexual experience with someone will take a different path as we are always growing that way, based on our relationships with other.

 

Best way is talk, talk and more talk, well maybe not with a mouthful LOL!

[andflemcol 3975]

The pleasure I receive is the pleasure I give.

 

No its not an ego thing. I know this because my pleasure is judged not on the physical component of the encounter but on the entire encounter. My pleasure is derived from knowing that we enjoyed each other for the hour long appointment and even after.

 

Judge Andy

[daddio 2704]

This is a good post.

 

It discusses the sometimes fragile ego of many men in the field of sexual encounters and puts it squarely in the context of the client - SP relationship.

 

I don't doubt for a minute that every man would love to be able to reduce his partner to a quivering mass of ecstatic jello.

 

So we may need a reality check from time to time.

 

I agree completely that it is making a connection through the brain that brings the most pleasure and satisfaction. The physical sexual activity enhances that connection, particularly when it includes basic simple demonstrations of intimacy and affection such as kissing and embracing and lying in someone's arms while talking.

 

And so, of course, it ultimately depends on who you are with on the occasion of any such encounter.

 

Which is why, I guess, we have the acronym YMMV.

 

A very wise and insightful SP cautioned me not to look for "the impossible partner". That is the best advice I have ever had.

[mrgreen760 37785]

For me it's always been about the whole experience. I had to overcome my own insecurites and performance anxiety and with the help of a kind, sweet and patient pleasure practioner I think I have. There was a mental connection before there was a physical connection and I believe that's what made the difference.

 

Each visit has been better than the one before, our comfort with each other has grown and I expect our times together will become even more pleasurable as we learn about how our bodies react to each other and share and communicate.

 

Peace

[Seymour 3970]

It is a very tall order to please everyone, every time. So give the ladies special credit for being able to read a person or situation and assist with a particular fantasy and allow one to leave with a smile on one's face. That isn't always easy.

 

Experiences with one person (over multiple encounters) can vary from physical and intense to more intimate and cerebral - based on factors like mood, stress, timing etc. There is a time and place and need for both.

 

Bottom line - don't think too much, enjoy the moment and each other and the rest will fall into place.

[buggernot 588]

I've been with a few girls that were drop dead gorgeous and really cool to boot...and they didn't do anything for me. My perspective is that it's all about chemistry.

 

Totally helps to have an open mind and some experience, but if you have chemistry and - more importantly - can communicate, that's when you find the pleasure starts. I love working a girl's g-spot, but every so often I come across someone who doesn't get anything off that. Takes a bit longer to recognize it if I'm not told anything ;)

[GHT 798]

Wow, lots of fantastic and thoughtful input. I've read it all 3 times now and its all good.

 

I've thought about Tracie's excellent question "why you want to become a Casanova"

Originally starting out, I thought becoming a Casanova would allow me to attract the woman of my dreams. This is probably a fantasy in my own mind (like superpowers HAHA).

What is more real is the fact that my best and most memorable encounters were passionate, fun and satisfying for both parties. My pleasure is the ladies pleasure very much holds true in these cases. Making more of the encounters like this is the trick.

 

I look forward to spending more time with the special ladies I've developed relationships with as well as meeting some new ones. I can't help but grow personally with such great influences.

 

Cheers to the Ladies and the CERB community,

 

GHT