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We're going to see more and more of this kind of thing in the time to come, while the courts figure out what they'll do with changes in the law. I am frankly tired of the approach this writer takes, portraying all of us as hapless victims, forced into the sex trade and unable to make appropriate decisions and choices for ourselves. That may be true for some, but it's not true for many, and I venture to say it's even less true for independent companions who work indoors--that is, most of us. About 85% of paid companions work indoors, and most of us are independent, not working for agencies, in brothels or massage parlors. We are no more likely to be drug addicts or alcoholics than other people. Sex workers with addiction issues don't do well in this industry. In most cases, their chemical dependencies are what drive them into sex work, not the other way around. I do think it's true that the majority of women enter the sex trade because of overwhelming life circumstances that make them desperate to earn money, quickly. That's certainly true for me. Like the writer of this book, I was in the midst of an acrimonious divorce and fighting to keep my children while my ex could afford lawyers and to create endless court delays. Even now, years later, he refuses to follow court orders to pay child support; I am the only one who provides for our children. When I was doing "career planning" in high school and in university, I never expected to become a paid companion, but I'm not sorry that this is what I do. I would have a much harder time living with myself, knowing that my children were not okay and that I couldn't care for them adequately simply because I refused to spend a few hours in the company of some very good and generous men. While I think my story is not at all uncommon, I know other women who work in this industry without having similar pressures and responsibilities in their lives. They love this work and actively chose this profession, not out of desperation, but as a clear, deliberate choice. Writers such as Foilleau generally portray paid companionship as degrading work with clients who are violent, abusive, angry, drunk or drugged and who have little or no genuine respect for women. This has never been my experience with any of my clients. Some I have liked much more than others; a few have become close, genuine friends. Some men I simply didn't enjoy or I couldn't form the kind of rapport with them that matters to me. But I have never been abused, threatened or placed in any kind of risk by any of the gentlemen who have visited me. Significantly, I can't say the same thing about my former husband who is a "respectable" professional with a high profile in his community. I was at much greater risk of lasting harm during my societally-approved, middle-class marriage than I have ever been with the men who have paid for my companionship. The last thing I want to say about writers like Foilleau as well as the anti-sex feminists who campaign for increased restrictions on sex workers' lives and rights is that these folks' arguments always de-humanize us. We are portrayed as unable to make responsible decisions for ourselves, ignorant of the meaning of our work and/or enthralled to patriarchy, traffickers and pimps. Therefore, they say, our own experiences are not to be believed. They claim that the statements we make about our lives are products of the traumatic abuse from which we need to be rescued and protected--against our will--because we have lost the capacity to do what's right for ourselves, our children and our families. Sensible, cautious, clean and sober, independent paid companions are not endangered by our clients anywhere nearly as much as we are by paternalistic, moralistic people like Tania Foilleau. In a misguided attempt to save women and men in the sex trade, they campaign to increase the risks for workers and our clients. One cannot save or help those whom one does not fundamentally respect. Foilleau and others like her are not our friends, they are our opponents.

Maverick - I found it offensive that you compared massage to a minimum wage job. They are absolutely not comparable! Massage is much riskier than minimum wage jobs, and there are a couple other points to consider: -We also don't get any of the protections offered to minimum wage workers under the Employment Standards in Ontario. -We also take financial risks, as most massage providers invest in their business for supplies (even if they work for a studio) and income is not guaranteed. -There is no pay if we find ourselves sick or disabled and unable to work. -We take the risk that our friends, family, and community will find out what we do, and future employment could be at risk if it's discovered we work in the sex industry. -We take legal risks. We all know about the massage parlour bust in Gatineau and that the city gives out fines to anyone operating a massage parlour without a license, including to independents! -Massage providers work harder than most minimum wage jobs. I've done several jobs, and massage is hard work! The minimum wage jobs I did when I was young were easy, but I put MY ALL into my massages. -There is also "downtime" to consider. We wash towels, clean, solicit business or deal with our managers, makeup, hair, respond to phone calls and emails, etc. We don't get paid for this time. Also, at a parlour, a woman may show up for an 8-hour shift and only see one client that whole time. Even if she makes $160 for that hour, it still only works out to $20 for the time she was there. Minimum wage workers are paid for every hour they are at work and that is required by law, even if there is downtime where there is no work. The high pay of massage providers is well-deserved. Also to add, I don't like how people can sometimes assume that the only other option to work for sex workers is minimum wage. I have a university degree and I have a unique skill that I teach. I work at one of the universities as a research assistant, and I also teach. I make $30-40/hour depending on the task. Many sex workers have the education and skills necessary to have work outside of the sex industry that is considerably above minimum wage.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/scent-womans-tears-lowers-mens-desire-20110106-123751-323.html

"Please open your eyes and see that we are all being lied to - that most of these girls do not like what they are doing and that it is all 'acting.' I'm not that great an actress! but how many people 'act' like they like their jobs in order to receive a paycheck at a square job? ha ha!

I can't believe we are even having a conversation comparing MA's to minimum wage workers and justifying not tipping a waiter/waitress. Maverick maybe you have never worked in the service industry, but your comments are disrespectful to those who do. Bottom line is that if you don't have the money to tip an MA you shouldn't visit an MA. Same as if you don't have the money to tip a server at a bar or restaurant, you shouldn't eat or drink at that bar or restaurant. Many of the MA's I have visited are beautiful, smart, intelligent women who are doing this to put themselves through school, support their family etc. Many of them expose themselves to great risks and work long hours just for the chance that they will make money. I don't think any of them would do what they do if it paid minimum wage. I learned a while ago to never judge a persons reasons for what they do until you have walked a mile in their shoes. You would be SHOCKED to find out some of the history of some of the MA's in this town. As for hospitality workers, there are cases where you receive bad service and you don't feel a tip is justified. In those cases, put yourself in the position of the server. Everyone is entitled to a bad day, and these people deal with the public day in and day out. Many of the people they deal with are drunk and rude. These people survive on tips, and that is their main source of income. When you directly impact a persons ability to make money and support themselves I would expect them to be in a bad mood and not provide the next person great service. If you get bad service it is entirely possible that the person before you didn't tip appropriately and put the person in a foul mood. Rather than continuing that why not provide an appropriate tip, or even a generous tip and see if that turns the persons mood around. It usually works for me! Bottom line, dining at restaurants, drinking at bars, and visiting MA's are all part of my lifestyle that I consider to be a premium, luxury service. If I didn't have the money for an appropriate tip in any of these cases, I wouldn't seek out any of these services. I have been lucky enough to find myself in a good financial situation, but my mamma always taught me to respect and value other people and don't assume anything about people because of the career they choose. SP2010

This has been an informative exercise. Thanks to Ottawa Adventurer for opening the dialogue. Being quite new to this whole business I wondered about this situation, myself. I now have a better understanding of how the economics of the trade work.

Thanks everyone, for your responses. My friend is not on CERB, but I have relayed the information to him. To clarify, he doesn't go to MPs specifically knowing he isn't interested in the "extras" - he just finds that sometimes he isn't interested. We were both a little surprised at the implications of not leaving a tip and only paying the door charge. So, he (and I) will now know... I, for one, don't go to an MP unless I can see in advance who I will be seeing (or based on CERB recs) so I have never refused anything.. :-) Again, thanks for everything - and thanks to all the amazing providers here in Ottawa who took the time to respond, either on the board or through PMs. Have a great day!

If Iam not mistaken, there is a law of paying minum wage, which is $10.50/hr in Ontario. So they do get a pay check at the end of the week. Dont see how you can compare a waitress and a MA. Its two total different worlds. A waitress isnt taking any chances, be it leagally or her own saftey, an MA is. Yes we all choose our jobs, but the point of this thread was asking if the girls get money if the client does not tip. The answer is most of the time they do not or recieve very little.

Ive worked in a few Mp's in Ottawa over the past 5 yrs and "door fee" does go to the owner. I worked at one place and she did give me $20 if I did a massage with no extras. But for the most part, they do not believe that you did a massage with no extras. Additional Comments: I agree $30 is much higher than minimum wage, but when you work at a MP, you DO NOT get paid by the hour. If its a dead day and you were there for 8 hours and did not see any one, then you go home with no money. Its not like a regular job, you dont get a weekly pay. So $30 is not alot of money for us. If you know the place offers only erotic or sensual massages and you not intersted in the erotic part of it, why go? Find a regular MP.

Let us know if the caucasian ad's there are bait & switch!

Communication is paramount to a mutually enjoyable encounter. For us ladies, it is different with each person we meet. I may want to jump your bones within minutes because I want the feel of you inside me or I may want to indulge in the eroticism of touch and the stimulation it brings. Each and every encounter is special and unique. There does not exist a prototype as far as I am concerned. Relaxing, communicating and attempting to read the vibes given off by your companion will create a better atmosphere than a scripted tryst. Your time with me is not a re-enactment of a porno (eventhough they are very stimulating to watch...I do so frequently) it is meant to be an enjoyable experience where we can shed our outer shells and have unhibited, spontaneous fun!

It's too bad CL is no more, because I think that's where you'd find your 'partiers', not here on Cerb.