Daniel17

Thanks for all the nominations guys & gals, you are all kinda awesome too! :D

I might be seeing Billy talent with friends! Weeeeee

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Welcome sir, I know very little, but if you ever need anything, you can PM me, and I can tell you some good knock knock jokes, and try to the best of my ability to help you as well.

But seriously, welcome! *imaginary high five*

This happened about 4 years ago, it is about the boy with autism. It is a 5 minute video, but every minute is worth it. It's something special. It makes me smile every time I see it, it never gets old.

1) A kiss on the neck, followed by whispering something into my ear...

2) Hickeys (shuddddup, they're making a comeback)

3) Lululemon

4) Long hair brushing against my skin

5) Accents.

6) Long glances followed by a devilish smile

7) Jazz hands.

8. Dirty talk (with a grade 3 vocabulary)

9) Thunderstorms (tornados too)

10) A soft giggle in my ear, not a dramatic LOL on my face! Like a very quiet giggle is what I mean. I do not mean anything that represents a Tickle Me Elmo laugh. Ugh, I hate puppets.

11) Holding hands.

12) Dim lights. Power outages are cool too. But only if my Iphone is at more then 75% battery. If not, no, I will not be able to function.

13) Girls wearing dress shirts or hoodies

14) Chocolate Fondue. Not Cheese Fondue.

15) Slow-dancing

16) A girl who drinks beer and out of the bottle.

17) A girl wearing jeans, a white t-shirt, a ponytail, and walking with confidence.

18. Rhetorical questions. So hot.

19) Vampires. Not real ones, pretend ones. I do not want to die.

20) Kissing a girl that is wearing lipsmacker. Like the one you get at Shopper's that comes with 3 flavours for $1.99.

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Additional Comments:

Thanks so much everyone for all the kind comments. It is very appreciated.

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I would never ask a girl if I could give her the money at the end because....

1) I just think it's bad etiquette

2) The lady won't be as focused now to do her "thing", as in the back of her mind, she probably will think she is going to get ripped off.

3)..... um awkward!!!

I had a poem in another thread, but the thread got deleted (not bc of my poem), lol.

I originally wrote it just to stop all the awkwardness, and so we can all be more awesome.

Anyways, here is my poem, I had to write it again tho :(, because I couldn't remember some of it & did it off the top of my head, lol.

CERB taught me threads like, "Bad Night, Turned Good" are silly

CERB makes me smile like gettin' a random wet willy.

CERB makes me smile & think happy thoughts like hip hip hooray.

CERB taught me cool terms like DATY, MSOG, and BBBJ.

CERB is like walking into to a party & making eye contact with that person you know,

CERB makes it like that winter holiday with the jolly old fellow who says HO HO HO.

CERB taught me 15 min services aren't good.

CERB helped me get use out of my wood.

CERB has taught me about SP's with perfume, and what to know.

CERB taught me about negotiating a rate..... HELL to the NO!!!

CERB educated me on how to avoid the ole bait & switch.

CERB educated me on oral, doggy, and even a little mish.

CERB taught me the deliciousness of obleas, alegrias, and Mexican cuisine.

CERB is kinda awesome frickin possum, like a bowl of jelly beans.

CERB illustrates why SP's aren't emotionless and do have a heart.

CERB illustrates why clients aren't shady, and are quite smart.

CERB taught me "chat etiquitte" and how to properly do things like "PM"

CERB is like kinda really sweet, like a bunch of chocolate M & M's.

CERB sometimes has silly threads like what came first, the chicken or the hen?

But I sometimes with they would stop, just so everyone at CERB can just be friends.

Happy Fathers Day Everyone!!!!!!!!!

(p.s. i know it's the chicken & the egg, but i cant rhyme with egg. i know... *facepalm*). Imaginary Hugs all Around :)

The best comfort food in the world is obleas or alegrias. They are like videos of cats, they make me feel so happy.

Finally back from my Vegas trip! So much fun, hadn't seen my friends from Britain in such a long time, so it was nice to finally meet up again with them. Anyways, this will be the final part of my story, hope you all enjoy it.

Part 3 - The Little Things

So I'm there at home getting ready an hour or so before my appointment. I do the usual things before seeing an escort such as

1) Getting my envelope ready with the money (yes a real envelope this time).

2) Agonize on what to wear a million times over.

3) Shower, brush my teeth, and all the other normal hygienic things.

4) Double check the location and how to get there

5) Put on a squirt of cologne (Burberry for those wondering, lol).

Anyways, so I finished up my routine and decided to browse the trusted CERB forums and stumble across the perfume/cologne discussion. I read that some SP like cologne, some hate it, and some are in-between. Ahhhhhh, what am I to do? I didn't put on much cologne, but all of a sudden am second-guessing myself thinking I put too much on.

Stupid me, then falls back on the couch in mental torture, and my eye catches something in the corner of the room on a shelf.... a spray bottle of febreeze. Idiot me, thinks, hmmmm maybe a little touch of febreeze will even it out. So I do it, and man, let me tell you this, febreeze + burberry is not a good mix.

Now, I'm fretting because I smell like furberry (febreeze + burberry). This girl is going to think I hung out at Sesame Street all day with Oscar the Grouch. So I decide to jump back into the shower, and don't ask me why but instead of using my normal body wash, I decided to use a satsuma body wash from the Body Shop. (FYI, it's not mine, lol, well it is now I guess. My ex-girlfriend from 2 months ago left it, I would have threw it out, but the smell of it is soooo good, it's like the nicotine of body washes, it's so addictive.).

So yes, I head to my appointment smelling like Satsuma. And I blame the perfume discussion for that! lol. The girl actually smelt the Satsuma too, it was a pretty good ice-breaker. Haha. Anyways, so yadayaydyayada, you all know what happens next. Great fun!

*******************************************************

Anyways, so after seeing a couple more SP's, I finally realized something. At the start I was always trying to figure out what specific things I wanted in an SP (like GFE vs PSE, spinner vs BBW, independent vs agency, incall vs outcall, young vs experienced, DFK vs LFK, BBBJ vs CBJ). In my head I thought I had the perfect SP all figured out in my head and how she should act. Well atleast I thought....

Until one night when I met this one girl we shall call "A" (to hide her identity). I then finally realized, "A" had all the these other qualities that I never even knew I wanted. She makes me smile, her laugh is horrific but contagious, into the same books as me, loves rocking out air instruments in bed, being slobby in a hotel room, and just random 4 am hysterical spooning conversations in the middle of the night.

I finally realized it's not only near impossible, but silly trying to figure out the "perfect SP" on what restrictions they may/or may not be, or what you want them to physically look like. Because what you want in an escort, might be the little less obvious things you didn't even know you wanted.

Since seeing A that one night, she's the first one I repeated. The two and half weeks before Vegas, I actually saw her 7 times, lol. The sex was obviously awesome, but it was just the little things that kept me coming back. Like the way she rubs the back of my head, conversations about silly things like Starbucks & Jersey Shore, and the one night after sex we drew pictures like we were in kindergarden, lol (I bought the colouring book and she bought the crayons, haha).

Sadly, "A" is taking a bit of a break from the escort scene, we at least got to say our good byes though, so that was a happy ending. She was there when I needed her, and didn't complain if I didn't text her for a couple days because of work, sports, etc. She was like the ideal pseudo-girlfriend (or whatever you want to call it, lol). Over the past few weeks, I've discovered a world that I never knew about and thank you all for helping me figuring it out. And to that, that's the end of my story! I hope all you all enjoyed it.

The Delta on Queen/Lyon has a lower level floor where people can walk in and go straight to the elevator. Don't quote me on this anymore because it has recently changed ownership from the Crowne Plaza a few months ago. They could have changed it but that's the way the set up is in that hotel.

I was there about two weeks ago, it is still like this. It's easily one of the most discreet.

keep up the good work! this is very useful

Sorry for the long time between parts, I just have been extremely busy with work, since I'm leaving on a flight to Las Vegas tomorrow with the boys. Secondly, and more importantly, thank you everyone for all your positive comments. You guys remind me of an orange popsicle, because you're all just so frickin' cool.

Part 2 - Awkward....

So the door opens, I walk in, the girl from the T-Swift company is wearing nothing but lingerie. I'm speechless, she is like straight out of a magazine. I don't even know what to do next. Do I give her a hug,? do I kiss her.... I decide to do neither, lol, because she is a stranger & practically naked. Can you say awkward? I should probably say something..... I say.... "Hiii, uhhhh, hi" (inside my head, "You idiot!!! What are you doing? You are probably doing this so wrong!!!).

She laughs and asks if this is my first time. All of a sudden I am like Raj on The Big Bang Theory (For those who don't watch the show, Raj has this problem where he can't speak when he is around women). I just nod my head up and down signifying, yes it is my first time. She asks how long I would like, I don't even remember and just give her the envelope. She looks at it, giggles (bc yes it was the arts & craft envelope), says this is going to be a fun hour, she puts the money away, lays on the bed and tells me to relax and get on the bed.

I lay on the bed. She laughs again, and tells me to lay on the same bed as her. The room had two beds, and yes dumb me, still afraid to even go near her, sat on the opposite bed as her. Yes, at this moment in time I was a few french fries short of a happy meal.

We finally touch each other, and by touch, I mean sitting beside each other. She asks me what I like. I still am in Raj mode, and can't say a word. I just blush. (yes, I'm that much of a tool, that I just say nothing and blush).

She put her finger on my mouth and told me to enjoy the ride. I won't get into the details, because it's pretty obvious what happens next. I will say this though, no roller coaster in Canada's Wonderland will ever compare to the ride I experienced with the lady from the T-Swift company.

So yeah, that was my first time with an escort, lol. Even though I probably screwed a million things up, I must say, I wouldn't change a thing.

***********************************

Anyways.... another stressful work week had passed, and I thought lets try it again. Now, the last girl was great, not a single bad thing to say, but I wanted to try someone new. I call, set an appointment, and say "hip hip hooray" and begin to get ready.

If you thought arts & crafts envelope was embarrassing, my preparation for this appointment was a lot more humiliating......

To be continued....

It is very cool. Are you interested enough to join us for lunch, as a social event?

Possibly, I'm very shy though lol.

I'm leaving to vegas though on Friday, so I likely will be in the office to the late hours all week before I leave :(

I will see though, this sounds really awesome

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This is pretty cool, do you guys do this often?