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mister_crufty

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Posts posted by mister_crufty

  1. Posted

    I like all y'all for putting up with me pouring out my heart and treating this website as my personal therapy session. It's really helping so thanks.

     

    My current time frame for achieving full sanity is T-minus 11 days and counting. Wish me luck Houston.

     

    Additional Comments:

     

    Ooh..and I really like Emily J. She's super nice and helpful but she never lets me get away with being an idiot and always calls me on my bullshit. I'm finally going to meet her in person! Yay!

  5. Posted

    The future belongs to Asia, specifically China. We won't come crashing down, but it will be a gentle landing. Empires rise and fall; they ebb and flow with the tide. Humanity is so predictable in ways.

     

    "History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

    - Mark Twain

  6. Posted

    I think you and I would get along marvelously. I too am a seeker of romance, chemistry and connection. It's by far the most important part of this hobby for me.

     

    I suppose there's never a guarantee of chemistry though...I'm often told I'm better in small doses. ;-)

     

    This all depends on the provider. Obviously the ladies that advertise half hour rates are open to the time frame. I for one, haven't decided if I want to see you in the first 15 minutes you are here. I haven't collected my fee and we are getting to know each other. I only offer 2 hour appointments because chemistry is about the exchange of energy, not just the sexual lava boiling but the essence of my guests. I want to want them the way they want me before we get naked because if I'm not going to enjoy the experience, I'd rather not participate. At my age, I'm not wasting 30 minutes on drive thru sex with someone I don't connect with, life is too short. Once I know a client I can accommodate time restrictions with packages that are more than reasonable but that takes time and trust. If I find the shorter sessions aren't working for me then I will nix arrangement.

     

    I do have a 1 hour introduction package but very few take advantage of, most book for 2 hours out of the gate. I find even the hour is a little short for me. So the best thing to do is look at the providers advertising, it will tell you if booking for a half hour is appropriate and if she doesn't advertise a rate for that time frame; don't ask because you will most likely receive a gentle decline for the appointment. It isn't personal, it is just a personal choice on how a woman likes to do business...

     

    cat

  9. Posted · Edited by mister_crufty
    clarity

    Thanks for the support Notch,

     

    I just wanted to say that Notch is one of MANY men who have PMed me to tell me how much my story resonates with them. Some on this board have implied that I'm a hypocrite but I think it's just very complex. Everyone walks their own road and it's not as simple as 'leave her'.

     

    "Do I contradict myself?

    Very well then I contradict myself,

    (I am large, I contain multitudes.)"

     

    -Walt Whitman

  10. Posted

    Lots of great eras in the past but I'm a sci-fi geek and I feel like I'm living the dream. Powerful little computers in the palms of our hands linked to a massive world wide data network? Instant availability of information? Ability to communicate in real time with almost anyone in the world for free?

     

    It's a magic time!

    • Like 1

  13. Posted

    Oh my god...I mention that in my alphabet poem:

     

    Q is for queef...some times kitties burp.

     

    I love them...I think they're hilarious. I had an ex with whom I could use certain angles (legs in the air) to basically make them on demand, like making fart noises with your armpit. We would laugh and laugh...she said it tickled.

     

    Good times. Thanks for the memory.

    • Like 2

  15. Posted

    Awful joke:

     

    How is broccoli like anal sex?

     

    You're probably not going to like it if you were forced to have it as a kid.

     

    :-P

     

    I'm going straight to hell for that one....

     

    Additional Comments:

    Although I know the above joke to be in exceptionally poor taste (which is why I find it funny), it was pointed out to me that it might be upsetting or triggering to some on this board.

     

    If this is the case for anyone, I sincerely apologize. It was not my intent and I will try to be more careful in the future.

  18. Posted

    That's where it gets tricky. We're incredibly compatible and really good together in almost every way but this one thing. We like each other and have fun together. Sex is just way more important to me than her.

     

    The question is whether sex is important enough to justify throwing away an entire future lifetime with a partner with whom you are so very compatible in other ways. A month ago I would have said yes. Now having found this outlet, I tend to say no.

     

    But am I just masking the symptoms? Is seeing providers just de-motivating me to look for real solutions to my problems? Is this sustainable in the long run?

     

    Questions I'm not ready to answer right now but I hope to learn to understand myself a bit better through all this. I think I'm sharing too much. People don't want to hear about this.

     

    But thanks for listening. I don't really have anyone else to talk to.

     

    I don't see as a couple that either one of you are thriving. Sometimes leaving someone is the best thing for them, because this way neither one of you have to actually make changes in your lives or grow as people. The other person supports and encourages their partner to only be what they have always been and only do what they have been doing, without changing.

     

    Both of you are going to look back at life in 5 years and completely regret how you've spent the past 5 years, but you are going to be 10 years older with fewer options.

  19. Posted

    You talk about sex and money, yet the statement above suggests you are getting more than just sexual satisfaction from your encounters. Emotional support perhaps? Don't you find this at all worrisome given the way you've characterized your marriage (as just a sex void)? Aren't you concerned you'll find something else missing from your relationship that you didn't even realize wasn't there? And what of your wife? Shouldn't she be a part of your journey of self-discovery, especially when it may affect her relationship too? Or maybe she is! Does she know about your new hobby?

     

    I'm not trying to be a sh!t disturber. I'm genuinely interested in knowing how you're dealing with these potentially deeper issues (given your circumstances). Maybe I can learn something. ;) I don't believe it's as simple as you make it out to be... basically surrogate sex for an otherwise happily married man. Especially not if you are going it alone.

     

    Yeah. I feel like I'm a failure as a husband because I can't figure out how to make it work. I feel like what I'm doing is evil and unethical and I really should do the honorable thing and divorce her but I'm afraid. Afraid to hurt her, afraid to lose my best friend, afraid to be alone. I justify this hobby because it makes me feel so good about myself and that hasn't happened in a long time.

     

    I'm not sure what I'm going to get out of this in the long run. My hope is that I will become a more complete and confident man whom she will find attractive again. I've been working out, taking better care of myself, doing some activities on my own instead of clinging to her all the time.

     

    I'm damaged and for whatever reason, this makes me feel less damaged. I'm not sure why and I don't know what the consequences ultimately will be but at the moment. I don't care. I think on some level that makes me a bad person.

     

    Happy now?

  20. Posted

    Awesome story. I love hearing this stuff. Makes me feel pretty darn vanilla though...God I'm boring!

     

    :-D

     

    Ever since I played 69 style with an Asian lady in TO 20 years ago, where we each gingerly explored our anuses with gentle fingertips, I've had a bit of an unrequited anal fetish. Recently I've been more excited about receiving it than giving it. Also, after having had a bit of dominance for the first time a year or so ago, I'm fixated on the notion of meeting a women in a semiprivate place and her jerking me off in her hand and then ordering me to lick up my sperm. Actually, it'd be cool for her to jerk me off beforehand, save my sperm, and then have me eat it publicly in various places. LOL Also, I really miss drinking, yes drinking, the hot squirt my ex served up.....shit, even piss would work at this point! LOL While licking clit my tongue has a habit of venturing asswards, nothing I can do, has a mind of its own!

  21. Posted

    I find the premise of this thread a bit confusing (misleading?). You pose the "philosophical" question "Why do I not feel bad about this?", and then you proceed to write almost exclusively about the monetary aspects of hobbying. At first, based on your marital situation, I thought you were covertly seeking guidance on dealing with your guilt or hobbiest remorse. I mean, my first thought when someone voluntarily announces how they feel ("not bad"), is to believe the opposite is actually true (as in "I am not a crook!" Yes, you are!). I don't have a problem with that. I know where you're coming from and if I can help, I will.

     

    But I get confused by your fixation with money. Read just about any of your responses and there's some reference to money (costs, affordability, value versus, etc). If this is your primary concern, then perhaps ask a more direct question.

     

    What is the real question you are asking us? Are you trying to determine why you don't ( ;) ;) ) feel guilty hobbying, when you think you really should? Or, are you simply trying to justify the economics of the hobby for yourself?

     

    Perhaps a better philosophical question would be "How would I cope with my situation if I couldn't afford to hobby?"

     

    Interesting points. Really though, in theory the only 'cost' of this is financial so when examining whether it's 'worth it', that needs to be taken into account. The other theoretical cost would be self-esteem related, ie. feeling bad that one cannot get sex other than by paying for it.

     

    When I try to look at it objectively, it seems that there is no way an orgasm or two should be worth the price I'm paying. I can jerk off for free.

     

    What I find confusing is that emotionally and in every other way I don't have any regrets afterwards. No buyers remorse, no feelings of inadequacy. And if anything my self esteem is far better as a result. So that's where the confusion for me lies. I don't feel guilty about spending money. I don't feel bad about not being able to get laid.

     

    I expected to and was surprised that my feelings didn't match my predictions. What it proves is that I'm getting FAR FAR more from this than simply sex. Not sure exactly what but it's pretty awesome and I'm glad I found it.

  22. Posted

    I am or have been a nerd in all the traditional ways - games, D&D, comics, sci-fi, fantasy, computer programming, etc. Zelda is probably my favorite video game series of all time.

     

    I'm a geek in that I get completely obsessed about a new and interesting subject to the point that I spend all my time learning about it, reading about it, etc. I do this for a while and then move on to the next thing.

     

    At the moment, unfortunately for all of you who have to put up with me spamming the board, it's hobbying.

     

    Before that it was (and still is to some extent) cooking. I can cook some ridiculous stuff. Man, some of the bread I bake is world-rocking. I made my own sourdough culture that I keep in the fridge and feed periodically.

     

    It's been other things too. Sports sometimes...went full-retard on golf for quite a while. Practiced and played CONSTANTLY.

     

    It's completely random too. You never know what's gonna strike my fancy. Drives people around me nuts until I finally mellow out and stop taking it so seriously. I get seriously douchey about whatever I'm into at the moment.

     

    --sigh-- OCD is a terrible thing.

    • Like 1

  23. Posted

    It was more a stylistic thing rather than a content thing. Some ladies might prefer a more nuanced style of writing is all. I try to be accommodating.

     

    In any event, my style of review is less about the nitty gritty anyway. I'm more interested in conveying the little details that stood out for me which are not necessarily directly related to the sex of it. These reviews are kind a memoir for me, my sex diary. A way of writing about the experience such that it takes me back to the moment. How I felt at the time. I consider them intensely personal and it's only the anonymity of this board that allows me to share them.

     

    I'm sure that many people don't like them or won't read them but that's okay. They're for me anyway. I'm sure the hard drives of this server can manage to hold my little stories.

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