Anyone else think this was rude?

[Guest M**th**d]

Again I think my point has been missed.

 

-I dont think there is anything wrong with people disagreeing on an issue.

-I do have a problem with people who choose to make others look or feel bad just because they see things differently and ask for clarification.

-99% of the feedback on this thread was positive whether they agreed with me or not. The ones that didnt agree with me offered ideas of where I may have gone wrong and some suggestions to try next time. What is that called again? Oh ya "constructive criticism"

-There were some that chose the opposite of "constructive criticism"

-My point was that I was less interested in seeing some of the girls that chose to respond to this thread in a not so positive manner.

-People who are unable, or unwilling to remove themselves from a situation and consider more than one perspective, then choose to respond in a way that seems to be more of an opportunity to take shots at, or make the person feel bad are not someone I want to pay my money to see.

-If I want to feel bad for myself I would go to a bar and get shot down lol...I am not the best looking guy in the world and I get that. On the other hand I just wasnt expecting that type of reaction on this site from some of the girls that claim to be professional. I dont think that having certain expectations of seeing people who i consider mature and respectful people should be considered double standardish.

 

just sayin....

 

MH

 

 

 

 

see i find this not so much a sign of a learning experience on your part now. You are picking who you want to see now (or dont) by judging how people conduct themselves in opinion..based on what they have conveyed in type.....yet you dont think that someone else should get annoyed at you when they judge you by past conversations?

 

seems a little double standard-ish dont u think? just sayin.

 

sidenote: for the person who had the observations about meg advertising herself.......um..this is a recommendation board where the gals are allowed to advertise themselves however they choose, how ever often they choose etc. saying that anyone advertises themselves a lot on here is kind of like saying the sky is blue. :-)

[Guest S***dst***]

 

Additional Comments:

I disagree. This thread may not have mattered to you, but it did to me. I really have taken into consideration everything that has been said and I appreciate all of the feedback. Does it suck that now most of the girls on here will think I am a time waster and probably not want to give me a chance??? ofcourse!!! However, I have now learned how to be more direct, and tasteful at the same time. I have also learned from some of the responses that some of the girls I have wanted to meet... suddenly are not so interesting to me.

 

MH

 

IMO, there's 8 pages of posts, it mattered to some people.

 

For Meathead: I think this thread may have enlightened a few people. For starters, now everyone knows how you conduct yourself when selecting a date(provider). how is that important? Now they should know you aren't trying to waste their time when you contact them, you're trying to start a conversation for a potential date.

You may have reinforced confidence in others as to their method of chosing a lady; or given others a new way to do so.

[Bethany Westbrooke 7532]

I love this thread. I feel for you MH in that you put yourself out there and now feel some negativity toward your posts, but I think taking a step back will help you to start not feeling so targeted. This discussion is exactly what CERB is all about and I was really glad that you, MH, were able to share your thoughts and were chalking it up to a learning experience.

 

The way you are thinking and feeling now toward certain ladies may be fuelled by your emotions and when people speak in generalities. I don't think anyone is not going to see you because of this thread and I am surprised that you would not see others for sharing their opinions on this subject.

 

On a side note, for Kyra's posting, it would say she edited the post if she had done so. Likely it was just misread initially, we are only human so totally understandable.

 

For Lefty32, I think everyone no matter what profession loves thank-you messages and other thoughtful notes. I have some clients who send me little jokes from time to time, or who always send me a thank you note within 24hours of our session. Anything that makes us smile is a good thing!

[Andee 220524]

sidenote: for the person who had the observations about meg advertising herself.......um..this is a recommendation board where the gals are allowed to advertise themselves however they choose, how ever often they choose etc. saying that anyone advertises themselves a lot on here is kind of like saying the sky is blue. :-)

 

Furthermore, when we do advertise our availability, it is done in the appropriate section. Taking the time to voice our opinions is not meant as advertising but as participation. I seriously doubt that I post any more than some other ladies and wonder why I was targeted in this manner. Oh well, everyone is allowed to voice their opinions and I guess I will just accept it.

 

Since we are only allowed to post once a day, I can't see how Meg is "over-advertising" - that is to say advertising more than anyone else who also posts once a day.

[Annessa 22743]

I love this thread. I feel for you MH in that you put yourself out there and now feel some negativity toward your posts, but I think taking a step back will help you to start not feeling so targeted. This discussion is exactly what CERB is all about and I was really glad that you, MH, were able to share your thoughts and were chalking it up to a learning experience.

 

The way you are thinking and feeling now toward certain ladies may be fuelled by your emotions and when people speak in generalities. I don't think anyone is not going to see you because of this thread and I am surprised that you would not see others for sharing their opinions on this subject.

 

This was really well put, I dont think I see any lady in this thread who has offered her opinion trying to make you look bad and if it has been misinterpreted as that then I would recommend taking a deep breath and a step back from your computer. I understand you may feel in a corner however Bethany is correct, this is a site where we are all here to learn from one another and we are all offering how we each as individuals conduct ourselves in the situation you showed.

 

No one is saying "I'm right and you're wrong" yadda yadda......but an open discussion has lead to us asking u to see both sides of the coin. No one is judging you or trying to make you look bad....just asking you to put yourselves in our shoes. No one in here has said she refuses to see you but if you dont want to see people based on assuming that, then thats your choice.

[Andee 220524]

You put the question out there, do you find this rude? You need to be prepared for people who may not agree with you. If someone disagrees with you, does that mean you consider that something negative towards you?

 

If you are steadfast in your opinion, then why ask the question. Feedback is just that - other points of view to contemplate, whether agreeing or disagreeing. Trying to rally the troops and then not getting everyone's support doesn't mean people are against you, it's just what it is - their answer to your question.

[40ishsxaddict 203]

Dude...dont take it personally... take a break... learn and let it go... theres a learning curve for some on here... me included... those of us who have cl'd may not be used to the higher class of lady on here... the rules, thoughts and ways to present yourself on this board.... just chill... read some posts, forums etc... and realize this isnt just a "hey wazzup...yo...howz $80" kinda place.... nice women on here... great forums and threads to read... some amusing some informative.... enjoy it, and stop getting wound up over a small misstep.... and just so you know... other people have learned from this whole thread as well...myself included...i think its been very informative for clients and sp's alike, so all in all it was a good thing this was all brought up!.... so there you go, albeit unknowingly, you have contributed in a positive way to cerb and its members...lol.... now let it goooooo...pls.... cause somehow im subscribed to this thread and dont know how to unsubscribe...and i keep getting emails...that i dont want to keep getting...lol

[777flyer 1612]

I watched the new Genesis DVD, about their recent re-union and concert in Italy......

 

The band had been apart for over 15 years, and when someone asked them why were they able to get back together after so long, when they had sworn they would NEVER do such a thing........

 

Mike Rutherford's response was BANG ON, he said that maturity comes with age, and they were all old enough now to realize that :

 

1. ) PEOPLE DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE RIGHT.

 

2.) BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE opinions, doesn't make yours less valid or theirs MORE VALID.

 

3.) Sometimes, it just DOESN'T MATTER.....especially when you look at the event and how it affects your overall quality of life.......

 

4.) Make YOUR opinion heard, but then give the other person the benefit and opportunity to express THEIR opinion.....

 

So,equating his comments to this thread, many opinions were expressed, and we should all take away from it what we shall, but don't think your opinion was anymore relevant than anyone else's or any less relevant.....

 

BTW...for Genesis lovers.......get the CD, the rendition of 'The Cage' is just amazing........

 

My $.02 CDN which is worth a HELL OF A LOT MORE THESE DAYS !!

 

SNK........

[PistolPete 61421]

This was really well put, I dont think I see any lady in this thread who has offered her opinion trying to make you look bad and if it has been misinterpreted as that then I would recommend taking a deep breath and a step back from your computer. I understand you may feel in a corner however Bethany is correct, this is a site where we are all here to learn from one another and we are all offering how we each as individuals conduct ourselves in the situation you showed.

 

No one is saying "I'm right and you're wrong" yadda yadda......but an open discussion has lead to us asking u to see both sides of the coin. No one is judging you or trying to make you look bad....just asking you to put yourselves in our shoes. No one in here has said she refuses to see you but if you dont want to see people based on assuming that, then thats your choice.

 

After sending a pm to MH(not dude) early this afternoon. I think he is quite aware, of the feedback.

 

I would think he has been flogged/critizised??? enough "if I may call it that".

 

He understands what has been said and has moved on from this thread.

 

As he said he was just tired of explaining himself then re-explaining the situation.

 

He has met other ladies here, so I don't see any need for a continuation going on here,unless someone really wants to step on MH more while he already down.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

... somehow im subscribed to this thread and dont know how to unsubscribe...and i keep getting emails...that i dont want to keep getting...lol

 

Go into "User CP" (top left of screen), then into "List Subscriptions" (down the left of screen). On the list that appears, Check the box of the thread. Then go to bottom of page, and in the "Selected Threads" box, select "Delete Subscription" from the drop-down list. Hit the "GO" button. Voila!

 

If you just don't want to subscribe or get thread-emails to any threads at all, go into "User CP", then into "Edit Options", and change your "Default Thread Subscription Mode" to "Do not subscribe", or "No email notification".

[Guest M**th**d]

Thanks Pete!!!

 

 

 

After sending a pm to MH(not dude) early this afternoon. I think he is quite aware, of the feedback.

 

I would think he has been flogged/critizised??? enough "if I may call it that".

 

He understands what has been said and has moved on from this thread.

 

As he said he was just tired of explaining himself then re-explaining the situation.

 

He has met other ladies here, so I don't see any need for a continuation going on here,unless someone really wants to step on MH more while he already down.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Go into "User CP" (top left of screen), then into "List Subscriptions" (down the left of screen). On the list that appears, Check the box of the thread. Then go to bottom of page, and in the "Selected Threads" box, select "Delete Subscription" from the drop-down list. Hit the "GO" button. Voila!

 

If you just don't want to subscribe or get thread-emails to any threads at all, go into "User CP", then into "Edit Options", and change your "Default Thread Subscription Mode" to "Do not subscribe", or "No email notification".

 

Beautiful! I have over 100 subsciptions...

[Old Dog 179138]

Re: Hi!

I don't chat. Book me or don't.. but this is boring.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meathead

Hey ****** how is your night going?

 

MH

 

Whew I thought he was talking about me. Then I realized when I get PMs like that, I respond:

 

"I don't chat. Book me or don't... but this is boring. I have a penis. Maybe we could could go for pizza and just hug a bit (in a manly way) but that's where I draw the line."

[Ava Foxx 1747]

Re: Hi!

I don't chat. Book me or don't.. but this is boring.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meathead

Hey ****** how is your night going?

 

MH

 

Whew I thought he was talking about me. Then I realized when I get PMs like that, I respond:

 

"I don't chat. Book me or don't... but this is boring. I have a penis. Maybe we could could go for pizza and just hug a bit (in a manly way) but that's where I draw the line."

 

He's baaaaaccckkkk...LOL!

[Old Dog 179138]

He's baaaaaccckkkk...LOL!

 

Heheheheheh Ava.... well I just counted the number of asterisks and there were 6... I was kinda concerned....

[Ava Foxx 1747]

Heheheheheh Ava.... well I just counted the number of asterisks and there were 6... I was kinda concerned....

 

LOVE your sense of humour! You are funny without being condescending. You always lighten the mood when things are intense :).

[40ishsxaddict 203]

Beautiful! I have over 100 subsciptions...

 

thx too Wrinkled, got rid of ones that i didnt want... now i have to find a way to REFIND other ones i liked, but didnt subscribe too...lol

[Andee 220524]

I have been following this thread. I know the lady in question, and I can tell you this is not the first time she has been messaged her in this manner and the member didn't end up booking - thus wasting her time. How is she to know that "tonight is the night" based on past experience?

 

That's like phoning up a restaurant and telling the Maitre'd - yes, I am am thinking of coming to eat at your restaurant. The Maitre'd, maybe flattered the first time, will soon tire if you keep calling saying the same thing, asking about the ambience, the menu, etc. and never make a reservation. So that third time he is "rude" to you, then you call his boss and say, "I was going to actually dine at your restaurant tonight, but your maitre'd was rude to me.". Same thing. How many time do we play the back and forth game before we are convinced it's really going to happen. This can literally take up hours of our time.

 

Perhaps you got the lady at a time when she was just not willing to play the game. Sorry if you got caught in the cross-fire, but just put yourself in her shoes for a minute. If everyone did what you did, we would be pm'ing back and forth, literally for hours every day. I don't know any sp who has that kind of time on her hands.

 

Again, if it's an appointment you are looking for, what's wrong with simply asking the question. Are you available tonight at such and such time. Period.

 

Sorry, not to say I would have been as curt as her, but I would have put a halt to the back and forth pms (in the form of chat) pretty quickly. I have done this before and like I said, literally wasted hours of my time. Sorry, but when I want to chat, I go into the chat room.

 

My opinion. If you think she was rude, then you are entitled to think that - so just accept it and move on. Obviously the appointment with her was not mean to be.

[Ava Foxx 1747]

I have been following this thread. I know the lady in question, and I can tell you this is not the first time she has been messaged her in this manner and the member didn't end up booking - thus wasting her time. How is she to know that "tonight is the night" based on past experience?

 

That's like phoning up a restaurant and telling the Maitre'd - yes, I am am thinking of coming to eat at your restaurant. The Maitre'd, maybe flattered the first time, will soon tire if you keep calling saying the same thing, asking about the ambience, the menu, etc. and never make a reservation. So that third time he is "rude" to you, then you call his boss and say, "I was going to actually dine at your restaurant tonight, but your maitre'd was rude to me.". Same thing. How many time do we play the back and forth game before we are convinced it's really going to happen. This can literally take up hours of our time.

 

Perhaps you got the lady at a time when she was just not willing to play the game. Sorry if you got caught in the cross-fire, but just put yourself in her shoes for a minute. If everyone did what you did, we would be pm'ing back and forth, literally for hours every day. I don't know any sp who has that kind of time on her hands.

 

Again, if it's an appointment you are looking for, what's wrong with simply asking the question. Are you available tonight at such and such time. Period.

 

Sorry, not to say I would have been as curt as her, but I would have put a halt to the back and forth pms (in the form of chat) pretty quickly. I have done this before and like I said, literally wasted hours of my time. Sorry, but when I want to chat, I go into the chat room.

 

My opinion. If you think she was rude, then you are entitled to think that - so just accept it and move on. Obviously the appointment with her was not mean to be.

 

Angela,

 

Without realizing it, your post has brought up another point :). Many clients think they are paying for the solely for the hour or so that they spend with us. Unfortunately, the time we spend chatting, PMing, emailing and talking on the phone is often overlooked. You may be spending an hour with an SP face to face, but please acknowledge that there is usually a substantial amount of time spent flirting, etc., that lead up to the actual encounter ;). I'm not saying that we mind doing it, especially if it results in a wonderful encounter :), but it would be nice if it was acknowledged :).

[canuckhooker 19202]

This just baffles and astounds me. We call the ladies in here SPs because they provide a service. We discuss professionalism and aspects of the business. Some of the complaints in this thread show a fundamental misunderstanding of how client focused businesses work.

 

I can't think of any business where you deal with clients that you don't have examples of them failing to read instructions, asking silly questions, being demanding etc etc. Not all of the clients, but some of them. It may be annoying, but it goes with the territory. How you handle them is what is important. The SP in question had several choices: she could have ignored the message (takes no effort) or she could have responded politely and tactfully saying something like "I don't carry on conversation by PM, please contact me when you wish to book or have a question not answered on my website." The latter response took the same amount of effort as answering rudely and probably would not have cost her a potential client. Was the satisfaction of making that response enough to compensate for losing that potential client, and possibly others to whom he could have told the story?

 

I have worked in client support in IT, the hospitality industry and in retail. In none of those fields would that type of rude response be tolerated and that behavior could result in an employee's termination. It would certainly not be good for business.

 

Working Tech support I had an employee show up wearing a T-shirt that said "RTFM". Do you think I let him anywhere near a client wearing that? He got sent home, and the incident was noted on his performance evaluation as a serious lapse in judgement. If I could have fired him I would have done that.

 

To answer Ava's point, again I am sorry but all that extra time is called "marketing" or client management. I work retail selling sporting goods. Do you think that my only job is taking money from a customer and handing them their goods? No, I have to advertise, promote, talk to customers, tell them why my product is better etc etc. The money I make on the goods I sell, factors in all of that extra work. In the case of an SP, answering e-mail enquiries, phone calls etc is just part of you attracting, and keeping clients.

 

Not every client I talk to buys my stuff, but if I don't talk to them, I can be pretty sure my sales are going to be a lot lower. I would wonder how an SP would get a client without advertising or taking the time to respond. Not every response results in a "sale", but if you don't respond you don't make many "sales".

 

I know clients, customers etc can be annoying at times, but we have to deal with them if we want to remain in any business. I am sure 90% of the people on this board, SPs and clients, deal with things of this nature on a daily basis. If you don't like dealing with people then maybe you are in the wrong line of work.

[Carrie Moon 68826]

It's funny how guys are quick to defend and point out that in other forms of business this wouldn't be the norm.. or that if they are pm'd to talk to another hobbiest they aren't rude.. but you are easily somehow forgetting the uniqueness of our business.. it's the business of sex..

no other business deals with guys literally wanking on the phone.. no other business deals with the type of rude questions we deal with. No other business literally sells our bodies.. think about it a bit more.

[Andee 220524]

I can't think of any business where you deal with clients that you don't have examples of them failing to read instructions, asking silly questions, being demanding etc etc. Not all of the clients, but some of them. It may be annoying, but it goes with the territory. How you handle them is what is important. The SP in question had several choices: she could have ignored the message (takes no effort) or she could have responded politely and tactfully saying something like "I don't carry on conversation by PM, please contact me when you wish to book or have a question not answered on my website." The latter response took the same amount of effort as answering rudely and probably would not have cost her a potential client. Was the satisfaction of making that response enough to compensate for losing that potential client, and possibly others to whom he could have told the story?

 

I

 

That's what I meant when I said I may not have been so curt - I do allow a couple of pm's back and forth and then I do something similar as to what you suggested.

 

I could see someone getting more abrupt though, if say they have been down this road with the same person before. It just might make someone a little less tolerant, perhaps?

[canuckhooker 19202]

It's funny how guys are quick to defend and point out that in other forms of business this wouldn't be the norm.. or that if they are pm'd to talk to another hobbiest they aren't rude.. but you are easily somehow forgetting the uniqueness of our business.. it's the business of sex..

no other business deals with guys literally wanking on the phone.. no other business deals with the type of rude questions we deal with. No other business literally sells our bodies.. think about it a bit more.

 

First, I am not defending anyone, I am pointing out that there was no excuse for that response from anyone who considers themself a professional. I have not offered a comment on the guy who asked the question, but I may have advised him that what he did is not a popular way to approach an SP for the most part. But it still doesn't justify the response.

 

Secondly, "guys are quick to defend?" this has now become a battle of the sexes? That comment speaks for itself. Misandry is in the house.

 

Most importantly, when did this become a debate about how much more difficult or different "sex-work" is from other types of work? We get asked not to make moral judgements about sex-workers, and accept it as a legitimate form of employ? Something I do believe in and support. Something that this forum overwhelmingly supports, but then we have to make allowances about how it is different? About how much more difficult it is? how unique it is?

 

Well I have news for you, there are a lot of dangerous, and difficult ways of making a living, including some that are guaranteed to cause physical impairment and shorten someone's life. Some that involve emotions and having to put those emotions and sometimes your personal beliefs aside to do your job.

 

I guess none of them are "selling your body" because they don't involve sex. Even though they may involve someone trying to shoot you, blow you up, or asking you to sacrifice that body or sanity for someone else's well-being. And that is just a small example. And I guess nobody outside the "sex industry" gets sexually harassed or molested either.

 

The fact is you "chose" this profession and the things you describe are part of it. Because the rude questions or insulting comments made to you are about sex, the field you work in, are they any less rude or insulting than those made to people who work in other fields? You are a sex worker and you seemed surprised and get upset about someone wanking on the phone? Not to defend that action, but gee how would I handle it? The big red button that says "Disconnect" and then block the number.

 

I guess I will have to go away and think about it more but I certainly won't waste anymore time on this thread.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

canuckhooker, I see your points, but ultimately I agree with Carrie Moon that this is a very unique business.

 

Literally, what other business can you tell clients to fuck off, be completely unprofessional, pull no shows, bait and switch, and still make a decent living?

 

I personally ignore many PMs and emails asking questions I don't like, and I don't engage in conversation. I'm sure I have lost many potential clients, but I have more than enough wonderful clients that I (and I'm sure most providers) can afford to lose some who rub us the wrong way.

 

To parallel it back to your mainstream example: Why would you spend your time on "client management" with someone who wants to chat and ask a ton of questions and may or may not buy, when you have a line of people at the cash all ready to go and make a purchase?

[Andee 220524]

To parallel it back to your mainstream example: Why would you spend your time on "client management" with someone who wants to chat and ask a ton of questions and may or may not buy' date=' when you have a line of people at the cash all ready to go and make a purchase?[/quote']

 

Exactly! If I'm dealing with wankers, then my focus can't be on responding to the ones who are truly serious about meeting.