Corrupted Genie Game

[docottawa 541]

Apple pie?!

 

"DONE!" Cries the genie. He reaches with his long genie arms across the street and swipes the slice of apple pie right off of the table of your unstable, violent neighbour just as his fork is on it's way down to plunge into the golden flaky goodness.

 

Best eat it quickly, though. Look outside your window, right now. That's him crossing the street with the baseball bat.

 

I wish that once, just once, I would be able to twist my head around a full 360 degrees and then twist it back without any injury.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I wish that once, just once, I would be able to twist my head around a full 360 degrees and then twist it back without any injury.

 

Corrupt Genie say Granted!

 

....and so it is done, your 360 degree experience leaves you with no injury, but it does leave you with a lingering fascination. So unique and unusual it begins to occupy more and more of your thoughts. You slowly realize that once was not enough and so begins a life long crusade to re-enact the full panaroma. Sadly one day you push it too far and end up frozen in place at 180 degrees. Life now is a choice of circus freak show performer, or scientific curiousity.

 

I wish I could have sex with Catherine Middleton (the new Princess)

[docottawa 541]

"Ahhhh...silly mortal." proclaims the genie. "What ever made you think that you couldn't have sex with Lady Middleton?".

 

The moral of the story being, What one man can do another can do. True, your chances of success may be slim beyond belief but, nonetheless, the possibility exists and the odds are enhanced by the trying. "Another wasted wish." laughs the genie.

 

I wish that I could stop crushing peoples heads.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pKXMcfx1d8

[Guest s******ecan****]

Granted say corrupt Genie

 

Sadly the corrupt genie being a lazy bugger chose to simply remove both of your arms rather than the much harder concentration required to alter your behavioural patterns.

 

I wish I had a gold bar

[Guest r**u]

Granted says the Genie.

 

As a gold brick comes careening down from the sky to land squarely on your head... Driving your skull down on the sidewalk between your shoes and leaving you little more than a pile of worthless goo.

 

I wish I had Gene Simmons' tongue.

[Guest s******ecan****]

I wish I had Gene Simmons' tongue.

 

 

Granted say corrupt Genie

 

 

Yet you suspect a trick, feeling your tongue it seems no different, you check the mirror, same old tongue, you turn to call after the Genie and realize there is a bulge in your pants pocket. Reaching in you find a warm wet slab of..........

 

 

I wish I was in Paris

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

Done! Sayeth the Genie

 

*poof* you suddenly find yourself in mid hump with paris hilton contracting something gnarly from her.

 

I wish I didn't currently despise my job

[rickoshadows 937]

Granted. You are now the best Walmart Greeter in Eastern Canada and not smart enough to notice most people ignore you.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

Additional Comments:

Oh, and I wish I could read minds.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Apex2006 1071]

Genie grants you the NOBEL Prize!

 

Unfortunately it was in nuclear medicine... and well... bits of you begin to glow... and tragically fall off. Life as a Eunuch can be fun though! Ummmmm... you can sing the soprano parts in the choir!

 

I wish for a nice piece of apple pie...

 

Apple pie?!

 

"DONE!" Cries the genie. He reaches with his long genie arms across the street and swipes the slice of apple pie right off of the table of your unstable, violent neighbour just as his fork is on it's way down to plunge into the golden flaky goodness.

 

Best eat it quickly, though. Look outside your window, right now. That's him crossing the street with the baseball bat.

 

I wish that once, just once, I would be able to twist my head around a full 360 degrees and then twist it back without any injury.

 

 

You beat me to it, but I was going to say that the slice of apple pie was left over from the movie American Pie!!!!

 

Additional Comments:

Granted. You are now the best Walmart Greeter in Eastern Canada and not smart enough to notice most people ignore you.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

Additional Comments:

Oh, and I wish I could read minds.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

 

Wish granted, only you now know how critical women are of you!

 

I wish I had a big boat to have parties on!

[docottawa 541]

"Oh. Just like the Titanic? Done!!!" Cries the genie as he throws in a couple of free icebergs for good measure.

 

I wish that the female professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars all entered the adult entertainment industry and that I was hired to direct all of their scenes.

 

Sigh...

[Guest s******ecan****]

I wish that the female professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars all entered the adult entertainment industry and that I was hired to direct all of their scenes.

 

Sigh...

 

Corrupt Genie say done!

 

All of the dancers enter the Adult Industry and you became the director. Like the proverbial sausage aficionado who gives up on sausages when he sees how they are made, you too become disillusioned with porn once it becomes a job for you. Soon even the sight of a beautiful naked female body holds no more fascination for you than a timbit does for a Tim Horton's baker.

 

I wish I had a 10% share of everything Lebron James earns.

[Guest S**a*Q]

Corrupt Genie say done!

 

All of the dancers enter the Adult Industry and you became the director. Like the proverbial sausage aficionado who gives up on sausages when he sees how they are made, you too become disillusioned with porn once it becomes a job for you. Soon even the sight of a beautiful naked female body holds no more fascination for you than a timbit does for a Tim Horton's baker.

 

I wish I had a 10% share of everything Lebron James earns.

 

And with the 10% of properties, cash value and all other "everything" he earns,

here's the 10% share of groupie cooties you share with his fame...

 

Please wish for a doctor. ;)

 

 

I wish I was famous!

[Old Dog 179138]

WISH GRANTED!!!!

 

You are famous. You are the woman that every woman wants to be and the woman that every mans wants to be with. Every move you make is being watched. EVERY MOVE. There are paparazzi in the bathroom, in the bedroom and in the living room. They eat your food, drink your drinks and crowd your space. It drives you mad. You succumb to the pressure and kill a few, figuring that no one will notice. NOPE. The law notices. They call it premeditated murder... trial date is set for the fall.

 

 

I wish for the ability to see through clothing.

[docottawa 541]

Another easy wish mumbles the genie. PUFF!

 

You find yourself in a polyester uniform and a clip on tie. You're operating an airport security Backscatter and daily you're greeted with angry and offended travelers claiming that you're a dirty man peeking through their clothes. Eventually you lose your temper and rip off all of your own clothes sreaming "There! It's not so bad is it? It's not the end of the world!! I'm just trying to do my job and protect you all! Besides, don't blame me! It's the Genie's fault!! Never trust a Genie!! Never trust a genie!!!

 

You're escorted away by the men in the clean white coats.

 

My wish? A magical violin that teaches me how to play like a virtuoso.

[Guest s******ecan****]

My wish? A magical violin that teaches me how to play like a virtuoso.

 

Corrupt Genie say granted...

 

 

The magic violin teaches you how to play like a violin virtuoso....play football that is the way a violin virtuoso would, sadly your violin playing skills remain unchanged and your football skills .....well lets just say don't quit your day job.

 

 

I wish my bank card could access my bank's cash reserves without them knowing.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I wish my bank card could access my bank's cash reserves without them knowing.

 

"In this day and age?" says our corrupted genie. "LMFAO! Granted! You do realize that your bank has no cash reserves at all, don't you?"

 

I wish I had an infinite supply of beer :)

[roamingguy 300292]

 

I wish I had an infinite supply of beer :)

 

Your wish is granted, unfortunately the caps all came off the bottles and the beer went flat, and there is no electricity, so no fridges to keep the beer cold

 

I wish I had started hobbying at a much younger age

 

RG

[Apex2006 1071]

I wish I had started hobbying at a much younger age

 

RG

 

 

Your wish has now come true, but your name is now Apex2006!

 

:icon_wink:

 

I wish all weekends were 3 day weekends!

[Guest S**a*Q]

Genie grants your wish quickly... Friday becomes part of the weekend...

 

However due to the recent elections...

 

The Corrupt Conservative government makes it mandatory to work 7 days a week, therefore negating any weekends whatsoever.

 

 

I wish I had Jedi Powers.

[Guest s******ecan****]

 

I wish I had Jedi Powers.

 

 

Corrupt Genie say granted!

 

 

However Jedi Powers turns out to be the slow witted son of Jed and Mary Lou Powers of Hookworm Hill Tennesse.

 

I wish I could time travel

[Guest o*****24]

With a twisted look in his eye the genie grants your wish. Suddenly your ear grow to points tips away from your head. Your hair thins and turns white. You also shrink to about 2'0". Worst of all, no can understand what you're saying because simple sentence structure is all but lost.

 

To top it off the powers given are only strong enough to work on a small dog.

 

I wish I had Wolverines powers!

[docottawa 541]

Granted! Smiles the genie.

 

You realize the error of your ways every time that you wipe your ass or pleasure yourself. Everything grows back and heals over, of course, but the constant pain that comes along with those simple actions changes your whole perspective on life, and not in a good way. Further to that, once your reputation gets around no woman will let you touch them below the waist lest you get excited and your claws pop.

 

Haven't you ever wondered why Wolverine is always so pissed off?

 

I could sure use a newly filled liquor cabinet. I wish that I had a full bottle of every type of scotch that I've ever tasted, pristine, unspoiled and untasted!

[Guest s******ecan****]

I could sure use a newly filled liquor cabinet. I wish that I had a full bottle of every type of scotch that I've ever tasted, pristine, unspoiled and untasted!

 

 

Granted!

 

The cabinet appears stocked as per your request. Sadly it is locked and no key can open it. It is also indestructable and impossible to break into.....still makes a wonderful conversation piece.

 

....I wish I could time travel

[Apex2006 1071]

wish granted!

 

But you forgot to pack your platonium and you have no way to predict when lighting will strik to give you 1.1 giawatts you Dehlorien need to travel back! you are now stuck in the time you are in!

 

I wish for charlie sheen to come clean and keep doing two and 1/2 men

[docottawa 541]

"What a curious wish." Mumbles the genie. So be it.

 

It seems that the next adult video that you rent will have a surprise waiting for you. It exclusively stars the aforementioned Mr Sheen, Ron Jeremy, Rocco Sifredi and an anonymous dwarf.

 

I wish that someone would prove or disprove the phenomenon of man-made global warming to an undeniable certainty.