Dating

[da2root 871]

So a general question for the ladies out there.

 

Being a newb / first timer and with how many AWESOME women I've spoke with on CERB - a question that popped into my mind today for the SP's out there.

 

Would you ever consider dating (i.e. not work) a guy who you first met in a SP context? Reasons/concerns/feelings behind it...?

[Malika Fantasy 144625]

We are human, we have feelings, yes it's possible to fall for a client or SP,but don't expect it...

 

I would personally say don't make the first move,wait until the SP ask you out for a date, because if you suggest to see her after the hour, she may think that you just want to have time for free with her, especially if she doesn't have any feelings for you.

 

Reasons? well we are humans. we feel...it can be normal at some point to fall in "love" with someone with who you have sex, even if you pay her. But most of the time, it's lust not love. I found it can happen a bit more often from the clients then SP as we see a fair amount of different people.

 

My own personal experience...I have never dated a client, (I swear I suck at dating in general), but I have seen two old client off the clock, without them paying me. One is because he is good with computer and I suck at them (except for WoW) and we had dinner together 2 times, but when it come to sexual activity, he does pay me...

 

 

It can happen...but again don't except it and unless the SP make the move first, I would suggest you not to put your hope to high

[da2root 871]

LOL - thanks for the input Malika.

 

I ask not because I'm falling for a SP or expect to, I was just curious if it does happen.

[Guest S**a*Q]

I consider myself, at the moment, "undateable" due to escorting. In my personal relationships, I want monogamy and I am hard pressed to believe that I will be able to find that while I'm escorting...

 

Personally, I wouldn't consider dating a client for two reasons.

 

1- I wouldn't trust a client who's seen escorts, to not keep seeing other escorts... Call me paranoid or a hypocrite, but that's my decision.

 

2- The client becomes a non-client, therefore resulting in a drop of my business and income. On that note, the client becomes a boyfriend, and I'm out of a job, as I don't work while dating and don't date while working.

 

But that's again is just my opinion. :)

[Cleo Catra 178382]

I consider myself, at the moment, "undateable" due to escorting. In my personal relationships, I want monogamy and I am hard pressed to believe that I will be able to find that while I'm escorting...

 

Personally, I wouldn't consider dating a client for two reasons.

 

1- I wouldn't trust a client who's seen escorts, to not keep seeing other escorts... Call me paranoid or a hypocrite, but that's my decision.

 

2- The client becomes a non-client, therefore resulting in a drop of my business and income. On that note, the client becomes a boyfriend, and I'm out of a job, as I don't work while dating and don't date while working.

 

But that's again is just my opinion. :)

 

Pretty much what I was going to say! I went on a date with a client I'd seen once, last winter. Went great, or so I thought, until he mentioned his 'girlfriend'. Oh. Would you go on a date with a non-SP if you had a girlfriend, and especially would you mention it? Nope. He clearly thought of me just as an SP, not as a dateable girl. Lesson learned!

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

To be perfectly honest; no. My two lives are completely separate and that is how I intend them to remain. Meg is a persona that exists during certain hours of the day. While the real me has some of the same characteristics, I am not fully the person I portray while entertaining. I don't want to sound harsh but I am not seeking nor would I even attempt a relationship with a client. Meg does enjoy friendship and sexy fun but that is where it needs to end.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

Is something I have learned in my life so I could say dating someone I have met through cerb is not in my plans but life loves to make fun of our plans all the time. So all I can say is I would of course try to distinguish the real intentions of that person towards me.

I agree with the ladies that have posted on it being difficult due to trust, monogamy, being seen as an escort and not a woman but although probably one in a million but there could be a man out there big enough to know how to separate the SP persona fo the real women we are. I'm not saying I want/expect to meet that man but I'm just trying to make a point on not painting all men with the same brush just like we don't like them to think us women are all the same,whatever that means.

[Guest E*******h S******s]

Did it once. Three words: Biggest Mistake EVER!

 

I came into this business believing that a relationship was just not a sustainable objective while working in this industry. Met a man through my advertising; some would say he was a client, others would say no. I allowed myself to throw caution to the wind, knowing full well that it was never going to work. It was incredible while it lasted but I foolishly let my wee heart get broke.

 

Men get smitten and tell themselves one of two things:

 

1. "I can handle this....her work isn't who she is." or,

2. "She's going to stop working because I'm just THAT special."

 

My own anecdotal evidence suggests that the man will discover that neither belief is true within approximately 4 - 6 months.

 

My motto now is "Clients can't be boyfriends and boyfriends can't be clients".

[castle 38816]

I agree with Malika's take on it. It's possible....but don't bet on it. I personally never see a SP with notions of anything else in mind. If it happens, great....but it hasn't yet, and really, as much as we talk about the "GFE", the last thing we're looking for from a SP is a "GF"....and the last thing they're looking for from this is a BF.....it's strings free fun. But as Isabella pointed out. Life does tend to throw us for a curve ball now and then despite our best intentions.

 

I consider myself, at the moment, "undateable" due to escorting. In my personal relationships, I want monogamy and I am hard pressed to believe that I will be able to find that while I'm escorting...

 

Personally, I wouldn't consider dating a client for two reasons.

 

1- I wouldn't trust a client who's seen escorts, to not keep seeing other escorts... Call me paranoid or a hypocrite, but that's my decision.

 

2- The client becomes a non-client, therefore resulting in a drop of my business and income. On that note, the client becomes a boyfriend, and I'm out of a job, as I don't work while dating and don't date while working.

 

But that's again is just my opinion. :)

 

I commend you on this decision Sara! I'm very much of the same mind. I refuse to hobby while I'm in a relationship now. I did it in my younger, stupider days, when I first started hobbying and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love this lifestyle, but I should have just ended it with her if I was unsatisfied enough to seek out SP's....the guilt of that has always stayed with me. So yeah, monogamy is also very important to me now. I would be pretty pissed and hurt to find out she had a guy (or several) on the side. So it would be pretty hypocritical of me to continue hobbying while with her. If we were swingers that might me a different story ;)...but that's simply not my scene. If I were to start dating a SP she would have to find another means of income for things to work....and if you ask me that's a completely unfair demand on my part and not something I could ever bring myself to ask her to do. So for these reasons I don't see myself ever dating a SP.

 

I just want to point out that I'm not judging any of the men on here who do hobby while having a SO. Or any of the SP's here who have SO's. Everyone's views and situations are different. These just happen to be mine.

 

Pretty much what I was going to say! I went on a date with a client I'd seen once, last winter. Went great, or so I thought, until he mentioned his 'girlfriend'. Oh. Would you go on a date with a non-SP if you had a girlfriend, and especially would you mention it? Nope. He clearly thought of me just as an SP, not as a dateable girl. Lesson learned!

 

I'm sorry this happened to you Cleo :( I can attest to the fact that you are very much dateable and were circumstances different I for one would jump at the chance ;) the guy was clearly (if he's on here and reading this, I apologize to you whoever you are) a douche. It's one thing to see SP's while having a SO...there's no real emotional attachment from seeing a SP....well..that's not really true...otherwise this hobby wouldn't be any fun....but you know what I mean...but going on an actual "date" with someone while involved in a relationship?...that's unacceptable to me..but maybe that's just me. I don't know you personally Cleo, and like Meg said, our real faces and the faces we show in this lifestyle are quite different...but for anyone to view you, or any of the ladies here as "just a SP" is quite honestly a crime in my mind. As I previously stated I wouldn't consider dating a SP only because I wouldn't ever expect anyone to leave their chosen profession for me, and monogamy is a very important part of a relationship for me. So right there that rules out SP's for me. But surely not because I consider them "just SP's" or not dateable. If I hit it off with a SP, and somewhere down the line after she has left the profession our paths cross and the stars align, then I would most definitely jump at the chance to get to know the real her. This includes you, Cleo :) SP persona aside I can tell that you're a very charming and beautiful woman.....(not to mention the fact that your movie collection is "apparently" bigger than mine, you like Alice Cooper....and you BAKE to boot! Truly you are a woman after my own heart :p ) Seriously though, any man who takes you for granted is ready for the short bus if you ask me.

[roamingguy 300291]

IMHO, as long as this lifestyle is treated for what it is, really dating shouldn't enter in it. But it is, or should be mutually beneficial to both the lady and gentleman, with no strings or complications.

I've had many encounters with great ladies, but I'm crystal clear that at the end of the day, for the ladies, this isn't for them a dating site, this is their livelihood. I don't delude myself thinking that she thinks "I'm that special someone" I treat the lady like a gentleman, and to me, part of that is keeping it a no strings attached fun. In some cases fun I'd like to repeat with the lady again. But adding the drama of dating to it, I think would not only complicate it, but take the enjoyment out of it.

I've enjoyed the encounters I've had, and am looking forward to future encounters. Yes, friendships can develop. But I like the simplicity of this lifestyle. Take it for what it is and enjoy the good times

Ramblings from a guy who enjoys this lifestyle.

RG

[da2root 871]

The reason I nominated Castles post is for this quote here:

 

but for anyone to view you, or any of the ladies here as "just a SP" is quite honestly a crime in my mind.

 

I've gotten a chance to talk to a few of the SP's in private messaging and you're a bunch of wonderful ladies.

 

I'm on board with the monogamy thing as well; to be honest that's why I'm on CERB - I was in serious relationship's all through my 20's & now I've been single for 2 years and between my full time job, part time job, going back to school part time & traveling for work - girls don't seem willing to put up with the little amounts of time that I have to give to them. When & if I get a gf (HAHA!) you'll see me vanish from here...

 

I appreciate the input from all those who posted

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

but for anyone to view you, or any of the ladies here as "just a SP" is quite honestly a crime in my mind.

 

Hopefully most people think this way! :)

[Miss Scarlett 25073]

Meg if you read my mind anymore, I would just have to marry you myself! hehe j/k

 

But I could not have said it better!

 

An old expression about not mixing business with pleasure.......

 

To be perfectly honest; no. My two lives are completely separate and that is how I intend them to remain. Meg is a persona that exists during certain hours of the day. While the real me has some of the same characteristics, I am not fully the person I portray while entertaining. I don't want to sound harsh but I am not seeking nor would I even attempt a relationship with a client. Meg does enjoy friendship and sexy fun but that is where it needs to end.

[Peachka 4334]

So a general question for the ladies out there.

 

Being a newb / first timer and with how many AWESOME women I've spoke with on CERB - a question that popped into my mind today for the SP's out there.

 

Would you ever consider dating (i.e. not work) a guy who you first met in a SP context? Reasons/concerns/feelings behind it...?

 

We see SP's for gratification and SP's see us for $$$. Relationships outside of this rarely workout.

[Aprilreign 100]

Did it once. Three words: Biggest Mistake EVER!

 

I came into this business believing that a relationship was just not a sustainable objective while working in this industry. Met a man through my advertising; some would say he was a client, others would say no. I allowed myself to throw caution to the wind, knowing full well that it was never going to work. It was incredible while it lasted but I foolishly let my wee heart get broke.

 

Men get smitten and tell themselves one of two things:

 

1. "I can handle this....her work isn't who she is." or,

2. "She's going to stop working because I'm just THAT special."

 

My own anecdotal evidence suggests that the man will discover that neither belief is true within approximately 4 - 6 months.

 

My motto now is "Clients can't be boyfriends and boyfriends can't be clients".

 

Absolutely true!

I made this same mistake and it only blew up in my face. I'm not saying that I don't believe that an SP and a gent can meet via the hobby and have a long lasting relationship, but based on my personality and experience I'm going to have to say its not my cup of tea.

[swegin 5885]

I think it pays to be careful not to generalize based on single experiences. I can totally understand how some relationships that have blossomed between clients and providers have crashed and burned because of the nature of the business and unrealistic expectations. I totally get that.

 

But sometimes people grow apart, like any other dating context. There's obviously a lot more to a close relationship than the activities that can happen during an SP meet, fun though they may be.

 

Sometimes people just aren't a good match. Sometimes it's bad timing.

 

And sometimes things die off for no fathomable reason whatsoever. :(

 

I think one needs to be realistic about possible outcomes, but not completely closed off. It's always hard to open yourself up for fear of rejection and pain... but maybe you're just passing on something that could be awesome.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I've never dated clients. When I started out in this business, I wasn't looking for a dating relationship or a personal, couple-type involvement with anyone. My focus was on my children. From my standpoint, some of the best things about this work were that I had plenty of time for my kids; I was able to provide for them properly; and I was able to spend "adult" time with some very fine, considerate gentlemen whose company I honestly enjoyed such that some of my needs as an adult woman were nicely satisfied--which was not what I'd expected, at all.

 

I enjoy my out of town clients a great deal because we can create a dating fantasy together, knowing all the while that he's leaving in a day or two, or in the morning. There are no strings or attachment points. We can spend the day, the afternoon or the evening roaming around the city, going to dinner in a great restaurant, walking around English Bay or on the Seawall, laughing, talking and playing happily before we retire to his hotel. We're both on our best behaviour and we have a wonderful time, including the bittersweet parting. Fun!