Apex2006 1071 Report post Posted April 4, 2009 How in hell does a guy burn his ass on candles? LOL Bend over and I'll show you! Apex Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest i***k*** Report post Posted April 5, 2009 Bend over and I'll show you! Apex Posted via Mobile Device ahh.... no thanks.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123366 Report post Posted April 5, 2009 OK some of you have heard me mention my friend Irish Dave before. Well i was speaking to him tonight {he's in Edmonton}. He was telling me about his friend from work who is from Germany.I guess the German's English isn't very good yet...anyway they were out for lunch one day and the waitress forgot to give the German a straw...he says to David" what do you call this thing and points to David's straw ..a hose?' David says no man it's called a clitoris...so when the waitress comes back the German asks her is she has a clitoris....rotflmao it didn't take him long to realize david had tricked him...haha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest W***ledi*Time Report post Posted April 5, 2009 I haven't thought of this in years: Back in 1984, I was in a bar in Calgary with a friend. He, intending to find out from the waitress whether or not the bar served beer in pitchers, instead smoothly asked her: "Do you have jugs?". She turned red and mumbled something or other, obviously very uncomfortable -- then just stood there looking at the floor. My friend was baffled as to why he wasn't getting an answer to his question; I realized what had happened, but damned if I could then remember the right word myself. Eventually, the whole misunderstanding was straightened out, and our beer arrived at our table. While handing the waitress her tip, I noticed that three of the coins that she had given me from her change-belt, were shiny 1965 nickels (I collected coins, so I paid attention to such things back then). I was so surprised that an unused roll of 1965 nickels would still be around after almost 20 years, that I looked up at her and enthusiastically blurted out: "Wow, look at those nickels!" The waitress turned and bolted away. We never saw her again ... our table was looked after by a different server for the rest of the night. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted April 5, 2009 HAHAHA Now that is a funny story Emma! sure who's worse Apex or this guys http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4263&highlight=fireman&page=2at least with Apex the worst could have been buring his hairy ass...lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214069 Report post Posted April 5, 2009 This happened when I was younger and on a blind date with this girl and her friend and husband tagged along for her security. The plan was simple we were to go and eat at a restaurant and then to the movies that way if she did not like me she could at least enjoy the meal and the movie. All was going well but being shy and nervous when I ordered chicken breast at the restaurant I asked the waitress what was the size of your breast meaning food not hers. That was the end of this date for me cause the girl thought I was hitting on the waitress and I was a player. BTW the waitress was really hot and did have a nice sized breast 36DD firm. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted April 5, 2009 The waitress turned and bolted away. We never saw her again ... our table was looked after by a different server for the rest of the night. Great story...poor girl though, even though none of it was intentional. Probably a bit too wound up lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apex2006 1071 Report post Posted April 6, 2009 Cummon guy's Emma and I have told you some stories, it's time you all pony up! Be a man and admit that you are not always the worlds best lover! tell us about one of your funnier moments in the bedroom! Trust non of us are perfect! Apex Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted April 6, 2009 once I woke up in the morning with a bunch of gum stuck in my pubes...that sucked Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123366 Report post Posted April 6, 2009 one time this guy who i have been seeing since i started as an escort came over.. we are very familiar with each other thus as soon as he walked in we just jumped each other...a very intense section indeed..clothes and shoes and things were flying everywhere...a few mins after he left and i was getting prepared for my shower i noticed something in my hair...at the same time i heard a knock on my door...it was him and i had just pulled his earpiece for his phone out of my matted hair...i laughed and passed it to him...he didn't even have to ask for it...hehe...i told him it was in my hair..we both laughed...hehe Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caveman 147 Report post Posted April 6, 2009 Hopefully, he had hung up the phone before knocking on the door! :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A***** A***** 510 Report post Posted April 7, 2009 I have had clients leave their underware at my location, also their cell phones, glasses and watches. Always they where returned, usually with a bit of a laugh and gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123366 Report post Posted April 7, 2009 Hopefully, he had hung up the phone before knocking on the door! :-) damn i hadn't thought of that...lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungStud 468 Report post Posted April 7, 2009 Freud believed that those people who "forgot" something at someone's place were merely indicating a sublimated desire to return. :???: I have had clients leave their underware at my location, also their cell phones, glasses and watches. Always they where returned, usually with a bit of a laugh and gratitude. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YoungStud 468 Report post Posted April 7, 2009 once I woke up in the morning with a bunch of gum stuck in my pubes...that sucked Time to start dating women who aren't in high school. lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emma Alexandra 123366 Report post Posted April 7, 2009 ok i'm going to start a bloopers book.. one time this guy was getting dressed after our splendid,hot,steamy sex....i guess he must have been still sex stoned because as he was pulling his pants back on i noticed he was still wearing his now full condom...i told him might want to take it off b4 he went home...hahaha.... *good reason to always shower b4 you leave...hehe kisses, Emma A Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest i***k*** Report post Posted April 7, 2009 ok i'm going to start a bloopers book.. one time this guy was getting dressed after our splendid,hot,steamy sex....i guess he must have been still sex stoned because as he was pulling his pants back on i noticed he was still wearing his now full condom...i told him might want to take it off b4 he went home...hahaha.... *good reason to always shower b4 you leave...hehe kisses, Emma A WOW! LOL! Now that would be an interesting conversation with the wife once he got home. :) Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apex2006 1071 Report post Posted April 7, 2009 ok i'm going to start a bloopers book.. one time this guy was getting dressed after our splendid,hot,steamy sex....i guess he must have been still sex stoned because as he was pulling his pants back on i noticed he was still wearing his now full condom...i told him might want to take it off b4 he went home...hahaha.... *good reason to always shower b4 you leave...hehe kisses, Emma A He just wanted a momento! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
