Ethics - Outing a fellow hobbyist

[canuckhooker 19202]

Doing legitimate investigation is not the issue. That means you did the legwork and used legal means to find out information. You may feel a bit conflicted but you should have known that going into this line of work.

 

If on the other hand, as the OP implies, you got this information illegally by hacking a computer, or by breaking and entering, or any other means; then why bother asking for advice? You have already made up your mind to make a living being a law-breaker. The word scum-bag springs to mind, but since we must behave nicely around here I won't apply it to you, but you would be a criminal, which is accurate.

[igab 5629]

...And one day, divorce settlement would be measure by how hot the girl is, and what she would have or could have made if she was escorting instead of being with you. A measurable standard.

 

You have a very low and jaundiced view of women my friend. A woman's worth is not measured by how much she can make on her back. She is a human being with hopes, dreams and aspirations and not just a piece of meat to be weighed and judged singularly by her sexuality and her physical attractiveness or lack of same.

[bcguy42 38594]

What the heck is this "bro code" everyone speaks of?

 

Crap. Did you miss the memo again? I would forward my copy of it to you but as per directions, I deleted it.

 

Take a look here: The Bro Code

 

:)

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I think that this subject has been addressed very well but I would like to raise one thing that's not exactly germane, but related.

 

Paid companions' ethics and confidentiality are called into question almost as a matter of course. Can a man trust us not to cause problems in his private life? How can he be sure we'll keep his identity a secret? I'm asked these questions all the time.

 

The simple truth is that the one most likely to create a problem is the client. He uses the wrong computer to check his private e-mail account. He leaves a phone number on his cell phone. He records names, telephone numbers and addresses in a paper appointment journal and leaves it lying around. He keeps receipts for meals, hotel rooms, flowers or gifts. He sets up a private credit card or bank account but receives paper statements that are subsequently discovered by his wife, girlfriend or adult child. He saves e-mail and forum posts in word processing files on his computer. I could go on and on about the things that a man can do that may result in being discovered. In short: it's his own actions that reveal what he's up to. When wives, girlfriends and adult children find out that the fellow is seeing one of us, they find out from him, not from us.

 

Every companion I know who has ever been asked by a potential client has readily agreed to sign a non-disclosure agreement but those requests are very few and far between. I've signed exactly one in the last 10 years. One. The confidentiality I extend to that particular man is no more and no less than what I provide to all others who visit me.

 

Unfortunately, paid companions can't expect the same level of security with our clients. Every man who sees us is absolutely certain that he's covered his tracks. Almost none of them has.

 

The ladies here offer a lot of support for one another every time a spouse contacts us. We're in the secrecy business. Confidentiality is non-negotiable as long as we're safe. We never admit that we've seen Mr. Wonderful. There's been a mistake. The caller has a wrong number. Yes, that's my line of work, but I don't know him. I never see men of that age, ethnicity, nationality, political affiliation. I have no idea why he recorded have my name, my website or e-mail address: hundreds of people see that information every day. I wasn't at the restaurant, theatre, yacht. I'm sorry for your distress. I've never met him. I didn't even vote for him/read his book/see that movie. Please don't cry. I can't help you. I hope things work out for you. I understand your anger, but I've never met you before and I've never met him. Please leave. You are not welcome here. I'm sorry you're so upset, but if you don't leave, now, I will call the police. I hope you can get things resolved, but I don't know him.

[cat 262460]

I think that this subject has been addressed very well but I would like to raise one thing that's not exactly germane, but related.

 

Paid companions' ethics and confidentiality are called into question almost as a matter of course. Can a man trust us not to cause problems in his private life? How can he be sure we'll keep his identity a secret? I'm asked these questions all the time.

 

The simple truth is that the one most likely to create a problem is the client. He uses the wrong computer to check his private e-mail account. He leaves a phone number on his cell phone. He records names, telephone numbers and addresses in a paper appointment journal and leaves it lying around. He keeps receipts for meals, hotel rooms, flowers or gifts. He sets up a private credit card or bank account but receives paper statements that are subsequently discovered by his wife, girlfriend or adult child. He saves e-mail and forum posts in word processing files on his computer. I could go on and on about the things that a man can do that may result in being discovered. In short: it's his own actions that reveal what he's up to. When wives, girlfriends and adult children find out that the fellow is seeing one of us, they find out from him, not from us.

 

Every companion I know who has ever been asked by a potential client has readily agreed to sign a non-disclosure agreement but those requests are very few and far between. I've signed exactly one in the last 10 years. One. The confidentiality I extend to that particular man is no more and no less than what I provide to all others who visit me.

 

Unfortunately, paid companions can't expect the same level of security with our clients. Every man who sees us is absolutely certain that he's covered his tracks. Almost none of them has.

 

The ladies here offer a lot of support for one another every time a spouse contacts us. We're in the secrecy business. Confidentiality is non-negotiable as long as we're safe. We never admit that we've seen Mr. Wonderful. There's been a mistake. The caller has a wrong number. Yes, that's my line of work, but I don't know him. I never see men of that age, ethnicity, nationality, political affiliation. I have no idea why he recorded have my name, my website or e-mail address: hundreds of people see that information every day. I wasn't at the restaurant, theatre, yacht. I'm sorry for your distress. I've never met him. I didn't even vote for him/read his book/see that movie. Please don't cry. I can't help you. I hope things work out for you. I understand your anger, but I've never met you before and I've never met him. Please leave. You are not welcome here. I'm sorry you're so upset, but if you don't leave, now, I will call the police. I hope you can get things resolved, but I don't know him.

 

I told you I don't know him, now stop ripping my flowers out of my garden. He was never here, please let go of my hair. I don't know your husband, boyfriend, SO now put the knife down...

cat

[Moviefan 1238]

Here's an interesting situation. I take occasional contracts on the side for various electronic surveillance (corporate background checks, suspicious wives, etc)

 

In this case an interested party (sister-in-law) suspected a man of straying from his marriage and paid a somewhat substantial amount of money to know for sure.

 

Spent quite a bit of my spare time setting this up and let the tools of the trade do their thing. Tonight I'm parsing through the results and basically found a fellow hobbyists hobby email, complete with registration to forums, agency mailing lists, direct communication with escorts that I've even seen myself in the past...

 

On the one hand I dont get paid if I come back empty handed, (well, not paid as much), on the other hand I dont feel right outing someone for something I am guilty of myself. Not sure if what the right thing to do is here from a professional and personal standpoint.

 

Opinions?

 

 

You were hired to do a job, if you are a Licenced Investigator you are ethically bound as an agent of the courts to fufill the job to the best of your ability, and let the cards fall were they may. We are all adults, making our own choices, that have obvious consequences such as divorce if caught cheating on the wife.

 

Or you can return the deposit and excuse yourself from the investigation and burn any information you have found.

 

Now if you are a private investigator and you attained this information without a warrant to search under section 22 or 28 of the Act, and this information is forwarded to your client and she uses it in a manner that is innapropriate, you can kiss your licence goodbye and hope the your follow hobbyist doesn;t push for charges to be laid against you for Interception of Communications under sec 184 of the Criminal Code.

 

Best of luck to you.

[BootyLoving 2441]

You have a very low and jaundiced view of women my friend. A woman's worth is not measured by how much she can make on her back. She is a human being with hopes, dreams and aspirations and not just a piece of meat to be weighed and judged singularly by her sexuality and her physical attractiveness or lack of same.

 

I'm so glade you understand and are so deep...

Not everyone gets it, and thinks its black or white just do your job mentality, and go home to commit the same crime. I see cra tax auditor constantly try to get a cash only deal when trying to negotiate work with me. Really, they must have just recently busted somebody cheating on their taxes, and turn around to do the same. Cops just busted a John, and the girl recognizes the cop was a pretty kinky past client. Go figure. I'm a Hippocrates but I know it. I make no judgement, I'm no saint.

[LeeRichards 177238]

What the heck is this "bro code" everyone speaks of? I'm nobody's bro here. At least I hope my bros aren't on here. Us dicking the same women ...

 

Anyways, take your investigation further, do some weighing of what you are comfortable with, and be smart about it. This business is about doing things behind people's back. Information is still power. You may choose to share all or just some. Who would know? And who can't fault you for not knowing everything? Collect your money, and move on. Ethics? I scoff on ethics. It's a made up concept to make everyone else thinks that there is some sort of order to their lives. Your client has no ethics. She went to you. Your target has no ethics, he's doing the same girl your doing. You've got no ethics, your screwing the same girl he's screwing for money. The call girl your both taking turns on has no ethics, she's screwing for cash. None of us has ethics, where committing genocide cause we're not actually procreating and overriding our own nature to spread our seeds by wearing condoms.

 

 

There you go, black and white. Really, ethics? It's all relative to the time in which we live and what is currently socially acceptable. We are merely observing someone else's belief in civility. In a few months, doing escorts in exchange for money will be legal. And one day, divorce settlement would be measure by how hot the girl is, and what she would have or could have made if she was escorting instead of being with you. A measurable standard.

 

Interesting thread and opinions.....except for this load of crap. Yikes.

 

If that was black and white...then so is the star spangled banner