Strippers justification

[mclovin 260]

At the risk of seeming straying into controversy, I wanted to muse about something. Perhaps my tolerance threshold is low, but I'm always puzzled why a lot of dancers feel it necessary to justify their decision to strip. It's never a question I ask and frankly I tend to regard wildly concocted cover stories to justify their career decision as insulting to the intelligence of their customers. By way of example, "I am in pre-med (or pre-law) and this helps to offset tuition costs", and yet when I reply by asking about an LSAT or MCAT, their eyes glaze over like I'm speaking a foreign language. Frankly, I enjoy talking to dancers and I consider a healthy conversation a good prelude to other activities, but inventing elaborate fairy tales suggests that there is a degree of shame in their trade. By that token I think the majority of dancers perform an important service (being serious here ) and there should be not one iota of shame attached to what they do nor is there some requirement to justify their choices. By lying, it implies regret, etc. and frankly that makes me far less likely to open up my wallet because I feel I would be a party to their shame. Friday morning confession.

[got2haveaname 110]

The answer is simple. They have a real life outside of the clubs they work. They don't usually want to tell there customers to much about themselves and that's why they make the stories up. Some have kids and family all they need is a crazy customer knowing to much and causing problems in there real life.

 

Personally I need a great conversation to open my wallet but when comes to why they strip well expect to have stories made up. If that's a turn off for you then just avoid that conversation and choose a other subject.

[Guest S****an]

Could be me but I think your experience is an outlier. Very few of the dancers I have met have struck me as needing to justify their decision by lying. I have met quite a few who really are putting themselves through school, or are working towards some longer term goal. Many are of course trying to hide their dancing from family or friends to avoid the social stigma, but can't say I have encountered many who are totally BSing me to justify stripping.

Not saying your experience is wrong, just uncommon.

[mclovin 260]

Thanks Skid, appreciate hearing your experiences. As I re-read my post I may have unintentionally come across as harsh so I want to be clear to all readers that I acknowledge not all dancers have felt compelled to invent cover stories, but in my experience there is a constituency that does.

[Guest Ni**t*****t]

Could be me but I think your experience is an outlier. Very few of the dancers I have met have struck me as needing to justify their decision by lying. I have met quite a few who really are putting themselves through school, or are working towards some longer term goal. Many are of course trying to hide their dancing from family or friends to avoid the social stigma, but can't say I have encountered many who are totally BSing me to justify stripping.

Not saying your experience is wrong, just uncommon.

 

This is mainly my experience also but I have also met the odd girl who is in it for money without any personal goal whatsoever and, after knowing a them for some years now, they are still sadly chasing the dollar everyday and always seem to be broke... but this is the exception in my experience.

[Bridgette 10998]

Perhaps my tolerance threshold is low, but I'm always puzzled why a lot of dancers feel it necessary to justify their decision to strip. It's never a question I ask and frankly I tend to regard wildly concocted cover stories to justify their career decision as insulting to the intelligence of their customers.

 

While you may not ask or even find justification necessary, I have encountered patrons who have been... Judgmental, at best, with regards to dancers not having anything else "going on" (be it schooling, another job, or a child).

 

Of course, there are also those dancers who use the justification as a hustle, or simply come up with wild cover stories out of boredom because they also want some entertainment.

 

As with most things that come out of a dancer's mouth during your time in the club, you shouldn't read too much into them. ;) Just enjoy the interaction or thank her for her time and let her move on if you can't.

[whiteman 14028]

Everybody enhances their resumes.

[shanny 200]

That's a question I never ask, and on most occasions when the information has been volunteered, the answer has been straight up: I have fun and I make a lot of money, so why not?

 

Seems like a fair answer to me! :)

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

I've often asked myself that. I'm a girl who has to talk to a guy before anything else happens (I like to get a vibe from him) but I hate when they ask me to justify what I'm doing, mostly because it goes hand in hand with "trying to save me".

Lots of girls lie because they are sick of hearing how they deserve better and should be doing more with their lives. There is a good portion of guys who want to hear how much we hate our jobs and how they are doing us a favor. I don't take those guys. I love my job and anyone who wants to degrade what i do will be trouble in the back usually. Just my 2c

 

Megan

[whiteman 14028]

I've often asked myself that. I'm a girl who has to talk to a guy before anything else happens (I like to get a vibe from him) but I hate when they ask me to justify what I'm doing, mostly because it goes hand in hand with "trying to save me".

Lots of girls lie because they are sick of hearing how they deserve better and should be doing more with their lives. There is a good portion of guys who want to hear how much we hate our jobs and how they are doing us a favor. I don't take those guys. I love my job and anyone who wants to degrade what i do will be trouble in the back usually. Just my 2c

 

Megan

Yup, and as a customer, I find it distasteful to ask that question too.

 

However, I do often ask the girls how long they've been working in the business, which clubs, etc.? I consider those just normal small-talk questions, but also they help me understand how experienced the girl is, and whether or not I'd like to have a CR dance with her.

 

I also sometimes ask them if they work in any other business (eg. office, store, etc.), or go to school or something? This is not to try to save them or anything like that; this just tells me if they're part-time or full-time dancers, which I also consider to be a general indicator of their experience in the CR.

 

What's your opinion about those types of questions?

[Bridgette 10998]

However, I do often ask the girls how long they've been working in the business, which clubs, etc.? I consider those just normal small-talk questions, but also they help me understand how experienced the girl is, and whether or not I'd like to have a CR dance with her.

 

I also sometimes ask them if they work in any other business (eg. office, store, etc.), or go to school or something? This is not to try to save them or anything like that; this just tells me if they're part-time or full-time dancers, which I also consider to be a general indicator of their experience in the CR.

 

What's your opinion about those types of questions?

 

I think your questions is totally fine. When you first meet a dancer, it's not like you know a lot about her, and so those are good questions to get to know her in the context of the club. Even asking what she does when she's not at work is totally fine, again just to get to know each other and continue the conversation, maybe find a common interest.

 

This is a bit off topic but I'm really curious as to why you think a dancer being part-time or full-time has any bearing on her experience in the CR. I've seen many part-timers spend a lot more time in the CR than some full-timers.

[PhantomKnight 7914]

I remember spending a night with a lovely dancer in which she made up a story like this only to see her a few weeks later in same class in the exact same program I was attending at Algonquin. (We actually became good friends and

Had a laugh at it) I was a bit shocked that after how intimate we ended up, that she would lie to me. She explained it to me that people are extremely judgemental so she often felt the need to lie about it.

 

She also explained that the specific program we took doesn't kindly accept the idea that dancers, SP's and other "adult" workers would take the program.

 

Either way, some lie for a personal reason and just don't take it to heart!

[whiteman 14028]

This is a bit off topic but I'm really curious as to why you think a dancer being part-time or full-time has any bearing on her experience in the CR. I've seen many part-timers spend a lot more time in the CR than some full-timers.

Well, this may seem completely counter-intuitive, but I'm actually looking for part-timers over full-timers. I find that they tend to be more fun in the CR.

 

So your observation about part-timers spending more time in the CR, might actually prove my theory, because other guys seem to spend more time with them too.

[Bridgette 10998]

Well, this may seem completely counter-intuitive, but I'm actually looking for part-timers over full-timers. I find that they tend to be more fun in the CR.

 

So your observation about part-timers spending more time in the CR, might actually prove my theory, because other guys seem to spend more time with them too.

 

That's actually a pretty interesting theory since I've always found dancing to be much more fun when doing it part-time and just sort of on the side of other things.

[whiteman 14028]

That's actually a pretty interesting theory since I've always found dancing to be much more fun when doing it part-time and just sort of on the side of other things.

So then even as a dancer, you find yourself more relaxed when you do it part-time rather than full-time? Maybe there's something to this theory from both points of view?

[Bridgette 10998]

So then even as a dancer, you find yourself more relaxed when you do it part-time rather than full-time? Maybe there's something to this theory from both points of view?

 

I think it really depends on the dancer. I know a few dancers who are anxious only working part-time and enjoy it much more when doing it full-time - they just need to be in the club more often to get into the groove, I guess. Others are more like me, more relaxed and happy with dancing as a part-time gig.

 

I think having another income source is the bigger factor, and while often that's divided into part-timers with another source and full-timers without, that's of course not always the case.

[Guest pagypie]

brigitte brings up a good point...the more pressure you have at your job the more it wears on you.

 

we all have bad days at work, and not everyone loves their job.

 

thats why brigitte is one of the best! she's at ease and makes you at ease too. only a good time waiting for you!

 

personally i never understood judging a dancer for their job unless its to be a white knight and try to "rescue" them.

 

to anyone that would judge them, may i remind you of a simple fact...youre there too! its a service that youre wanting and participating in. its a job! if you enjoy going, so can they! we're all adults so we should treat all customers/performers with respect.

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

Yup, and as a customer, I find it distasteful to ask that question too.

 

However, I do often ask the girls how long they've been working in the business, which clubs, etc.? I consider those just normal small-talk questions, but also they help me understand how experienced the girl is, and whether or not I'd like to have a CR dance with her.

 

I also sometimes ask them if they work in any other business (eg. office, store, etc.), or go to school or something? This is not to try to save them or anything like that; this just tells me if they're part-time or full-time dancers, which I also consider to be a general indicator of their experience in the CR.

 

What's your opinion about those types of questions?

 

 

 

I don't mind those questions, usually. I think it's all abo9ut tone and context. I'm a pretty good judge of character and I can usually tell when guys are curious to know more about me (which is great) and when they are looking for an ego boost (which can be good :P but ykwim).

 

My general rule of thumb is anything that keeps the co0nversation going and is light or fun is fine. Anything that is depressing or judgmental is not.

[all-in 300]

I never judge the girls for their chosen profession, but I do ... enjoy is not quite the right word, but no better word comes to mind... getting to know about their past and how they ended up where they are. Some have fascinating stories, others have sad or rough pasts. I'd rather go for dances with a girl I know very well, regardless of appearance or how liberal she is, where we can have an actual conversation being truthful about whats going on in our lives, than a wild hottie who'll do anything for one more dance but cant talk about anything other than her nails or some fantastical story thats obviously made up.

 

I've grown quite close to some regulars, and they all know my time in this hobby is coming to an end shortly as I am finally settling down. Some have made me promise I'll still be around for a late night meal or a comforting phone call when they have a rough night, others I know I'll never hear from again. But in the meantime I cherish every moment I have with them until the few hours before a ring goes on my finger and I put this part of my life to rest.

 

Its not an easy job, its not an easy life. They're people too, treat them with respect and the experience you are paying for is increased tenfold.