How do feel about marriage?

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

No, this isn't a proposal. LOL

I'm already married and while she isn't perfect :) I am glad I took the plunge.

What do people on here think about the institution of marriage. Is it worthwhile? Do any of you that are divorced or single ever see yourselves getting married?

[loopie 15358]

I have never been married, but I would have no problem making a formal commitment if I felt I had found true love in a sustainable relationship.

[6dave9 4008]

Yes.... I believe every one- gay or straight and every one in between...

should suffer the indignities of marriage at least once the their lives...

(tongue firmly in cheek)....

 

sorry.. couldn't resist.. LOL even I am not sure if this is my quirky sense of humor or synisim... ;-)

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

I believe in marriage. I consider is an emotional union between two people. When I get married it will be to a man who will be my rock, who will be there for me when everything else goes to shit, who will hold me when I cry and be next to me when I laugh. I'll be happy to wake up every morning and do the same for him.

 

I do not see marriage as a promise to never sleep with anyone else every again. If I saw it that way I would never get married - I don't take on challenges I know I can't succeed at. I love having sex. I love doing it with people I know, with people I love and with people who are just plain there. It's fun and it's adventurous and I'm not going to give it up for anyone.

 

..yeah. lol

[Guest webothscore]

Here it comes:

 

Engagement ring, wedding ring and waaaaaiit for it ;)

 

No but seriously I think the whole idea of marriage is wonderful, but a healthy way of going into it is one where you won't have regrets later on. Have you done what you set out to do before marriage? Not talking sex here, but established goals, ready for financial and time commitments? So many variables. Also, those other goals don't have to stop because of marriage. Also, good communication is key, for everything in life.

[Motorbykerider 4754]

Without spending a lot of time thinking about my answer I'd have to say I often wonder about the institute of marriage. I'm sure it would all depend on who you end up with but for the most part, unless you find someone who truly is your soul mate you may have regrets and these may show up years later. I was very much in love with my wife but soon after the marriage (of 25 years) things changed. She went back to school, took on a high stress job, we had 2 kids that I raised basically alone and these things changed me from who I was to who I am.

If I knew then what I know now (as they say) I would have done things very differently.

 

If I was happy/happily married, I wouldn't be here, dreaming or fantasizing about what could have been. If I was single, would I be here? Not sure.

 

Additional Comments:

Here it comes:

 

Engagement ring, wedding ring and waaaaaiit for it ;)

 

Suffering?

 

I loves it.

[MightyPen 67414]

I think marriage can be a great institution for two grown-up people who enter into it thoughtfully and aware. At the same time it's not a precondition for happiness, it's not the only "right" way to live, and for a lot of perfectly good and healthy people it's just a really bad fit and better foregone.

 

The seed for marriage is romantic love and passion, but it's intended to grow into something more in which two people support each other's lifelong hopes and ambitions, and promise to be there to care for each other even through sickness and setbacks.

 

There's got to be something kept exclusive to the relationship, reserved only for your marriage partner and which makes that relationship unique (otherwise why be married at all?). But what that exclusive thing is depends on the couple. It doesn't have to be sex... but whatever it is, the partners need to agree about it and set the boundaries beforehand.

 

Problems arise though when people expect their marriage to be the *everything* of their lives, all the time. Or when one or both people grows into a new and different self, but they take no measures (or try and fail) to adjust their relationship to match.

 

So yeah, there's lots that can go wrong with each marriage, but that doesn't mean it's doomed as an institution. Like anything else between two people, the participants need to communicate and adapt over time for things to keep working. Problem is, since marriage is so often entered into when young and idealistic, and marriage itself perceived with highly-charged awe, it can be very hard to stop and look at it objectively as a thing the couple themselves own and can alter to the shape they need.

 

A really short version of all that would be: marriage can work really well when the couple themselves own the marriage, but seldom works well when they feel the marriage owns them.

[6dave9 4008]

I was very much in love with my wife but soon after the marriage (of 25 years) things changed. She went back to school, took on a high stress job, we had 2 kids that I raised basically alone and these things changed me from who I was to who I am.

If I knew then what I know now (as they say) I would have done things very differently.

 

If I was happy/happily married, I wouldn't be here, dreaming or fantasizing about what could have been. If I was single, would I be here? Not sure.

 

 

Ditto...

For me, life/love was fun when we lived in own flats.. we could not wait to see one another..

then it was like getting married was one of thing on a check-list, then the house , then the kids, then... you get the picture.. each new acheivement push me down the priority list....

I'll stop here... because I dont want to turn into a SO bashing thread.. as I will press forward and be there for my family every day.

[mambo35 306]

I do believe in the institution of marriage. Saying that, it doesn't mean I want to get married (I'm single btw) but I truly think there a place for such union between two people. I also think there are a lot people who shouldn't be married or married for the wrong reason. But hey, it's their life.

 

How will I be if I do get married? Couldn't tell you. I would like to think I would be a trustworthy, honest and reliable husband at very least.

[Old Dog 179138]

Been there. Done that.

 

There were times that I loved being married. It was a nice feeling to be a part of something special. The problem was that it takes two to tango and marriage is like an old car.... it takes a LOT of work to keep it going smoothly. Unlike the old car, you absolutely need both parties working together to make it both work and be rewarding.

 

Since the marriage, I've nearly been married again three times.... but something inside just SCREAMED "get the fuck out, NOW." I'm still friends with two of the three... and I am glad that we salvaged a distant love. I can't say that about the ex-wife... BUT then again, neither of us was or is perfect and we were too young and idealistic to see that our incompatibilities were insurmountable.

 

Would I do it again? You never know. I am not averse to the idea BUT then again, I do like the life I lead at this moment. It's rather fun not being accountable to anyone else but yourself....

[roamingguy 300291]

I think when two people are in love (not infatuation) and want to be together and build a life together marriage is great. But how often are there road bumps in a relationship, and it's easier to break up than work on the problems. Conversely (now the politician in me speaking LOL) why would anyone get married if they knew work was involved

Unfortunately, statistically speaking, it doesn't have such a great batting average, I believe it has a 54% failure (divorce) rate. And how many are stuck in unhappy marriages?

Back in my younger days I would have (almost did) married if I found the right woman. Well it never worked out for me. But I'm happy in my life, and now, I think I'm too set in my ways to get married

RG

[zorobaby 4121]

I believe in marriage, I just don't believe in spending 10,000-20,000+ on a wedding, when all that money could go to getting me drunk, or a big honey moon, or a new car, or a down-payment on a house.

[spud271 47779]

I believe strongly in marriage. My first marriage did not work out, but that never soured me on getting married again. Unfortunately that person has not come along yet, mostly because of the life I've had to live. Anyone who knows me is well aware I'm very much a romantic at heart and I would give my heart and soul to that one woman should she enter my life.

[TGirl-Kay 7484]

I'm married to a wonderful woman and love every minute of it we are coming up on the 1 year mark. Ours is a Poly and open relationship I lovey wife, my partner, my girl friend and a special guy.

The trick with a marriage is to make it what the people involved want and not what you are told it should be.

[touchwould2 727]

I've been married for a long time and I love her dearly. For over 25 yrs we had a good sex life and often an amazing sex life... both of us GGG though I was the instigator most often.

Physically it hasn't been so for a few years now...no one's fault....and that''s why I'm here. I wouldn't be, at least not without her participation, if we were still physically intimate, and a few years back if there had been cerb, it probably would have been something we would have tried together.

 

 

And it's why cerb is a good fit for me now. I've tried going down the play around with people you meet route. But in more conventional settings, the fact that I'm a big suck takes over, and my feelings are more likely to engage, and its more complicated and difficult.

 

So marriage can be wonderful, if you're lucky enough to survive the inevitable turmoils of a long term relationship, and you get to look back on the life you've built and the time you've shared with a sense of " I couldn't ever walk away from this now, not ever."

[mrgreen760 37785]

Not married and never have been but with with my SO for more than 27 years. Nothing against the institution but it never seemed to fit us. Perhaps having kids would have made it different. But we didn't so it isn't.

 

Peace

MG

[Frank7 3939]

While it's not for everyone, i think marriage is wonderfull. It's my biggest goal in life to find a special someone and stay with her forever (aka death).

 

Very good call zorobaby about not wanting to spend so much on the wedding though. =P

[qwertyaccount 15793]

I believe in marriage, I don't believe that I should get married.

 

If I meet the right girl one day that does NOT put up with any of my B.S., I'll reconsider -- if she is very, very persuasive.

 

These days it seems that the institution of marriage is just a piece of paper for which a tax was collected by the government and probably a church.

 

The feelings you have for your S.O., and they for you, are all that really matter.