is publicly discussing negative experiences really benificial

[CristyCurves 169032]

Is giving a thumbs down, or outing someone as a "bad" or a "you should pass on this one guys" provider really beneficial? I'm not talking about the obvious, like people who use stolen pictures, those who are( and this you need proof of) a health risk, those who may be dangerous, or for any other reason that may put someone in jeopardy. I'm talking about things that might be better discussed privately with the said provider, such as poor hygiene, lack of enthusiasm, this might have something to do with their partner, poor skill, etc, or things that someone has no control over, such as their attractiveness. Not everyone in the business is good looking and publicly calling them out on this is mean, if their hygiene is poor, perhaps a private discussion would solve the issue. some people are just not sexually gifted, have skills, but again maybe a private conversation might help to motivate one into improving.

My point is, we are all human beings, with feelings and different needs. Just writing someone off for reasons that might be improved with help can't really benefit anyone can it?

Yes, its a responsibility of those selling their time to be professional, responsible and hold themselves to a particular standard, but they need to know how in order to do this and if they are lacking wouldn't being helpful and discreetly discussing your issues with them be more beneficial and kind?

It just feels so harsh to me to just write someone off so easily. Remember this is a person, your negative comments may ruin them, not only financially but emotionally. Each and every individual deserves a chance, and maybe even a few. Each is irreplaceable, we are not buses, soon as one passes another comes along, which is sometimes how those comments make it seem. So perhaps if next time you meet a new provider, or just a different one and things weren't as you hoped, or for any reason other then the fore mentioned, stop and think- is your negative comment you are about to write really going to help anyone?

[mrgreen760 37785]

It's a mute point as negative comments aren't allowed here. So you must be referring to other Boards.

 

Peace

MG

[MightyPen 67414]

Good points Cristy, and it goes to the heart of the difference between CERB and certain "review" boards.

 

I think you're right to exclude some types of experiences from this discussion -- health issues, baiting and switching, age issues, fraud, that type of thing. These really do need sharing, just like unsafe clients should be reported.

 

But you'd hope that mere hiccups in an experience would prompt a gentle and private discussion between the client and provider, as it should between any two people who like and respect each other as people. Or maybe the client needs to reflect upon his own contribution to the situation, and could benefit from a few pointers from the provider.

 

Instead, some clients dash off to the nearest computer to post a scathing review for others to see on one of those review boards. Sometimes this is just petty revenge for a minor disappointment. But I think mostly it's done to score points within the culture of those boards, where detachment from, and disdain for providers is encouraged and a power dynamic of "us vs. them" is routinely enforced. In those places, the client is on top because he has the money, and the provider is an anonymous, subservient, essentially dehumanized agent whose sole function is to perform sexual acts in certain ways. The client believes he has purchased the entitlement to a specific set of services performed to some particular (though arbitrary and subjective) standard, and if the provider fails to deliver what he wants as he wants it, he'll issue punishment in the form of a bad 'review'.

 

You can see some of that revealed in the phrase "take one for the team", used when one of those board members visits a new and unknown provider; it's clear who the team is, and she's not on it.

 

So yeah... is it unkind to shout from the rooftops about minor perceived shortcomings of an experience, without trying a simple human discussion and without any consideration for the impact this might have? Absolutely. But kindness would imply acknowledging the other person as an equal who deserves understanding, and is a 'member' of the same 'team', instead of a mere vendor of services and 'meeter of needs'. And that's not something that would be tolerated in certain us-guys-on-top, money-first online communities.

 

CERB draws the line elsewhere. Now granted, the positive-only rule excludes what could sometimes be useful discussion if it was restrained and considerate. But what we gain is not just a generally positive and egalitarian community of clients and providers, but we've remove the elements that would otherwise build an ugly, client-on-top, and plainly misogynistic snakepit where what you describe is the daily norm.

[CristyCurves 169032]

It's a mute point as negative comments aren't allowed here. So you must be referring to other Boards.

 

Peace

MG

 

With all due respect, it's a point, so not moot:) and negative comments are made here on occasion concerning negative experiences. They are just worded in a way which makes them acceptable to the board. Also this thread is a generalization-hence- it's place in general discussion, which is a place where we can discuss topics that are relevant to this and other boards, if I'm not mistaken:)

[mrgreen760 37785]

Seems pretty simple...avoid those certain "review" boards or if you really feel strongly about this make your feeling(s) and opinions known on them.

 

Peace

MG

[CristyCurves 169032]

Seems pretty simple...avoid those certain "review" boards or if you really feel strongly about this make your feeling(s) and opinions known on them.

 

Peace

MG

 

Thank you:) not sure what boards they are as I only take part in this forum and one other and this subject has been discussed there.

I've always thought that avoiding things isn't the way to go as it never changes anything .It's better, imo, to openly discuss issues in as many venues as possible and maybe:) bring about some positive change:)

[Guest *l**e]

sorry to be grammar police, but this is a pet peeve of mine...it's "moot", not "mute"

 

back to the thread...sorry

[Guest realnicehat]

Then again, if a point is "moot" because we must be "mute" does it then become a mute point?

 

Did Mr. Green stumble upon the best accidental word play ever?

[CristyCurves 169032]

Then again, if a point is "moot" because we must be "mute" does it then become a mute point?

 

Did Mr. Green stumble upon the best accidental word play ever?

 

No you did, lol, good one!

[mrgreen760 37785]

sorry to be grammar police, but this is a pet peeve of mine...it's "moot", not "mute"

 

back to the thread...sorry

 

No worries :) I probably should have stayed mute...

 

Peace

MG

[canuckhooker 19202]

This is a very thorny issue. Firstly, you imply that there are "sneaky" negative comments that have managed to be posted on this board. I would say they are few and far between. People have learned that those are caught out pretty quickly. IMO there are a lot more shills in the rec section than "hidden" negative comments.

 

The problem here is that when someone writes a recommendation, you are essentially asking for a critique. However the value of that critique is diminished if you can only say positive things. I don't think I have had very many experiences in my life that were 100% positive. There is always something that could have been better. The value of a true critique is that someone can improve their service to make it better. If that is something they want to do.

 

So we have the situation here where clients don't write recs, and we get threads like the one this past week, that call their motives into question. A thread the mod had to shut down.

 

Of course as mentioned before any place that allows negative comments is going to get the trolls and others who revel in complaining. Just look at any other review site, like Trip Advisor, restaurant rating sites etc. etc. They get their share of trolls and shit disturbers, but the real reviews give important information not only to other potential customers, but to the person or persons being reviewed. They get feedback that can help them improve their service.

 

The choice for the provider is to take the valid criticism and address it to fix a problem, or to ignore it, get defensive, go on the attack. They can react positively or negatively. The point is that IMO frankly discussing or giving a valid critique with negative points, can be beneficial. But it can also result in more negativity.

 

This board chose to allow no negative comments, and I think it has been fairly successful. I don't think any negative comments that may be hidden were put there by the trolls and people trying to stir the pot. It takes time and thought to do something like that, things that are in short supply in trolls. If there is a "sneaky' negative comment on this board I think it is most likely would have some validity, and a wise person would take it to heart.

[Areez 11906]

If the comments are mean spirited then they are not beneficial. I do believe some negative comments can be helpful, maybe to both parties. For example, if the SP advertises an experience and client after client does not get then I think it is fair to point that out.

 

I think if you are pointing out a part of experience that is advertised but never actually happen its not a negative comment. And I completely agree with the part it should be pointed out - Trust me; I believe in credibility review more than recommendation only as canuckhooker said - some of the recommendation are just shills... But how do one know if this happen to all the clients without anyone is able to speak up. Hence this is few things that could be looked at and discussed in civilized manner and benefit everyone.

 

I believe the "sex-and-go" you talk about is a part of this industry. Maybe it's not for you and maybe it's not for some providers but it exists and I don't think it should be dismissed.

 

I am a member of other boards and allowing negative comments can get out of hand. It's difficult because a sexual experience is so personal and none of us respond to criticism well.

 

Now I realize that this business is unique because the experience is so personal but in the end it is a business and I believe all of us search online for all kinds of services and we like to read all comments. Regardless of the service, if you read 10 nice comments about someone providing a service and 1 nasty mean spirited comment then you use common sense to realize that this person probably provides a good service and there are some assholes that no one can satisfy.

 

You highlighted the point really well "none of us respond to criticism well."

But common sense is not really that common, quickest assumption would say based on the last review things might have changed and this providers is now have completely changed the experience.

 

Sex and go is part of the industry - major part. I do not dismiss the fact; but if you are looking for a sex and go; did you get off? Then her part is done. Shouldn't you ask what is provided in the beginning? And back to that if a provider advertised something but not following up then it back to your first point; is it something negative or just false advertising or maybe YMMV? Without being able to review - this will always be a grey area shaded with uncertainty hence it will be taken as negative.

 

Take it to the other board; let it go rampage over there - CERB is not the place. I never said I stuck only to CERB. Does not mean I don't find it distasteful as most of the negative review I've seen is more bashing rather than commenting for constructive.

[CristyCurves 169032]

This is a very thorny issue. Firstly, you imply that there are "sneaky" negative comments that have managed to be posted on this board. I would say they are few and far between. People have learned that those are caught out pretty quickly. IMO there are a lot more shills in the rec section than "hidden" negative comments.

 

The problem here is that when someone writes a recommendation, you are essentially asking for a critique. However the value of that critique is diminished if you can only say positive things. I don't think I have had very many experiences in my life that were 100% positive. There is always something that could have been better. The value of a true critique is that someone can improve their service to make it better. If that is something they want to do.

 

So we have the situation here where clients don't write recs, and we get threads like the one this past week, that call their motives into question. A thread the mod had to shut down.

 

Of course as mentioned before any place that allows negative comments is going to get the trolls and others who revel in complaining. Just look at any other review site, like Trip Advisor, restaurant rating sites etc. etc. They get their share of trolls and shit disturbers, but the real reviews give important information not only to other potential customers, but to the person or persons being reviewed. They get feedback that can help them improve their service.

 

The choice for the provider is to take the valid criticism and address it to fix a problem, or to ignore it, get defensive, go on the attack. They can react positively or negatively. The point is that IMO frankly discussing or giving a valid critique with negative points, can be beneficial. But it can also result in more negativity.

 

This board chose to allow no negative comments, and I think it has been fairly successful. I don't think any negative comments that may be hidden were put there by the trolls and people trying to stir the pot. It takes time and thought to do something like that, things that are in short supply in trolls. If there is a "sneaky' negative comment on this board I think it is most likely would have some validity, and a wise person would take it to heart.

Thank you for your response:) I didn't imply there were "sneaky" comments, sorry if you saw it that way. I said, there have been negative comments worded in a way that were acceptable to the board. They weren't sneaky as they were deliberately written and perhaps rightfully so:) but necessary? or valid,? That depends on your point of view:) I don't think anyone should take anyone's comment-positive or negative "to heart" but that's up to them to decide, lol.:) I didn't want to make quotes as I wanted this thread to be a generalization. A cause for thought, not one in which fingers are pointed.:) I apologize if that comment eludes to that.

No provider should HAVE to take anything-criticism or otherwise, but a comment or a discussion made in a friendly helpful way may go along way and leave both parties better off, especially when done discreetly and privately. To compare those types of criticisms to restaurant reviews, travel boards etc, however, isn't helpful or reasonable:) as this business is dealing with something completely unique and in its own category. Also and as Areez pointed out ,I realize it's never an easy thing to do, to bring up disappointing issues, experiences, or letdowns with a stranger you've just met, but better done in person then openly posting about it ,imo, I think we are all aware when someone is acting out of good intent, trying to help one improve and not just trying to be negative and be critical:) thank you for your point of view;)

[sparky7545 390]

At the risk of sounding a little harsh, I think a fair review is just that. And it is up to the reader to interpret and take away what they will from any review. Compare this to any other review system. There are always going to be people who will twist their reviews to the negative based on personal preferences that will mean nothing to most people. Then again, there may be some critical information that didn't come across in the ad (sorry ladies, and believe me I think you are all fabulous, but you don't ALL have a technique that is different and better from every other provider on the planet, the nicest cleanest incall, etc.). From a very much newbie hobbiest's point of view, this is a very expensive hobby (and you are very much worth it) but if a bit of information, and I DO NOT mean a personal attack here, lets me be confident that I am approaching the right person for the service that is best for me, that is very important to me. This is the nature of a public service industry, and some people may not be cut out for it. I would recommend putting as much info as possible in your ads, link reviews you want potential customers to see so we don't go searching and find Mr. Pettyman's rant on another board, and a big one, if your concerned about being knocked on looks, include multiple pics so the person reading the ad can see for themselves and not get some guy with unrealistic expectations giving his 2 cents...

[roamingguy 300291]

For me an encounter isn't a case of was it one hundred percent positive, ninety percent positive sixty percent positive well you get the idea. My recommendations are about telling about seeing a lady and that I had a good time with her. No sliding scale percentage wise of how good, just that I had a good time with her. One thing about the recommendations I write, the encounter to me had a intangible value far exceeding the donation I paid the lady.

All the ladies, every one, is beautiful. Their beauty deserves to be appreciated, especially since they are with you alone intimately. Their looks should not be assessed by men on how to improve. Who are we men to even judge these ladies on their looks. Those who do might want to take a look in the mirror, or have the ladies assess their looks. And none of the ladies I see criticize me for being a bald, middle aged, overweight man. They appreciate me for the man I am.

And criticizing a lady after an encounter...well do any such criticizers (reviewers) ever look in the mirror. An encounter is about two people, of which the reviewer is one. Maybe his actions or inactions contributed to the poor encounter. But with a review any failure of an encounter is borne completely by the woman. And that failure could mean loss of self respect, loss of income, possibly her livelihood gone. Even with the few (very few) poor dates I've had I understood there were two of us in the room, maybe (but not likely ;-) ) I contributed to the poor date.

If there were things in the date that need improving, either contact the lady privately and let her know, that would be respectful. Or just don't have another encounter with her

Finally one last thing. Some people on here talk about reviews. CERB is not a review board. CERB is a recommendation board. Here on CERB positive recommendations are allowed, reviews are not. This is covered under the Rules and FAQ section which should have been read when you joined

A rambling

RG

[sparky7545 390]

To compare those types of criticisms to restaurant reviews, travel boards etc, however, isn't helpful or reasonable:) as this business is dealing with something completely unique and in its own category.

I'm sorry, but have to disagree on that. This service is absolutely different and much more personal preference but it's up to the review reader to take that into account. But we are talking about just that, a service industry, where the customer does not walk away with a shiny new object that can be clearly seen before parting with hard earned dollars. There really is no other way other than to research reviews to get an idea of what you are getting into. This is only one tool, the ad, absolutely talking to the SP before meeting, etc. should also be in the toolbox. I do agree 100% with your point that if there is a disappointment in your session, it would be appropriate to mention it after. The risk there is that it will STILL be taken personally, the person go on the defensive, and you have a coffee cup take flight towards your head. To handicap reviews to only be positive isn't fair to the customer making a decision based on them, and if this is the case to call them reviews is incorrect. Let's start calling them praises. I would still read praises, take valuable info from them, and use them to help any decisions, but also factor in that anything less than positive has been filtered out.

[CristyCurves 169032]

include multiple pics so the person reading the ad can see for themselves and not get some guy with unrealistic expectations giving his 2 cents...

 

 

You've raised a valid and interesting point-which may lead to some being disappointed. Most providers do provide enough pictures to give a client a clear view of themselves but with hormones raging and when dealing with the fantasies of sex some may set their expectations of what's to come to high, therefore leaving only room for disappointments and letdowns and possibly negative reviews. We all can look at the same picture yet no two sets of eyes will see it the same way:)That could also be said for reading and interpreting directions and services. Thank you for your response:)

[Guest realnicehat]

To handicap reviews to only be positive isn't fair to the customer making a decision based on them, and if this is the case to call them reviews is incorrect. Let's start calling them praises. I would still read praises, take valuable info from them, and use them to help any decisions, but also factor in that anything less than positive has been filtered out.

 

Interesting idea but what if instead of "praises" they were called recommendations?

 

OMG we could start a whole board that is only recommendations! Why hasn't anyone thought of this?

 

Meh, never mind. Nobody's going to join a board like that. ;)

[CristyCurves 169032]

This is only one tool, the ad, absolutely talking to the SP before metting, etc. should also be in the toolbox. I do agree 100% with your point that if there is a disappointment in your session, it would be appropriate to mention it after. The risk there is that it will STILL be taken personally, the person go on the defensive, and you have a coffee cup take flight towards your head. LOL, most people are reasonable, I don't think that would be the likely result:)To handicap reviews to only be positive isn't fair to the customer making a decision based on them, and if this is the case to call them reviews is incorrect. I wasn't suggesting that remember I posed the question-is outing anyone as a "bad" provider or "a" you should pass on this one guys" was really beneficial to anyone. You can:) write a review-even a negative review without personally attacking someone or belittling them, was more to my point. Let's start calling them praises. I would still read praises, take valuable info from them, and use them to help any decisions, but also factor in that anything less than positive has been filtered out.

Thank you:)

[WriteOn 3250]

 

Take it to the other board; let it go rampage over there - CERB is not the place. I never said I stuck only to CERB. Does not mean I don't find it distasteful as most of the negative review I've seen is more bashing rather than commenting for constructive.

 

I never implied you stuck only to CERB. Like you I use multiple sources when I look for an encounter.

 

As distasteful as you find it you still do go look on sites that do allow negative comments so you must see some use for them. Which is really all I was pointing out.

[sparky7545 390]

Interesting idea but what if instead of "praises" they were called recommendations?

 

OMG we could start a whole board that is only recommendations! Why hasn't anyone thought of this?

 

Meh, never mind. Nobody's going to join a board like that. ;)

 

Yeah yeah, but here we are calling them "reviews" ;)

 

Additional Comments:

Cristy, you pointed out the real issue there with "Bad provider" or "skip this one guys". That's going beyond just giving an honest review of your experience and instead pushing the reader away from making their own decision. :D There's a middle ground between the ad (which is of course self promotion and so it should be) and individual takes on an experience. No one likes a critique but no one likes to walk into a situation based on exagerated pretenses either lol My opionion, anyone who makes a decision on only one type of input is setting themselves up for a disappointment OR missing out on what could be a perfect thing for them. With that I'll stop spamming this thread lol

[Areez 11906]

I never implied you stuck only to CERB. Like you I use multiple sources when I look for an encounter.

 

As distasteful as you find it you still do go look on sites that do allow negative comments so you must see some use for them. Which is really all I was pointing out.

 

Then maybe we are on the same page anyway; any information is good information. The problem is how the information is presented and perceived by the masses.

[muncher459 1040]

I may be a little late into the fray, but do agree with Cristy that sometimes the negative comments that do occur have not been presented in a very nice way. Constructive criticism and frankness, have given way to people bashing others if their expectations are not met, and sometimes this is simply chemistry.But on the other hand I agree that it would be hard to approach a SP about something you found grossly lacking....best to just move on, it would be nice if we could just simple have a conversation about it, but we all have issues that color the way we hear or say things. But sometimes, things do come through if you read between the lines....especially if you have had the same experience, I have seen such comments about SPs that I have had the same experience with....at that point I simply contact the poster privately and compare notes....eventually the type of issue we have experienced, although at the time really isn't a big enough deal to complain about, will surface on its own someplace and lots of people will come forward to confirm, but it is probably not right to bring something up if you might be the only one with that issue

 

I find this board to be both friendly and informative in a very positive environment, other boards suit my advertising needs, and are entertaining in the fact that there are some very "sexist " attitudes out there that you wouldn't expect in a forum dedicated to this type of lifestyle. And I do hate the mean spirited posts that I see else where

[roamingguy 300291]

To handicap reviews to only be positive isn't fair to the customer making a decision based on them, and if this is the case to call them reviews is incorrect. Let's start calling them praises. I would still read praises, take valuable info from them, and use them to help any decisions, but also factor in that anything less than positive has been filtered out.

 

Reviews aren't handicapped here, they aren't allowed. OK I guess this board does handicap someone who wants to post reviews. But everyone who joined Canadian Escort Recommendation Board (CERB) knows this when they created their profile and signed up. And if you read the Rules and FAQ as all new members should, you know reviews aren't done here

Here is an excerpt from the Rules and FAQ

Welcome to the site!

 

"PLEASE READ THESE RULES:

-No Slander

-Post only positive recommendations! This is not a review board!

-If you do not have anything nice to say don't say it!

 

Please do not post links to other escort directories other than

- Escorts-canada.com

- localescorts.ca

- lyla.com

Please do not make references to other sites either with CODE words or OFF SPELLING as we do moderate the board and will ban you for breaking this rule. This site is sponsored by the approved directories listed above. You can put references to the ladies personal websites.

 

-Do not post links to other escort discussion forms

-No Spam!

 

Service providers can post ads in the announcements section only - not in the other sections. Service providers are encouraged to participate in discussions however you can not advertise your services or hijack threads. Service providers are asked to read the posting rules for advertising - it's free to advertise here just please read the rules first!

 

Be nice and we will have a good community here. We do have a short "no-discussion list" of escorts who do not wish to be mentioned - please read the list regularly and respect them by not posting publicly. If someone asks about them you can PM the info only.

 

Guys, do not post rates of the ladies and please do not try to get the ladies to lower prices! Discussions here are not to be based on prices. The ladies have the right to choose the price they wish to charge and they have the right to post their rates publicly if they wish to. Even with the ladies permission we ask that you do not post the ladies prices.

 

Nude photos showing genitals (including public hair, vagina, penis, anus, sexual acts or anything illeal of course) are not permitted on the site.

 

What we are all about here....

 

Are you looking for BAD reviews of who to avoid?? If so you came to the wrong place but if you ask about a specific lady that is known to be bad our members will most likely PM you the details of why to avoid that person. Boards do exist that show who to watch out for but keep in mind that these boards (Like ours) are anonymous so you can not believe everything that is posted by everyone. That holds true here as well but we have a good system to weed out the bad people.

 

Many people try to slander the ladies reputations - it could have been the guy was a jerk, drunk, had bad body odor or any number of reasons and he is pissed and wants to "Show her" and try to slander her like a coward!. Sometimes the bad reviews come from the other ladies or boyfriends of the ladies who think they are doing a favor by getting rid of the competition - yes this happens ALL THE TIME!!!) it's hard to find the good in all the bad on some of these other boards.

 

We felt a nice discussion board was needed, one where the ladies would enjoy contributing with the general public without fear of being slammed/bashed/slandered/and just publicly made to look like they are subhuman. These are real people just like you and me and everyone deserves respect. Maybe the bad ones will learn a thing or two about how to be good and fix the problems by the other ladies example! We can only hope!

 

Our board just allows positive recommendations for anyone who feels someone deserves extra credit (again this could be fake but we usually find out fairly quickly and get rid of the shill posters to ensure the content here is very accurate). We encourage general discussions, jokes and anything of interest. We also allow the ladies to post availability and announcements in a special area outside of the general discussion and recommendation threads."

 

This board is not a review board.

This board is a recommendation board.

Nothing incorrect here, we don't call them reviews since they aren't allowed, we call them recommendations. And ladies who provide services recommendation worthy should be receiving recommendations, those who don't, well they don't get recommendations

A quick rambling

RG

[Andee 220524]

I think we have learned publicly discussing the merits of whether to discuss negative experiences isn't apparently beneficial either.

 

But thanks for the effort, Cristy.