What is retirement?

[Guest c**io**m7]

I have been thinking about the word "retirement" as it relates to this community for a while now and thought, what the hell, why not post?

 

Take me for example. I promised my lady that curiousm7 would retire. After some discussion, we agreed that sensual massage is ok especially now that she knows what it is. So, we have an agreement. I can continue to see MA as long as there are no "extras" but, SP is off limits. I, therefore, am only semi-retired.

 

In my time here, I have seen several hobbyists back away only to return. I wonder, is it because of addiction, horniness or just missing the NSA fun?

 

Same for the ladies. I have seen many ladies bow-out only to return, sometimes in short order. So, I ask...once we are here, do we really ever retire or do we just take a small break? What motivates us to walk away, both hobbyists and ladies, and what motivates us to return?

 

I hope I don't offend anyone with my curiosity but, it is something I have been wondering for a while.

 

To answer my own question to get things started. I left for a lady and, honestly, I missed the MA experience with a certain lady. With open communication, my lady has met this MA and agrees that it is ok to see her once in a while. Hell, on top of being smokin hot, she does give an amazing massage. In fact, my lady found out recently that her massages can make our sex life just as smokin due to the rejuvenation I feel afterwards.

 

I know many may not want to chime in but, it would be good to hear from former retirees...hobbyists and ladies.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Personally I'm in wind down phase and when I do "retire" I will fade to black. No hobby-related activities of any nature. This phase of my life will be over.

 

Peace

MG

[Cute0aza0Button 21399]

I'm seeing a guy pretty regularly who says he's retired. Maybe some are better at retirement than others lol

[bcguy42 38594]

It comes to mind that your probably won't get much feedback from those who have truly retired and stayed retired since, in all likelihood they are not here.

 

Retirement crosses my mind now and again. Usually it comes up when I am feeling realistic and depressed. But then it passes and I remain - I hate the term "in the game" - here.

[CoolCucumber 2610]

Sounds like the type of guy who wears blue polka dot boxers. These kind of guys live life to the fullest and only appreciate the finer things in life. Rarely does retirement stop them from doing what they want. If your retired guy keeps seeing you after he's retired from seeing all others, it's because, for him, you're one of the finer things in life. And he's probably right. :p

 

I'm seeing a guy pretty regularly who says he's retired. Maybe some are better at retirement than others lol

[WriteOn 3250]

CERB is a funny place, in many cases it seems some members here have the us against the world mentality. When I saw a thread about retirement I assumed it was about someone who was retiring after long life of employment. Not so.

I read members on CERB talking about people who do not hire escorts as "civilians"... like you're in the military? Here on CERB that statement makes sense only because it gives you a sense of "community". THEY, don't understand us.

 

Curiosm7 please don't take this personal, I've read your posts and you seem like a great guy, I'm glad you and your SO have come to a mutual understanding regarding your interaction with a/some MP's.

 

Just giving some thoughts from an "outsider".

[MightyPen 67414]

I read members on CERB talking about people who do not hire escorts as "civilians"... like you're in the military?

Uh... no. Not like that. (Ew.) It's really just shorthand for "those who do not participate in the industry, and therefore usually lack direct experience and understanding of its nature and dynamics." Or... "civilians". Though I really don't see it used here very much at all.

 

Here on CERB that statement makes sense only because it gives you a sense of "community". THEY, don't understand us.

Yes it does. And usually, they don't. Heck, there's a whole, very long thread active right now on that very subject.

 

The concept of a community makes sense, 'cause it distinguishes those of us who have direct experience seeing escorts from those who don't, and the gulf in perception and understanding of the sex industry's providers and clients that just about everybody reports from dealing with, uh, non-participants.

 

It's not community in the sense of "we're special and others keep out!", but rather "knows and gets it" vs. "doesn't know and doesn't get it".

 

Just giving some thoughts from an "outsider".

Cool! Thanks.

 

 

On the subject of retirement: Really the answer to "why and what does it mean?" will be as varied as the answer to "why do people see escorts in the first place?". It varies from person to person, and from time to time.

[roamingguy 300291]

I'm not retired and right now I'm not at all ready to retire from this lifestyle

But this year due to personal circumstances I could only have two encounters (great encounters) and it made me realize how important to me are the connections I made with ladies in this lifestyle and how much this lifestyle is a part of my life, and how much I missed the ladies' companionship. Here's hoping for a much better 2014 and that retirement is a long ways off

 

RG

[Guest **zz**x]

I think there are some differences in psychology among folks on here that has an influence on ideas of retirement. There are folks that are just horny and curious types that like the novelty and once they have pushed every button and turn every knob they loose interest and retire. They don't come back.

 

I think there are others that are struggling with long term/intense relations outside of cerb - they are married or attached- and want to leave the CERB situation (they feel guilty and dirty) yet can live without some "strangeness" in their lives (they feel alive). These folks often swing between being players and then retiring and their choice is never final. These folk can be hobbyists or sps.

 

Finally, there are folks that, once having entered the cerb community, and feeling the freedom of being straight about what you want and feel, can't adjust to civilian life. They continue hobbling and only retire when funds are not available.

[Guest c**io**m7]

CERB is a funny place, in many cases it seems some members here have the us against the world mentality. When I saw a thread about retirement I assumed it was about someone who was retiring after long life of employment. Not so.

I read members on CERB talking about people who do not hire escorts as "civilians"... like you're in the military? Here on CERB that statement makes sense only because it gives you a sense of "community". THEY, don't understand us.

 

Curiosm7 please don't take this personal, I've read your posts and you seem like a great guy, I'm glad you and your SO have come to a mutual understanding regarding your interaction with a/some MP's.

 

Just giving some thoughts from an "outsider".

 

I don't take much personally. In fact, I respect all points of view and opinions...even if they differ from my own.

[Guest realnicehat]

I think that full retirement only occurs when one finds all of their needs being met outside of the hobby, whatever those needs may be.

 

Curiousm7, first congratulations on finding a very open minded new partner. While it is admirable of you to try and retire for her clearly you still had a need that wasn't being met, and so you've returned in a limited capacity.

 

If I were to find a "civilian" ;) that fulfilled my sexual desires and need for affection I would likely retire as well. Until such a time (if it ever comes), body and bank account willing, I will seek what I require here.

[WriteOn 3250]

If I were to find a "civilian" ;) that fulfilled my sexual desires and need for affection I would likely retire as well. Until such a time (if it ever comes), body and bank account willing, I will seek what I require here.

 

Keep your bank account stoked. You will be here a long time. What you seek can only be bought.

 

Additional Comments:

 

 

It's not community in the sense of "we're special and others keep out!", but rather "knows and gets it" vs. "doesn't know and doesn't get it".

 

 

 

 

It is a community in the sense that it is us against them. You can differentiate the parties as you will.

[MightyPen 67414]

It is a community in the sense that it is us against them.

Dude, "against" is entirely your own insertion there. Huh. It's almost as if we just did our own little Rorschach test, but with my words instead of pictures!

 

I don't see the division as remotely adversarial, it just reflects two different conceptual spaces.

[Frank7 3939]

Keep your bank account stoked. You will be here a long time. What you seek can only be bought.

 

A lot of people outside of cerb manage to find someone to fulfill there sexual desires and emotionnal needs. I don't see how you came to the conclusion that it can only be bought.

 

Even those that offer it for a donation (MA and SP) also give it for free in there personnal life.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

As long as the reasons that brought you here remain, I don't think retirement will be weighing on your mind. Maybe guilt or finances could cause one to retire, or contemplate it, but if the reasons remain, you will likely drift back.

Hopefully one day you will be able to simply say "it's time".

[WriteOn 3250]

As long as the reasons that brought you here remain, I don't think retirement will be weighing on your mind. Maybe guilt or finances could cause one to retire, or contemplate it, but if the reasons remain, you will likely drift back.

Hopefully one day you will be able to simply say "it's time".

 

 

Retirement = stop seeing escorts?

 

It seems like you are saying that seeing escorts is a bad thing.

 

To say guilt or finances could cause someone to stop seeing escorts implies that it is a bad thing to see an escort.

 

"Hopefully one day you will be able to simply say "it's time""

 

This statement says it all. I don't agree, I don't think I need to stop seeing escorts, I don't think it is a problem that I see escorts.

 

Additional Comments:

Dude, "against" is entirely your own insertion there. Huh. It's almost as if we just did our own little Rorschach test, but with my words instead of pictures!

 

I don't see the division as remotely adversarial, it just reflects two different conceptual spaces.

 

 

You are entitled to your own reality, it does not make it right, no matter how popular it is.

[lotsfi 100]

Retirement = stop seeing escorts?

 

It seems like you are saying that seeing escorts is a bad thing.

 

To say guilt or finances could cause someone to stop seeing escorts implies that it is a bad thing to see an escort.

 

 

 

If you have an SO and your lying to her about anything whether it's hobbying or anything else. Anytime you choose to lie to your SO, wouldn't you say it's bad? Not trying to judge anyone, I just know that my reasons for being on this board and seeing Sp's is for self improvement. And if I ever do find an SO then I would absolutely retire. Actually once I feel I've gotten everything I can for my own self improvement I'll quit.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Yup, the world is not black and white, it's in Full Color and every shade therein. Thanks for the comment RNH, well said.

As for writeon and lotsfi's comments, I am married and my reasons are my own for being here. I was referring to us hobbyist's who have SO's when I talked about guilt as a possible reason for retiring. My wife has said in the past she would not be devastated if I "stepped out" on occasion, as long as I was discreet, used protection and it was not with the same person twice. Having said that I still imagine she would like to think she meets all my needs so I don't tell her "I'm going out for an hour to see SP, I'll be back on time for supper".

Even with so called permission I can still feel guilt. Is that too grey for you to grasp?

[LeeRichards 177238]

Retirement for me is when a guy that never smiles injects me with some crazy shit, puts makeup on my face so I will look 25 years younger, puts me in a pine box, lets people look at me in a church, then closes the lid forever, wheels me out, throws me in a hole and chucks some pretty flowers in and then shovels dirt on me. ;)

[WriteOn 3250]

Even with so called permission I can still feel guilt. Is that too grey for you to grasp?

 

Ummm, no, but that's not what this thread is about.

[Guest realnicehat]

Ummm, no, but that's not what this thread is about.

 

You're right. Let's get back to your delusional theory of the boards "us against the world" mentality as I'm sure that is exactly what the OP meant by "retirement". :icon_rolleyes:

[LeeRichards 177238]

Originally Posted by Stevemcqueen

Even with so called permission I can still feel guilt. Is that too grey for you to grasp?

Ummm, no, but that's not what this thread is about.

 

From the original poster ..... "What motivates us to walk away ?"

Ummm, ya, that is what this thread is about and guilt can be a motivator. Don't ya think ? I do I do.

 

and from you Writeon ... To say guilt or finances could cause someone to stop seeing escorts implies that it is a bad thing to see an escort.

?? Nope ... it is a simple life situation that does and has happened that guilt or finances could be a "reason" to stop seeing an escort. If your not feeling it or can't afford it ? .... then don't do it. Nothing bad about it and no slight meant to the ladies.

[CoolCucumber 2610]

Well, I'm a guy who is supposedly retiring, so maybe I can shed some light here. We all partake in this lifestyle for different reasons. It could be fear of commitment, addiction to sex, love of sex, it floats your boat, etc. One retires from this lifestyle when the reason for living the lifestyle is no longer there. For me, there were many reasons to enjoy the lifestyle and then there were many reasons for wanting to quit. The main reason for wanting to quit is personal and I'd rather not say it here but there is now a light at the end of that tunnel when there was none before. Should I reach the end of the tunnel, it will open new doors and all of them lead out of this lifestyle. So although I linger because of one gem that is too precious to put down, I will walk, or be carried, away sooner rather than later and my status will go from retiring to retired.

[olderguy 5797]

I'm guessing when I retire, it will be similar to the motivation of a pro athlete retiring.... My body simply won't let me play the game I love anymore ;)

[Luscious.Tianna 12254]

Retirement???

Well Im still young and haven't once thought about Retirement

I understand why both hobbyists and service providers feel the need to take a break or even completely retire...We all need a break from things in life....

I love what I do, and I cant see myself doing anything else, I couldn't see myself giving up this job for anyone or any thing...

I wouldn't be able to give up this career for a significant other, I love my job and I wont be leaving it any time soon

Kisses and Stay Sexy xxo