How to tell a client you don't want to see them again?

[Julie By Night 131]

Hi my friends! :smile:

 

I have a dilemma that has come up and I am unsure of what to do about it, so I come to you, my friends so wise , and ask for your suggestions.

 

I have a client I saw that I am not interested in seeing again. The experience was not what I am comfortable with in terms of providing what they are seeking :-?, although I did the entire hour anyway and just decided that I would not make it a repeat.

 

My dilemma is that the client had a really great experience with me (of course ;)), and wants to continue to meet regularly. How do I tell them I am not interested in this without being a bitch or making the client feel bad? :confused:

 

This is a first for me so I am not sure how to handle it delicately and say the right thing. Any help would be greatly appreciated! :lol:

 

All suggestions and related stories are welcome! :idea:

 

As always,

Julie :-D

[jg24 3707]

Well as a client I would just prefer to be told

 

I had seen this lady several times over past 3yrs and tried booking or just asking if she is avaliable but have been ignored for last little while and she is on here almost everday

 

As a larger person I can understand my frame size is not everyones cup a tea but to see someone over a 3yr period and then be ignored makes one wonder

 

Just be upfront and tell this person I know for me I would be more appreciative of this way rather than being ignored

 

Its just like when we see a lady and it doesn't work the way you want you don't go back and if she emails or pms me asking if I want to see her I politely say no thanks

 

Just my thoughts

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[PistolPete 61421]

Yup I sooner be told the straight poop! Send me a note and tell me, but do not ignore. I'm sure Julie, you can find the expression of words to send off to him to break it to him gently and nicely.

[ottanon 2930]

Just tell them you don't feel any chemistry and would prefer if they saw someone else... Its your body and your choice.

[rileydaniels 1901]

I generally say that I am busy when they call or that I am fully booked, and sometimes I just tell them I am no longer interested in seeing them.

 

I am learning there is no nice way of telling a client you do not want to see them.

[Guest s******ecan****]

Hi my friends! :smile:

 

The experience was not what I am comfortable with in terms of providing what they are seeking :-?, although I did the entire hour anyway and just decided that I would not make it a repeat.

 

 

I'd say you answered your own question with this quote. Just be upfront and explain it exactly as above. This seems a perfectly reasonable way to phrase it.

 

Good luck

[Old Dog 179138]

I am with the rest of the guys on this one... find a pleasant spin and let them know. It's bad enough waiting for your chance, but it's even worse when you have no idea that chance will never come again.

 

I wouldn't necessarily sugar coat it... but a pleasant and professional "I think our time has run its natural course and I think it best that we not see each other," will suffice. Who knows, it might be better for both of you!

[capitalman 3861]

I've been led astray many times with wishy washy answers from girls that don't know how to say "I don't like you" and in the end I wish they just said the truth and let me go in peace, instead of me banging my head against a wall for so long before I figured it out.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

 

The experience was not what I am comfortable with in terms of providing what they are seeking :-?,

 

Your answer is in the body of your question, assuming that's the whole story. I think this is a very polite and honest way to approach the issue with the client.

[omehgosh 736]

I'm in agreement with everyone.

 

First - I'd rather be told straight-up, than to have to guess why I'm being brushed off.

 

Second, and more important to me - I'd really rather not be with an SP (anyone, in any sort of relationship for that matter!) that I make feel uncomfortable.

 

There's nothing wrong with you feeling the way you feel, sometimes people just aren't compatible... I'd just tell him politely, then move on. His ego may be bruised slightly, but he'll get over it.

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

You can always just tell him like the others have said and give him a few suggestion's of other ladies that he may like.

[bylogger 136]

I agree with everyone so far. Let me add a proviso.

 

Just be careful if the person is violent, which I certainly believe is not the case for those on this list. People do not like to be criticised. They also do not like to be ignored. You are in a no win situation in regards to declining. If the issue is the actions, then state it is the actions, not the person, that is the problem. If it is both, then simply say no thank-you, and avoid going into the client related reasons.

 

Your comfort and safety are important.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

I think in these situations you need to think of this as your business, act professional, respectful and with integrity. I've had many clients that I have said no to in the past, some before we meet, some while we are together and some after our date. No one likes rejection and you can always get a little push back for your choice but if you are respectful of him as a person no one will question your integrity.

 

Use I statements, don't reject a future encounter because of who he is let him know that it's because of who you are and your personal comfort levels.

 

Be upfront and answer his questions directly, lying about the reason will read as false and just leave him wondering what he did (or what is wrong with you).

 

Thank them, sincerely. They were kind enough to not only contact you but to show an interest in it again, that is a compliment in itself.

 

As Emma said offer a suggestion of another lady or two; if your reasoning for not seeing him is simply the date didn't fall in range of what you are comfortable with then let him know what ladies might be better suited to his type of encounter. If of course you don't think that anyone will enjoy a date with him or you don't know anyone suited to his preferences then politely explain that.

 

For future reference I believe the best situation is that if you are not having a good time during the date let him know then. It's much harder to hear that someone didn't enjoy your company, didn't share your interests and didn't speak up than to offer the opportunity to make the engagement better for both of you. Sometimes that means refunding and sending them on their way (as you won't find a middle ground) but more often than not you'll find something you both enjoy. Doing so will demonstrate your integrity and I've found most clients respect that. Very few people are truly interested in a one sided date where you are only going through the motions and in general those aren't the people you want to see. Instead speak up at the time, say "hey that's nice that you like that but it doesn't work for me, lets try this..." If you are really enjoying yourself then he'll find a pleasure in that.

[VictoriaJolie 64127]

Hmm it is a very delicate situation.Regardless of the guys saying here that they would like to know ...I can say,first hand,that most react very badly when they get told.

I had guys that i just had a huge incompatibility and i can count on one hand the ones that react nicely and politly,when i told them.It usually results insults.

So...Confront or ignoring the person...both are rarely positive.

 

It is the same for reference...So many ladies don't know what to tell the gents when it get back as negative comments.

 

So my advice would be try to remember how this person was and what could be his reaction before deciding.If you take the plunge and tell him

I would choose carefully my words to try to avoid to hurt his ego as much as possible.

It is always result better to blame our self for something that don't work out than the other person.

 

VJ

[Guest s******ecan****]

Hmm it is a very delicate situation.Regardless of the guys saying here that they would like to know ...I can say,first hand,that most react very badly when they get told.

I had guys that i just had a huge incompatibility and i can count on one hand the ones that react nicely and politly,when i told them.It usually results insults.

So...Confront or ignoring the person...both are rarely positive.

 

It is the same for reference...So many ladies don't know what to tell the gents when it get back as negative comments.

 

So my advice would be try to remember how this person was and what could be his reaction before deciding.If you take the plunge and tell him

I would choose carefully my words to try to avoid to hurt his ego as much as possible.

 

 

VJ

 

Wise counsel indeed, I remember I was with an SP once and during our session I suggested some dirty talk. She stopped me immediately and said firmly but politely that she didn't do that, she then explained in the past she had tried to be take on different personalities to suit her clients but had learned it was not right for her.

I was new to the hobby and will admit I was slightly taken aback. I was however a true and polite gentleman and respected what she said. It was our 2nd encounter (both multi hour with some geting to know you time beforehand) so perhaps she felt completely confident that I would react politely (her profile and website do not indicate a specific "menu" or that dirty talk is not on so I had no way of knowing).

 

I think Victoria is right that it is very delicate and discretion is always a good idea.

[Leber 1328]

Honesty is the best policy so noone's time is wasted.

[Compedro 100]

Julie,

There is no easy way to do this....but being straight forward with your client is definitely the way to go....

 

Remember - its not easy for your client to hear this either....

 

Best of Luck

[777flyer 1612]

Julie,

 

Most MATURE and REASONABLE people will deal with the truth that you no longer want to see them and will move on.....

 

Some people however, tend to be immature and trouble makers, and may be persistent in-spite of you telling them the truth.....and may cause you some grief....

 

If you suspect this person is immature, or may not accept the news well, then perhaps simply telling them that you are curtailing your time and services considerably and have very limited time...and then don't respond to emails or if you feel compelled to, just tell them you are too busy..... they will gently get the message !

 

SNK

[Jackie James 215]

I generally say that I am busy when they call or that I am fully booked, and sometimes I just tell them I am no longer interested in seeing them.

 

I am learning there is no nice way of telling a client you do not want to see them.

 

 

I agree, it's a very tricky situation.

Usually, I end up not taking their calls. :oops:

 

I know I should say something but, just can't find it in me....... : /

[mrgreen760 37785]

Personally I'd prefer the straight up approach. Similarly if I've seen some one more than once I'd never just disappear without a heads up.

 

Peace

Mr Green

[Carrie Moon 68826]

 

It is always result better to blame our self for something that don't work out than the other person.

 

VJ

 

aha! the old ''It's not you. It's me" break up line.. Seinfeld reference :)

 

Victoria is right. Usually the person you wish to not see again doesn't take it well.. The main reason you choose not to see someone is their behaviour! so...more often than not they will not take it well.

 

I still see clients whose hygiene may lack or their appearance/lack of skills may be a turn off but if they are respectful that goes a much longer way than any thing else and I continue to see them.

 

So.. it's the disrespectful ones I spurn who get angry. Usually I'm able to tell if they are going to be disrespectful before we even meet now.. so it's much easier to tell them I'm not interested in their business. Save a lot of hassle.. but they still can get nasty.

 

I once made the mistake of telling a guy right after seeing me who asked to be a regular that I wasn't interested in seeing him again. He immediately wrote a horrible review but since it was right after it happened I was able to fight back about why I refused him and several people stuck up for me..

 

I should have better just said no problem and then avoided his calls..

 

It's a tough situation to be in.. no answer is necessarily the right one. We all think we'd rather hear the truth.. but sometimes the truth hurts and we react badly.

 

The ones who would react with grace are usually the ones who don't need to be told! IMHO.

[Julie By Night 131]

Well thanks for all the great advice guys! :idea:

 

I decided that e-mail was the way to go and it was fine.

 

:arrow: I just wanted to add a couple of things here...

 

I do feel that brushing someone off and just avoiding them is definitely not kosher. :? I don't think it is fair to just avoid someone's phone calls until they "get the hint". I like a more straightforward approach so that they can take the time to look for someone else who can meet their needs....as well, I don't want to be known for not returning calls or messages. :confused:

 

One of the things I love about this job is that I can be my own boss and decide who I want to have as a client. I always give someone that first opportunity, to feel them out (no pun intended lol), more or less, and see what they are into :69:, if it's not entirely specified in the initial contact before the meeting. Then I make the choice afterwards whether I am comfortable with seeing them again. This was just the first time this situation had come up for me, so I wanted to hear other opinions. I do, however, still make the meeting a pleasurable one for the client as long as it is something I feel I can handle for the hour. I'm sure if anything too uncomfortable happened I would definitely make it known right there at the time. :p

 

But that's just me! I love hearing all your different points of view! Koodos!

 

Julie :-D

[Carrie Moon 68826]

Good to hear it went well Jules.. Kudos to you :)

[BownChickaBown 4829]

I can only speak for myself when I say I believe honesty is the best policy. :)

 

...but as someone who can be bluntly honest at times, I do understand how some people just can't take hearing the truth and will always try and shoot the messenger.

 

Rejection is never easy but c'est la vie - I know as a hobbyist I don't explain myself when I don't repeat with a SP and bump into them here on CERB. To each their own.

 

Getting 'dumped' would just be another part of a 'true' GFE :razz:

 

*sings* Sad but true! (a la Metallica) :twisted:

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

Being a long time sp, it has happen to me a lot...

 

I think the best way to solve this is to be 100% honest...

 

I would say to go straight to the point with him, remembering that you are a professionnel(?) and tell him you are not feeling cormfortable anymore with him...

 

You don't have to justify yourself or feel guilty about it, and if you're afraid of a bad review, remember that CERB does not tolerate slander... There's no serious harm to fear...

 

Also, respecting yourself is VITAL in this industry, and nobody will blame you for it...

 

Best of luck, since I know it's not easy to do...