IamaGeek

I am in a sexless marriage...I haven't been able to get up the nerve to actually meet one of these service providers. Any tips?

I'm sure if you've been browsing and reading, you know the ladies here are wonderful, approachable, warm and friendly. Find a lady you're drawn to and start a conversation and then jump in with both feet. Everyone has certain needs and when those needs aren't met we get a little tense, cranky, distracted etc.

What Midnite said. I was in your exact position. If you are serious about it, then just take her advice and do it. Most providers will understand if you are nervous on your first time (so let them know). The first time I met one I was literally shaking visibly. She calmed my nerves and then . . .

Hmmm. Well, I'm at the point in my life when I am starting to look back almost as often as I look forward. In the past couple of years I have come to feel I really understand this song.

John Hiatt - Slow Turning

It is a jaunty tune and is generally optimistic. However, it does contain the line:

"Life is short and here's the damn thing about it: you're gonna die, gonna die for sure"

Just a reminder to keep your priorities straight.

I'll echo the comments of some others before me.

I am in a marriage with no physical relationship. My wife and I still care for each other and I have no desire to leave the marriage. Maslow's hierarchy of needs (take it as seriously as you wish) lists sex as a first level need along with breathing, food and water. With my wife's knowledge I am taking care of my needs.

My only other comment is that it turns out to be fulfilling in other ways. A couple of the relationships I have formed in pursuing this answer to a need have enriched my life unexpectedly.

My head office received a complimentary message about my work and attitude from a client. CEO called to give me an "attaboy". Every now and then it's nice to know that somebody is paying attention.

. . . with her nose?

Sorry.

Actually a fan of lighter scents as well. My tastes seem to lean more towards spice rather than sweet.

I grew up on a farm and my family are all first generation eastern Europeans and good peasant stock. That means we have always eaten animals nose to tail so I am pretty well acquainted with offal of all kinds. I've tried a variety of seafood and game, so I've had many of the other things mentioned above.

My most adventurous meals occurred when I was in Beijing for three weeks for work. I ate at a large table with my Asian colleagues twice a day and only one of them used his English for me. I believe I have eaten a few bugs, I know that I have eaten chicken feet a couple of times but the most unusual thing was deep red and gelatinous. I asked my friend what it was and he said, while holding his hand over the middle of his chest "a duck - when you leave the blood here". I decided not to ask for clarification and just did not have any more.

Thank you for all the entertainment and the food for thought.

When I'm skimming over a thread and I spy those lovely legs and that distinctive font I know that it's time to stop and read

I'm late in responding to this thread but I've just seen it so what the heck.

I would have to use Samantha's words:

"I'm not ashamed of what I do: I'm very self-protective. Some of the people who are most important to me would not understand my choices"

Unfortunately, this is a fact. I entered this world with my eyes open. After an initial period of secrecy I finally disclosed all to my wife. It is a very long story of how we came to that point but after a long and difficult discussion I know that she still clings to some of her prejudices about sex work and still disapproves. And while she is aware of my actions in general I am very careful to be discreet and protect her from any specific or detailed knowledge of what I do. I still care for her and have no desire to embarrass or hurt her.

She is representative of society in general. I would not disclose what I do to my employers because they would also disapprove and it might adversely affect my job. When it is prudent, I support sex work in discussions in my private life but I am very careful about the circumstances. It may irritate me, but trying to correct someone's mistaken attitudes about sex work might lead to me losing more than I can afford right now.

It isn't right but it is the way things are.

I have to agree that Sean Connery is the proper James Bond to me. I also agree that the Roger Moore wink, wink, nudge, nudge years were the low spot.

The others, well, I can take them or leave them. Daniel Craig has brought back some vitality and attitude to the role and the direction and production in his movies have improved enormously.

I only read one of the Ian Fleming novels and was a bit surprised at how crude James Bond really was. In order to stay true to his origin, Bond has to have a little animal in him. Connery and Craig at least have that going for them.

I am not a coffee snob. I drink coffee from Tim's, from Starbucks', and from my local diners. Having said that, a couple of years ago I discovered the joy of coffee made from beans which were roasted properly (most coffee is over-roasted), recently (should be drunk within about 30 days of roasting) and properly extracted.

I travel quite a bit and was tired of bad coffee. These days I travel with a kettle to heat the water, my hand mill (see below) and my AeroPress (see below). I mostly bring along beans from one of the Third Wave coffee shops I know, or occasionally buy them wherever I am. It only takes a few minutes in the morning to grind and make my coffee and is an enjoyable ritual to start the day.

When drinking at Tim's (or similar) I take some cream in my coffee. When drinking a good cup of coffee I take it black.

http://www.amazon.ca/Hario-MSS-1B-Mini-Coffee-Grinder/dp/B001804CLY

http://www.aeropress.ca/

I think Phaedrus used the phrase 'edited highlights' when describing what he revealed about himself on CERB. That is, of course, what we all do. I believe it is what we do every day in all of our dealings with other people too. I suppose that I might slightly emphasize or play down certain aspects of my personality with one group and then do the same for other aspects with other groups. I am not ever false, but society needs some sort of lubrication to work and I see courtesy and friendliness as that lubricant. It's only when you deal with real a**holes that the whole machine seizes up and breaks down.

I consciously try to remain my unaffected self as much as possible when I deal with everyone, including SPs. It is too much trouble to do otherwise and can lead to too many problems if you don't.

Speaking of lubricant . . . Oh, wrong thread.

Started early. Finishing late. Work all weekend. Blah.

I know, I know, I should count my blessings. What if I had no job? Just let me whine a little more and then I'll stop.

Welcome to another Westerner! Nice to see you here.

To me YMMV means that all services are at the ladies discretion, and therefore dependent on the sorts of things already mentioned: good hygiene, good manners, gentlemanly conduct all result in a good session, while the opposite will adversely affect the level of service.

 

The wild card, of course is chemistry. With the best, most professional SPs, I find that if hygiene and manners are in place you can generally expect a fairly consistent and good / great level of service. Chemistry can push that to great / exceptional.

 

In general, I haven't found looks to be a great factor in determining the service I receive.

Pretty much what he said; nicely summed up.

I'm a pretty average-looking, middle-aged guy and I don't think looks play much of a role in the level of service I receive either.

Any little thing out of place, weather it be a hair . . . it'll drive me nuts.

For physical attributes, well if I'm to be honest, a big cock is always nice:)

Shaved head here so there is NEVER a hair out of place.

As for the other, I couldn't possibly comment . . .

Just registered my new account. As of today I am:

@Geek_Iama

Jack Bruce. I love Cream but he did so much more.

Getting up early or staying up late?

I have a very specific smell that triggers a lot of memories of things past for me.

It is the smell of a madeleine biscuit dipped in linden tea.

True, but "flammable" and "inflammable" DO mean the same thing.

You thought I was going to say something other than 'text', didn't you?

Congrats Cristy! I always keep an eye out for the purply-pink text.

Fiery - something which I believe is actually the opposite of my true nature.

Prostitution Research & Education posts this on their front page:

 

(Prostitution is One Form of Violence Against Women)

 

Starting from such an ideology, I'd wonder about anything they publish.

 

Also, they're associated with Melissa Farley, who gets absolutely skewered in this article:

http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2011/07/24/a-load-of-farley/

Absolutely right Neebleton. This is why their work is used to contrast with the main study outlined in the article which suggests that none of these pre-conceived notions are true.

a few things.

First of all, I am not going to go out on a limb to defend this study because I don't have enough information to do so.

However, I will point out that the portion of the article that most have objected to is the second study mentioned in a single paragraph. This is the "small-scale study" with the less than savoury conclusion and was just presented to contrast with the rather more benign results of the main study mentioned in the rest of the article. If you go back and read the article and just omit that one paragraph you will see that the tone of the article suggests that men who visit prostitutes are "normal". It also suggests that men who frequent boards such as this one skew towards more educated and more affluent.

Just to clarify.

Hi Jabba,

It is definitely a summary of the findings and comparison to other studies - nothing too in-depth here.

However, what I found encouraging was the fact that a distinction between different sorts of "clients" was recognized. That is, we are not either just multi-millionaire sports figures on one hand or desperate criminals on the other. I was also pleased to see some acceptance of the possibility that men who pay for sex are not all psychologically damaged or dangerous in some way. Not all of us, anyway.