dread pirate roberts

To add to that, most of the clients for male providers are likely to be men, not women. There still seems to be some level of embarrassment around that on the part of hobbyists, and that sets up a kind of feedback loop. Those who might have experience with male providers probably don't post about it here, so those who are looking for that sort of information will not be drawn here, which means there's no reason for male providers to post here, and so on.

It's unfortunate, because there is no source of reliable information about male providers, at least as far as I know. There is a site containing listings for MTF transgender providers, but its accompanying forum containing recommendations is virtually unusable.

I just saw this news item: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/massage-parlour-extortion-winnipeg-1.3643413

Every hobbyist's secret fear, and I'm sure a huge frustration for the vast majority of entirely reliable providers.

I think you might find that many SPs are reluctant to publicly state the area of the city in which they live.

I'm speaking as a former, not current, resident of Ottawa, so my view is of limited value. I agree you don't want to locate in any of the communities on the outskirts, even if you are assuming most of your clientele will be mobile. But I think there's a bigger issue for you to think about than geographic location, which is privacy/anonymity.

For myself, I am less comfortable going to an in-call location where I am an obvious stranger in the neighbourhood. I prefer to visit somewhere populous (or otherwise anonymous) enough that I don't feel residents wondering where I am going.

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that opinion. I base that on the number of threads where service providers have expressed frustration over hobbyists holding exactly this view. I understand their opinion that I *shouldn't* worry about such things, but understanding their perspective and not, in fact, worrying about it are quite different.

So if you want to avoid that same frustration, you might take this into account in choosing your new home.

Kind of the point of transitioning is that the person is now female. I can't see any legitimate interest a client has in knowing that was not true at one point.

No, scratch that - I guess *maaaaybe* I could be persuaded that a client could reasonably want to know whether an SPs breasts were implants. I'm not sure I'd suggest *any* SP, cis-female or transitioned, actually has an obligation to reveal that, but I can at least see a reason a client would want to know.

But used to be male? No more relevant that "used to live in BC", "used to be a conservative", "used to drive a convertible", or any other "used to".

I have enjoyed this experience with two local ladies (one an occasional member here) and have discussed it with at least one other. My sense from previous discussions on the Lyla is that a noticeable percentage of guys are interested, but probably not a majority. It probably depends very much on whether you are anticipating some MM contact as an aspect of the encounter - that seems not to be in high demand, though some of us see it as an intriguing addition to what is already an enjoyable experience.

Danielle - whenever I look at your pictures I can *entirely* understand someone pretending to be you!

are you saying you'd inquire about a particular service even if she already stated she didn't provide it on her website? That would be a waste of time.

No, not at all: I said "IF there is legitimate room for uncertainty."

If a Lady had already said she didn't provide the service, it would not merely be a waste of time but rude to ask.

Seriously though, every client is different and if you need me to guarantee a particular service before I've even met you, I'm not the escort for you anyway.

It certainly would be unreasonable for a client to ask a Lady to guarantee before meeting that she WILL provide a particular service. But lots of providers are in a position to (and indeed on their websites do) guarantee that they will NOT provide a particular service. In that event it doesn't seem unreasonable to inquire whether that is the case, IF there is legitimate room for uncertainty. If a client is looking for a particular type of experience and the Lady is definitely not interested, it's a waste of everyone's time not to have that discussion until after setting up an appointment and being together in person.

(The legality of such a question, I agree, is another matter.)

I will be in Toronto soon and am contemplating a massage, either from a spa or an independent provider. I'll be in the Dundas/Yonge vicinity without a car, so I'm looking for an option either near there or easily reached by TTC. Everyone seems to recommend Muse, but that sort of distance will be impractical.

Any suggestions would be welcome. Thanks in advance.

In my communications with a new person I usually say, "Please tell me a bit about yourself and what would be a perfect date for you."

 

This way he can easily state what he is hoping for and then I can either confirm that this either can or cannot happen with me.

 

Does that help?

It certainly does help, yes, and seems like a very sensible practice.

Unfortunately it seems not to be the practice of all Ladies, or else Castle's initial question would not have arisen. So it is still worth seeking advice as to how a caller can raise the issue of whether particular options are or are not available without being off-putting about it.

This issue must be one of form, not substance.

There are literally dozens of posts in which new members ask "can anyone recommend a Lady who does X", to which the standard reply is "find a Lady who attracts you and ask her if she does X". This answer is so uniformly given, without controversy, by Ladies and clients alike, that it *cannot* be inherently wrong to ask a Lady "do you do X?"

The issue, therefore, must be the *way* in which the question is asked. If it is asked in a way which is demeaning or insulting, then that is a problem. But of course to address a Lyla Lady in a way which is demeaning or insulting would be just as objectionable if the question were about location, donation, or for that matter the weather.

This is really only Castle's initial question in starting this thread: given that there are right ways and wrong ways to ask "do you do X", what are the right ways?

Whoa!! Allyson is back? Why wasn't I informed!!

Welcome back, Allyson. :)

I understand someone not wanting to give their real name or a work number, but their Lyla username? I can't see any legitimate reason not to disclose that - reasons, yes, but legitimate ones, no.

I've never seen a discussion part of Back Page (because I have very rarely looked at the site) though I can't say it doesn't exist. But if what you mean is anyone could post an ad saying "has anyone seen X" - i.e. they can post the sort of thing for which the Escorts discussion board in Lyla is specifically designed - then it seems to me that would be a poor substitute.

The greatest value of Lyla is that it gives the opportunity to create reputation. That's especially true for SPs, but not exclusively true for them.

If I were to post "has anyone seen X" on Lyla I might get replies from new members, from people whose username I have never seen before, from users who are noted as "Valued Members", from users whose names I recognise but realise have different tastes from me, or from users with whom I have exchanged pms in the past.

That gives me information based upon which I can decide how much value to place in the opinion. Such a question posted on Back Pages might garner me a slew of responses, none of which I was in a position to evaluate. How much value could I place on the responses?

Should I trust the opinion? Think it was being offered by a sockpuppet who was actually the SP in disguise? Conclude that it was posted by some competitor of the SP out to diminish her? Given Lyla's rules, I can be pretty sure nothing posted here will fall into the latter two categories, but anonymous replies through Back Pages could be anything. Even if they are honest, they could be honest opinions from someone whose opinion I would not value.

On your original question, Amelia, I think its quite understandable that the "Escorts" board is filled with questions about non-Lyla ladies. If I wanted to know about a Lyla lady I would go and read her recommendation thread. Indeed, if someone posts about a Lyla lady on the Escorts board, they are usually advised that it would be better (for both the SP and for clients) if that were posted in the Recommendations section. So there's not a whole lot left for the Escorts board to be about other than non-Lyla ladies.

Years ago (pre-Lyla for me) I phoned an SP and booked an appointment, and towards the end she said something like "I should tell you, I'm black, does that make any difference?" I immediately assured her that it didn't - as, in fact, it didn't.

But when we hung up I was sad for her that she felt she had to ask that, and slightly depressed to live in a world where she was probably right. This thread is full of sincere people doing their best to try to create a world where this is a non-issue, and that's great, but it's a disheartening state of affairs nonetheless.

You can find detailed threads about the new laws, but basically the important part is that it is illegal to pay money to receive "sexual services". That isn't defined, but probably the point of saying the massage is "full body" and "sensuous" is to imply that the services are sexual.

Many people have pointed out that such massage services were also illegal under the old laws but were rarely enforced, and argue that the new laws are equally likely not to be enforced. That might be true, though of course you have already pointed to a recent counter-example in your own city.

I can't imagine how review board bullying would even work. I've been here a while, I have often posted recommendations, and I have occasionally taken part in discussions like this. I've occasionally had people in discussions say things that seemed to me to be rude, but much less so than in other online forums.

Really, I can't see how anyone could influence me to post or not post a recommendation. The Mod might remove an inappropriate post, but as far as I know the hobbyists on this site don't interact other than in the posts on this site (other than the very rare "socials") or by pm. If I were planning to post a recommendation, it seems to me extraordinarily unlikely any other member would know that until after I had posted it.

I'm not meaning to criticize you, Brody, just trying to put your mind at rest that it is unlikely there is such a problem.

My apologies! I'm new to forums and stuff. I'll make a thread there when I can.

No worries! No one is intending to sound critical - just trying to help a new member become acclimated. Welcome aboard.

Welcome to the site.

You might want to post this under the "Nova Scotia Recommendations" heading, where you will find there is already a thread discussing MsManda. Other members will be looking there, rather than here, for recommendations.

I do, yes. A - fair amount? Maybe? Still a single digit number of times, but only just, probably.

Did you have any specific questions? Feel free to ask - I don't mind discussing this publicly, but if you would rather pm, that's fine too.

Summer, in a previous thread on this subject I've suggested exactly what you describe - that there would be a market for an SP to arrange such encounters between clients she already knows but whom do not know one another. I think it's a great idea.

I have some bondage gear and most of this is high quality. Lots of people are very interested in experimenting...

 

This is not a first date event but usually requested when a guest knows and trusts me!

I delightedly confirm every word of this!

I completely get why SPs would be reluctant to have an MMF where the genesis of that was two Ms asking to join her. My guess is that would be unusual, though. Of the MMFs I've had, either the female SP invited a friend (as I assume Red Headed Raven means) or the invitation came from a couple.

Am I mistaken in thinking that two men contacting an SP together is unusual?

I can't imagine saying to one of my male friends "so, I know this really exciting SP from Lyla - want to join me in seeing her?" Maybe my friendships are just too inhibited! Or maybe this observation belongs in the "double life" thread.

I replied earlier in this thread, but it seems to be only ladies replying this time, so let me repeat - yes I have, yes I would again, yes it was amazing! I can see how it could be particularly intense to be the F in the MMF, but if you are an M who doesn't mind some MM in the MMF (to which I say "mmmmmmmm!") then it adds a whole new dimension!