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Nathalie L

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Posts posted by Nathalie L

  1. Posted

    Thanks Alexandra! I appreciate the update and I think the new version, which addresses the systemic causes of gendered violence, makes much more sense.

     

    I also agree that the prison abolitionist movement has not provided an adequate framework for addressing certain types of crimes. There is a lot to be said about community justice and shaming though, as well as Indigenous endeavors (including restorative justice).

  2. Posted

    Slut Walk Ottawa is Sunday April 10th' date=' 1:30-4:30pm. I was asked to speak and have chosen to speak about whorephobia and how it's damaging for all women, not just sex workers. You don't need to exchange money for sex to be a whore. Women are called whores for having sex outside of marriage, having more than one partner, wearing a short skirt, etc. This is damaging to women and female sexuality![/quote']

     

    That's amazing Megan! Kudos to you. Unfortunately I won't be able to attend.

     

    However, what do you think about what they wrote on the FB event page: "2:00 PM - walk to the Provincial Courts on Elgin Street and let our judges, juries, lawyers, everyone know we will want more convictions and harsher punishments for rapists and sexual predators!"

     

    As a prison abolitionist, I recognize the importance of addressing the 'funneling out' of sexual assault cases in the courts (and also by police officers and other agents of the criminal justice system), but I don't know if more convictions and harsher punishments are the way to go....

     

    This is a question for everyone, not just Megan =)

  3. Posted

    I agree with Berlin that not one person can fulfill all of our needs and desires. I don't like to hierarchasize my relationships into primary and secondary either.

     

    Ultimately when I'm with someone I want it to be because I want to be with them and not because monogamy is privileged in society. When I'm in an open and/or poly relationship, I want to share the experiences I've had with other people because I want them to be a part of my life in its entirety. I want them to be a part of my personal growth! Although this is negatively perceived by a lot of people, I wish people saw this as me wanting to share my life (and all its facets).

     

    I do not like to compartmentalize my life into fragments. I want to live my life as a whole with many different people =)

    • Like 2

  5. Posted

    No, Instead Cups are more like diaphragms or cervical caps in terms of shape/size (they aren't contraception). They're actually designed for the purpose of clean sex during menstruation. I wear them most of them time just because they last around 12 hours. You throw them away after one use.

     

    http://www.softcup.com/product/what_is_softcup.php

    http://www.softcup.com/product/frequently_asked_questions.php#a19

     

    This. is. awesome. I'm definitely getting one too. As Berlin mentioned, wearing the Diva Cup, although awesome, doesn't allow for penetrative sex. I would always tell clients whether I was menstruating or not. Personally, I really enjoy having sex when I have my period, but I understand a lot of people have boundaries around that. I'm always respectful and honest about where I'm at in this regard and offer the option to clients to reschedule.

  6. Posted

    Interesting thread, I'd also be curious to hear people's responses. Although I'm not in a committed long-term relationship at the moment, dating is definitely something I'm open about and I tell me partners I'm an SP. Sometimes I wonder whether it's the wisest thing to be telling clients I'm dating and/or have a relationship... I feel it might be negatively perceived? (I'm glad to be reading otherwise!)

     

    If my partner(s) aren't supportive I generally don't date them, so those that stick around know of the work I do, they also know it doesn't define who I am as a person.

    • Like 6

  8. Posted

    Being an SP has effected my personal relationships to a certain extent. When I meet someone I'm interested in romantically, I need to 'out' myself as an SP and hope for the best. I've had years to deconstruct exactly what it means to be an SP and demystify what it is we do, who our clients are, etc. A lot of the people I meet haven't had ANY interaction with SPs at all, which is why it's really important we get information out there (it seems like the solution is always 'educational campaigns - kind of annoying).

     

    I took a break a while back from being an SP and when I told my partner at the time that I wanted to start again, they broke up with me! There's this idea that SPs are somehow vectors of disease, people society can blame for the spread of STIs...(she was extremely afraid I would 'pick something up' from someone, which is interesting, because we were in an open relationship!). If you ever talk to me about safer sex practices I really (REALLY) know my shit. We (SPs) have honed our practice incredibly and out partners need to understand and trust that.

     

    Check out this video, it's really cool!

    • Like 1

  11. Posted

    WOW. I cannot understand why someone would solicit through facebook.... so, so strange to me. Do they have accounts with their escort names, or real names, and how the heck do they find clients that way? So not something I'd be comfortable with!

     

    Yeah... I feel the exact same way =S. There would be way too much overlap between my work life and private life on Facebook. I think the study might be bogus though... I wonder what kind of methodology they used?

  12. Posted

    This might be a little bit irrelevant, but have you seen the movie "Short Bus"? It created a lot of drama for Sook-Yin Lee in Canada because she was working for CBC (still is). A movie with real sex, real actors, and awesome story line... my kind of thing!

     

    So I'm not surprised this caused such a fuss.

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