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We all know this name, don't we? I'm delighted to share an interview with @KylieJane on how she keeps her customers cumming, sorry, I mean COMING 😉 back for more. Please share your thoughts in the comments! Q: Hey Kylie! Thanks so much for doing this interview with me. You’ve been on Lyla for a while from what I can see! Can you give us some background on your journey as a Companion? A: It has been awhile, approximately 6 yrs. I've always been very sexually open-minded and had an ability to relate to anyone. I would say becoming a companion was a pretty natural fit for my personality. Q: Do you remember your first Client? What was it like? A: I certainly do! I remember I actually had an ad on a non-sex worker site, I was just starting my journey and didn't know where to place an ad. He was an older gentleman and was the only one who got a chance to send me a message before I was shut down. I was nervous, but fortunately he was not. He had seen providers before and was very understanding and patient with me. We continued to see each other many times until his health deteriorated to the point he wasn't able to. I have many fond memories of him and our time together. Q: Would you say the majority of your Clients are nervous when you first meet? I know I would be! A: I would say meeting a companion for the first time is a unique adventure and can understand someone being nervous. But when I see someone for the first time I make sure they are set at ease, It makes spending time with someone more enjoyable for both of us. And i believe I have a reputation for being easy going and making people comfortable. Q: Do their nerves settle when they’ve seen you more than once? A: Yes, I like to think so, as I make sure they are set at ease firstly, then I like to think my repeat clients enjoy our comfortable time and have many who say so, I believe my regulars enjoy my personality as much as other attributes. Q: I guess nerves can really get in the way of things sometimes, do you ever experience cancellations or sessions cut short because of nerves? A: I have and completely understand when someone tells me so. Thankfully when this has happened I've gotten plenty of notice, this is all I ask. Even then sometimes after a bit more chatting/texting they relax and keep their date. But if nerves do get the best of someone I do get it. And some will still send a donation regardless even if they aren't ready to see me, which is always appreciated. Q: I imagine in the time you’ve been a Companion you’ve learnt some valuable skills, including settling nerves. So, set the scene, it’s a Client’s first time seeing you and they’re messaging to say they’re super nervous - what do you do? A: I assure them I understand and explain sometimes I get nervous also, it can be stressful meeting someone new in any situation. I explain my where my hosting location is and what to expect when they walk through the door. I also explain that once they are with me there is no pressure or expectations. We will do what we are comfortable with and I will make sure you will enjoy our time together. I will also say that in no way will I do aggressive messaging, no pressure and always friendly. Q: And what about in person, if they’ve arrived and they’re still nervous, what course of action do you take? A: Always when someone arrives, I show them in and greet them with a smile, hug and a cheek kiss (I never assume they are ok with a mouth kiss) I find this type of greeting goes a long way in settling nerves. As they come in, I like to sit them down, offer a beverage to their liking and ask them about their day. Q: Do you have any aids at your incall/outcall to help settle Clients’ nerves? A: Does my sparkling personality count as an aid? Lol kidding. Sometimes music, mood lighting and a glass of wine, including non-alcoholic, are always great ways to relax. Q: So what about you? Do you ever get nervous before a session? A: Absolutely, meeting new people can be stressful no matter the situation. Q: What has helped you personally with feeling confident before a session? A: I like to pick out some of my favourite outfits that make me feel sexy. Then I'll look in the mirror, take a deep breath and say "I look great and I feel sexy". This gets me in a confident mood, and I believe feeling good about myself is a good thing for the person I'm seeing. I really enjoy what I do, and anyone I see will know this. Also a glass of wine can help, hehe. Q: Thanks so much for your time! Anything else you’d like to add? A: Thank you, I appreciate you asking to contribute to this wonderful forum. I will add, getting to know your client/companion helps set them at ease. Find out likes/dislikes, boundaries and expectations. I believe these things are necessary for the best possible interaction, xo.

Happy weekend gorgeous people! I am excited to publish this interview with @Shalom. We all love sex (we wouldn't be here if we didn't, right? 😛) but what actually *is* sex? How do we define it? I am sure you will find Shalom's answers thought provoking. Please do let us know your thoughts in the comments! Q: Hey Shalom. Thanks for agreeing to share your thoughts on this interesting topic! A: You’re welcome! I’m excited to get into these questions! This particular seems pretty perfect for me! Q: Thanks! So what got you into this industry and how long have you been a part of it? A: I’ve been doing some form of sex work for about 12 years. I started on cam sites out of necessity mostly. After working in retail stores and cafes since I was 16 I needed something that allowed me the freedom from all the hellish realities of the service industry and minimum wage work. I learned pretty quickly that camming was not for me. All respect to those performers who do it! But I am best in smaller spurts of individualised connection. I moved on to BDSM and Domination which I love and still do, but found it wasn’t consistent enough. So I tried offering full service sessions about 7 years ago. Best decision of my life! It’s the best fit for me, let’s me flex my Domme muscles on occasion, and I love being able to meet new people and connect on so many intimate and vulnerable levels. Q: You have had a varied sex work journey so far! So let’s talk about sex, baby! Initial thoughts - what is sex to you? A: Hmmmm, where do I even begin? First, I’d say sex is visceral connection. And many opposing human experiences. Vulnerability and strength, spirituality and depravity, something inherently human and animalistic. It’s also deep and meaningful, or fun and frivolous. Or just, a way to combat the boredom of an endless lockdown?! Q: Nice! Do you count solo masturbation as sex? A: Absolutely! The idea that sex only exists when there is 1 or more other people involved has always been confusing to me. Masturbation can be all the things I mentioned above, only the connection is with yourself, your spirit, your body. It’s also an act of self care and love which I think is something we don’t really talk about enough. A good wank-sesh releases the same neuro-chemicals as partnered sex and we need those chemicals to be healthy, happy humans. Q: A lot of people only count sex as penetration, but what about LGBTQ sex? For example, how do you define sex with a woman? A: I think that sex without penetration or a penis can often tend to be more cerebral and tactile. The focus is not on putting the ‘P’ in the ‘V’ but on experiencing pleasure (or pain!) in a way that is completely individual to those involved. And when you aren’t solely focused on mashing body parts together you get to focus on fucking each others mind, body and maybe even soul. Hot! But just like all forms of sex, queer sex can also just be a physical expression of 2 (or more) people’s horniness and that is still a great thing! Q: Being in the queer community has made me realise how heteronormative everything is. For example discussing different “bases” from school. How do you think we can (as a society) become more inclusive in our terminology and sex education? A: I think the easiest way to be more inclusive is to simply be mindful and remember that not all ‘women’ have vulvas and not all ‘men’ have penises. I try really hard to be non-gender specific with my words. It’s an adjustment, but it’s really not hard to say things like ‘people with breasts’ or ‘people with penises’ or some variation. Or simply, genitals. Everyone has genitals, gender doesn’t determine whether those genitals are an ‘innie’ or an ‘outie’. Another way to be more inclusive is to stop perpetuating the idea that sex is only what we call ‘PIV’ (penis is vagina), because, firstly, that’s a dull definition of sex (PIV is not dull, but the idea that it’s all that sex is, is dull! Get creative people!). And secondly, there are so many amazing experiences left out of that concept. Q: I’ve heard people say that lesbians are technically still virgins. What are your thoughts on “virginity”? Do you think we are classing it correctly? A: Nope! Not even a little bit, I don’t think we classify it correctly at all! I mean, what about lesbians who use strap-ons? Or digital penetration? Is a silicone penis that looks and feels as life like as modern technology can produce not still a kind of penis? Do fingers not hit those spots? The idea of virginity is so tied up in outdated ideas of gender and shame and sex negativity and I think holding on to those ideas is harmful to people of all genders and all ages. Q: I prefer the term “sexual debut”! Do you think there’s anything problematic in how we talk about virginity. E.g. We say that you “lose” it, and there’s a lot of pressure (mainly for women) to preserve it. A: Whoooooo, I’m going to try not be concise and not rant too much on this one! First, the term ‘virgin’ literally means an unmarried and/or young woman. Somewhere in human history we assigned the word to this idea that the act of sex, specifically for the first time, is a tangible thing that a man is supposed to take from a woman. And that if a woman has given that mysterious item to someone else, she has lost all value and respectability. And whoa! What bullshit! Virginity is a concept that was invented in a time when women’s only value was in her ability to provide offspring and in many cases, provide status or wealth to her family (mainly father) by marrying a man of higher status. Sorry. I had to go there!! So, there’s really no reason to hold on such an outdated concept. Then there’s this whole idea of the hymen? Which actually, in most people with vaginas, is tissue that forms in the embryonic stage but during development opens itself. Some women do have more of this tissue than others, but it is not this weird freshness seal over the vagina that is meant to be torn open? I mean ew? Anyway, the concept is based on very outdated understanding of the bodies of people with vaginas and the vast majority of innies do not even bleed the first time they have penetrative intercourse. Ok, that wasn’t too painful. But yeah, let’s get rid of the whole thing! Q: LOVE that answer - you are so right! Back to PIV sex… do you think that we often define sex as penetration in order to keep our “body count” lower? A: I think that can be true for some people for sure. I also think that the urge to keep ‘body counts’ lower in any way, is part of how our culture is still so sex negative. So classifying sex as only being an act of penetration is a way to avoid all the various different ways we still shame ourselves not only for being sexualised people sometimes, but really doing anything that is pleasurable. Like don’t eat too much of that chocolate cake, don’t watch too much Netflix, you should feel bad that instead of cleaning your bathroom you watched some porn and rubbed one out!! Lol, no, do what makes you happy as long as no one else gets hurt. Q: It’s funny how as a society we tend to class penetration as sex yet there are other sexual things you can do which are incredibly, and arguably more, intimate. Such as oral. What are your thoughts on that? A: I think there are sexual acts that can be infinitely more intimate than penetration for sure. It all depends on so many factors. And there are things that aren’t sexual that can be extremely intimate as well. The client who opens up to me about his struggles with his own sexuality while we cuddle fully clothed is trusting me with something far more vulnerable and intimate than the client who has a menu and a to-do list and is checking items off with whoever is available when he has time. There’s a time and place for all these experiences and they’re all valid (mostly…) but when we limit intimacy to PIV or sex to PIV we miss out on a whole universe of amazing possibilities and experiences. Q: Thank you for your time. Anything else to add before we wrap up (excuse the pun)? A: Thanks for including me in this series!! I think the thing I want to add is, a quote from a great song that has been playing in my mind as I write this. ‘Free your mind and the rest will follow’.

Oooh guys I am excited for this one! 😄 I'm sure many of you will know the name @AdrianaMaxwell_TO as she's been a member of Lyla for some time now and it's hard not to notice her pics in the schedules she posts 😍 This time it's on the topic of different Clients you come across in this industry and the different terminologies used. Enjoy and please remember to like and comment! ❤️ Q: Hey Adriana. It’s great to get the chance to get to know you better. First up, can you tell me a bit about yourself? A: Hi Lyla! Thank you so much for reaching out and giving me this opportunity to chat with you and your audience. A bit about me, well where to begin? I’m a Toronto based part-time Escort/Companion/Sex worker/whore. I officially moved back to Toronto a few years ago after moving and living overseas for three years. The answer is yes, I followed a boy there! One thing to know about me is that I’m a true romantic at heart and do not regret this life-changing decision one bit. Currently you can find me snuggling my pup while binge watching the newest show that’s been suggested to me. Alternatively, you can find me in the kitchen with a glass of wine in hand, either cooking up something savoury or baking something deliciously sweet- currently really into apple crumble! I’m a lover of crime podcasts (A morbid podcast is my #1 fave), anything to do with design / décor and Orange wine of course! Q: How long have you been a Companion? A: I first dabbled in sex work approximately 4 ½ years ago via sugaring while I was living aboard. I eventually returned home to Toronto and thought I would dabble in sugaring again, however found the pool of men on the app/site to be drastically different to what I had experienced while overseas, so I stopped my search immediately. I would also like to note during the time I was sugaring I did not associate it as sex-work. I steered clear of the term sex worker due to the negative connotations society has put on our industry. It took time and a lot of internal work to get over my own whorephobia and to be able to confidently dive into full service sex work. Therefore, in my mind I have only officially have been a companion/ sex-worker for little over a year after initially joining an agency in 2019. It was always an aspiration of mine to progress into Indy (independent) work and the pandemic certainly fast-tracked this transition and birth of Adriana. Q: There’s a lot of terminology in this industry, so let’s break a few down! Let’s start with “hobbyist”. What does that mean to you and do you like the term? A: I have seen some clients try to use this term for themselves as a positive attribute … personally I find it repulsive. By definition a hobbyist is “someone who enjoys doing something as a hobby”. Key word in that definition being “something”. Now, the last time I checked I was a human being and not a trinket, object, activity or something of interest to continuously pursue for pleasure. My business model and personal preference is to foster and have lasting connections with my clients, emotionally and physically. I don’t like the thought of being someone’s next conquest to cross off of their “To-Do list”. I by no means discourage clients to see other providers, you have to find the right fit and connection that works for you! Plus, a little variety never hurt anyone. The use of this term by a potential client signals to me that they might not necessarily be looking for a continued connection, which is also ok, however this is might not my ideal client. Q: We had a thread recently on this and the general consensus was that people prefer to use “Client”. I’ve also seen the term “slobbyist”. What does that mean to you? A: To me the term “slobbyist” is the next level down from a “hobbyist”. Immediately I think of the typical reply guys you see on either twitter or on other standard review boards who troll sex-workers, rank them and describe them in a highly misogynistic way. A slobbyist in my mind and experience is a man who completely discounts our basic human rights, emotions and existence. They see sex-workers primarily as objects specifically and only meant for their personal use and pleasure. Q: So what makes a good Client in your eyes? And how are they different to a “slobbyist” or bad Client? A: There are specific actions you can immediate see in a good client, starting with the initial booking email. I personally don’t mind if someone reaches out via direct email vs. filling out my booking form as long as ALL information is giving within the first email. Five simple things; Preferred Date and time, duration of date, a brief intro about yourself and most importantly: mandatory screening is attached. Alternatively, if you were to fill in my booking form and send through screening immediately following or within one additional email correspondence, this shows that you are cognisant and respectful of my time. This is a huge green flag and proves that the sender is serious about booking, respectful and genuine – these attributes make a client stand out over a “slobbyist”. Short initial emails like “hey are you available now” or “when can I meet you” lend me to believe it’s a time waster or a “slobbyist”. Additionally, a good client is respectful and communicative during the date. Nothing beats good conversation coupled with genuine interest in the wants and needs of the companion. Although never expected, bringing a small gift, be it a book you enjoyed or wine you absolutely love, or something off of his/her wish list is always a great first meeting gesture. Lastly, I cannot stress this enough – tip the damn girl! Q: Are there any behaviours that are huge red flags to you? A: The first red flag off the bat is if someone reaches out with a very generic email as previously mentioned: “hey, you available now?” or “When can we meet?”. This immediately indicates that they haven’t spent the time to read through my ad or twitter bio leading to my website, which clearly states that I require screening and additional information prior to any booking. The second red flag, is when they refuse to abide by my screening policy. I understand that not all sex workers are able to adopt screening processes, however I do require them. Therefore if you choose not to abide by the rules which I have in place for my peace of mind and safety, then we will not be meeting in person. End of story. If you persist and state that you are a very discreet individual and do not wish to share your information for privacy reasons, guess what? My personal safety will always come first – I have no issues with signing an NDA in the even you are truly concerned about your privacy. Q: How do you deal with these red flags? Is it a case of straight up stopping communication or are there certain red flags that you put down to naivety? A: In the event that a client simply refuses to send through screening or tries to make up an excuse as to why he/she should be exempt from it, my assistant knows to cease all correspondence immediately. Simply put, I don’t like wasting time. However, sometimes there is some naivety involved or some technology issues especially when a client sends through a selfie or image of their government issued ID. If the client is able to re-send updated/clearer image(s) within a few emails this is acceptable. Q: What about good signs? For example, how someone contacts you/how they behave on social media? A: I cannot stress enough that it does not take a long-winded email or introduction to make a good first impression. A few simple sentences about who you are is perfect! Once my assistant approves your screening, she sends through your email, preferred date/time and your brief introduction to me to reach out to solidify our date. I prioritize client emails that have a brief introduction about themselves over ones that don’t provide anything at all. I am very active on social media; therefore, a potential client already knows who I am to an extent. Sending a few sentences about your beloved dog, or your favourite country you’ve travelled to breaks down the barrier between stranger and friend. It’s very similar to any current dating app out there – no one would match with someone online without knowing a bit about the other person they book at date. Q: I hope I don’t offend anyone with this question but I can’t help but bring it up because I see it so often… So many Clients have “just your average guy” in their bios, have you noticed that?! Why do you think they write it? And what do you think they mean by it? A: Haha – I don’t mean to chuckle, again I’m not wanting to offend anyone, but yes, I have seen this statement in a few bios online as well. Generally speaking, I think the clients that write this statement in their bio want to appear or see themselves as “safe” and approachable clients. However, what does “just your average guy” truly mean? It’s such an open-ended and vague statement that I certainly would not feel any safer knowing that a potential client is “just your average guy”. Q: You can tell a lot about someone from their social media I think. Do you tend to check out Clients on social if they have it? A: I absolutely agree! I specifically have a section in my booking form for clients to provide their twitter/ review board handle for this reason. You can tell a lot about someone based on their online interactions with not only other providers but other clients and users. If the user is slanderous, misogynistic or even a time-waster it is easy to spot via their comments or tweets. Myself and my assistant check these handles when they are given. Q: You’re pretty active on Twitter - how many Clients do you get through social media? A: Yes, I love being active on Twitter and interacting with other providers! However, I hate to say it, but I don’t actually track my analytics or bookings from Twitter as much as I should! I’m blushing while writing this because looking at these specific numbers from my booking forms has been on my to-do-list for a while now. Thank you for reminding me to get on it! With that being said, I have had a few clients mention to me upon meeting in person that they actually stumbled across me via Twitter. Pretty much 9 times out of 10 the clients that have found me via Twitter have been my preferred type of client. I believe that good clients have found be via this platform because I am fairly candid and am active. Therefore, it is easy for a client to see if we might have common interests or if they are attracted to my personality. In my opinion, my clients from Twitter have been the most genuine and caring. Q: In an ideal world, how would you expect to be approached by a potential Client? A: Very simple; read my booking requirements / FAQ on my website and reach out accordingly in a respectful manor. If you do choose to reach out via DM on twitter, send through a small gift-card or e-transfer for my time. My DMs are not open for clients to ask about availability or for general conversation. My time is valuable and I don’t have the time to respond to every request or message – by sending through even a small gesture really stands out and signals that you are considerate of my time and my business. Treat me with respect and that’s what you will get in return. Q: I believe that platforms such as Lyla have a duty to keep “slobbyists” in check, as well as educate potential Clients on etiquette. Is there anything you can think of that we can do to achieve this? A: I think that being able to have these open conversations is a good place to start! Q: What would you say to Providers who are disheartened by negative behaviour from Clients? A: YOU are in control, if you are not feeling comfortable or sense any negativity in an email or DM, simply delete the email or message and block the contact. It’s not worth your mental health or emotional energy to respond to the trolls out there – unless you get kicks out of doing so (subtle shout out to Stefania for being a true bad-ass who isn’t afraid to beat down on the slobbyists out there!) If you’re experiencing negative behaviour in person with a client, re-state your boundaries to the client and see how they respond. If they change their actions, great! If not, resist re booking them in future, as they will most likely not change their actions. This suggestion may not work if you sense your client might become aggressive or is hostile, in this situation it is best to de-escalate the situation or remove yourself completely from the situation. Your safety and mental health is top priority, plan for various scenarios to ensure you keep your safety in mind at all times. Lastly, there is a wonderful community of humans here to support you if you are feeling down or unsure of yourself. Reach out – we are here for you! Q: Thanks so much for your time, Adriana. It’s so appreciated. Is there anything else you would like to add? A: I just want to thank you again for this opportunity! I also want to shout out to my fantastic clients and friends within this industry – it’s been an incredibly tough year for a lot of people. I am so blessed to have my regular clients in my life and my friends that keep a smile on my face. Sending my love to everyone. Last but not least – gentleman, please remember this: TIP HER! xx Addy