Paying the bills...

[Guest discr33t]

I asked a lady if I had been contacting her too often for very short notice appointments, as I was seeing her multiple times a week.

 

She had responded, no problem, you're paying my bills!

 

Granted she was pretty new to the business, but this made me think.

 

Is she counting on me, and has she been setting aside other opportunities to accommodate me?

 

Is there a certain point where some sort of consideration, severance should be in order if you stop seeing that lady? Aside from gifts or tokens of appreciation.

 

Scenarios, on average:

1. Seeing a lady 1-3 times a week over a year.

2. Seeing a new to the business lady 30 times in the first 3 months

3. Seeing a lady once a month over 5 years

 

**Businesses sometimes use 1 week per year of service

[Guest S****r]

Some clients pay a monthly retainer for this reason. Paid up front so lady knows she can count on the income. If it isn't paid at the beginning of the month, she knows she can't count on that income.

 

Glad to see you get it and are concerned.

 

Congratulations!

:-)

[Carrie Moon 68826]

While it's nice that you are concerned.. you have absolutely zero obligation to offer any kind of severance.. neither would you with your hairdresser, massage therapist, dentist, physician.. etc..

You are a very kind person to even think this way though :) That says a lot about you! cheers!

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

You are extremely generous to that lady, and I think it might just a weird way to say thank you...

 

Now, if something goes akward during a session, will she continue to count on you?

 

I am taking retainer (when I can) from regular clients, but in no way will I ever count on a client to pay my bills, unless it's a SD.

[hank1364 576]

You have no obligation to her really. You can look at it as customer business relationship. You can move on. But if you have true feelings for her, it may be difficult, she may not feel the same way. She could just see you as a way to make ends meet at the end of rhe month.

[Ice4fun 78396]

Unless there was more going on here then a strict Business relationship then I would have to agree with Carrie on this one I don't think there is any financial obligation to your service provider.... You are not paying her bills you are purchasing time and companionship from her so unless you have made other more specific contractual arrangement with her that's where it ends.

 

Now having said that I would add that while I don't think there is an ongoing financial obligation I do think that if you have developed a regular and frequent schedule of bookings ie every Tuesday at 3 and you or her are thinking of ending or changing that arrangement then it should be brought up with the other party ASAP so that either party can plan accordingly. This is not really an obligation more just common courtesy.

 

Just my Opinion

[VedaSloan 119179]

This is one of those businesses where you have to learn to NEVER count on or rely on income until you have it in your hand. Guys cancel, things come up, etc etc. There are dry periods and tsunamis--you either learn to budget and manage your money or you will end up broke and seeing clients you'd otherwise ignore because you need money. This is why if you cancel last minute, you should pay a cancellation fee even if she doesn't ask for one--she can't fill that spot last minute.

 

Just continue being a good client and move on when you want. You are under no obligation. As others have stated, you could also consider a retainer if you plan to continue seeing her and are still concerned about her wellbeing.

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

While others have said it's a nice gesture to think this way, I agree that you are under no obligation. I've been in this situation with many clients on a weekly basis yet I would never respond to them that they are "paying my bills". They are coming to visit me for companionship.

 

Unless I came into some sort of agreement with them, I have always learned to never count on anything or anyone no matter what is said.

 

Case in point, I recently met someone who seemed very nice until the other day after they booked 2 weeks in advance and then 20 minutes before they were supposed to meet me, they cancelled on me telling me that their friend had an extra ticket to the hockey game and was going with him instead of coming to see me.

 

I received an insincere apology and also had the audacity in asking me to make an exception on my day off so they could see me. I don't think so. Not only that but sent me a picture from the game. I didn't reply back. I found that to be very inconsiderate ( and a few other choice words I could think of based on their behavior) and have decided not to meet them again based on their actions. The point being.... to never count on anyone no matter what they say.

 

If you enjoy your time with this lady, keep seeing her but don't do so if you are just feeling obligated because you believe she is counting on you to pay her bills. As I've seen many clients on a weekly basis, I know that nothing is forever and situations in people's lives change where they are not be able to meet their favorite SP anymore or maybe not as often as they'd like. Enjoy the moment but also know that this is still her business and you are paying for companionship. Or as others have mentioned, suggest paying her a certain amount upfront every month.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Severance?! I thought I was generous with my money! The ladies absolutely do not expect severance pay and it would be an awful precedence to start. Just buy her a car if you're feeling generous. I've heard of that being done before(albeit rarely) but not severance. Severance sounds too much like an obligation.

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

I asked a lady if I had been contacting her too often for very short notice appointments, as I was seeing her multiple times a week.

 

She had responded, no problem, you're paying my bills!

 

Granted she was pretty new to the business, but this made me think.

 

Is she counting on me, and has she been setting aside other opportunities to accommodate me?

 

Is there a certain point where some sort of consideration, severance should be in order if you stop seeing that lady? Aside from gifts or tokens of appreciation.

 

Scenarios, on average:

1. Seeing a lady 1-3 times a week over a year.

2. Seeing a new to the business lady 30 times in the first 3 months

3. Seeing a lady once a month over 5 years

 

**Businesses sometimes use 1 week per year of service

 

I wonder if it was just an 'off-the-cuff' remark, basically saying 'don't worry about it. I do not view your many contacts and short notice for appts as a problem... because you are allowing me to have an income .. and it is much appreciated' without actually using this long-winded explanation as most girls will take the short way out instead of wasting your time trying to explain her feelings, and perhaps messing it up because she has trouble expressing herself in a proper way. Or, like me, she is lazy or gets frustrated trying to put all that into words.

 

Sometimes the simplest answer is the right one. Trying to look beyond that and find some other meaning is only going to make a good thing more complicated. And perhaps create a mess. And messes (like spilled milk) are difficult to clean up. After you use a cloth to clean up the milk the rinsing required to get the milk out of the cloth is endless, and if not done thoroughly, can leave a sour smell behind.

[Guest discr33t]

Thanks all, no obligation, c'est tout

 

I wonder if it was just an 'off-the-cuff' remark, basically saying 'don't worry about it. I do not view your many contacts and short notice for appts as a problem... because you are allowing me to have an income .. and it is much appreciated' without actually using this long-winded explanation as most girls will take the short way out instead of wasting your time trying to explain her feelings, and perhaps messing it up because she has trouble expressing herself in a proper way. Or, like me, she is lazy or gets frustrated trying to put all that into words.

 

Sometimes the simplest answer is the right one. Trying to look beyond that and find some other meaning is only going to make a good thing more complicated. And perhaps create a mess. And messes (like spilled milk) are difficult to clean up. After you use a cloth to clean up the milk the rinsing required to get the milk out of the cloth is endless, and if not done thoroughly, can leave a sour smell behind.

Well put and I am guilty as charged for leaving a mess of complication all over the place! That's why I took up 'new friends' to get benefits and less complications. If more lyla providers were available more often here, it would be much easier for me!

 

 

Severance?! I thought I was generous with my money! The ladies absolutely do not expect severance pay and it would be an awful precedence to start. Just buy her a car if you're feeling generous. I've heard of that being done before(albeit rarely) but not severance. Severance sounds too much like an obligation.

I met a lady, who had a small clientele I believed, who bought a new house after meeting with me regularly. I guess I was worried she might be counting on the visits, but perhaps that's coincidence.

BTW i did the car thing several years ago. Didn't work out. Maintenance, insurance, who ended up using it - I wouldn't recommend doing that again. I'd take severance for ease of action over a car, from my point of view.

And yes when I asked this question severance was meant to dispose of the obligation.