How Do You Personally Justify Seeing Escorts In a Marriage?

[0000 1845]

I'm going to keep this thread a little less confrontational than my last one, I'll refrain from being argumentative.

 

On the topic, I am not a married man. I am 23 years old and marriage has almost become a taboo for the modern culture.

 

There are so many other interesting things to do these days that I couldn't personally imagine tying myself down to one woman for the rest of my days.

I can see how it was a very tempting proposition in the past, particularly back when it was a pretty good deal for men.

 

 

The main topic here though is how do you married guys justify seeing escorts to yourselves? Marriage is of course a part of the christian faith, and has a certain set of rules to follow if you wish to adhere to that faith.

 

So it seems like seeing escorts could technically be infidelity?

Of course I can understand if some married guys view tying the knot as a naive mistake from their past, it could become very complicated to correct this mistake if you are 20-30 years into a loving, committed relationship and/or raising kids.

 

Happy to hear your thoughts, and I promise I will keep an open mind this time ;)

[BossMan44 606]

Some of us have spouses that are okay with what we're doing (for me, massage-wise anyway, provided certain limits aren't crossed), provided we let them know in advance. It's probably hard for you to understand this kind of thing at 23, unless you're on the kinkier side, but in some ways it's helpful to the overall relationship. And sometimes we do couples' massage together.

 

I will say this though, if you're not honest with what you're doing, the likelihood that something will go wrong and she'll find out is almost a certitude in the long run. It can get addictive and there are too many things to cover up, bank withdrawls, massage oil residue/smells, missed phone calls, unexplained absences, and the risk of certain STIs even if you're playing safe or intend to play safe.

[0000 1845]

Well I am very much on the kinkier side, and here's what I understand:

 

People fall in love, and want to spend the rest of their lives with each other.

The traditional thing to do is to get married, so due to societal pressure, or symbolism, or whatever other reasons, people jump into a marriage, often without a full understanding of what marriage is.

 

I think open and honest relationships are just fine, nothing wrong with polyamory. I just find it intriguing that so few decide to shake things up, choosing to spend their time with someone without the symbolism/need for traditional marriage.

 

I also understand that people fall out of love, we never know how we will feel about someone down the line. The fact that so few fully understand the terms of christian marriage, both spiritually and legally, but are still willing to jump in and bind themselves to the legalities of marriage, seems to be a testament to the strength of societal pressure.

I guess that's another topic though.

 

Based on word of mouth among escorts, it would seem there are a lot of married people doing as you describe, keeping their time spent with escorts compartmentalized, rather than communicating the topic with their spouse.

One escort in particular, has even suggested that seeing an escort is not the same thing as infidelity, though she didn't explain her reasoning, so it could perhaps be a ploy to draw in a certain demographic of customers ;)

 

I'm a quick study, but I can't understand if I don't have much to go on. Curious to hear everyone's thoughts, whether you share your hobby with your spouse or not.

[FunElement12 974]

In my case it's a bit different than others on this board. I'm a woman seeing a female escort. I discovered in my 40s that I wanted to experience being with a woman. I have no desire to be in love with a woman but I wanted to experience sex with a woman. I've been with my husband for almost 30 years and I'm still very much in love with him but obviously he wasn't able to satisfy the curiosity I had to be with a woman!

 

I tell him every time I go visit her. He is very happy that I'm fulfilling this need I have in a way that is not threatening to our relationship. He also very much enjoys when I tell him all the details after!

 

Obviously every relationship is unique but what I do know is that every relationship is work. Work and family pressure, kids, aging parents. It all adds up. I'm pretty sure that many relationships have been saved by a man visiting an escort. Spouses can certainly remain in love and care very much for each other but have different views on the frequency or type of sex they want to have. In my view seeing an escort is better for the relationship than having an affair where emotions can develop, jealousy can cause problems. I'm not sure that the majority of women see it my way. At least not the women of my generation and older. Just my 2 cents!

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Ah I remember being a 23 year old university student who knew everything! Very sure in my knowledge and beliefs. Then actual real life taught me way more! Be strong and let experience be your actual guide!

[Mikeyboy 27113]

Love and sex are two very different things. It's easy to judge from the perspective of a single 23 year old, (trust me I was there), but until you walk a mile (or 20 plus years) in someone elses shoes, be careful with the finger pointing ;) .

 

Needs change and so do people. We do what we have to, to get by and live a balanced life, while maintaining balance around us.

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

I'm single so I can't help to justify seeing an SP in marriage, I have no regrets being single and spending my time with an SP or MA. I certainly do love those times!

 

But I do have to ask the OP why he specifically references Christian marriages; do non-Christian marriages not matter when justifying an encounter with an SP or MA?

[0000 1845]

:icon_razz: I've fallen into that age old trap, posting my age when trying to start a discussion.

 

Yes, I understand that life experience does exist, but I would appreciate if we can not assume that I don't know certain things and dismiss my thoughts out of hand.

I'm sure there is much that I don't know, and I'm always interested in learning more, that's why I started this discussion after all.

I do understand that love and sex are 2 different things, I've sidestepped university in favor of IT technical certifications, and I understand that people change.

 

I'm just trying to dig a little deeper here.

While I understand that people change and needs change, do others my age not understand this? Is this why there are so many failed marriages, affairs, escort visits etc? Why agree to a clearly defined set of rules if you have an understanding that you may not be the same person many years down the line?

 

Or perhaps there is justification for infidelity in marriage, perhaps seeing escorts isn't infidelity at all?

Please understand that I start a discussion of this sort to learn more. Respectfully, pointing out my age and suggesting that I just need to walk another 20 or so years to learn life's lessons the good ol' hard way isn't really helping me to be less young and naive :)

 

There are some young people who have amassed an incredible amount of knowledge in life, and some older people who can barely tie their own shoes. Age is a factor in life experience, but some people are perfectly capable of learning life's lessons at a faster pace. We also can't ignore the progress of technology and the internet. There is an unprecedented amount of information available to younger generations that wasn't available not to long ago. It may not be a substitute for life experience, but I like to believe it is supplemental. I remember a time not to long ago in my childhood wherein if I had a question, the only source of knowledge I had was mom or dad :)

 

Additional Comments:

I'm single so I can't help to justify seeing an SP in marriage, I have no regrets being single and spending my time with an SP or MA. I certainly do love those times!

 

But I do have to ask the OP why he specifically references Christian marriages; do non-Christian marriages not matter when justifying an encounter with an SP or MA?

 

Fair enough. I take an interest in Christian marriages specifically because the Christian faith isn't very accepting of polyamory. This doesn't mean that I look down on the practice personally. It wouldn't make much sense to ask how people justify seeing escorts in a marriage if their particular faith has no qualms about the practice.

 

I'm sure there are other faiths that also take issue with polyamory, but I am unfortunately only familiar with my own personal religious indoctrination ;)

 

Additional Comments:

In my case it's a bit different than others on this board. I'm a woman seeing a female escort. I discovered in my 40s that I wanted to experience being with a woman. I have no desire to be in love with a woman but I wanted to experience sex with a woman. I've been with my husband for almost 30 years and I'm still very much in love with him but obviously he wasn't able to satisfy the curiosity I had to be with a woman!

 

I tell him every time I go visit her. He is very happy that I'm fulfilling this need I have in a way that is not threatening to our relationship. He also very much enjoys when I tell him all the details after!

 

Obviously every relationship is unique but what I do know is that every relationship is work. Work and family pressure, kids, aging parents. It all adds up. I'm pretty sure that many relationships have been saved by a man visiting an escort. Spouses can certainly remain in love and care very much for each other but have different views on the frequency or type of sex they want to have. In my view seeing an escort is better for the relationship than having an affair where emotions can develop, jealousy can cause problems. I'm not sure that the majority of women see it my way. At least not the women of my generation and older. Just my 2 cents!

 

That certainly is a unique situation. Is it mutual, does he also have desires fulfilled in this way? I know some couples find there is an imbalance in this sort of a setup, I don't want to pry, but if your okay with talking more about it I'd be interested in learning more about how you've managed to maintain a balance.

 

On the topic of relationships saved by men visiting escorts, I think this might depend on the situation and whether the lines of communication are open. If a man sees an escort and his wife is in the know, then I certainly don't see an issue with it, although I would still wonder how they overcame the demands of their marriage vows, if polyamory wasn't a part of the deal.

 

Of course it is an entirely different story when the lines of communication are not open, when it is kept a secret, does this save the relationship, or perhaps it changes the nature of their relationship? Forfeiture of honesty and trust, might be a hefty price to pay for sexual release?

 

I do agree that escorts can be a much less demanding, more casual relationship, though there is always the possibility of emotions and jealousy developing. Humans are fallible of course, sometimes it goes beyond the business transaction, and it is a murky line between friendship and romantic love.

[FunElement12 974]

Although at first I was the only one visiting her we do now see her (and her male partner) on a fairly regular basis. It was not part of the original plan but we both enjoy it very much. I quite enjoy seeing my husband with her and because I know the boundaries that come with seeing an escort, I'm not at all worried that this will go further. She is not a threat to my relationship with my husband because it is purely physical and not emotional. I love when he tells me how good it felt or how sexy he finds her. Keeping a sex life active and fresh after many years is one of the toughest things to do in a relationship... Seeing them actually helps us keep it fresh. It may seem odd or even completely baffling to some but I feel emotionally closer to my husband after he has been with her.

 

You may be young but you've made me think about things ;). I've never really thought about it but I'm not sure that in all cases seeing an escort is infidelity.

Some men are lazy at working on their marriage, 3 hockey leagues a week and not doing your family chores is not conducive to maintaining a healthy sex life with a tired partner. Those men may complain that "the wife" doesn't like sex or that the worse thing for a sex life is marriage when in reality they just need to step up, do their share and be there. I would have far less sympathy if that man decided to see an escort.

 

But I also happen to believe that in a marriage there is a reasonable expectation that sex will be a part of the equation. There are many very good, loving and caring husbands out there that are not getting what they need sex wise from their wives. I know many women in their 40s and 50s that have lost interest in sex. It almost becomes a chore. It is no longer important to them. Having different sex drives is quite hard on a relationship as it can easily lead to frustration and resentment. Also, what if a man had a particular "thing" he really wants to try but knows that his wife wants nothing to do with that. He brings it up casually and quickly realizes that she thinks that it's not "normal", or it's gross. This can easily start consuming this man's thoughts. This is what was happening to me. I kept thinking about being with a woman and it was always on my mind. I'm not sure that in these cases seeing an escort is infidelity. Perhaps getting his physical needs met elsewhere makes him more happy on the home front. Sex and love are 2 very different things.

 

You're right that human are fallible and the lines can get murky. I guess I've never really thought about it for myself. To me it is very very clear in my head. Seeing an escort is never about love. Of course because we are not emotionless robots I do care for her and I hope she is happy in her work life and personal life. I think that if a person seeing an escort develops more feelings they should probably step back and reevaluate the situation.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I've responded to versions of this question before. It's a good question.

 

We married in our 20's and we were each others only sexual partners. When our sex life dropped off a cliff in our 40's my wife felt guilty and said I could step outside the marriage for sex, as long as I was discreet and didn't see the same woman more than once. She didn't want me becoming emotionally attached to another woman. I told her I was happy and not to worry. On my own I did look in to internet sites for "hook ups" but I didn't have luck there as I was clear I was not seeking a relationship and most of those women wanted one, even if they said differently in their profile. I eventually found this site and started seeing high end escorts.

 

It's pointless to try and justify my actions. I wish things were different at home as my wife truly is beautiful and sexy, but I accept the reality and try and make the best of it. We find other ways around the issue to achieve sexual intimacy with each other. Emotionally we are very connected and compatible. So, very occasionally I have intercourse with an escort. I don't tell my wife "hon, I'm just heading out to get my "hedge trimmed", be back on time for supper" :) as I don't want her to feel guilty. She is smart though and no doubt has her suspicions.

 

Is it infidelity? Yes, in a purely physical sense I am being intimate with another women. I am not emotionally unfaithful however. I can't speak for women but I suspect they may look on these 2 things differently. In a perfect world everyone meets each others needs perfectly all the time. However, life was never meant to be perfect on our terms and the goal in life is to make lemonade when it serves you lemons occasionally. I wonder if a women would consider it a good marriage where the husband didn't help out at home, was emotionally distant, took her for granted, was selfish, but was sexually faithful. Is it a bad marriage where the husband is emotionally present, helps out at home, is caring and generous but was sexually unfaithful on discreet occasion?

 

In the end, we all have to just do the best we can in keeping our relationships strong with each other. Choose what works for each of you. It's sometimes not fair when society judges someone else's arrangement without "walking in their shoes". That's why I think the government should stay out of our beds and not interfere with consenting adults.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I have the attention span of a gnat and quite frankly just quickly gazed at the responses. My two cents....if we could all just accept that sex is sex and love is love we would all be a lot happier! To me, if an emotional attachment is created, then it's cheating. Purely physical encounters mean nothing in the grand scheme of things!

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

Myself, I have been in relationships where the person was mentally/emotionally *actually* not even there... but the sex was fun... and the other way around.. and would opt for the emotional/house/mental support over the sex any day of the week.

 

Polyamory... the word itself.. implies an emotional connection as well as a physical one.. a loving relationship.. and for the most part.. although a certain level of friendship develops between a client and who they see.. it is not the same as with one who shares your life... so polyamory doesn't really fit in this scenario.. but.. that's just me being picky <grin>

 

If two people have found a way to make things work, and wish, for their own reasons, to be together...then they should be.. if it's 'above-board' and honest, even better.

 

I know several people who would be much more comfortable if their partner chose to spend time with an SP/MP.. even on a regular basis, rather than cheat... and from what they say, it is much more to do with the fear of them developing an emotional relationship with someone else... with a 'professional'.. you don't get that.. at least, not at that same level...

[FunElement12 974]

I am very comfortable with my husband seeing an SP precisely because rules are in place and emotional attachment is not involved. We currently go see an escort together but I have no problems with him seeing her, or even someone else, without me. It's sex not love! He tells me that right now he doesn't want to but that may change in the future and if it does it's ok!

[0000 1845]

So much good stuff here, I'm going to try and address things in one post.

 

FunElement:

It sounds like you have found a wonderful balance in your relationship, it isn't always clear going into a marriage that the same sex with the same person may get boring after a time, and it can have a negative effect on other aspects of a relationship.

 

I've conveniently forgotten the fact that sex is indeed somewhat of an expectation in marriage within many faiths. Of course I personally believe that it is unreasonable for it to be an "expectation", but I guess that's probably one of the many reasons why I haven't personally considered marriage.

Sometimes men might not be doing their fair share, but sometimes people just lose interest in sex, particularly if there isn't any variety to it.

 

 

Steve Mcqueen:

 

This somewhat falls under the "young and naive" category.

I agree with you completely. There are expectations on both sides when entering a marriage, and as time goes on some of those expectations may seem unreasonable.

 

I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing, though it does sound like it creates some tension in your relationship, where you take the "don't ask don't tell" route to protect her emotionally.

 

I do wonder if you had this knowledge going in? Did you take marriage and vows seriously at the time, or was it more for the enjoyment of the experience? As I mentioned previously, it is fairly easy for someone like me to have a clear understanding of what marriage "demands" via a quick internet search, it may not have been so clear cut when such tools were not available.

 

CapitalC:

 

The word polyamory certainly does cast a wide net. It conjures up imagery of romantic love, but it seems to have become a catch all term for any non-monogamous intimate relationship.

 

I say to each their own as well. Though as I dig deeper into this topic, it becomes clear that it is more about the emotional attachment than the sex. This brings up more questions, now I'm trying to figure out why we are fine with poly-friendships but not okay with sharing deeper emotional attachments with more than one person. Though I know there is a difference between romantic love and friendship, perhaps only personal experience will help to truly understand where the line is drawn :)

 

Additional Comments:

I have the attention span of a gnat and quite frankly just quickly gazed at the responses. My two cents....if we could all just accept that sex is sex and love is love we would all be a lot happier! To me' date=' if an emotional attachment is created, then it's cheating. Purely physical encounters mean nothing in the grand scheme of things![/quote']

 

Perhaps we would be a lot happier, unfortunately everyone seems to have a different idea of where the line is drawn between love and lust.

[FunElement12 974]

The passionate "I may die if I don't have sex with you right now" early phase of a relationship is wonderful but not sustainable. Later It becomes the " I'm tired and not necessarily horny but grandma took the kids to lunch at McDonald's" phase and that is where couples need to make decisions about their sex life. If too many small opportunities are not use to have sex it may be hard to get that back with time. Just my 2 cents!

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

So much good stuff here, I'm going to try and address things in one post.

Steve Mcqueen:

 

This somewhat falls under the "young and naive" category.

I agree with you completely. There are expectations on both sides when entering a marriage, and as time goes on some of those expectations may seem unreasonable.

 

I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing, though it does sound like it creates some tension in your relationship, where you take the "don't ask don't tell" route to protect her emotionally.

 

I do wonder if you had this knowledge going in? Did you take marriage and vows seriously at the time, or was it more for the enjoyment of the experience? As I mentioned previously, it is fairly easy for someone like me to have a clear understanding of what marriage "demands" via a quick internet search, it may not have been so clear cut when such tools were not available.

 

 

You have a very inquisitive nature. That's a good thing and a sign of heightened intelligence, which is pretty apparent in your recent postings. And I'm not just saying that because you said you agree with me completely. LOL

 

Marriage is a leap of faith. Fully half of all marriages last forever, so you better be prepared going in to take it seriously!:) All kidding aside, I simply wanted to be with this woman all the time and marriage was the way to formally state that, for us. Apprehension before a commitment is normal and I had my share, as I'm sure my wife did too. I hoped we would have a successful marriage but the truth is, it's a lot of work. I learned to adjust my behaviour to accommodate this person I love and live with. Is that a cop out? No. Anyone who thinks and acts the same at 50 as they did at 20 have wasted 30 years of their life. I grew with her and as we spent more time together and made it through struggles and good times, we changed and our love for each other became stronger. That's a worthy accomplishment, in my mind. Maybe that's one of the benefits/goals of marriage. To learn how to compromise and to love deeply(there's not much compromise in the world these days, it seems). Aristotle believed love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. Sometimes I feel that way with my wife. Some days... not so much. :)

 

No one has a perfect marriage and they all have tension. I admit, I think I got lucky and sometimes people do make youthful mistakes which turn out badly. My wife is intelligent, pretty and practical when necessity demands it and committed to us. I wish we could give each other everything we need. Until then, we'll keep trying together as a married couple.

 

Thanks for some lively discussion.

[mrgreen760 37785]

My view is pretty simple if one is partnered whether married or not and their partner is unaware of them frequenting SP's it's cheating plain and simple and there is no justification.

 

I am and I do and there is no way I can or could justify it nor would I try to..... it is what it is.

 

Peace

MG

[waterat 20911]

I'm with Mr. Green on this. I don't justify my behavior nor do I ask my wife, whom I love, to explain our complete lack of intimacy.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Without dialogue how can there ever be intamacy?

[0000 1845]

My view is pretty simple if one is partnered whether married or not and their partner is unaware of them frequenting SP's it's cheating plain and simple and there is no justification.

 

I am and I do and there is no way I can or could justify it nor would I try to..... it is what it is.

 

Peace

MG

 

Well, I'd say "at least your honest", but I'm not really sure that "don't ask don't tell can be excluded from the definition of dishonesty :p

 

I'm with Mr. Green on this. I don't justify my behavior nor do I ask my wife, whom I love, to explain our complete lack of intimacy.

 

May I ask how you know that you love your wife? If she is never intimate with you, and you feel the need to hide your activities from her. What does loving your wife mean to you? That might seem like a mean spirited question, but it's an honest one all the same ;)

 

Without dialogue how can there ever be intamacy?

 

That was sort of my line of thinking as well. Honesty and communication is intimacy in my book. Sex isn't really intimacy, though combining the two provides a wonderful result :)

[kmwq 5477]

I don't justify it, I believe it's wrong and that it will hurt my spouse immensely if she finds out. I do it because, although I love my wife and want to spend the rest of my life with her, we are no longer compatible in bed. After 20 years of marriage she no longer needs it in her life. I, on the other hand need it regularly still. I tried going solo for a few years but it was not satisfying so eventually had to decide between an affair or a SP. With a SP, there was no commitment and not emotional. That was about 11-12 years ago and we still have a happy marriage, it's not perfect in the traditional sense but so far it's worked for me.

[FunElement12 974]

But is it wrong ...I go by the premise that there is the reasonable expectation that a marriage involves sex. If a person is not getting sex at home then seeing an escort is probably a very valid way of having sex. No commitment, no emotions but sexual satisfaction. I think that is better than become frustrated and resentful of a spouse for no longer having the same level of needs.

[0000 1845]

I don't justify it, I believe it's wrong and that it will hurt my spouse immensely if she finds out. I do it because, although I love my wife and want to spend the rest of my life with her, we are no longer compatible in bed. After 20 years of marriage she no longer needs it in her life. I, on the other hand need it regularly still. I tried going solo for a few years but it was not satisfying so eventually had to decide between an affair or a SP. With a SP, there was no commitment and not emotional. That was about 11-12 years ago and we still have a happy marriage, it's not perfect in the traditional sense but so far it's worked for me.

 

But is it wrong ...I go by the premise that there is the reasonable expectation that a marriage involves sex. If a person is not getting sex at home then seeing an escort is probably a very valid way of having sex. No commitment, no emotions but sexual satisfaction. I think that is better than become frustrated and resentful of a spouse for no longer having the same level of needs.

 

 

We may never really know? To answer that, we would first need to figure out if sex actually is a need. As a man, I can confirm that sometimes it feels like a need, but I wouldn't die without it, particularly as there are other forms of release.

 

There are many men who report a complete loss of desire after suppressing their sex drive for a certain period of time. It's never gone for good though, there are various things that can trigger a return of libido.

If there were no women in the world I'd never be horny again (hope that's not as ominous as it sounds ;) )

[FunElement12 974]

We may never really know? To answer that, we would first need to figure out if sex actually is a need. As a man, I can confirm that sometimes it feels like a need, but I wouldn't die without it, particularly as there are other forms of release.

 

There are many men who report a complete loss of desire after suppressing their sex drive for a certain period of time. It's never gone for good though, there are various things that can trigger a return of libido.

If there were no women in the world I'd never be horny again (hope that's not as ominous as it sounds ;) )

 

 

I believe that sex is a need not a want. In a very basic way we need sex to survive as a species, we all come from sex. It is a need just like breathing and eating, granted we can survive way longer without sex than oxygen. You may not die from not having sex but I think that for many people not having sexual release or intimate physical contact with another person would negatively affect them. Celibacy is not a natural state for humans. Catholic priest have struggled with this. I'm pretty sure that all priests that have had sex with young boys knew very well that what they were doing was wrong at many levels but the urges were too strong.

 

I know that we are talking about sex not masturbation here but I sometimes read the no fapping thread on Reddit. I can't understand why (mostly) young men would take on the challenge to not masturbate. For many they can do it for 6-7 days then can't take it anymore and feel awful that they have failed. Start again and fail again. Not sure how good that it for self esteem.

 

Of course you'd be horny even if there were no women in the world. Heterosexual men in prisons have no contact with women and engage in sex with other inmates. They probably would never have considered sex with a man in the outside world but prison doesn't take away the need for sex or physical contact. So if no women were around men would never wake up with "morning wood"? That would be sad! ;)

 

On a side note, you make many reference to men, I get it, you're a guy but don't forget that women are sexual too. :) We get horny, we masturbate and we want sex because we are human.

[capitalCforcougar 16766]

celebacy is certainly *not* a 'natural' state.. not for any creature/mammal actually. And it is a long-proven medical fact that sex/sexual release is a 'need' and not always a 'want'.... the build-up of tension, stress et al... is physically/mentally, emotionally draining.. and with the release.. comes the euphoria and relaxation that is also a *need* in order to function properly.

There is a massive chemical release/change when one either has s3x or masturbates.. and acts as literally a 'reset button' for your whole being....that is helpful physically as well as an incredible amount of other things.... so even if there were no more women on the planet.. yes, my dear boy...<grin> you would in fact, become h0rny again.. and again......<grin>.. and again.. you'd just handle it differently hehe

 

As far as the priests.. yeah.. I have long been of the opinion that forcing someone into celibacy is yet another form of instilling guilt...(no offence of course)... because you are definitely going to fail.... no matter how you chose to deal with it... being human, it is almost impossible to go your entire life without any form of that sort of release.

.....even if you are not conscious of it... you actually *have* 0rgasmed in your sleep.. several times before the age of 10... again.. it's a form of release that is muchly needed. And when you think about all the things a body/mind/psych goes through from age 0 to 10.. hehe it's no wonder we need some help lol

 

Although not many mammals have s3x purely for the sake of enjoyment.... as it is largely for procreation.. it will always be a 'need' in some form or another.

 

Quite frankly, I myself go sort of batsh1t crazy if I go a few days with no sort of release. If a person can't sleep, or is feeling particularly stressed/tense... chances are, a little 'solo time' can relieve that... as can a lovely session with a parrrtner <wink> hehe whether 'married' or not ;)

 

... 'marriage' to me, has been turned into something so commercial (much like almost everything else unfortunately..*sigh*....) I have never required a piece of paper to validate a relationship.... and still find it humorous/sad that *one* religion made that soooo important.. when, if they were to *actually* read the bible...(old testament) it says (and I cannot recall the chapter/verse)

"...and he took her into his cave.. and made her his wife"....

hehe wonder what they were doing in there? signing legally-binding marriage documents...? playing a rousing game of Parcheesi perrrrhaps...? naaah.. they were having seeeex! ;)