Race, Dating and the SP

[crillin 54]

Hi everyone! I thought about posting this topic on other boards but I feel most of the people here are mature, respectful and will probably have some good insight.

 

I find myself thinking that people who are exposed to more cultures and have traveled the world are more open, tolerant and accepting of others from different backgrounds. I currently live in a small city where I find a large majority of people that I meet are the opposite of what I have described. Of course I am of the visible minority and the population here is predominately caucasian so sometimes I feel self-conscious about it. I originally came from a fairly large canadian city and have never felt this way before coming here. I realize a large part of my problem is in my head and I have to make an effort pushing those kinds of thoughts aside; however, I feel that may be some truth to what I have proposed.

 

So what does this have to do with SPs? Well, I gather that most if not all SPs have come across people of all races and would therefore have a better perspective on the topic than most. My question to the SPs is, when you entered the industry did you have prejudices and have they changed or have they been reinforced since working?

 

As for dating, yes I am trying to date at the moment but find it difficult in my current city. All too often I find someone with x,y,z requirements that I fit but I really never get the chance beyond a glance at my profile or a simple hello.

 

Thanks in advance to those who respond!

[April Dawn 12207]

A big not so secret secret of mine is that I am a mixed race. Most people who see me think I am caucasian and if that is what they desire it works for me. In my personal life it has caused issues though..

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[LuxeMulvari 65764]

Unfortunately there are still racist people out there. I for one have been told I am too "ethnic" or when I have had an add in the paper, upon asking if I am white and I reply no, have been hung up on or a hasty "ok thanks" click.

 

I'm not knocking people who prefer Caucasian ladies, but they don't have to be rude to me. As far as it "being all in your head" being treated different as a minority, it's not.Unfortunately some people are still stuck in 1950 lol.

 

The fact is, some people are still very close minded and still believe us beige/brown/red/yellow/black people are inferior to them.However, the best advice I got on this issue was from one of my professors in school a few years back. She said" You have to accept your skin is a different colour, and some people, no matter how nice, smart, funny or kind you are to them will never get past the fact you look different. You can't please everyone. So make yourself happy in knowing you're a wonderful person." That always stuck with me.

 

I am mixed race, and I am from a place where it's VERY interracial. I judge people on how they treat me not the colour of their skin or circumstances.I don't care if you're plaid, as long as you're good to me I'll return the favour :)

 

Even though I have had bad treatment in my life, i know that it is their issue because they close minded, and I am a beautiful person and it's their loss not mine. There's alot of wonderful people in this world who care for me and see my differences as an asset, not a reliability or a fault.

 

So to answer your question, yes my views have changed since I entered this wonderful world, I never knew people could be so judgemental and cruel based on my skin and the way I look, but then on the other side of the coin I have never met so many wonderful people who are fascinated by our cultural differences and treat me like a rare exotic gem they are entranced by.

 

It feels so good to be me!!!

[PistolPete 61421]

Well said Luxie, and you know what, you are right "it feels good to be me" and in fact it feels even better to laying beside you and feeling your body pressed against mine. ;)

 

You are correct though, I think it is more on the other side of the coin. I have as well met many wonderful people, regardless of ethnic background.

 

but then on the other side of the coin I have never met so many wonderful people who are fascinated by our cultural differences and treat me like a rare exotic gem they are entranced by.

 

It feels so good to be me!!!

[Carrie Moon 68826]

I grew up in small town Ontario.. white as white can be... and when I moved to bigger and bigger cities started encountering other races and colors. I have never been brought up to be racist and I believe that shapes who you are as far as your beliefs are concerned.

 

As an sp.. no different. I don't discriminate on color, size or shape. So long as you're respectful and courteous and your money is green (or brown, or blue, or purple. etc) you're welcome to book me.

[arianne 1426]

Unfortunately there are still racist people out there. I for one have been told I am too "ethnic" or when I have had an add in the paper, upon asking if I am white and I reply no, have been hung up on or a hasty "ok thanks" click.

 

I'm not knocking people who prefer Caucasian ladies, but they don't have to be rude to me. As far as it "being all in your head" being treated different as a minority, it's not.Unfortunately some people are still stuck in 1950 lol.

 

The fact is, some people are still very close minded and still believe us beige/brown/red/yellow/black people are inferior to them.However, the best advice I got on this issue was from one of my professors in school a few years back. She said" You have to accept your skin is a different colour, and some people, no matter how nice, smart, funny or kind you are to them will never get past the fact you look different. You can't please everyone. So make yourself happy in knowing you're a wonderful person." That always stuck with me.

 

I am mixed race, and I am from a place where it's VERY interracial. I judge people on how they treat me not the colour of their skin or circumstances.I don't care if you're plaid, as long as you're good to me I'll return the favour :)

 

Even though I have had bad treatment in my life, i know that it is their issue because they close minded, and I am a beautiful person and it's their loss not mine. There's alot of wonderful people in this world who care for me and see my differences as an asset, not a reliability or a fault.

 

So to answer your question, yes my views have changed since I entered this wonderful world, I never knew people could be so judgemental and cruel based on my skin and the way I look, but then on the other side of the coin I have never met so many wonderful people who are fascinated by our cultural differences and treat me like a rare exotic gem they are entranced by.

 

It feels so good to be me!!!

 

Well said.

 

So very strange are the stereotypes or at times ignorance attributed to the colour of ones skin.

 

I can never wrap my head around it.

 

I was raised in a multicultural family, and have lived in different countries and I guess as a result, my friends were/are of varying backgrounds/races.

 

I have never seen others as a skin colour/race but as a person and as Carrie said, it all comes down to how one is treated .

[day_n_night 100]

... I judge people on how they treat me not the colour of their skin or circumstances.I don't care if you're plaid, as long as you're good to me I'll return the favour :) ...

 

I'm aware I'm 2 months behind the curve, (I like curves ;) ) But I'm going to dig this one up. Found it in Google while searching for something completely unrelated!

 

Being from England, I have met and worked with people of many different nationalities, races and sexual orientations. I learned early on (in fact it was probably drummed into me as a child) that you take people as you find them.

 

I am straight, but have gay friends; I am English speaking white but have friends with their origins in China, India, Africa, Jamaica and Europe; I have a short beard but have friends who are clean shaven; I am male but have friends who are female ...

 

Now - see how stupid discrimination can become? - yet believe it or not I have been discriminated against because I have facial hair!

 

 

Have fun folks - life's too short not to :D

[fortunateone 156618]

I'm aware I'm 2 months behind the curve, (I like curves ;) ) But I'm going to dig this one up. Found it in Google while searching for something completely unrelated!

 

Being from England, I have met and worked with people of many different nationalities, races and sexual orientations. I learned early on (in fact it was probably drummed into me as a child) that you take people as you find them.

 

I am straight, but have gay friends; I am English speaking white but have friends with their origins in China, India, Africa, Jamaica and Europe; I have a short beard but have friends who are clean shaven; I am male but have friends who are female ...

 

Now - see how stupid discrimination can become? - yet believe it or not I have been discriminated against because I have facial hair!

 

 

Have fun folks - life's too short not to :D

 

 

Yep, and I'm white, blonde and english background, but discriminated thru life for being female. People are judgmental, make assumptions, and so on, and the best revenge is being happy with who you are and what you have achieved thru your own actions.

[Guest tr*****e]

and the best revenge is being happy with who you are and what you have achieved thru your own actions.

 

Yes, and to ignore haters. I'm not a visible minority but we're all human beings, and who we are is what ppl should judge us on, not what we look like.

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

I'm also from a small town. My parents brought us up to treat everyone as equals no matter race,religion or anything else for that matter.My sister married a gentlemen from the only un-white family in our town at the time. Since then my home town has grown and i believe many of the people have too. I'm so glad my family was brought up the way we were or i would have missed out on meeting so many great people. I love experiencing new cultures and people. I'm always learning something new and had my parents been ignorant like many others i would have missed the wonderful experiences I've had and will continue to have. So hold your hear high and walk with pride and confidence because of who you are.

big hugs,

Emma

[jughead 45]

I am also from a small town and there are times when the small town attitude, or maybe a better way to phare that is the old school town attitude toward anyone different is very apparent. I certainly hope that I have never come across as racist, I do try to treat people that same. In todays society where everyone is so hyper focused on political correctness and racism one word in a sentence changes it whole meaning without even meaning to do so. It is so easy to say something and have someone else point out that it was taken in a way you never ment to to be.

[SteevesTheKing 100]

Nice to see so many open-minded ladies and men on this board.

[loopie 15358]

I think Luxie makes a key distinction. Not being sexually attracted to people of a certain ethnicity doesn't make you racist. I don't think people can force themselves to become attracted to somebody they don't find attractive. Race is just another physical characteristic. If somebody tells me they're only attracted to one race, I don't see that as being any different from only liking one body type or one hair colour. But if you can't accept that other people will form mixed-race couples, then yes, you are a racist (and you might be redneck).

 

I also agree with Luxie that it is rude to hang up on anybody. If you call an escort and ask her about herself and she doesn't sound like what you want, you should just politely say "Thanks, but you're just not what I'm looking for." and end the call.

[roamingguy 300291]

At the end of the day, it is the man or woman inside that counts

And treat others, all others, as you would like to be treated....with respect

RG

[LuxeMulvari 65764]

I saw this video......made me think of my parents......one is white the other is brown....dating in the 60's was a very different time for mixed race couples my parent went through alot to be together...........told me alot of stories.I'm glad they didnt care or listen to what people said though, i wouldnt be here if they weren't so brave...i hope my generation can end this, we are all the same inside. Was just reading and came across this thread again and thought i'd post:)

 

[Sappho 1247]

I don't understand discrimination, but I have been through the consequences of it. As a white girl who lived in an aborginal area I was beat up frequently. I never understood it. As a gay female who has lost many friends when I came out... I don't understand it.

 

I don't get it how someone can immediately judge a person as a whole because of skin colour, gender, orientation, etc. I've always accepted people into my life because I thought that everyone has something to give and learn from. To just cut someone off because you were born a different colour, background, orientation, etc just seems so odd to me.

 

It's too bad that there are people out there who believe that they are right in discriminating against someone. People are people... we are all the same on the inside and that's what people should be focusing on.

 

I feel sorry for anyone who is so closed minded that they can't open up their lives to someone who is diffeent from them. Look at all they are missing!!

[nntsci 11075]

I'm white, chubby and was discriminated through my youth with being a geek, nerd, and chubby etc..

 

I personally enjoy the diversity and see skin colour, and hair colour, and eye colour, and body shape, and lots of other differences between people and see those differences as adding spice to the excitement of the event.

 

I'm not mixed, but my kids are.

[Guest LittleWingnut]

To quote Cyril Neville of the Neville Brothers, "There's only one race and that's the human race." I prefer to take each person as they are minus their ethnicity, orientation, culture etc. A good person is just that a good person. I'll leave it at that.

[sandimoon 72517]

I don't get it how someone can immediately judge a person as a whole because of skin colour, gender, orientation, etc. I

 

Sadly because they are too bereft of any brains to come up with

a more original premise for disliking another person.

Setting aside the fact that half of my family is either

Black or of mixed ethnicity, I find racism to be base & unimaginative.

If one is incapable of mustering the intelligence needed

to find a valid reason for taking issue with someone,

other the glaringly obvious,

they are simply too lazy, stupid & consequently useless to

be afforded any further consideration on my part.

And I WILL tell them so.

Or lay them out.

It all depends on what was said & if alcohol is involved.

Sandi

[Maria Divina 2262]

Hello to all :icon_biggrin:

 

*I just want to apologies to any kind of English errors who could appear in my writings: I am a French speaker person, that could reflect in a not perfect written English.

 

Question is:

 

When you entered the industry did you have prejudices and have they changed or have they been reinforced since working?

 

Oh! yes, I did have prejudices, but not ethnic.

I was just thinking, when I started, that I was about to meet dangerous gangs (any kind) or other criminals who will want to control me, force me to drug myself and meet dangerous psychotic clients who will make me do a lots of perverted unwanted actions.....

 

That did not take long that I realized that my experience was a thousands of miles of those strange (but current views of the majority of the members of the society) I had.

My experience is totally not what the little lady at her beginning thought, and I am clearly happy now, and that is bringing me a lots of kinds of satisfaction, not only the $ factor, as some may thing... But that's another (good) subject I might start :)

So, my prejudices of the start disappear after just few experiences...

 

*****

 

I have been myself discriminated in my youth time, because I have a spanish ascendance and I have a spanish name, and just for that, because I am caucasian. (of course, I have some traits, but I am born here in Quebec province and talking French with any accent ) Some people put me apart sometimes because of my ascendance, strange but true.

I will be soon moving in a more country place, and some people had strange reaction when I told my name when I was looking for my new home, because around that place, people are all white and they are all knowing each other, and the history of their families. I know you get the picture :)

 

I am figuring out that I am blessed to have a mixed heritage because yes, it opened my views on other ways to live, and with my courtesan activity, I had the chance to travel and meet some different people, with different culture and backgrounds, that is just fantastic! (one of the positive side effect) So, for this part, I was already seeing it positively and my experience just concord my expectations at that level.