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Down and out (not in Beverly Hills)

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Anyone ever just start feeling down in general and kinda want a little companionship, but at the same time don't quite feel like you're worthy of it so although you have a few people you have seen regularly and will probably help get you out of that funk, you just don't make that call?

 

Uh asking for a friend...

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I think we all feel that way at times. It takes alot of courage and honesty for you to say it out loud (for your friend . lol) .

It's sad that no one has replied and certainly not a reflection on your character.

It can be easy to get stuck in feeling like you don't deserve ___ ( fill in the blank - happiness, companionship, financial security, friendship etc).

It may sound simplistic but it's actually really powerful ... give yourself PERMISSION to be happy.

Allow yourself to enjoy something even if it's just taking the dog for a walk or making a nice meal or going for a drive .

Service providers can be kind and supportive and genuinely care but still need to maintain a professional relationship.

That said I have a few clients whom I would consider friends within the bounds of the compensated time we spend together.

Perhaps a good friend outside this business or a counselor could be more beneficial ?

Sending you a hug and some positive energy.

Bonnie.... Uh replying for a friend ! lol

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17 hours ago, OldandNerdy said:

Anyone ever just start feeling down in general and kinda want a little companionship, but at the same time don't quite feel like you're worthy of it so although you have a few people you have seen regularly and will probably help get you out of that funk, you just don't make that call?

 

Uh asking for a friend...

Not uncommon, and I'm guessing this happens more often among men than women. From the podcasts I listen to, older males do not, in general, make efforts to establish social connections. This is a mistake and results in many bad effects, physical and mental. I think we live in an alienating culture, it's easy to feel discarded.

This is compounded by the simple fact that unless rich, older guys get no attention from women. If one is not socially inept, you can change this, but that's a big if. Most guys I know are socially inept, as am I. And it's easy to wake up one day and realize that you've been  isolated for 10 years, just creeps up on you.

Which is one reason I cannot understand why sex work is illegal in our culture. Aside from the fact that I don't think it's any of the government's business who we have sex with or why, it would be in our best interests to find more ways for people to connect. Meeting with a sex worker is not a substitute for a happy sex life, but the choice is often not between a good and not-so-good sex life, sometimes the choice is being paying for it and no human connection at all. We pay money to be massaged when we ache, we pay therapists to essentially be our friends, why do we draw the line at intimate touch? It's a mystery to me.

Tell your friend to go spend an hour or more with an MA/SP. It's money well spent. If you want to socialize, how about volunteering at a community theatre or some other community occasion. Most of those groups are dying for help. You don't need any special talents, sometimes they just need people to pick stuff up with their car and carry it into the building. When you're done, go have coffee with the people there. 

It's a sad fact that we don't make many new friends after we leave school or after we get married or pair up. But most couples break up, kids move away, so those things are not necessarily your entire life, but it's just easy to fall into living as if they are.

You know those alpha males in the movies who always get laid and are always getting invited to parties, I've known maybe 2 guys like that in my entire life and I'm retired so I've been around a while. Everyone always feel inadequate compared to them, that's what marketing does, it makes you feel bad so that you buy the stuff they're trying to sell you.

 

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I want to Echo the previous post about spending time with a massage attendant, sometimes we need just human touch some social activity, if your friend can find an independent massage attendant and ask for some social time as well this might serve your friend great deal of benefits.

Sometimes it's just about human connection and touch that is needed, and typically an independent MA has a little bit more freedom to customize exactly what you are looking for. For myself, I've been built my business model around this. 

Your friend is not alone in being introvert or socially awkward. Most of us providers are as well LOL

 

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headache --> medicate

lonely --> call

beat inertia, one step at a time.  Perhaps put the number on speed dial!  Once picked up, the friend will likely make the next step, and undoubtedly feel better after doing so

 

if it's more than inertia, talk to someone about it.  It can be debilitating, and your friend is not alone...

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