Have you ever?

[JokersWild 102]

Dear members,

 

I had a repeat session with one of Ottawa Ladies and I really admired her intelligence and personality, not to mention her good looks and an athletic body; everything that I had been searching for since a little more than a year of hobbying in Ottawa. (Actually, I knew of her from before, but just recently decided to set an appointment to see her without knowing how she was like and whether or not we'll connect.) She has very similar tastes in music, extracurriculars and entertainment. She remembered me from my last visit and was pleasantly surprised to see me again. We have very similar goals in life and value higher education (I am just finishing a Masters degree)

After my visit, I just didnt feel right stepping out of the door just to leave her alone in a hotel room. She is too nice for this. I believe we can have a great time if we started to hang out and really spend some time talking and getting to know each other.

So what I am planning to do is take a break from seeing other SPs. I'll only save my time to see this particularly lady and even ask her on my next visit if she would be interested to go out to a coffee shop, restaurant or someplace interesting. I am eventually planning to ask her out on an actual date to see where it can lead us.

What do you guys think?

 

 

Just a little info about myself. I am in my late twenties. Havent been in a serious relationship for close to two years but have dated women since my last relationship. Very respectable towards women

 

Joker

[capitalman 3861]

I don't see why you shouldn't ask her out...why not? But you're going to have to be happy to share her. Can YOU deal with that? I know some SP's lead double lives and have significant others that don't know about their SP careers. If you were dating an SP and one day she said "I'm quitting that, I'm just going to be with you only." would you believe her? Could you believe her? I'm not so sure I could.

 

Big questions.....

[JokersWild 102]

I don't see why you shouldn't ask her out...why not? But you're going to have to be happy to share her. Can YOU deal with that? I know some SP's lead double lives and have significant others that don't know about their SP careers. If you were dating an SP and one day she said "I'm quitting that, I'm just going to be with you only." would you believe her? Could you believe her? I'm not so sure I could.

 

Big questions.....

 

 

Hey Capital,

Thanks for your comment. I guess I believe that timing is everything and I am looking to take her out on my next visit to show her that I am really interested in more than just the sex and then ask her for a nighttime dinner date that wont conflict with her schedule. As far as the problem of sharing her, I did some thinking and figured that she is smart and independent so I would let her decide how long she wants to SP. She is from a good family and told me she eventually hopes to quit this business for good after school.

As for me, I am not looking for something serious right away...but wouldn't it be so much easier to have someone like this that would be able to understand my past hobby for SPs?

JokersWild

[kih 458]

JW,

 

Funny you should mention this subject. With myself personally, I have taken the ladies to lunch and dinner dates and at times just gone for coffee or gone shopping. ;) Its a great way to connect and to build friendships beyond the role of SP and client.

[Poker 125]

As KIH said, taking them out and getting to know them and just having fun with them can be very rewarding. Shoot we want GFE, well that's part of it. I'm even taking my regular sweetheart on a nice trip next month. She's stoked, I'm stoked. It'll be a great time.

 

Just be carefull. Nothing worse than hoping for an unrealistic future. Falling for your SP is a dangerous road to walk. I lnow. I'm falling for mine, and she knows it cause I told her. But we keep it real. But I do know one day it's going to have to end. :(

 

Remember, they usually keep this a secret to their friends and familly. Which also means they probably keep things secret from us. Of course they do. No matter how much they tell you "everything" there is always something big they keep from you. Boyfriend, husband, shoot maybe even girlfriend.

 

All I'm saying is have fun but be careful. Dating is fun. Specially with the right girl. I know mine is.

[Guest f***2f***]

More than one sp has said to me that it is nigh on impossible to have a relationship when you're doing this full time. It's an understanding, jealousy, time thing. Will you be able to have an awesome date with her and then sit home knowing that she is with 4 or 5 men the next day who care little or nothing for her? Most people think they can do it but end up with a broken heart according to the ladies or worse they get nasty.

Everyone is different, this might work out for you....go for it and see what happens...you only go round once and love is a difficult thing to find (in my experience)

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

Sometimes these things can work out if you and she are able to seperate the 2 {work,reality}. I for one have tried this but with me i like men too much to just have one bf. Thats just me though she maybe different. If you think you could handle being with her and knowing that she is with other men and it doesn't bother you {knowing it's her job} then what the heck ....have fun and enjoy her as a real person not just an sp. Like dummpy said "love is hard to find}.

good luck,

Emma A

[Guest f***2f***]

Sometimes these things can work out if you and she are able to seperate the 2 {work,reality}. I for one have tried this but with me i like men too much to just have one bf. Thats just me though she maybe different. If you think you could handle being with her and knowing that she is with other men and it doesn't bother you {knowing it's her job} then what the heck ....have fun and enjoy her as a real person not just an sp. Like dummpy said "love is hard to find}.

good luck,

Emma A

 

Hey that was me that said that!!! dummpy may be a god but he doesn't say everything!!! lol:D

[Poker 125]

I think someone has Dumppy on the brain

[capitalman 3861]

Jokerswild makes a good point about her knowing his own past. I knew a girl that was an SP before I met her. We were just friends. She moved away and got married. One day this guy phones me (years later) and he's very upset. He found my number in her "little black book" and he said he was her husband and he wanted to know who the hell was she? He said she's hiding stuff and why am I in her black book. I told him the truth, that we were just friends...but that's all I said. It was none of my business. I told him if they're not honest with each other, than maybe they weren't good together and I hung up and asked him not to call me back. I felt bad for him, worse for her.

[Guest hot_lyxxx]

You are going into this with your "eyes wide open" as they say. All the best to you and her.

[Guest *D E**a]

Well my experience has been most men won't date you once they know ur "job". Some find it fascinating and wish they could do it too. But the trust is gone from the start. I know because I have been single forever and tried dating and unless u lie it doesn't work and I don't lie......

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

Hey that was me that said that!!! dummpy may be a god but he doesn't say everything!!! lol:D

 

 

my apologies Boner...i bow to you...kisses...

i'm just used to dummpy yacking thats all...lol

kisses,

Emma Alexandra

[suburb1 153]

On balance as Emmq said thinhs might work out..So with eyes wide open, enjoy the adventure, have fun, stock up some awesome memories and see where it goes...Nothing ventured etc. The key thing is to honestly determine whether you can emotionally continue sharing her with others, as you become more attached, I would venture this may become extremely challenging.

 

Bonne chance mon ami

[d*mm*y 887]

Don't get confused between a lady that wraps men around her finger as a profession and true love. True love is hard to find, and it is defined as unconditional, not "I will love you as long as____" or "now that I know _______ I can't love you anymore". People lye anyone I know is forgive in advance even before I get to know them, it keeps the dialog open to know that I am not trying to catch them in a lye, and if they are holding something back than when the time is appropriate they can tell me without feeling guilty about deceiving me until them. Every client and to some extent many ladies go through these feelings, I look into the eyes of many ladies and I would say that one in 10 is genuine love at first site!! The lady is in this business because of certain needs that are unfulfilled. She may not even know all the reasons herself, and the last thing you want to be is a convenient way out, that will not last. It takes hundreds of hours before you can begin to become comfortable with someone and much longer to understand true love.

 

Joker you seem to be trying to start a relationship on the right foot take it very slowly and start with a few lunch dates, also ask yourself can you afford this lady, both emotionally and financially because it is a very hard road I had a girl friend who was an SP we dated and live together for nearly a year that was 18 years ago and to this day she calls me for advice and help and we meet and have lunch, she chose a different path and has paid dearly for her choices. My second wife was a feature dancer and led a very interesting life and dragged me along through 7 years and 2 children, again she chose a different path and was in a bad place for many many years I hope sh is finally getting her stuff together!!

 

Life ain't simple and when you are damaged goods like so many of us are it is really really tuff to get it, and even tougher for the people around us to get it.

 

Not sure if anything I am saying makes sense but it's not straight forward

[Seymour 3970]

Hi all, I'm new to the board but not the hobby. Joker - this scenario is not clear cut. To help guide you, remember three questions:

1) Why do I hobby?

2) What am I really after (fantasy, fulfillment, enrichment, a matrimonial relationship ...)?

3) Can I really quit?

 

The answers to these will vary from individual to individual. You will need to perform some serious soul searching my friend.

In my personal experience, I have two SPs that 'fell' for me - in one case, the first time we met she politely told me that she didn't want to go through with the session because she thought we had something much more lasting. This girl gave me her real name and her private cell number. THAT FREAKED ME OUT!!! It is flattering but came as a HUGE surprise!

I still speak with her, but not as a client - we talked about that first night and what could be and I helped her realize that we are on different paths - she may be ready for a long term stable 'normal relationship', but I'm not. (It is nothing about her, this girl is attractive, charming, sweet, and has a good head on her shoulders - I'm just in a space where I don't want to entertain a 'normal relationship' right now).

 

Perhaps I was better equipped to handle this situation from a previous event from my past. About a year and a half ago the shoe was on the other foot - I fell for an SP. Like you, got emotionally attached and was meeting/chatting with her when she was not working. The scary thing about this is I was trying to rescue this young lady - and she didn't want to be rescued. She had a plan and she stuck to it.

Joker, do you get jealous?

I could not bear to think about who, when, where this woman was meeting. Hence the urge to 'rescue' her. But credit to her - she was able to accomplish her goal and move on. If she were a deceptive person I could be in serious financial ruin today. Thankfully I'm not.

 

All this to say, tread carefully.

[YoungStud 468]

I guess it all comes down to honesty and trust. How do you know anything she's told you is true? It may well be, in whole or part, but how do you know right now?

 

You can't make someone trust you and you can't make them love you. If you like someone enough to be with her long enough, can take the risk of giving her honesty and trust and love without expecting a quid pro quo about any of those things on her part, maybe honesty and trust and love will develop for you from her. Even then though, that doesn't mean things will develop into the kind of relationship you may want.

 

You pretty much have to take a risk and accept everything you know about her now or ever will know about her and her life, including the fact that she may never be honest with you, trust you or love you. And accept the fact that taking a risk means that sometimes you lose - but sometimes - less often in my experience - you win.

 

You're playing long odds here buddy - but best of luck to you.

[kih 458]

Don't get confused between a lady that wraps men around her finger as a profession and true love. True love is hard to find, and it is defined as unconditional, not "I will love you as long as____" or "now that I know _______ I can't love you anymore". People lye anyone I know is forgive in advance even before I get to know them, it keeps the dialog open to know that I am not trying to catch them in a lye, and if they are holding something back than when the time is appropriate they can tell me without feeling guilty about deceiving me until them. Every client and to some extent many ladies go through these feelings, I look into the eyes of many ladies and I would say that one in 10 is genuine love at first site!! The lady is in this business because of certain needs that are unfulfilled. She may not even know all the reasons herself, and the last thing you want to be is a convenient way out, that will not last. It takes hundreds of hours before you can begin to become comfortable with someone and much longer to understand true love.

 

Joker you seem to be trying to start a relationship on the right foot take it very slowly and start with a few lunch dates, also ask yourself can you afford this lady, both emotionally and financially because it is a very hard road I had a girl friend who was an SP we dated and live together for nearly a year that was 18 years ago and to this day she calls me for advice and help and we meet and have lunch, she chose a different path and has paid dearly for her choices. My second wife was a feature dancer and led a very interesting life and dragged me along through 7 years and 2 children, again she chose a different path and was in a bad place for many many years I hope sh is finally getting her stuff together!!

 

Life ain't simple and when you are damaged goods like so many of us are it is really really tuff to get it, and even tougher for the people around us to get it.

 

Not sure if anything I am saying makes sense but it's not straight forward

 

Dummpy,

 

Thanks for your wisdom. It makes sense to me.

[capitalman 3861]

Love is a decision. Think about it, it's true.

 

The myth of, "Oh, I'm in love..now I will be honest and dedicated and true to this one person. They complete me. Everything is going to be okay now" is not enough. You need a decision to follow up on it. Just mho.

 

I've fallen in love many times, but it's not enough. Life is about love, without it there is no life. Decisions are what make us different from the animals.