Jabba 18389 Report post Posted July 6, 2012 (edited) I'm watching a show on vampires & on the very top surface, there is a sexual component that appeals, maybe primarily, to a female audience. Darkness, danger, pain/pleasure, decadence, tragedy, fluids, whatever. I don't think sexuality can be defined by the desires or archetypes of any one gender. How would anyone objectively describe sex in terms of a human experience? Is sex genderless or is it defined by basic gender drives? If so, which gender has the most complex sexual desires? Media: I bring this area up to get it out of the way. The media has a huge backlog of sexualized (sort-of) images to pump product. And this is an area that causes me the most angst. This is commercial sex. It's pernicious and in my opinion harmful. But, this is another topic. How would you describe sex in terms of something that cannot be articulated. Maybe as something experienced? Are there shapes, colours, gestures, touches, behaviours that define sex for you? Edited July 6, 2012 by Jabba Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nathalie L 112512 Report post Posted July 6, 2012 Would the show happen to be "True Blood" from HBO? If so, then I'm a huge fan and would love to see Eric Northman and Sookie Stackhouse have 'sex'. I agree with you Jabba, in the sense that sex cannot be defined objectively. One person's definition of sex might be very different from their definition of intimacy. For some people, they might be able to have sex without being intimate, and vice-versa. I find it much more difficult to draw that distinction. Some people believe you can have non-intimate sex, some people believe that intimacy without penetrative sex is still sex. Gender relations can complicate matters. To assume sex is something that happens when a man and a woman have sex penetrative sex completely delegitimizes the sex I might have with a female partner (i.e. sex between women isn't 'real' sex because there necessarily any penetration). I love this idea of 'sex' as something experienced. Something open to interpretation - a thing which is impossible to describe and best lived. Why try to understand it? I definitely associate certain touches with sex and intimacy. The feeling of a partner's hands on my bottom as they grab my inner thigh from behind, the feel of weight on top of me (as the case may be), or the gentle exploration of another person's body. I've never associated shapes or colours to sex and intimacy, but I can see how that would happen. I've sometimes had mind-blowing orgasms - the wide-eyed "let me look into your eyes as I climax" type orgasms - and associate those moments with peace, with connection, with feeling truly and utterly comfortable with someone. There's a huge sense of release, security, and love that can come from a moment like that! Those concepts and ideas aren't always associated with sex. Really great thread idea, Jabba! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nntsci 11076 Report post Posted July 8, 2012 Interesting thread. During my first sexual experience ever, the girl, after the condom was on, decided not to insert my manhood and brought me to issue by rubbing it against her body. We never had another date. So I was left wondering for a few months if I was a still a virgin or not. It doesn't matter to me now, but it did back then. On the other hand a few years later I had this "friend" at work who was flirting with me, a lot, and I was thinking about her one night when I was home and called her at the work (she was working the night shift) and I masturbated while talking to her. A couple months later after we had become lovers I told her about that, and she counted it as sex -- "oh, ok, so this was our 3rd time" she said smiling. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabba 18389 Report post Posted July 8, 2012 Oh yeah. I forgot to add mucous to the list of good stuff. Thanks!:icon_eek: 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300291 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 What is sex???...well it goes way beyond the conventional idea that it is simply the penis in the vagina for reproduction. Yes that is sex. But sex is much more than that. And I'm qualifying this, I'm talking about consensual sex. It is when two or more people express physically (hows that for a clinical phrase LOL) and intimately for pleasure, their like/love and attraction for one another. It can be within a long term committed relationship, or a short term non-committal encounter Just a bit more thrown in for discussion RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 For me kissing is sex. I find kissing much more intimate and sensual than say intercourse. Some might argue I'm just not doing it right and that could well be true. I can have intercourse and never look at my partner....kissing I can't. The eyes are the window to the soul and I like to look in windows. Peace MG 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nntsci 11076 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 For Squid, the male takes his sperm package from his sex organ, and using his tentacles places it in a pouch on the female. the Female then takes the sperm package and uses it to fertalize her eggs. No genital to genital contact what so ever, but the squid get really involved and excited about the process... changing colours and so on and they die shortly after. Some smaller males pretend to be females, have other males mate with them, them while the larger more agressive males are busy, the little males go in and score with the lady squids. Although most new squids are from the big and brauny males, the little males that act like females, have a disproportionate success rate (higher than you would expect given their numbers). From some show I watched on the National Geograhic Channel Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrrnice2 157005 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 I don't think sexuality can be defined by the desires or archetypes of any one gender. How would anyone objectively describe sex in terms of a human experience? Is sex genderless or is it defined by basic gender drives? If so, which gender has the most complex sexual desires? How would you describe sex in terms of something that cannot be articulated. Maybe as something experienced? Are there shapes, colours, gestures, touches, behaviours that define sex for you? An interesting question Jabba - how does one describe something that cannot be articulated. Sex is an experience, a feeling, an emotion based desire for that something that sometimes leads to an ultimate reality. One's mind raises possibilities, and one's thoughts run rampant with anticipation. The mind is the biggest sex organ. Sex is not merely a physical act, in fact I would go as far as saying that it is less a physical act than an act of the psyche. Imagine what the sex act would be like without fantasy and desire. Mrgreen said it best here already. The eyes have it. To gaze into a partners eyes with that first mutual recognition that this is special. To gaze into a partners eyes with that first kiss and to gaze into a partners eyes as ones lips taste nether regions. To gaze into a partners eyes at that moment of entry. The eyes do tell the story that words can never capture. I would wager that this is not gender based, that it is a human characteristic and not geared specifically to either male or female, but to all of us. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 This is a great subject. You can't really resolve it without looking at how the mind works. Every one of us has a map deep in our subconscious about who we think we are, how we think about other people, and how we think about our interactions with others. These maps get laid down while our age is in early single digits, and we can never, ever perceive them directly. They're completely beyond direct reach, yet they completely dominate how we move around the world of other human beings. One part of that map is devoted to sex, and once again it's completely beyond our ability to perceive directly. We can only get clues about it indirectly, when something we perceive or experience triggers a response. Do enough of that, and you slowly build up a sense of what makes you work sexually, like mapping the sea floor with sonar; most of it is flat, but every so often you stumble across a bump that tells you "something is here!". Thing is, that map is completely irrational. Some of it is built up automatically to guide us to reproduction, but it's also littered with whatever your single-digit mind had access to at the time. It's full of symbolic meaning that often has nothing at ALL to do with reproductive-oriented sex. There's no way to predict what might provoke a sexual response from your deep subconscious until you go exploring and stumble across what works for you. That's how you end up with sexual fetishes, or simple preoccupations. Some thing are charged with meaning; we have a growing thread here devoted to stockings (awesome!) which, objectively speaking, are just an impractical kind of legwear. Yet they trigger ideas about clinging closely to a shapely leg, of something slightly-hidden-but-visible, and of a woman's body pointedly dressed up to emphasize gender and therefore sexuality, rather than practicality. I'm always amazed by the variety of things that can symbolize sex, and provoke a sexual response, without being explicitly sexual. There are entire languages being spoken with clothing, with postures and attitudes, with dominance and submission, risky ventures, simple shared "naughtiness", Good vs. Bad, and the potency of sharing a secret desire. It's --so-- much more about the brain; the body follows afterward. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted July 10, 2012 Sex is everything worthwhile ... All the senses at work. Touch, taste, sight, hearing (listening to my partners breathing change, her sighs, gasps, moans.... Is hugely erotic) and smell ... Whether it be the aroma of a seductive perfume or the smell of sex itself. And it combines these ... Taste produces touch, etc. And every time can be a different combination!!! The promise and expectation of sex, seduction and flirtation, the passion of sex itself (whether slow, gentle, and luxurious or frenzied and wild) and the warm afterglow of holding your partner in quiet tenderness. Wow!!! Can anything be better??? Porthos 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jabba 18389 Report post Posted July 11, 2012 What would sex mean if it were denied. Is it any less meaningful or powerful? I've experienced a moment with a prospective partner in the most unlikely of moments. It was at a tradeshow. I was providing constructive feedback to a rep on the level of service received from a branch. The female rep was initially on the defensive, but gradually took on a very receptive pose. Holy crap, I could have shagged her rotten right then and there! What if a person were blind or otherwise impaired? Would a disability deny a person a true sense or vision of sex? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nntsci 11076 Report post Posted July 21, 2012 "What if a person were blind or otherwise impaired? Would a disability deny a person a true sense or vision of sex?" Well I believe like in anything, the other senses compensate. In addition to sight, there are several other senses including smell, pressure, heat, cold, taste (salt, sugar, sour & bitter), sound, motion, and balance and they all play a role in the sexual experience. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nntsci 11076 Report post Posted August 1, 2012 I've just discovered that at least one of my pet frogs -- an Albino Clawed African Aquatic Frog -- is male... My aquarium (or frogarium) has gone all x-rated. The other one (the green and grey Clawed African Aquatic Frog), I hope for his sake, is perhaps female. Hes been clinging onto the other frog with his little hands wrapped around her belly for the past 4 hours or so. She swims around, he holds on tight. Its not doggy style... its froggy style. Love in the swampland jungle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
