Think im in trouble

[Yella 223]

I visited paradise for the second time 2 weeks ago, different girl than the first time i went. The problem is, she is the exact type of what i have always wanted, and now she is all i can think about. Im not in love or anythin lol, just saying out of all the girls i have seen, she is the one. Problem is im on such a tight budget i dont know when ill be able to re visit. Sigh

[Guest s**nflute]

I visited paradise for the second time 2 weeks ago, different girl than the first time i went. The problem is, she is the exact type of what i have always wanted, and now she is all i can think about. Im not in love or anythin lol, just saying out of all the girls i have seen, she is the one. Problem is im on such a tight budget i dont know when ill be able to re visit. Sigh

 

I have been there too......it's one of the hazards of the hobbie.

[Leber 1328]

This hobby can be addictive. May I suggest this. Go through your stuffs and pull out the items you hadn't used in years, sell them online to raise some funds.

[backrubman 64800]

The problem is, she is the exact type of what i have always wanted, and now she is all i can think about.

 

The answer to this problem is so simple it probably doesn't even occur to you. Emotional transference is always a hazard but it really can't truly happen in one visit. Keep in mind that that there are a million women out there that would have a similar effect on you (you just haven't met them yet) so pull the rip cord while you still can and never go back for more. Harsh -- I know, but truly good advice in the end.

[bigwilly 933]

The answer to this problem is so simple it probably doesn't even occur to you. Emotional transference is always a hazard but it really can't truly happen in one visit. Keep in mind that that there are a million women out there that would have a similar effect on you (you just haven't met them yet) so pull the rip cord while you still can and never go back for more. Harsh -- I know, but truly good advice in the end.

 

How this is harsh. Honest and probably the best advice that will be given on this topic.

I have been down that road and I can say, ride it till you know you are at the last possible moment. But like I said before, backrubman's comment is probably the best, and mine is the most reckless. Most fun, but reckless.

 

Good luck!

[Boomer 33202]

Go back and enjoy the experience. So you're infatuated, so what, we all go through this on occasion. I would suggest that you also play the field now and then. Always keep in mind though that this is their business, and they job is to give you the experience that brings you back for more.

 

As for funds, that's always the limiting factor. If you still are determined maybe you need a part time job and dedicate your earnings to your hobby.

[Jazzitup 5652]

This is what can happen and you need to develop the right perspective.

 

One of the things I learned here, is how to treat the women here in a new way. What I mean by that is, women can be friends or available for dates or looking for a relationship or just want to hang out. Assume that none of these apply to the women on here. Learn to enjoy your time with them and walk away. You may feel a conection with some, and when that happens you embrace it, be thankful and walk away looking forward to the next time you can get together.

 

Try not to blur the line between the services that the women provide and a relationship in the romantic sense. For me, it is like I have been trained since my youth that when you are intimate with a woman you have to court them and pay them lots of attention and let them know they are important to you. You need to resist this urge.

 

I have met some amazing women on cerb and I am truly appreciative of that, and I have a degree of affection for many of them and I can care about them without knowing them in their real lives. This is what I have learned.

 

My lasy piece of advice is to put yourself on a budget for this hobby. So that could be once a month or once every 2 months ... what ever it is stick to it.

 

Good luck.

[roamingguy 300291]

Well it applies equally to seeing SP's and MA's. To be blunt, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Yes it's great there is a type you've always wanted, but as I discovered there have been many ladies I've always wanted to meet (and have) You say you aren't in love but if you become too focused on one lady, you may develop strong emotional attachments that the lady won't recipricate. There are ladies I like and have repeated with (or will repeat with). But I personally like the polyamorous aspect of this lifestyle. For the most part I have good or great encounters, but I do look forward to the next encounter with another lady, hopefully it will be good or great. Good or great encounters aside, I treat them just as that, an encounter which is a couple hours escape. And the good and great ladies have the ability to make you feel special for the time you paid for but remember it is only because you paid for that time, it's not because they have true feelings for you...it's not a harsh or cold hearted assessment of this lifestyle, it's just the way it is. And there is a benefit of the paying no strings. And as much as I enjoy my encounters with ladies, I don't just focus on one lady, I look forward to another escape with another lady.

In short, if for no other reason than just your emotions sake (although seeing many ladies is fun too) play the field. Just wouldn't like to hear of someone falling in love and getting hurt

That is if I read your post right

Good luck

RG

[backrubman 64800]

Go back and enjoy the experience. So you're infatuated, so what, we all go through this on occasion. ...

As for funds, that's always the limiting factor. If you still are determined maybe you need a part time job and dedicate your earnings to your hobby.

 

I hope you won't take offence if I very respectfully disagree. I once got an arm full of medical grade heroin, OMG! Way better than any lady, nothing else in the whole world matters, I want to feel like this (this good) forever! It's like a 12 hour orgasm (and men only usually get one of 10 - 15 seconds). But common sense dictates the second and subsequent dose is the end, the very end.

 

While I have never fell victim to this myself (hopelessly in love with a lady other than my wife) I have witnessed the devastation and destruction it caused one of my friends, God rest his sole.

 

Yes, I'm, definitely back to the heroin, in the last few hours of my life and not before.

[theoldguy 507]

It is a very dangerous slippery slope to develop feelings for any provider. If you do go back she will eventually catch on and probably milk you for all she can. If you can afford it though it can be the experience of a lifetime to cross the proverbial line in the sand... Girls in these industries live quite interesting lifestyles, and getting to live some of it with them can be fantastic.

[roamingguy 300291]

It is a very dangerous slippery slope to develop feelings for any provider. If you do go back she will eventually catch on and probably milk you for all she can. If you can afford it though it can be the experience of a lifetime to cross the proverbial line in the sand... Girls in these industries live quite interesting lifestyles, and getting to live some of it with them can be fantastic.

 

Yes, she may milk you for all she can. It is income for her after all. Conversely she may want the encounters to end because she doesn't want a client trying to pursue her romanticaly. That could lead to a guy possibly being possessive and controlling. Also she may retire or move, or you may move. Keep your encounters in focus, or it can be a dangerous slippery slope.

There are ladies I like and may even consider within the confines of this lifestyle friends, but I never forget for one minute that every encounter I have with a lady, whether a lady I've met for the first time or for repeated times comes with a pricetag, that envelope filled with with her donation

Yes, enjoy the companionship a lady provides. The lady may like you, really like you, but as a client who pays her. But don't focus on one lady or you may get too drawn in emotionally

Myself, I can afford to see one lady a month, that's what my disposable income allows. If I should use credit, good god I don't know how many I'd see a month...that's why I stay disciplined. If I maxed out all credit (credit card, line of credit, cashing in RRSPs) my god I could be in heaven, until my money runs out and I'm looking at bankrupcy. And the ladies, they'll just move on and forget me. They liked me, but only with money. But I digress. I don't just focus on one or two ladies, I see quite a few (not bragging). Besides the fun of meeting new ladies, it is also a emotional safety net to make sure I don't get hooked on just one lady.

And the only four letter word starting with L and ending in E that I can use to describe my feelings for most of the ladies I see is LIKE And recognize this is companionship is for money.

This isn't cold calculating and cynical, it's just the way this lifestyle is

More ramblings for whatever it's worth

RG

[Guest s**nflute]

The answer to this problem is so simple it probably doesn't even occur to you. Emotional transference is always a hazard but it really can't truly happen in one visit. Keep in mind that that there are a million women out there that would have a similar effect on you (you just haven't met them yet) so pull the rip cord while you still can and never go back for more. Harsh -- I know, but truly good advice in the end.

 

That's good advice, but it's like trying to stop smoking cold turkey!!:icon_cry:

 

Don't put yourself in any financial trouble. I know I had to blank it out of my mind several times, but it does not hurt to go back NOT so oven, just spread the time frame longer each time. By that time the lady may have moved on somewhere else. Like backrubman said, that the ladies may or do have similar emotions.

 

Hang in there dude!!:icon_biggrin:

[DukeSSk 3430]

Certainly a true test of self-discipline. Take the time to sit down and think of how much you can reasonably afford to set aside for this hobby. It'd be wise to budget. Examine any other areas where you can cut back (restaurants outings, random snacking, alcohol, buying lunch vs. homemade lunches, etc...)

 

Great advice shared by the others regarding the emotional aspect of the topic. My compliments.

[LeeRichards 177238]

I visited paradise for the second time 2 weeks ago, different girl than the first time i went. The problem is, she is the exact type of what i have always wanted, and now she is all i can think about. Im not in love or anythin lol, just saying out of all the girls i have seen, she is the one. Problem is im on such a tight budget i dont know when ill be able to re visit. Sigh

 

Well it sounds like you had a great time ! I think it is great that you are thinking about her lots. I am sure that is exactly what most ladies want. A very happy repeat customer :) That makes them happy ! Your dilemna is the cashola issue. Save save save and be happy. Keep with the budget though !!! Any lady I have met would not want you to spend money that you shouldn't if it is going to cause problems in your life. My two cents.

 

Good Luck !

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

Yes, she may milk you for all she can. It is income for her after all. Conversely she may want the encounters to end because she doesn't want a client trying to pursue her romanticaly. That could lead to a guy possibly being possessive and controlling...

 

Although it is totally normal and understandable to develop genuine caring feelings for gentlemen we truly like and see every so often (and vice versa), the bounderies ARE clear- the exchange of money for companionship takes care of that all by itself.

 

Ladies do want repeat clients BUT not clients who are going to let themselves cross emotional bounderies. After all, this lifestyle is all about NSA 'relationships' without all the drama, headaches and complications a real relationship can bring. Once your vision starts to get blurred (client or companion), it is time to pause and re-evaluate the mutual-beneficial relationship.

 

Personally, I believe a professional companion, with just a little respect for others and herself, would not 'milk' a client for all he has before putting an end to the situation (even tough that client represents a certain income). Everybody needs money to live but money is not all that matters in life.

[roamingguy 300291]

Although it is totally normal and understandable to develop genuine caring feelings for gentlemen we truly like and see every so often (and vice versa), the bounderies ARE clear- the exchange of money for companionship takes care of that all by itself.

 

Ladies do want repeat clients BUT not clients who are going to let themselves cross emotional bounderies. After all, this lifestyle is all about NSA 'relationships' without all the drama, headaches and complications a real relationship can bring. Once your vision starts to get blurred (client or companion), it is time to pause and re-evaluate the mutual-beneficial relationship.

 

Personally, I believe a professional companion, with just a little respect for others and herself, would not 'milk' a client for all he has before putting an end to the situation (even tough that client represents a certain income). Everybody needs money to live but money is not all that matters in life.

 

Agreed Gabriella. There are ladies I like and hopefully vice versa. But I certainly remember the boundaries so as to not get emotionally drawn in.

And one way, and this isn't being cold or cynically, to keep your liking of a lady to not cross emotional boundaries is remember, she wouldn't see you no matter how charming and handsome you are as a man, except if you had her donation. This is a professional relationship, it's the intimacy that can confuse it for some. Another way to put it, I entered this lifestyle knowing it is paid companionship, not real dating, which if treated as such, is no strings drama free fun. This isn't LavaLife or eHarmony LOL

And there are providers who wouldn't milk a client for all he has sensing he has feelings for her, and deal with the matter professionally and appropriately. Then there are some less scrupulious providers (one comes to mind right now) who would exploit a man for all she can get, and move on. Those are the ladies in this lifestyle for a quick buck, but certainly not all ladies are like that and I hope I'm not painting everyone with the same brush, not my intent.

But thats why I said she may milk you, only because there are some, not all, that might

And personally, there are ladies I like, and that is the limits of my emotional involvement. Because more emotions than that leads to at least one person getting emotionally hurt, probably the guy, although a guy may, emphasis may get possessive which can cause hurt for the lady. And to me, the no strings drama free fun if done right has another benefit, no one should be hurt.

And don't focus on just one lady. Me, I've got encounters scheduled right through to January now, 7 ladies total, and of all of them, only two are repeats. Part of the fun is meeting new ladies and although not a worry for me (at 51 years old my emotional head is on pretty straight LOL) seeing other ladies helps makes sure you don't focus on just one lady if that make sense

Remember the intimacy the lady provides is fun and pleasurable, but don't equate it with love, it is no strings attached fun,a momentary escape and indulgance, not a relationship or lifetime committment

Hope that morning rambling makes sense

RG

[vernk101 100]

Im dealing with that right now. Already spent so much that my wife is starting to notice. But thanks for the advice, I might just see someone else next time

[Sixx25 240]

I wonder how many massage providers are involved in serious relationships? Or do they want serious relationships? Any thoughts anyone?

[Guest **oo**e]

You have to look for negatives and eventually stop going to see her. Same thing you do with a dessert. If it is too rich in calories eat half of it and then put salt on the rest before you have another forkful.

[Jazzitup 5652]

I wonder how many massage providers are involved in serious relationships? Or do they want serious relationships? Any thoughts anyone?

 

I am sure that there are as many kinds of relationship as you can think of. Off the top of my head, you will find married ones, single ones, ones that are dating, ones that have boy friends, ones that have girl friends and ones that are some combination of any and all of these. Some even have serious relationships with their pets. So don't be surprised at what you will find.

[roamingguy 300291]

I wonder how many massage providers are involved in serious relationships? Or do they want serious relationships? Any thoughts anyone?

 

Honestly I don't know. But here is something that has to be remembered.

For the gentlemen, this is an escape, an indulgence. For the ladies, this is their livelihood. And be they SP/MA/Dancer etc, as much as they are providing a very intimate service for gentlemen, it is to pay the bills, pay the rent, put food on the table etc etc etc. This lifestyle is not a dating site.

Likely any lady in this lifestyle looking for a serious relationship isn't looking for it from one of her clients, that's her work life. She'd likely look, if in fact she is looking, outside of this lifestyle, and away from her work.

Now never say never. But treat this lifestyle as it should be, an escape, a escape that you got because you paid the lady her donation. And be the best client you can be, a gentleman who treats the ladies with the utmost respect. But remember, you are her client, not her boyfriend or even prospective boyfriend. And if by a long shot a lady was interested in one of her clients, let her bring up subject and ask. Don't even broach the subject. It may make her feel very uncomfortable and not want to see you again

Remember, keep this lifestyle in perspective and it can be enjoyable by all, read too much into this, and someone is going to get hurt

My take on the matter

RG

[theoldguy 507]

Even if the provider in question brings up the subject of dating, chances are its meant to be a casual thing, an escape for her from her work and lifestyle just the same way you went to her for an escape in the first place. These girls usually end up having to isolate themselves from close friends and family, its not abnormal for them to end up feeling lonely and needing more "normal" human contact every so often.

 

And if it does happen, keep the thought in the back of your mind that you may be being hustled. Come to terms with the fact that it wont last. Ask yourself if what you're getting out of it is worth the cost.

 

I've made my own similar thread in the SC section. Oddly things have developped in the months since that first post where she was some unattainable object of desire. When she's in town, sure, I spend a small fortune seeing her at her work and outside of it. But to me, considering I am willing to spend hundreds in dances mostly just to talk to her, the investment is returned twentyfold when I spend hours talking to her on the phone when she's out of town.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Gringo_Love 573]

My take on this is age. I am older and occasionally I see a cerb lady. Omg. They all seem so young and I don't for a minute believe they would be interested in me. THAT sure helps with any mixed emotions I might have and it let's me enjoy the moment. I would not have been able to handle this as a younger guy. Now I don't worry about falling in love...I just worry about getting it up. LOL. Good luck.

[Guest s**nflute]

My take on this is age. I am older and occasionally I see a cerb lady. Omg. They all seem so young and I don't for a minute believe they would be interested in me. THAT sure helps with any mixed emotions I might have and it let's me enjoy the moment. I would not have been able to handle this as a younger guy. Now I don't worry about falling in love...I just worry about getting it up. LOL. Good luck.

 

I know exactly what you are saying, at our age love is not going to have and I really don't it to happen. Just enjoy the moment and be a gentlemen and a sugar daddy. No problem getting it up, sometimes it's getting it off.....wooohooo!!

[Old Dog 179138]

... failing all else, you could sell a kidney, preferably your own.