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Pick up lines...best / worst / funniest

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My friends and I while in university always joked about using this one (never did though)

 

How much does a polar bear weigh?........Just enough to break the ice.

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Guest M*****le*****c-H***s (Reti

A friend of a friend used to just go up to a pretty woman at a bar or somewhere and say, "Wanna fuck?" 9 times out of 10 he would get his face slapped.

That's right, only 9 times ... ;) lol

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You better put some guardrails up because honey, you have DANGEROUS curves.

 

I bet you a quarter that I can touch your boobs without using any part of my body.... (touching boobs, tossing quarter) Damn, I lose again ;)

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I bet you a quarter that I can touch your boobs without using any part of my body.... (touching boobs, tossing quarter) Damn, I lose again ;)

 

Of course I've fallen for that one. Was at an Irish Pub with me da, and this guy who used to be part of the Queen's army (they are from the North, we are from the south, so kinda mortal enemies), said he would bet me $5 that he could touch my boobs without using his hands. Took the bet, and of course he grabbed my boobs. Said "best $5 I've ever spent". I of course slugged him and replied "Love it when the traitors of Ireland pay me $5 to punch them" . Everyone in the bar roared with laughter cause this guy was seriously an idiot. Got a few rounds of drinks after that from everyone.

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Well Meaghan... I actually used my first one last night (the guardrails one) with AMAZING results.....

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I'm surprised nobody has come out with this one.

 

"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"

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I'm gonna nickname you "Big Toe"...I 'm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture I own...

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Guest webothscore

Try this one:

 

If it starts to go sour and you think she is about to shut you down:

 

Awwwww come on, be different, say yes, everyone else says no!

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I've never really tired to pick up never had to, I've always been on the receiving end. (Just kidding of course)

 

If I did actually try to do something I'd just go with being truthful. If I saw a lady that I superficially admired for her physical beauty and I hoped to possibly get to know her better I'd just be forthright.

 

I'd walk up to her and say, "Please excuse me for being so forward, but you have the most beautiful smile and I just couldn't help but notice. Seeing it made my day, thanks!". Then just walk away and don't look back but stay a safe distance away and carry on with whatever I'm doing. If the lady appriciates the compliment and wishes to explore further discussion then she'll come to me (I've broken the ice and conveyed attraction). If not, then at worst I just become a random stranger who gave her a compliment that she tells her friends about.

 

Seems pretty simple to me but not sure if it would work though.

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Over-heard this at the FB BBM lodge .... OD maybe ?

 

Didn't I see you at our last family reunion ? Well you is purttier than a fresh stuffed possum ! You make my shotgun go off sweetie !! wink wink ;)

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Guest D***el B***e

A couple of bad pickup lines:

 

"The word of the day is legs. Let's go to your place and spread the word."

"Wanna take a ride in my truck? It's a Ford... it's exotic."

"You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?"

"I wrote the dictionary on my cock last night, if you come to my house ill put some words in your mouth!"

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Guest D***el B***e

A guy was standing at a bar and a beautiful woman was beside him so he leans over and says,

"You remind me of my little toe"

She replies, "What? You Mean I'm small and cute?"

He says, "No. I'll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk."

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Guest realnicehat

I've actually had some pretty good luck with "Hi, I'm Lee Richards." ;)

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That's a really nice dress you are wearing... It's going to look even better in a ball on the floor of my bedroom :)

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