YMMV - Need Help

[brinston2004 100]

I know the mileage varies but how do you determine the mileage before you fully commit? I have had two very disappointing experiences in the past two months. I did my research and looked through all the recommendations here and made my decision based on those recommendations. The problem is that my mileage varied considerably from that of the recommendations leading me to wonder how much I can trust the recommendations. Let me state that the services I enjoy most are not kinky. I like the GFE - slow build up, DATY, BBJB or CBJ, release, then time relaxing chatting or cuddling until time has expired.

So here is my dilema - what is the best way to respectfully talk to a SP about the services they are offering before committing? If I am paying for services shouldn't I know what services I am getting? This is not always the case even when advertised in an ad or on a website.

I know that it can be uncomfortable or inadvisable talking about services on the phone. Also I am a shy person and will not usually discuss services when I am with a SP as I respect their boundaries and often a little nervous (and intimidated). During a session I will ask for things I like but if I am told no then I will respect that and not push.

So then how can I ensure that I get the service I want while at the same time respecting the privacy and security of the SP to ensure a mutually beneficial session?

 

Thanks

[GHT 798]

I don't think you can determine the mileage before you commit. I think you have to go in with a good attitude and hope for the best.

 

Its worked for me, I've never been disappointed. So I find your experience a bit mistifying. Like you all my tastes are served on the std GFE menu.

 

If you are interested in something specific, its best to talk to the lady about it way ahead of time. If you want CERB feedback, I think you need to be more specific about the circumstances you are in. Don't be shy.

 

Good Luck

[muff rancher 122]

As with anything in life, the root of disappointment usually comes from a lack of clear communication.

 

You mention in your post about being shy. This might have something to do with your appointments not meeting your expectations. It might help if, before you meet your SP, that you state upfront that you're normally a little bashful. That makes things a lot easier for your SP because she'll then know how to help you with that. Otherwise, your lack of verbal communication might wrongly be assumed as something else (being distant, being uninterested, etc).

 

Look at it from the SP's perspective, on meeting you she won't know what kind of guy you are or what you want. So even if if feels a little scary, it will be worth your while to say what you're looking for.

 

Also, remember that when you're spending time with an SP it can be a great way to boost your confidence because frankly, the good ones will tell you that they've seen and heard it all before... so the last thing you need to worry about is her laughing or recoiling at your perfectly reasonable advances.

 

Take your time researching. There are fabulous women here on cerb. Read the reviews carefully too. If they are penned by well established members, then you can usually take them at their word.

[mod 135639]

Usually the ladies offer the same service to everyone as long as your hygine is up to par. If you have bad odor, don't shower right before your appointment (or at your appointment), have bad breath (or rotten teeth), smell like cigarette smoke, onions, garlic, etc... if you creep her out in some way or make her uncomfortable, tried to bargain her price, asked her for some strange or odd request, etc.. etc.. etc.. ... any of these things could be your answer or even a combination of things.

 

Or your just unlucky but chances are it's something above as the ladies don't usually offer something to one person and not another unless something is not clicking or right.

[Guest Ou**or**n]

As always Mod is wise and these are the most likely reasons.

 

I can be a bit shy myself but I get around it through email or PM communication. At the risk of being funny this type of communication is YMMV with SP's - it is private and not illegal but some SP's are extremely cautious.

 

In terms of DATY you can always discretely mention this is something you enjoy and ask for a heads up if its not a good time for her. With CBJ, well that is pretty basic and if your mileage is varying there then you should seriously consider Mod's comments.

 

Apart from that try and work through your shyness. Most ladies genuinely appreciate communication as they want you to enjoy yourself.

[E.D. man 691]

I always ask if the lady DFK's and allows DATy if they don't, their not my SP to go too and if they don't perform these things when I go. I don't go back.

So I only reco the women I believe in on here.

[mod 135639]

I always ask if the lady DFK's and allows DATy if they don't, their not my SP to go too and if they don't perform these things when I go. I don't go back.

So I only reco the women I believe in on here.

 

The problem with this for some of the guys is...

 

They have rotten teeth, bad breath or hygiene, cold soars, facial hair, etc...

 

the ladies on the phone when asked if they kiss would say "Yes"....

 

But what they should say however is "yes, as long as you have fresh smelling breath, a nice smile, you don't have facial hair that will scratch me or any nasty stuff growing off your lips" ....

 

Some may find that offensive so they probably just say "yes" in most cases... Then the guy shows up and has some issues and the guy is mad cause she does not want to kiss old cigar breath with the rotten teeth and the grizzly beard. LOL

 

Bad picture I painted... I know... but this happens! Can you blame her for "Changing her mind?" then the guy just wants to post and tell everyone how horrible of a time he had with her cause she didn't do any of the stuff she said she would.

 

NO KISS = Breath, bad teeth, bad hygiene, smoke smell, onion/garlic/curry

 

NO DATY = Beard, bad teeth, bad hygiene

 

NO BJ = Bad Hygiene

 

NO SERVICE = Possibly any of the above, STI showing, RUDE, VULGAR, DRUNK, SCARY, CREEPY, Demanding, etc...

 

It's really just common sense but the guy who doesn't realize this is the reason is the guy who has no common sense or the jerk who thinks since he is paying for it she should do whatever he wants. (Guys who think this are idiots).

[bigdawg 473]

I alway's read the recommendations here and research the ladies the best that you can, but the main thing I think is hygeine, always be clean, fresh breath and smell good and the ladies will treat you good.:grin:

[Funtime 100]

You just need to be nice and polite and ask the SP what her restrictions are when she get's to your room. I've never had a problem asking an SP that when they arrived. Call Belle *******PHONE NUMBER REMOVED BY THE MOD - POSTING THE LADIES PHONE NUMBERS IN THREADS IS NOT PERMITTED***** she's great, no kissing and you can't go down on her but she'll make you feel special for sure.

 

 

 

 

I know the mileage varies but how do you determine the mileage before you fully commit? I have had two very disappointing experiences in the past two months. I did my research and looked through all the recommendations here and made my decision based on those recommendations. The problem is that my mileage varied considerably from that of the recommendations leading me to wonder how much I can trust the recommendations. Let me state that the services I enjoy most are not kinky. I like the GFE - slow build up, DATY, BBJB or CBJ, release, then time relaxing chatting or cuddling until time has expired.

So here is my dilema - what is the best way to respectfully talk to a SP about the services they are offering before committing? If I am paying for services shouldn't I know what services I am getting? This is not always the case even when advertised in an ad or on a website.

I know that it can be uncomfortable or inadvisable talking about services on the phone. Also I am a shy person and will not usually discuss services when I am with a SP as I respect their boundaries and often a little nervous (and intimidated). During a session I will ask for things I like but if I am told no then I will respect that and not push.

So then how can I ensure that I get the service I want while at the same time respecting the privacy and security of the SP to ensure a mutually beneficial session?

 

Thanks

[geo007 203]

Agree with all the comments above. Generally from my experience, the SPs usually provide the services they said they deliver on their web sites. The recommendations area is usually accurate also especially if they have been confirmed by a few hobbyists. You can sometimes hit an exception to the rule but it would be an exception. Try to find an SP who likes her job as she will usually be great. Once you find an SP who fits your fancy and who you are comfortable with, hang on to her.:wink:

[BigBlueMachine 112]

I agree with all the comments as well. Typically my experiences have all been good as thanks to this board etc we can research and find those we are most combatible with. YMMV to me means being respectful, clean and fun with the SP and most things you were expecting happen.

[c***y 181]

I agree with the posts above, you have to be clean as you would expect the lady to be clean also. I cannot stress enough that all of the ladies i have meet through CERB are awesome and deserve RESPECT, some people treat the ladies like pieces of meat. These ladies put themselves out there not always knowing what to expect. If you treat them right they will in turn treat the next guy as well as she treated you. :neutral:

[Guest C**Tra****er]

Good advice from everyone, and I agree with all of you. It's been said already but it can't be stressed enough...RESPECT. It doesn't matter how these ladies earn their living, they are mothers, daughters, sisters, girlfriends and wives...some may even be grandmothers. They deserve to be respected and that shouldn't have to be mentioned, it should be a given.

 

You should view seeing your chosen lady as going on a date for the first time, you have to get to know each other a bit...communication is the key. Remember that she is putting herself out there too, and doesn't know what to expect from you either. Listen to what she says and respect her wishes and boundaries.

[brinston2004 100]

Agree with all the comments above. Generally from my experience, the SPs usually provide the services they said they deliver on their web sites. The recommendations area is usually accurate also especially if they have been confirmed by a few hobbyists. You can sometimes hit an exception to the rule but it would be an exception. Try to find an SP who likes her job as she will usually be great. Once you find an SP who fits your fancy and who you are comfortable with, hang on to her.:wink:

 

This is part of my dilema. I used to see a SP on a regular basis and develop a rapport with her. She knew what I liked and I knew what she like and what her limitations were and respected them. Unfortunately she has sinced moved on and I am looking to develop that kind of rapport with another, just haven't found the right one yet.

[E.D. man 691]

The problem with this for some of the guys is...

 

They have rotten teeth, bad breath or hygiene, cold soars, facial hair, etc...

 

the ladies on the phone when asked if they kiss would say "Yes"....

 

But what they should say however is "yes, as long as you have fresh smelling breath, a nice smile, you don't have facial hair that will scratch me or any nasty stuff growing off your lips" ....

 

Some may find that offensive so they probably just say "yes" in most cases... Then the guy shows up and has some issues and the guy is mad cause she does not want to kiss old cigar breath with the rotten teeth and the grizzly beard. LOL

 

Bad picture I painted... I know... but this happens! Can you blame her for "Changing her mind?" then the guy just wants to post and tell everyone how horrible of a time he had with her cause she didn't do any of the stuff she said she would.

 

NO KISS = Breath, bad teeth, bad hygiene, smoke smell, onion/garlic/curry

 

NO DATY = Beard, bad teeth, bad hygiene

 

NO BJ = Bad Hygiene

 

NO SERVICE = Possibly any of the above, STI showing, RUDE, VULGAR, DRUNK, SCARY, CREEPY, Demanding, etc...

 

It's really just common sense but the guy who doesn't realize this is the reason is the guy who has no common sense or the jerk who thinks since he is paying for it she should do whatever he wants. (Guys who think this are idiots).

Yes but I am a very clean person. I noticed I had garlic breath one day. So I asked the SP if she had any listerine or scope. But I shower 1 to 2 times a day and always before I see an SP. Sometimes I even ask the SP to shower with me, alot easier and sexier to do your back other than a brush.

Some SP's will judge people on their looks. It happens.

Or some full figured SP's will advertise themselves as a petite package because thier short. Which is misleading. But their also are alot of honest SP's and those are the ones I'll keep returning too.

The honest SP's I think are happy in what their doing.

The ones who aren't, I think prefer one time customers.

[brinston2004 100]

Thanks for all the advice. I agree that respect is not only key but mandatory. I always treat everyone with respect. I will always respect a SP's limits and restrictions. I also have good personal hygiene and even though I have a beard I keep it trimmed short and well groomed.

I have read many of the threads here and follow the sage advice of many regarding preparing for an appointment. My question is this - having done all your research and having arrived for an appointment and assuming I can get over my shyness (big assumption, but not impossible), to enter into a discussion, what is the best way to respectfully ask about the services offered before the appointment begins?

Secondly - what do you do if the services are not what you are expecting?

[Ava Foxx 1747]

If you don't mind, may I ask what exactly it is that you're not getting out of your encounters? What exactly is lacking? You mentioned all the things that you would like from an encounter but you were not specific as to which services you did not receive the last few times. I think it will help us, to help you, if we know a few more details. For example, did the ladies not want to cuddle or did they not want certain sexual acts performed...or vice versa? With just that extra bit of info, I think we can give you more specific advice pertaining to your situation as opposed to making generalizations ;).

[Andee 220524]

I think the MOD pretty well summed it up already.

 

As for me, my services are clearly outlined on my site. I am also pretty open about answering questions and clarifying things if the person does not come across vulgar or overly explicit.

 

The only two things that I do not care for are anal and deep digits (uncomfortable and potential to get scratched).

 

Other than that, I am pretty easy to get along with.

 

But like the MOD said if your hygiene is not up to par, you are probably not going to get the same service I would extend someone else.

 

As for what can you do if the services are not what you expected...live and learn. Sounds to me like you may have had a bad experience. If you're truly confident you conducted yourself accordingly, perhaps you had the wrong match of SP.

 

I believe the recommendations on CERB are probably a better bet than, say nothing.

[PistolPete 61421]

In my time, I have never had an issue with a lady, I conduct myself in a professional manner, and do the same with ladies.

 

On no account do I walk in her door and ask what is on the menu? I might ask through a pm or email what services ARE NOT available, avoids any confusion, (the reason I ask is because I love to kiss it really turns me on).

 

I deliver always the envelope, and if there is something she does not wish to do, then it is a close item, simply move onwards and have a great time.

 

I also might be a fanatic about shaving, and I will shave prior to my date, so there is not a whisker on my face! (BTW there is no whiskers below too:cooter:) which I believe the ladies like = no whisker burns facially and below for the ladies, plus it feels so nice to glide along the slippery slopes of sexuality.

 

Lastly treat them through emails or pm with the greatest respect, as they are very much deserving of that at all times.

[cat 262460]

I think it's important to understand there could be a myriad of reasons why people don't "click". It may be the guests grooming, but it could also be the SP was having an off day. Maybe you reminded her of someone from the past or she just had some drama in her personal life. We are not suppose to have bad days, but it happens. I have had days where I knew I had too much going on, but the appointments were booked and I couldn't let my visitors down. An SP being able to get her head in the right space comes with experience which takes time to accrue. Many of the SP's are young and still learning. Don't automatically assume it was you, and don't take it personally.

 

I'm sorry you had experiences that didn't live up to your expectations. Give yourself a chance to find the right provider and it will be well worth it.

 

Cat

[mod 135639]

I have a beard I keep it trimmed short and well groomed.

 

This could explain some things. DFK, DATY, ETC... beards (even well groomed) are not SP FRIENDLY in most cases.

 

what do you do if the services are not what you are expecting?

 

Simple. You don't rebook with her and maybe you don't tip her if you feel the service was misrepresented. You take this change with every service you purchase from someone. If it's a contractor doing drywall, a web designer or a escort - you never really know if you will be 100% satisfied until you give them a chance. You can get all the recommendations in the world but you two may not see eye to eye.

 

What do you do? You keep searching for someone you "Click" with and gets the job done the way you want it.

 

Your expectations or "standards" may be too high and that is fine just don't be disappointed when you can't find what you are looking for in every lady.

 

I am sure you will find someone eventually that you "Click" with and become a regular client with her. Guys who are VERY particular usually search until they find someone that is perfect for them and become "regular" clients.

 

Consider this part as doing your homework and no matter what if she is recommended here it's going to be a lot better then doing the job yourself even if she does not meet your high standards.

 

P.S. You should answer AvaFoxx's reply (details) it would let everyone assist you further with specifics. No need to be shy here!

[buggernot 588]

This could explain some things. DFK, DATY, ETC... beards (even well groomed) are not SP FRIENDLY in most cases.

 

I have a beard and it has never been a problem. Well maybe one time - with a sp that I had seen 10 times before, was comfortable being honest, and she just said that it was a bit prickly that day when kissing.

 

DATY has always been well received also because I use my tongue, not my chin or upper lip ;)

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I have a beard and it has never been a problem ...

 

For what it's worth, I too possess both a beard and a very happy tongue.

[jerican 657]

Myself as well and I get very few complaints! As long as you are aware and conscious of the fact and you make an effort to be gentle all is good!

 

For what it's worth, I too possess both a beard and a very happy tongue.

[VedaSloan 119179]

Myself as well and I get very few complaints! As long as you are aware and conscious of the fact and you make an effort to be gentle all is good!

 

 

From my side of things, I love a beard. I think they're hot. That's a personal pref, but even if that weren't my preference, it still wouldn't bother me. I kind of like soaking someone's beard in my juices.