Guest c**io**m7 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 We all have our ways of dealing with life situations and we all handle affairs of the heart in our own way as well. Today's question: Heart, head or instinct? When it comes to love, which do you follow? I am a believer in the heart, always have been and it has been both good and bad. I am 44 years old and I still follow it. As I have gotten older I am finding that I finally know what I want out of life and love, found it without warning where I least expected it but it is a seemingly impossible situation. I say seemingly because I hate the word "never". My head and instincts are doing battle with my heart as I am finding that even though I am experiencing some of the greatest joys, I am also experiencing some of the hardest pains. My head and instincts say one thing, my heart continues to move forward and as a believer in the heart...I can't give up. How about others, how do you decide whether to pursue or let it go? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78396 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 I am 50 plus and have learned over the years that affairs if the heart really can't be placed in just one category... of course you need to follow your heart but your instincts, logic and intelligence need to also play a part. Love...is a complex and challenging mistress...one who will bring amazing happiness and beauty into your life but it comes with heartache, pain and loneliness all of which I accept as part if the deal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
havefun101 130 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 Control you're mind for you're mind knows best and is capable of making well thought of decisions , once you let you're heart control you then you run and act purely based on emotions. The trick is to try and balance it out and be able to control them. Personally in my opinion it requires both to fall in love, if both disagree with one another then the person will always remain in doubt. Never give up and never let to, be firm and stand and walk in the direction that you want to walk in. How ever remember that you need both to agree in order to have peace of mind and soul. This is my opinion :), wish you the best. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214071 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 Have/will anyone ever find the perfect mate, I think I did but why am I in this lifestyle? You have to get to know the person before you say that you are meant for one another, this will take time. If I would have followed my heart I wouldn't be happy today, If I would have followed my head I would have a beautiful lady by my side but not sure if I would be happy. If i would have followed my instinct I think I would be in the same boat. So what is the right answer? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 I am of a more re-structured mind. Our instincts (or inner voice) is more connected to our heart than our head. Our head is the center of ego (thus the negative voice that's louder then the rest). When we quiet ourselves enough to hear the inner voice, THAT is the one that never steers us wrong. So I would say get out of your head, get out of your heart and hear the inner voice. You are right, there is no such thing as "never". If we listen to the right voice, things fall into place even if they seem impossible. Speaking from experience, I have found this to be true. Good luck. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
olderguy 5797 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 In relationships following my heart has caused me to be burned more than once. However, following my head (the big one by the way :) ) has caused me far less heartache. Admittedly. less exciting at times, but far less pain. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *l**e Report post Posted December 15, 2013 @Midnight...that was a really great answer...now if only I was able to do it...lol My heart and head both tend to over rule my "inner voice"...not sure why...probably fear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest c**io**m7 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 You said it Midnight. This head vs instinct vs heart battle is being won by the heart because the instinct (inner voice) is on the heart's side. It is listening to the head's logic and, as a result, keeping the heart in check...lol Older guy...I hear ya...I was raised to believe that the greatest pains are caused by the greatest love. Trying to stop heartache runs a risk of stopping the dream of ultimate love. It fkn hurts sometimes, a lot, but...I cannot fathom denying myself the chance of something more wonderful than I could ever imagine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 I would rather risk heartache and pain and have no regrets than to not take a risk and wonder "what if" and perhaps miss out on something great. Everything in my life, good and bad, has taught me something which made me better, stronger or happier in the end. That was worth whatever happened! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest a**4* Report post Posted December 15, 2013 I would rather risk heartache and pain and have no regrets than to not take a risk and wonder "what if" and perhaps miss out on something great. Everything in my life, good and bad, has taught me something which made me better, stronger or happier in the end. That was worth whatever happened! Thank-you Midnite this is something that has just happened to me and it is for me to follow my heart this lady I met over a year ago she found me again and the feelings are stronger for her if all goes well I will be bringing her to Canada in about a year beautiful lady from South Africa your message says alot Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest realnicehat Report post Posted December 15, 2013 When it comes right down to it, it is all in your mind as far as I'm concerned. My heart? It's a pump. Regardless of what the poets and promoters of Valentines day have told us, it is simply in there doing it's job. You might as well be giving your liver a vote. It's easy to follow ones instincts, after all, they're simply a natural reaction to recurring events. You eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, get off when you're horny. But instincts are dangerous when self control isn't involved. It's why some people are over weight, why others smoke a pack a day or why some throw thousands of dollars away chasing a win at the casino. Right now you are in a simple battle of will. What's some might consider the right thing to do vs what feels good. What you think you want vs what you would have to do or who you would have to hurt to get it. It's not an easy decision, I'm glad I'm not in your shoes, but I assure you, it's all in your head. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest c**io**m7 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 I would rather risk heartache and pain and have no regrets than to not take a risk and wonder "what if" and perhaps miss out on something great. Everything in my life, good and bad, has taught me something which made me better, stronger or happier in the end. That was worth whatever happened! That is why I am where I am today...deciding with my heart. I do not recall a more wonderful moment in my life than the day my lady said "I love you". We have had some tough moments this past little while but, I believe those pains will be worth it in the end. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Midnite-Energies 110563 Report post Posted December 15, 2013 @realnicehat, the "instincts" I'm speaking of are of a more spiritual nature and involve what's best for the person. Self control, moderation, sex, love etc. are all human needs/instincts and each person deals with them in different ways. Some are positive for us, some are negative. They involve choice as most things in life do as well as risk, want vs need and a slew of other "head" components. In that respect, you are correct, it IS all in the head. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest realnicehat Report post Posted December 15, 2013 (edited) @realnicehat, the "instincts" I'm speaking of are of a more spiritual nature and involve what's best for the person. Self control, moderation, sex, love etc. are all human needs/instincts and each person deals with them in different ways. Some are positive for us, some are negative. They involve choice as most things in life do as well as risk, want vs need and a slew of other "head" components. In that respect, you are correct, it IS all in the head. Tracie, My post was a direct answer to the original question only. While I understood you post, I saw no way to acknowledge it without getting in to a discussion regarding our different beliefs about spiritualism which would have hijacked the thread. :) Edited December 15, 2013 by realnicehat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
