Faked Emotional Response

[muncher459 1040]

I want to thank everyone who responded, I truly appreciate those who understood the situation. This a subject that I was more interested in the behavioral aspect, and not so much seeking advice. I also do not want this thread to go on and on

[Brad 49548]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but...

 

If a lady is able to create an atmosphere where you as a client feel the romance or connection you require, is that really a "darker side of the situation"?

 

Don't get me wrong, I certainly hope any lady I spend time with enjoys it as well, and I like the idea that at some level a friendship/respect can develop. But I also know quite well this is a professional relationship.

 

So while in an encounter I would prefer an atmosphere where there is a connection and chemistry, I know to a degree this can be created because the lady is a professional and because of her demeanor.

 

Likewise, I know for some guys they want an encounter where they can let off some emotional baggage or stress, and have a lady who will listen to them and sympathize. And many do this very well. Again, I don't think it's somehow deceptive for a lady to thoughtfully listen and care for a time.

 

But unless you mean something more manipulative, I'm not sure I understand the issue. Also, I suspect most people can only "fake" chemistry and caring so much.

 

Basically what you allude to as a darker side I think I'd rather interpret as a professional companion who is able to judge and provide for the needs of a given client.

[Guest realnicehat]

I agree with Brad in that I'm not entirely sure of the intention of your thread.

 

When I have written about connecting or chemistry in the past it has been about a certain level of comfort or the enjoyment of a lady's company.

 

Think about the relationships you have in everyday life, there are acquaintances, friends, and extremely close friends. What determines those relationships is chemistry.

 

My tendency is to gravitate towards real, no bullshit people. I spend my time with people I simply enjoy and assume that that is why they are spending time with me. I still operate under the same principles when I am paying for someone's time but hold no illusions as to why the lady is there.

 

Yes, I repeat with the ones who seem to enjoy my company and there are rare occasions when I have become close enough to be somewhat of a confidant but I have never felt manipulated or that anyone was being "fake". I've also never felt like someone was trying to get me to see them exclusively.

 

What may sum it up best is something I said in another thread: I have many friends with benefits, I simply pay for the benefits. If I wouldn't be friends with a provider then I won't see her as a client.

 

So, from my personal experience, I don't feel like faking a connection to "corner the market" is common. A smart business woman will learn what a client likes in order to create regulars but will also know that things like manipulation are not good for long term business. In my mind creating a fantasy and faking an emotional connection are very different things.

 

Perhaps if you were to share more about your situation or what has you pondering this you may get more specific responses.

[Athos 108589]

It all depends on what you are looking for. But it seems to me that if you are seeking a degree of intimacy ... the GFE ... then a degree of emotional attachment is exactly what you should be hoping for. Some ladies are extremely good at creating this experience, and this, it seems to me, is what generates repeat customers. When, as clients, we talk about ATFs, it is precisely because of this sort of emotional connection.

 

How far that emotional connection goes, how "real" it is, etc., etc., is always open for debate and discussion. Sometimes it goes too far, and a lady may actually seek to end the relationship with a client because it is too uncomfortable. Is that the lady's fault, for providing too good an emotional connection, or the client's for not understanding the boundaries of that emotional situation? In most instances, I think it is the client's, but sometimes there is shared responsibility.

 

some Boxing Day musings.

 

Porthos

[roamingguy 300291]

Faked emotional response, darker side???...sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding your post or maybe I'm dumb, don't know. The ladies don't corner a market by trying to have one client exclusively. A companion's profession is based on ensuring having a broad enough client base to sustain their profession as their livelihood.

A connection or chemistry between SP/Client isn't about trying to corner the market either. It just means that irrespective of the SP/Client relationship, which at it's root being a business relationship, the lady likes you and you like her...and intimacy and sex IMHO is so much better with someone you like

If a companion doesn't really like you, unless you contact her for a repeat encounter (remember you as a client initiate contact with a lady, not the other way around) she won't see you (unless you are a unsafe/bad client). And even if the companion is an academy award winning actress, and she really doesn't like you, but makes you feel like she likes and wants you, and there is a special chemistry between you and her, then how is that a dark side. She is fulfilling the fantasy role (that some like) that you are desired by a beautiful woman

Finally she can't corner the market like you say, unless you allow yourself to be cornered...remember, as I pointed out earlier, you have to book encounters with the lady, not the other way around. But personally, if a lady can corner the market, then that to me means she is a very good companion. That isn't the dark side of the profession. A companion like that to me is the absolute bright side of the profession.

I personally have met more than a few ladies who could fall into the category of bright side of this profession, it is just my enjoyment of the poly amorous nature of this lifestyle that precludes me from seeing just one companion exclusively that stops me from being "cornered" But if one of those ladies "cornered" (and cornering would be oh so good) me, well my posts would be in the recommendation threads, not wondering if that is the "dark" side.

Like I said, I'm not really sure where you are headed with this thread, but my two cents for what it's worth

RG

[Guest S*rca****sid]

I got the impression from the original post, what he may be referring to as the "darker side" as being taken advantage of. Case in point, the Darquise Lecuyer case which happened a couple years ago.

[roamingguy 300291]

I got the impression from the original post, what he may be referring to as the "darker side" as being taken advantage of. Case in point, the Darquise Lecuyer case which happened a couple years ago.

 

Thanks for that. But at least to me, she isn't so much a professional companion as a con artist who used sex to defraud and con a man.

A "lady" like that gives professional companions and this lifestyle a bad name, just like the bad dates a professional companion deals with gives all men and the lifestyle a bad name too

If the OP is concerned about something like this happening, couple quick tips.

First, use your big head to do your thinking. A companion may really enjoy seeing you as a client...but think about it, if a beautiful woman half your age for example says she loves you, well use your big head. Has something like that ever happened to you in civilian life (I admit I'm assuming it is a case in most cases, of an older man seeing a younger companion)

Second, only use disposable income for this lifestyle. Don't use credit (lines of credit, credit cards, worse payday loans etc) taking out second mortgages, cashing in savings etc. Only use that cash money you have available and is disposable for each encounter (not earmarked for bills etc)...at the most you only risk that amount of money used for each encounter. Also, and again using your big head, think, is this lady, or any lady worth risking going broke over and would she love you if you had no money

Finally if concerned about falling head over heals in love, see more than one companion, enjoy the poly amorous nature of this lifestyle.

Just a few quick thoughts

RG

[muncher459 1040]

See post above....don't want this to turn into an advice column

[Guest realnicehat]

No, it is not common.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

OK, ummmm....

if she is trying to "monopolise" on you, that would indeed be a bad business move. I mean it is best to have 10 of you rather one...unless your very very wealthy, then perhaps she could be trying to figure out if you could be a sugar daddy?

 

Do you know her well, a bit beyond client/provider lines? Does she share family photo's? Talk about her best friend? Ever go out together? Have you ever just plain asked her what she is looking for? Have you stated what you want? Are you single, does she know this? Are you paying for her time at your convenience or hers?

 

There is so much to consider. It can happen that you find your mate like this, it happened for me. BUT we took a year or more to discover each other. We both disused what and how this would work. He remained a client for a year, as we moved forward I clearly defined what I needed in a relationship and so did he.

 

Be upfront, be clear and don't beat around the bush. If you have red flags ie: cell phone bills, rent, need food....more then one occasion

then you may need to examine this closely or run away...lol

[roamingguy 300291]

Another question, is she expecting you to see her to the exclusion of other companions,

and

second part of the question, is she willing to just see you to the exclusion of other clients

and

third part of the question if you are to see her exclusively and she to see you exclusively, do you keep your encounters at the same frequency, or do you need to increase the frequency of encounters (so she doesn't lose income) or do you no longer have encounters anymore...you begin to date, date in the conventional civilian sense of the word

Don't know if that helps or not

Good Luck

RG

[cinelli 22184]

I am a balding overweight guy nearing retirement. My only redeeming quality is having more money than I know what to do with.

If some attractive woman half my age started telling me she was in love with me I would be very sceptical.

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

There is a dark side in this business, just like anything else in life.

This dark side has many forms, one of which is what you have described in this thread.

Who is responsible for this dark side? Both, the client and the provider are responsible.