Dealing with Anxiety and the Hobby

[belladonna 279]

They don't think this hobby is meant for the clinically anxious, and yet they are the first to claim that they are a part of the community. Whether they're treading on existential waters or at the threshold of neurosis and psychosis, wanting to become a hobbyist or sp is a difficult decision.

 

The ability to self-soothe and rationalize is a lost cause for the anxiety ridden individual. Even though they would be the ones at the front lines, supporting the community, they are also constantly questioning why they are willing to be the first to die.

 

The anxious person is always changing her mind. When one day the hobby is the greatest thing in the world, the next day it is worst than sin.

 

The anxious person would write this because they find it extremely difficult to participate in the hobby, even though they truly enjoy it and would never want to leave the community. They are Janus, always looking in opposite directions.

 

They suppose it's fault of their indoctrination as youths. They want to break free of it, but they cannot. Their disease cripples them.

 

They only want to express their sexuality, without being afraid and always questioning their desires...

[Newton 714]

I voted no. But the first time I was anxious for a number of reasons: moral, legal, LE and worried about the chemistry. After the first time, all seems fine.

:)

[Guest s******ecan****]

The poll needs a "sometimes" option. Of course most would probably select that so the numbers might prove meaningless in the end. The fact is I am sometimes anxious about aspects of the hobby. I'd be crazy not to. I lead a double life as a result so there is always the chance I will be found out (part of the thrill) It presents a significant outlay of $$$ at times, even with safe sex there is still risk, etc etc.

 

So far it isn't enough of a problem to interfere with my participation - does that make me a "no", or am I a "yes" because I experience it sometimes.

[canuckhooker 19202]

Well the question is "Do you suffer from anxiety?" and my response was, yeah sometimes I am all about anxiety. It doesn't necessarily stem from this hobby, but is a fact of life in general. Sometimes I am the most laid-back dude you want to meet, and sometimes I am completely on "spin-dry".

[daddio 2704]

OMG Belladonna:

 

Why did you post this thread?

 

Why are you doing this to me?

 

Anxiety? Ha! - I laugh in the face of anxiety ..... except ...

 

I'm like The Fonz, who couldn't say "... uh, so ... sor ... sorr." lol

 

My an ... anx ... is cyclical, which has nothing to do with the fact that I get around on a bicycle.

 

What I need is to lie on your couch.

 

But you are in Ottawa, so I can't.

 

Which makes me an... anx... sheesh, I can't even begin to tell you how that makes me feel.

 

How did you know my middle name is Janus???

 

Mmmm?

 

How DID you know??

 

That makes me a... an ...

[Andee 220524]

Not sure what point you are trying to make with this post?

 

Are you asking SPs if they suffer from anxiety or hobbyiests or both? And if so, only when it comes to hobbying or in general? I think everyone suffers from anxiety from time to time. I would have answered "sometimes".

 

 

Maybe it's just me, but I think this one went over my head. To me, the examples you describe are more of a person who is constantly changing their mind rather than simply being affected by anxiety (which could be the cause).

[buggernot 588]

Everybody has anxiety, it's just that some have a better grasp of it than others. And some may periodically get mixed feelings about this particular activity because of uncertainties and emotional responses. Fear of the unknown creates anxiety, but conversely it can be exciting too.

 

I think even if you have your sexuality in check and feel comfortable in your own shell, the pangs of anxiety will still emerge from time to time. If that's not the case, the creeping feeling will manifest itself continually with much intensity. C'est la vie

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

I do not suffer from an anxiety disorder, or any mental disorder. To me, that implies that I will always be at the disorder's mercy, that I have no choice but to suffer the symptoms.

Sorry to pull semantics, but I believe firmly in the power one word can hold; mental illness [vs. the push to use mental health], for example, implies that there is a cure out there and an anorexic simply needs to eat a fucking sandwich.

 

He has a mental disorder.

She lives with a mental disorder.

 

Don't get me wrong - I am not suggesting that people with mental health issues do not suffer, but that it is the symptoms that cause distress.

 

</rambling>

 

Short answer: yes, and not just one specific type. It used to be, if I arrived to class late, I couldn't bring myself to walk in, because it would be me vs a sea of classmates.

I've learned to manage it. Them. Anyway. So it hasn't affected this aspect besides maybe a few more butterflies than usual when anticipating an arrival. Definitely a bonus!

I'm fairly open about mental health, so if you want to talk, PM me :)

[buggernot 588]

Katedot + cerb = Lucy

 

 

I sent you a PM...do you want the nickel via PayPal or Western Union?

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

If only my hair was that hot.

[NatalieWood 6427]

I have to say I get more butterflies in my stomach when I hobby than when I act as an SP. I wouldn't call it anxiety though.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest S**a*Q]

I get the butterflies as well, like when I'm meeting new clients, but I think that's a healthy form of anxiety... It adds the fun and the newness to a meeting, it's not a bad feeling, but a good one :D

 

If I stressed out about being a service provider, if I was always worried, if being with clients messed me up to the point where it was detrimental to my personality or my job, then yes that's a problem.. but that's the negative anxiety.

 

I think there's good stress/anxiety and bad stress/anxiety. Ultimately, how we deal or react to the stressor, simply boils down to the coping skills that we have at our disposal.

[spaceykca 198]

I do not suffer from debilitating anxiety, but I guess you can say I get anxious. I tend to worry, and I am probably a touch neurotic... which can make me be a spazz(klutz, trip over my words etc...), and i can get nervous... I think it stems from having a very overactive imagination. Which is great - especially when it concerns my career but can come up with the most outrageous scenarios prior to a meeting.

 

At first, yes, I had issues of actually going out and doing this. Still do for the most part but am able to deal and I understand that it is a part of my own sexual exploration and maturation. Do I still feel guilty? yes, but less so. But whatever... Anyways... whenever I see someone I always think that they may already know me, or know of me, or know my SO or family etc... or on the way over or while knocking on a door or leaving that i bump into a friend or wife or relative. Or my SO has hired a private detective, or im being followed...the list goes on... some of it is quite hilarious actually!

 

overall, yes i do get anxiety over this hobby, but i also believe that everyone gets some form of anxiety in life and as long as it is not debilitating it is a good thing, as it does make you feel alive and you can get past things. I always view it as a form of excitement too... almost like that feeling you get in horror movies... Have no idea if any of this makes sense... but maybe im just spazzing here... yeah.. im a freak...

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

Interesting thread and some good interesting discussion. I partake in this hobby partialy to alleviate the anxiety I deal with in my "real life" My day job is a pressure cooker with constantly changing deadlines, shifting priorities and a lot of go go go, it's not a job I can easily leave at 5 O'clock and rarely do. Constantly on call and always thinking about work.

 

This hobby is an escape, the same way I like to spend time with friends or go for walks , relax reading a good book etc. Sure I might get a little nervous when meeting an sp for the first time or a little worried when taking a chance with an undiscovered provider through less credible listings but the tingly feeling you get when you're anxious is part of the thrill of this hobby, isn't it ?

[Guest]

Hello, Bella

Yes I deal with a fair bit of anxiety. I try not to let it get in my way. To be honest I deal much better one on one. I have done things to force myself to open up. Such as musicals. This does help a lot. If you can sing and dance infront of 200 people, then you can do anything. I like how honest you were Kate. The thing is knowing you have a problem. Don't let it take over you. So what you may feel like a dork sometimes. Get over it. Push forward. You will find that their are many other dorks out there.

 

As to me feeling anxious about the job. It can be a love hate relationship. No shows, rude question ect, ect. I have to say that all jobs are stressful. You would not bring your personal problems to a normal job. So why bring it to this job. I find most of the time when I keep busy. I feel great. There is no job in the world. Where your boss is going to ask how to please you. So in my head this is my vacation. There are to many things to be happy about in this living. :bddog::bddog::bddog:

[Andee 220524]

If only my hair was that hot.

 

I thought your blonde hair looked pretty sexy when I met you!

[antlerman 17064]

my problem is there are too many big words in Bella's post.......:?:

 

I have a problem with big words.......:shock:

[Loki318 1631]

I have to say I get more butterflies in my stomach when I hobby than when I act as an SP. I wouldn't call it anxiety though.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

Amanda I have a special on this week if you want to hobby with me ;)

 

Loki318

 

PS Travel can be arranged :)

[Loki318 1631]

I get the butterflies as well, like when I'm meeting new clients, but I think that's a healthy form of anxiety... It adds the fun and the newness to a meeting, it's not a bad feeling, but a good one :D

 

If I stressed out about being a service provider, if I was always worried, if being with clients messed me up to the point where it was detrimental to my personality or my job, then yes that's a problem.. but that's the negative anxiety.

 

I think there's good stress/anxiety and bad stress/anxiety. Ultimately, how we deal or react to the stressor, simply boils down to the coping skills that we have at our disposal.

There you have it short and to the point :) Well said

 

Loki318

[Guest s******ecan****]

Katedot + cerb = Lucy

 

 

I sent you a PM...do you want the nickel via PayPal or Western Union?

 

God poor Lucy still only a nickel? She needs a new business manager.

[Newton 714]

Peachy, you got a good perspective. I wish my boss could kiss my ass once in a while. Haha.

:)

[whatsup 11893]

I voted no to anxiety, but I will say that I do suffer from Nervous Anticipation (knees shaking) when meeting the lovely provider of my choice for the first time, on subsequent visits this diminishes entirely.

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

I thought your blonde hair looked pretty sexy when I met you!

 

Kate has that special smouldering kinda sexy workin' for her, understated yet so hot at the same time, at least that's how this cowboy sees it. Thin whisps of golden blond hair, and those sexy eyes lookin at you through those glasses, what red blooded man could refuse the temptation!

[NatalieWood 6427]

I am very envious of Kate's sexy bedroom hair.

[andflemcol 3975]

I voted yes to this as I do feel the anxiety every time I hobby. Some of my anxiety is related to concerns over hitting it off with the SP and some to the fear of hobbying itself. I don't feel as much anxiety as I did when I first started hobbying. I think a little anxiety is a good thing cause without it, I may get a little too complacent and mistakes can be made.

 

Cheers