A scene in a restaurant. What would you do?

[CristyCurves 169032]

Sad:( What would I have done? Well, I would have politely asked to speak to the mother away from her kids and then repeat her words. I would have told her if she didn't behave I'd follow her home and throw her against her walls. Probably not the right thing but nothing will set me off more than adults who are abusive to children or animals. There is never a justifiable reason to be verbally or physically abusive to children, never.

I'm sorry your so experienced such sadness, in her life and that day. Hugs to her:)

[Guest c**io**m7]

There are some things in life I cannot tolerate and, as such, cannot ever turn a blind eye. Child abuse and spousal abuse are two of them.

 

I am the type who would've walked over and whispered in the ear of the mother a very polite message: I will be waiting to watch you folks leave, I will take your license plate number and provide it to the Children's Aid for follow up.

 

I have zero tolerance.

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

Wow that is a tricky one!

 

I thought about it, and at first my instinct is to get up say " excuse me, what did you say?" But then, she could take it out the kids later.

Call cops and ask them to speak to her? Well probably wont have the outcome we hope for either...

 

So, I would time it so as she took a drink of a nice hot coffee, I would walk behind her and " accidently" jolt her chair with a kick to the leg of the chair, making her spill hot coffee all down her pretty blouse all the while with a smile and a glance to the kids and say " ohh dear, did I HURT you?" Or say" ohh shit I bumped into that WALL! " Send a wink to the kids and carry on! At least for a moment I can be a hero to the kids and they would know that I intentionally done it for their sake.

 

Then like the previous poster, would also get licence plate and call child protection.

[qwertyaccount 15793]

I would not confront the child abusers, sorry, potential child abusers directly about what was overheard.

 

That would likely result in their being more cautious about their outbursts in the future to avoid detection.

 

Also, no good deed goes unpunished - confronting the parents in any direct way could exasperate the problem as well at putting yourself at risk of immediate danger or future retribution. There is also a chance that the parents would punish the kids further at home for causing the conflict.

 

I would clandestinely turn on my cell phone audio/video recorder to capture any additional evidence I could.

 

Calling 911 is probably inappropriate as the kids are not in immediate danger but I would call the non-emergency police number as well as child protective services, if the police don't arrive before they leave I would note their license plate if they have a car and speaking with the waiter/waitress that served them, because if they paid with anything but cash the police will be able to locate them in minutes.

[cinelli 22184]

Two hands working will acheive more than a thousand hands praying.

[jafo105 39057]

The subject of child abuse and spousal abuse brings great concern to me. I grew up witnessing both.

 

 

In Ontario, The Child and Family Services Act recognizes that each and everyone of us holds a responsibility for the protection of children.

 

It does not matter if your facts are accurate or just mere suspicions - You must report them to the Children's Aid Society (CAS).

 

Protection from liability - CFSA s. 72(7)

 

If a civil action is brought against a person who made a report, that person will be protected unless he or she acted maliciously or without reasonable grounds for his or her suspicion.

 

They have tried to make reporting as easy as possible. In most major cities (Ontario) you can call "4-1-1". That is a very easy number to remember.

 

As soon as you suspect abuse or neglect anytime - 24 hours-a-day , 7 days-a-week . A phone call to CAS will bring immediate help to a child at risk of abuse. It is not your responsibility to determine whether abuse or neglect has occurred. Each CAS is responsible for the investigation and the assessment of abuse and neglect of children and also the ultimate management of a case when a child is taken into care. Please contact your local CAS immediately if you have concerns about a child!

 

http://www.oacas.org/childwelfare/report.htm

 

http://www.children.gov.on.ca/htdocs/English/topics/childrensaid/reportingabuse/abuseandneglect/abuseandneglect.aspx

[qwertyaccount 15793]

Good info Jafo, thank you.

 

They have tried to make reporting as easy as possible. In most major cities (Ontario) you can call "4-1-1". That is a very easy number to remember.

 

I think you mean 3-1-1.

[jafo105 39057]

Good info Jafo, thank you.

 

 

 

I think you mean 3-1-1.

 

Thank you Qwerty, I just realized that 411 is information. Hmm...

 

How do I contact a CAS or get more information?

 

You can find your local CAS in your local telephone listings or, where available, by dialing 411. In some communities, the CAS is known as "family and children's services" or "child and family services".

 

You can also find information about all of Ontario's CASs at http://www.oacas.org, the web site of the Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies.

 

Anyone who has a reasonable suspicion that a child is or may be in need of protection must contact a CAS immediately.

 

http://www.children.gov.on.ca/htdocs/English/topics/childrensaid/reportingabuse/abuseandneglect/abuseandneglect.aspx

[Guest P**aq]

When it comes to children it is always best to be safe rather than sorry; report the incident, even if you are not completely sure. I've done this once in the past and I do not regret the decision; it turned out to be the right one.

[Guest c**io**m7]

 

Also, no good deed goes unpunished - confronting the parents in any direct way could exasperate the problem as well at putting yourself at risk of immediate danger or future retribution.

 

 

Great point but, my zero tolerance is unrelated to my own safety. If I pay a price for protecting a child, so be it. As far as I am concerned, the welfare of that child carries more value than my personal safety.

 

Sometimes doing the right thing is not easy...but, doing nothing is even harder for me.

[Fresh start 17467]

I can tell you what I think or would want to do in such situation but truthfully, its impossible to say. During the heat of the moment with adrenaline and other emotions running wild its difficult. I can say I'm sorry for your SO, and I know how she must of felt at that moment. I come from an abusive house hold as well and can say even through the abuse was done a long time ago the pain can still be with us. I bet her body reacted the same way at the restaurant as it did when she was young. The anxiety and the sickness in the stomach the sudden urge to leave and escape. It's almost as if reliving the experience all over. You can't help but feel the pain these kids must feel.

 

This does remind me of a similar situation I had recently. I was at a restaurant eating and a mother was eating with her grown up daughter. I don't know the context or even know what was the reasoning, but the mother was saying some absolutely horrible things to her daughter and was laying down a huge guilt trip. Despite the daughter tears and please to stop she continued until the daughter left crying. When the food arrived the mother had told the waitress that her daughter left her again. So when I left I stopped by the mothers table and said if she treats her daughter that way, one day she will stop seeing you and will be left alone.

 

When I was a kid I use to think I deserved the abuse and that it was my fault. So for those of you who would stand up to and say something I thank you it give me validation that I did not deserve that. It may have effected me in negative ways but I am a stronger person today.